Mindset : The New Psychology of Success

RANDOMHOUSE|NEWYORK

Allrightsreserved.

PublishedintheUnitedStatesbyRandomHouse,animprintanddivisionofPenguinRandomHouseLLC,

NewYork.

RANDOMHOUSEandtheHOUSEcolophonareregisteredtrademarksofPenguinRandomHouseLLC.

GratefulacknowledgmentismadetoJeremyP.Tarcher,animprintofPenguinRandomHouseLLC,for

permissiontoreprintfourillustrationsfrompp.18–19ofTheNewDrawingontheRightSideoftheBrain

WorkbookbyBettyEdwards,copyright©2003.ReprintedbypermissionofJeremyP.Tarcher,animprint

ofPenguinRandomHouseLLC.

Originallypublishedinaslightlydifferentformin2006byRandomHouse,animprintanddivisionof

PenguinRandomHouseLLC.

LIBRARYOFCONGRESSCATALOGING-IN—PUBLICATIONDATADweck,CarolS.

Mindset:thenewpsychologyofsuccess/CarolS.Dweckp.cm.

Includesindex.

ISBN978-1-4000-6275-1

eBookISBN978-1-58836523-1

Beliefanddoubt.2.Success—Psychologicalaspects.I.Title.

BF773.D852006

153.8—dc222005046454

EbookISBN 9781588365231

randomhousebooks.com

UPDATEDEDITION

Coverdesign:RichardRossiterv4.1

Contents
Cover
TitlePage
Copyright
Introduction
Chapter1:TheMindsets
Chapter2:InsidetheMindsets
Chapter3:TheTruthAboutAbilityandAccomplishment
Chapter4:Sports:TheMindsetofaChampion
Chapter5:Business:MindsetandLeadership
Chapter6:Relationships:MindsetsinLove(orNot)
Chapter7:Parents,Teachers,andCoaches:WhereDoMindsetsComeFrom?
Chapter8:ChangingMindsets
Notes
RecommendedBooks
AbouttheAuthor

INTRODUCTION

One day, my students sat me down and ordered me to write this book. They

wanted people to be able to use our work to make their lives better. It was

something I’d wanted to do for a long time, but it became my number one

priority.

Myworkispartofatraditioninpsychologythatshowsthepowerofpeople’s

beliefs.These may be beliefs we’re aware of or unaware of, but they strongly

affect what we want and whether we succeed in getting it. This tradition also

shows how changing people’s beliefs—even the simplest beliefs—can have

profoundeffects.

In this book, you’ll learn how a simple belief about yourself—a belief we

discoveredinourresearch—guidesalargepartofyourlife.Infact,itpermeates

everypartofyourlife.Muchofwhatyouthinkofasyourpersonalityactually

grows out of this “mindset.” Much of what may be preventing you from

fulfillingyourpotentialgrowsoutofit.

Nobookhaseverexplainedthismindsetandshownpeoplehowtomakeuse

ofitintheirlives. You’ll suddenly understand thegreats—inthesciencesand

arts, in sports, and in business—and the would-have-beens. You’ll understand

yourmate,yourboss, your friends, your kids. You’llseehowtounleash your

potential—andyourchildren’s.

Itismyprivilegetosharemyfindingswithyou.Besidesaccountsofpeople

from my research, I’ve filled each chapter with stories both ripped from the

headlinesandbasedonmyownlifeandexperience,soyoucanseethemindsets

inaction.(Inmostcases,namesandpersonalinformationhavebeenchangedto

preserveanonymity;insomecases,severalpeoplehavebeencondensedintoone

tomakeaclearerpoint.Anumberoftheexchangesarere-createdfrommemory,

andIhaverenderedthemtothebestofmyability.)Attheendofeachchapter

andthroughoutthelastchapter,Ishowyouwaystoapplythelessons—waysto

recognizethemindsetthatisguidingyourlife,tounderstandhowitworks,and

tochangeitifyouwish.

A little note about grammar. I know it and I love it, but I haven’t always

followed it in this book. I start sentences with ands and buts. I end sentences

withprepositions.Iusethepluraltheyincontextsthatrequirethesingularheor

she.I’vedonethisforinformalityandimmediacy,andIhopethatthesticklers

willforgiveme.

A little note on this updated edition. I felt it was important to add new

information to some of the chapters. I added our new study on organizational

mindsetstochapter5(Business).Yes,awholeorganizationcanhaveamindset!

Iaddedanewsectionon“falsegrowthmindset”tochapter7(Parents,Teachers,

and Coaches) after I learned about the many creative ways people were

interpretingandimplementingthegrowthmindset,notalwaysaccurately.AndI

added “The Journey to a (True) Growth Mindset” to chapter 8 (Changing

Mindsets)becausemanypeoplehaveaskedformoreinformationonhowtotake

thatjourney.Ihopetheseupdatesarehelpful.

I’dliketotakethischancetothankallofthepeoplewhomademyresearch

andthisbookpossible.Mystudentshavemademyresearchcareeracomplete

joy.Ihopethey’velearnedasmuchfrommeasI’velearnedfromthem.I’dalso

liketothanktheorganizationsthatsupportedourresearch:theWilliamT.Grant

Foundation,theNationalScienceFoundation,theDepartmentofEducation,the

National Institute of Mental Health, the National Institute of Child Health and

HumanDevelopment,theSpencerFoundation,andtheRaikesFoundation.

ThepeopleatRandomHousehavebeenthemostencouragingteamIcould

wish for: Webster Younce, Daniel Menaker, Tom Perry, and, most of all,

Caroline Sutton and Jennifer Hershey, my editors. Your excitement about my

bookandyourgreatsuggestionshavemadeallthedifference.Ithankmysuperb

agent,GilesAnderson,aswellasHeidiGrantforputtingmeintouchwithhim.

Thankstoallthepeoplewhogavemeinputandfeedback,butspecialthanks

toPollyShulman,RichardDweck,andMaryannPeshkinfortheirextensiveand

insightful comments. Finally, I thank my husband, David, for the love and

enthusiasm that give my life an extra dimension. His support throughout this

projectwasextraordinary.

Myworkhasbeenaboutgrowth,andithashelpedfostermyowngrowth.Itis

mywishthatitwilldothesameforyou.

Chapter1

THEMINDSETS

When I was a young researcher, just starting out, something happened that

changed my life. I was obsessed with understanding how people cope with

failures,and Idecidedto studyitby watchinghowstudents grapplewithhard

problems.SoI broughtchildrenone at atimeto a roomintheir school,made

themcomfortable,andthengavethemaseriesofpuzzlestosolve.Thefirstones

werefairlyeasy,butthenextoneswerehard.Asthestudentsgrunted,perspired,

and toiled, I watched their strategies and probed what they were thinking and

feeling. I expected differences among children in how they coped with the

difficulty,butIsawsomethingIneverexpected.

Confronted with the hard puzzles, one ten-year-old boy pulled up his chair,

rubbedhishandstogether,smackedhislips,andcriedout,“Iloveachallenge!”

Another,sweatingawayonthesepuzzles,lookedupwithapleasedexpression

andsaidwithauthority,“Youknow,Iwashopingthiswouldbeinformative!”

What’s wrong with them? I wondered. I always thought you coped with

failure or you didn’t cope with failure. I never thought anyone loved failure.

Werethesealienchildrenorweretheyontosomething?

Everyone has a role model, someone who pointed the way at a critical

moment in their lives. These children were my role models. They obviously

knew something I didn’t and I was determined to figure it out—to understand

thekindofmindsetthatcouldturnafailureintoagift.

What did they know? They knew that human qualities, such as intellectual

skills, could be cultivated. And that’s what they were doing—getting smarter.

Notonlyweren’ttheydiscouragedbyfailure,theydidn’teventhinktheywere

failing.Theythoughttheywerelearning.

I,ontheotherhand,thoughthumanqualitieswerecarvedinstone.Youwere

smartoryouweren’t,andfailuremeantyouweren’t.Itwasthatsimple.Ifyou

couldarrangesuccesses and avoid failures(atallcosts), you couldstaysmart.

Struggles,mistakes,perseverancewerejustnotpartofthispicture.

Whether human qualities are things that can be cultivated or things that are

carvedinstoneisanoldissue.Whatthesebeliefsmeanforyouisanewone:

What are the consequences of thinking that your intelligence or personality is

somethingyoucandevelop,asopposedtosomethingthatisafixed,deep-seated

trait? Let’s first look in on the age-old, fiercely waged debate about human

natureandthenreturntothequestionofwhatthesebeliefsmeanforyou.

WHYDOPEOPLEDIFFER?

Sincethe dawnoftime, peoplehavethought differently,acteddifferently,and

fareddifferentlyfromeachother.Itwasguaranteedthatsomeonewouldaskthe

questionofwhypeoplediffered—whysomepeoplearesmarterormoremoral—

andwhethertherewassomethingthatmadethempermanentlydifferent.Experts

lineduponbothsides.Someclaimedthattherewasastrongphysicalbasisfor

thesedifferences,makingthemunavoidableandunalterable.Throughtheages,

these alleged physical differences have included bumps on the skull

(phrenology),thesizeandshapeoftheskull(craniology),and,today,genes.

Otherspointedtothestrongdifferencesinpeople’sbackgrounds,experiences,

training,orwaysoflearning.Itmaysurpriseyoutoknowthatabigchampionof

thisviewwasAlfredBinet,theinventoroftheIQtest.Wasn’ttheIQtestmeant

to summarize children’s unchangeable intelligence? In fact, no. Binet, a

FrenchmanworkinginParisintheearlytwentiethcentury,designedthistestto

identifychildrenwho werenotprofiting fromtheParispublic schools,sothat

neweducationalprogramscouldbedesignedtogetthembackontrack.Without

denyingindividualdifferencesinchildren’sintellects,hebelievedthateducation

and practice could bring about fundamental changes in intelligence. Here is a

quotefromoneofhismajorbooks,ModernIdeasAboutChildren,inwhichhe

summarizeshisworkwithhundredsofchildrenwithlearningdifficulties:

Afewmodernphilosophers…assertthatanindividual’sintelligence

isafixedquantity,aquantitywhichcannotbeincreased.Wemust

protest and react against this brutal pessimism….With practice,

training, and above all, method, we manage to increase our

attention,ourmemory,ourjudgmentandliterallytobecomemore

intelligentthanwewerebefore.

Who’sright?Todaymostexpertsagreethatit’snoteither–or.It’snotnature

ornurture,genesorenvironment.Fromconceptionon,there’saconstantgive-

and-takebetweenthetwo.Infact,asGilbertGottlieb,aneminentneuroscientist,

putit,notonly do genes and environment cooperateaswedevelop,but genes

requireinputfromtheenvironmenttoworkproperly.

At the same time, scientists are learning that people have more capacity for

lifelonglearningandbraindevelopmentthantheyeverthought.Ofcourse,each

person has a unique genetic endowment. People may start with different

temperamentsanddifferentaptitudes,butitisclearthatexperience,training,and

personalefforttakethemtherestoftheway.RobertSternberg,thepresent-day

guru of intelligence, writes that the major factor in whether people achieve

expertise“isnotsomefixedpriorability,butpurposefulengagement.”Or,ashis

forerunner Binet recognized, it’s not always the people who start out the

smartestwhoendupthesmartest.

WHATDOESALLTHISMEANFORYOU?THETWOMINDSETS

It’sonethingtohavepunditsspoutingtheiropinionsaboutscientificissues.It’s

anotherthingtounderstandhowtheseviewsapplytoyou.Forthirtyyears,my

researchhasshownthattheviewyouadoptforyourselfprofoundlyaffectsthe

way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you

want to be and whether you accomplish the things you value. How does this

happen?Howcanasimplebeliefhavethepowertotransformyourpsychology

and,asaresult,yourlife?

Believingthatyourqualitiesarecarvedinstone—thefixedmindset—creates

anurgencytoproveyourselfoverandover.Ifyouhaveonlyacertainamountof

intelligence, a certain personality, and a certain moral character—well, then

you’dbetterprovethatyouhaveahealthydoseofthem.Itsimplywouldn’tdo

tolookorfeeldeficientinthesemostbasiccharacteristics.

Someof usaretrainedinthismindsetfromanearlyage.Even asachild,I

wasfocusedonbeingsmart,butthefixedmindsetwasreallystampedinbyMrs.

Wilson,mysixth-gradeteacher.UnlikeAlfredBinet,shebelievedthatpeople’s

IQ scores told the whole story of who they were. We were seated around the

roominIQorder,andonlythehighest-IQstudentscouldbetrustedtocarrythe

flag, clap the erasers, or take a note to the principal. Aside from the daily

stomachaches she provoked with her judgmental stance, she was creating a

mindset in which everyone in the class had one consuming goal—look smart,

don’tlookdumb. Whocaredabout or enjoyedlearningwhen ourwholebeing

wasatstakeeverytimeshegaveusatestorcalledonusinclass?

I’veseensomanypeoplewiththisoneconsuminggoalofprovingthemselves

—in the classroom, in their careers, and in their relationships. Every situation

calls for a confirmation of their intelligence, personality, or character. Every

situationisevaluated:WillIsucceedorfail?WillIlooksmartordumb?WillI

beacceptedorrejected?WillIfeellikeawinneroraloser?

Butdoesn’toursocietyvalueintelligence,personality,andcharacter?Isn’tit

normaltowantthesetraits?Yes,but…

There’s another mindset in which these traits are not simply a hand you’re

dealtandhave to live with,alwaystryingto convince yourselfandothersthat

youhavea royalflushwhen you’resecretlyworried it’sapairoftens.In this

mindset, the hand you’re dealt is just the starting point for development. This

growthmindsetisbasedonthebeliefthatyourbasicqualitiesarethingsyoucan

cultivate through your efforts, your strategies, and help from others. Although

people may differ in every which way—in their initial talents and aptitudes,

interests,ortemperaments—everyonecanchangeandgrowthroughapplication

andexperience.

Dopeoplewiththismindsetbelievethatanyonecanbeanything,thatanyone

withpropermotivationoreducationcanbecomeEinsteinorBeethoven?No,but

theybelievethataperson’struepotentialisunknown(andunknowable);thatit’s

impossibletoforeseewhatcanbeaccomplishedwithyearsofpassion,toil,and

training.

Did you know that Darwin and Tolstoy were considered ordinary children?

That Ben Hogan, one of the greatest golfers of all time, was completely

uncoordinatedandgracelessasachild?ThatthephotographerCindySherman,

whohasbeenonvirtuallyeverylistofthemostimportantartistsofthetwentieth

century, failed her first photography course? That Geraldine Page, one of our

greatestactresses,wasadvisedtogiveitupforlackoftalent?

Youcanseehowthebeliefthatcherishedqualitiescanbedevelopedcreatesa

passionforlearning.Whywastetimeprovingoverandoverhowgreatyouare,

whenyoucouldbegettingbetter?Whyhidedeficienciesinsteadofovercoming

them?Whylookforfriendsorpartnerswhowilljustshoreupyourself-esteem

insteadofoneswhowillalsochallengeyoutogrow?Andwhyseekoutthetried

andtrue,insteadofexperiencesthatwillstretchyou?Thepassionforstretching

yourselfandstickingtoit,even(orespecially)whenit’snotgoingwell,isthe

hallmarkofthegrowthmindset.Thisisthemindsetthatallowspeopletothrive

duringsomeofthemostchallengingtimesintheirlives.

AVIEWFROMTHETWOMINDSETS

Togiveyouabettersenseofhowthetwomindsetswork,imagine—asvividly

asyoucan—thatyouareayoungadulthavingareallybadday:

Oneday,yougotoaclassthatisreallyimportanttoyouandthat

youlikealot.Theprofessorreturnsthemidtermpaperstotheclass.

YougotaC+.You’reverydisappointed.Thateveningontheway

back to your home, you find that you’ve gotten a parking ticket.

Being really frustrated, you call your best friend to share your

experiencebutaresortofbrushedoff.

Whatwouldyouthink?Whatwouldyoufeel?Whatwouldyoudo?

WhenIaskedpeoplewiththefixedmindset,thisiswhattheysaid:“I’dfeel

like a reject.” “I’m a total failure.” “I’m an idiot.” “I’m a loser.” “I’d feel

worthlessanddumb—everyone’sbetterthanme.”“I’mslime.”Inotherwords,

they’dseewhathappenedasadirectmeasureoftheircompetenceandworth.

This is what they’d think about their lives: “My life is pitiful.” “I have no

life.” “Somebody upstairs doesn’t like me.” “The world is out to get me.”

“Someoneisouttodestroyme.”“Nobodylovesme,everybodyhatesme.”“Life

isunfairandalleffortsareuseless.”“Lifestinks.I’mstupid.Nothinggoodever

happenstome.”“I’mthemostunluckypersononthisearth.”

Excuseme,wastheredeathanddestruction,orjustagrade,aticket,andabad

phonecall?

Arethesejustpeoplewithlowself-esteem?Orcard-carryingpessimists?No.

Whentheyaren’tcopingwithfailure,theyfeeljustasworthyandoptimistic—

andbrightandattractive—aspeoplewiththegrowthmindset.

Sohowwouldtheycope?“Iwouldn’tbothertoputsomuchtimeandeffort

into doing well in anything.” (In other words, don’t let anyone measure you

again.)“Donothing.”“Stayinbed.”“Getdrunk.”“Eat.”“YellatsomeoneifI

get a chance to.” “Eat chocolate.” “Listen to music and pout.” “Go into my

closetandsitthere.”“Pickafightwithsomebody.”“Cry.”“Breaksomething.”

“Whatistheretodo?”

What is there to do! You know, when I wrote the vignette, I intentionally

made the grade a C+, not an F. It was a midterm rather than a final. It was a

parking ticket, not a car wreck. They were “sort of brushed off,” not rejected

outright. Nothing catastrophic or irreversible happened. Yet from this raw

materialthefixedmindsetcreatedthefeelingofutterfailureandparalysis.

WhenIgavepeoplewiththegrowthmindsetthesamevignette,here’swhat

theysaid.They’dthink:

“I need to try harder in class, be more careful when parking the car, and

wonderifmyfriendhadabadday.”

“TheC+ wouldtell methat I’dhavetoworkalotharderinthe class,butI

havetherestofthesemestertopullupmygrade.”

Thereweremany,manymorelikethis,butIthinkyougettheidea.Now,how

wouldtheycope?Directly.

“I’dstartthinkingaboutstudyingharder(orstudyinginadifferentway)for

mynexttestinthatclass,I’dpaytheticket,andI’dworkthingsoutwithmybest

friendthenexttimewespeak.”

“I’d look at what was wrong on my exam, resolve to do better, pay my

parkingticket,andcallmyfriendtotellherIwasupsetthedaybefore.”

“Workhardonmynextpaper,speaktotheteacher,bemorecarefulwhereI

parkorcontesttheticket,andfindoutwhat’swrongwithmyfriend.”

Youdon’thavetohaveonemindsetortheothertobeupset.Whowouldn’t

be?Thingslikeapoorgradeorarebufffromafriendorlovedone—theseare

notfunevents.Noonewassmackingtheirlipswithrelish.Yetthosepeoplewith

thegrowth mindsetwerenot labelingthemselvesandthrowingup theirhands.

Eventhoughtheyfeltdistressed,theywerereadytotaketherisks,confrontthe

challenges,andkeepworkingatthem.

SO,WHAT’SNEW?

Isthissuchanovelidea?Wehavelotsofsayingsthatstresstheimportanceof

riskandthepowerofpersistence, such as “Nothing ventured, nothinggained”

and “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” or “Rome wasn’t built in a

day.” (By the way, I was delighted to learn that the Italians have the same

expression.)Whatistrulyamazingisthatpeoplewiththefixedmindsetwould

notagree.Forthem,it’s“Nothingventured,nothinglost.”“Ifatfirstyoudon’t

succeed,you probablydon’thave theability.”“If Romewasn’tbuilt inaday,

maybeitwasn’tmeanttobe.”Inotherwords,riskandeffortaretwothingsthat

might reveal your inadequacies and show that you were not up to the task. In

fact,it’sstartlingtoseethedegreetowhichpeoplewiththefixedmindsetdonot

believeinputtingineffortorgettinghelp.

What’salsonewisthatpeople’sideasaboutriskandeffortgrowoutoftheir

morebasicmindset.It’snotjustthatsomepeoplehappentorecognizethevalue

ofchallengingthemselvesandtheimportanceofeffort.Ourresearchhasshown

that this comes directly from the growth mindset. When we teach people the

growthmindset,withitsfocusondevelopment,theseideasaboutchallengeand

effortfollow.Similarly,it’snotjustthatsomepeoplehappentodislikechallenge

andeffort.Whenwe(temporarily)putpeopleinafixedmindset,withitsfocus

onpermanenttraits,theyquicklyfearchallengeanddevalueeffort.

We often see books with titles like The Ten Secrets of the World’s Most

SuccessfulPeoplecrowdingtheshelvesofbookstores,andthesebooksmaygive

manyusefultips.Butthey’reusuallyalistofunconnectedpointers,like“Take

more risks!” or “Believe in yourself!” While you’re left admiring people who

candothat,it’sneverclearhowthesethingsfittogetherorhowyoucouldever

becomethat way. So you’re inspired for a few days, but basically the world’s

mostsuccessfulpeoplestillhavetheirsecrets.

Instead,asyoubegintounderstandthefixedandgrowthmindsets,youwill

seeexactlyhowonethingleadstoanother—howabeliefthatyourqualitiesare

carved in stone leads to a host of thoughts and actions, and how a belief that

yourqualitiescanbecultivatedleadstoahostofdifferentthoughtsandactions,

taking you down an entirely different road. It’s what we psychologists call an

Aha!experience.NotonlyhaveIseenthisinmyresearchwhenweteachpeople

anewmindset,butIgetlettersallthetimefrompeoplewhohavereadmywork.

They recognize themselves: “As I read your article I literally found myself

sayingoverandoveragain,‘Thisisme,thisisme!’ ”Theyseetheconnections:

“Yourarticlecompletelyblewmeaway.IfeltIhaddiscoveredthesecretofthe

universe!”Theyfeeltheirmindsetsreorienting:“Icancertainlyreportakindof

personal revolution happening in my own thinking, and this is an exciting

feeling.” And they can put this new thinking into practice for themselves and

others:“Yourworkhasallowedmetotransformmyworkwithchildrenandsee

educationthrough adifferentlens,”or“I justwanted toletyouknowwhat an

impact—on a personal and practical level—your outstanding research has had

forhundredsofstudents.”Igetlotsoftheselettersfromcoachesandbusiness

leaders,too.

SELF-INSIGHT:WHOHASACCURATEVIEWSOFTHEIRASSETS

ANDLIMITATIONS?

Well,maybethepeoplewiththegrowthmindsetdon’tthinkthey’reEinsteinor

Beethoven, but aren’t they more likely to have inflated views of their abilities

andtryfor thingsthey’renotcapable of?Infact,studies showthatpeople are

terrible at estimating their abilities. Recently, we set out to see who is most

likely to do this. Sure, we found that people greatly misestimated their

performance and their ability. But it was those with the fixed mindset who

accounted for almost all the inaccuracy. The people with the growth mindset

wereamazinglyaccurate.

When you think about it, this makes sense. If, like those with the growth

mindset, you believe you can develop yourself, then you’re open to accurate

informationaboutyourcurrentabilities,evenifit’sunflattering.What’smore,if

you’re oriented toward learning, as they are, you need accurate information

aboutyourcurrentabilitiesinordertolearneffectively.However,ifeverything

iseithergoodnewsorbadnewsaboutyourprecioustraits—asitiswithfixed-

mindsetpeople—distortionalmostinevitablyentersthepicture.Someoutcomes

are magnified, others are explained away, and before you know it you don’t

knowyourselfatall.

Howard Gardner, in his book Extraordinary Minds, concluded that

exceptionalindividualshave“aspecialtalentforidentifyingtheirownstrengths

and weaknesses.” It’s interesting that those with the growth mindset seem to

havethattalent.

WHAT’SINSTORE

Theotherthingexceptionalpeopleseemtohaveisaspecialtalentforconverting

life’ssetbacks intofuture successes.Creativityresearchersconcur.Inapollof

143 creativity researchers, there was wide agreement about the number one

ingredientincreativeachievement.Anditwasexactlythekindofperseverance

andresilienceproducedbythegrowthmindset.

You may be asking again, How can one belief lead to all this—the love of

challenge,beliefineffort,resilienceinthefaceofsetbacks,andgreater(more

creative!) success? In the chapters that follow, you’ll see exactly how this

happens:howthemindsetschangewhatpeoplestriveforandwhattheyseeas

success. How they change the definition, significance, and impact of failure.

And how they change the deepest meaning of effort. You’ll see how these

mindsets play out in school, in sports, in the workplace, and in relationships.

You’llseewheretheycomefromandhowtheycanbechanged.

GrowYourMindset

Which mindset do you have? Answer these questions about

intelligence. Read each statement and decide whether you mostly

agreewithitordisagreewithit.

1.Yourintelligenceissomethingverybasicaboutyouthatyou

can’tchangeverymuch.

2.Youcanlearnnewthings,butyoucan’treallychangehow

intelligentyouare.

3.Nomatterhowmuchintelligenceyouhave,youcanalways

changeitquiteabit.

4.Youcanalwayssubstantiallychangehowintelligentyouare.

Questions1and2arethefixed-mindsetquestions.Questions3and

4 reflect the growth mindset. Which mindset did you agree with

more?Youcanbeamixture,butmostpeopleleantowardoneor

theother.

Youalsohavebeliefsaboutotherabilities.Youcouldsubstitute

“artistic talent,” “sports ability,” or “business skill” for

“intelligence.”Tryit.

It’snotonlyyourabilities;it’syourpersonalqualitiestoo.Look

at these statements about personality and character and decide

whetheryoumostlyagreeormostlydisagreewitheachone.

1.Youareacertainkindofperson,andthereisnotmuchthatcan

bedonetoreallychangethat.

2.Nomatterwhatkindofpersonyouare,youcanalwayschange

substantially.

3.Youcandothingsdifferently,buttheimportantpartsofwhoyou

arecan’treallybechanged.

4.Youcanalwayschangebasicthingsaboutthekindofpersonyou

are.

Here, questions 1 and 3 are the fixed-mindset questions and

questions2and4reflectthegrowthmindset.Whichdidyouagree

withmore?

Did it differ from your intelligence mindset? It can. Your

“intelligence mindset” comes into play when situations involve

mentalability.

Your “personality mindset” comes into play in situations that

involve your personal qualities—for example, how dependable,

cooperative,caring,orsociallyskilledyouare.Thefixedmindset

makes you concerned with how you’ll be judged; the growth

mindsetmakesyouconcernedwithimproving.

Herearesomemorewaystothinkaboutmindsets:

• Thinkaboutsomeoneyouknowwhoissteepedinthefixed

mindset.Thinkabouthowthey’realwaystryingtoprove

themselvesandhowthey’resupersensitiveaboutbeingwrong

ormakingmistakes.Didyoueverwonderwhytheywerethis

way?(Areyouthisway?)Nowyoucanbegintounderstand

why.

• Thinkaboutsomeoneyouknowwhoisskilledinthegrowth

mindset—someonewhounderstandsthatimportantqualities

canbecultivated.Thinkaboutthewaystheyconfront

obstacles.Thinkaboutthethingstheydotostretch

themselves.Whataresomewaysyoumightliketochangeor

stretchyourself?

• Okay,nowimagineyou’vedecidedtolearnanewlanguage

andyou’vesignedupforaclass.Afewsessionsintothe

course,theinstructorcallsyoutothefrontoftheroomand

startsthrowingquestionsatyouoneafteranother.

Putyourselfinafixedmindset.Yourabilityisontheline.

Can you feel everyone’s eyes on you? Can you see the

instructor’s face evaluating you? Feel the tension, feel your

ego bristle and waver. What else are you thinking and

feeling?

Nowputyourselfinagrowthmindset.You’reanovice—

that’swhyyou’rehere.You’reheretolearn.Theteacherisa

resource for learning. Feel the tension leave you; feel your

mindopenup.

Themessageis:Youcanchangeyourmindset.

Chapter2

INSIDETHEMINDSETS

WhenIwasayoungwoman,Iwantedaprince-likemate.Veryhandsome,very

successful.Abigcheese.Iwantedaglamorouscareer,butnothingtoohardor

risky.AndIwanteditalltocometomeasvalidationofwhoIwas.

ItwouldbemanyyearsbeforeIwassatisfied.Igotagreatguy,buthewasa

work in progress. I have a great career, but boy, is it a constant challenge.

Nothingwaseasy.SowhyamIsatisfied?Ichangedmymindset.

I changed it because of my work. One day my doctoral student, Mary

Bandura,andIweretryingtounderstandwhysomestudentsweresocaughtup

in proving their ability, while others could just let go and learn. Suddenly we

realized that there were two meanings to ability, not one: a fixed ability that

needs to be proven, and a changeable ability that can be developed through

learning.

That’s how the mindsets were born. I knew instantly which one I had. I

realizedwhyI’d alwaysbeensoconcerned aboutmistakesand failures.AndI

recognizedforthefirsttimethatIhadachoice.

Whenyouenteramindset,youenteranewworld.Inoneworld—theworldof

fixed traits—success is about proving you’re smart or talented. Validating

yourself. In the other—the world of changing qualities—it’s about stretching

yourselftolearnsomethingnew.Developingyourself.

Inoneworld,failureisabouthavingasetback.Gettingabadgrade.Losinga

tournament. Getting fired. Getting rejected. It means you’re not smart or

talented.Inthe other world,failureisabout not growing. Notreachingforthe

thingsyouvalue.Itmeansyou’renotfulfillingyourpotential.

Inoneworld,effortisabadthing.It,likefailure,meansyou’renotsmartor

talented.Ifyouwere,youwouldn’tneedeffort.Intheotherworld,effortiswhat

makesyousmartortalented.

You have a choice. Mindsets are just beliefs. They’re powerful beliefs, but

they’re just something in your mind, and you can change your mind. As you

read,thinkaboutwhereyou’dliketogoandwhichmindsetwilltakeyouthere.

ISSUCCESSABOUTLEARNING—ORPROVINGYOU’RESMART?

Benjamin Barber, an eminent political theorist, once said, “I don’t divide the

worldintotheweakandthestrong,orthesuccessesandthefailures….Idivide

theworldintothelearnersandnonlearners.”

Whatonearthwouldmakesomeoneanonlearner?Everyoneisbornwithan

intensedrive tolearn.Infantsstretchtheirskillsdaily.Notjustordinaryskills,

but the most difficult tasks of a lifetime, like learning to walk and talk. They

never decide it’s too hard or not worth the effort. Babies don’t worry about

making mistakes or humiliating themselves. They walk, they fall, they get up.

Theyjustbargeforward.

Whatcouldputanendtothisexuberantlearning?Thefixedmindset.Assoon

aschildrenbecomeabletoevaluatethemselves,someofthembecomeafraidof

challenges.Theybecomeafraidofnotbeingsmart.Ihavestudiedthousandsof

people from preschoolers on, and it’s breathtaking how many reject an

opportunitytolearn.

Weofferedfour-year-oldsachoice:Theycouldredoaneasyjigsawpuzzleor

they could try a harder one. Even at this tender age, children with the fixed

mindset—theoneswhobelievedinfixedtraits—stuckwiththesafeone.Kids

whoarebornsmart“don’tdomistakes,”theytoldus.

Children with the growth mindset—the ones who believed you could get

smarter—thought it was a strange choice. Why are you asking me this, lady?

Why would anyone want to keep doing the same puzzle over and over? They

choseonehardoneafteranother.“I’mdyingtofigurethemout!”exclaimedone

littlegirl.

So children with the fixed mindset want to make sure they succeed. Smart

peopleshouldalwayssucceed.Butforchildrenwiththegrowthmindset,success

isaboutstretchingthemselves.It’saboutbecomingsmarter.

Oneseventh-gradegirlsummeditup.“Ithinkintelligenceissomethingyou

havetoworkfor…itisn’tjustgiventoyou….Mostkids,ifthey’renotsureofan

answer,willnotraisetheirhandtoanswerthequestion.ButwhatIusuallydois

raisemy hand, because if I’m wrong, then my mistake will be corrected. Or I

willraisemyhandandsay,‘Howwouldthisbesolved?’or‘Idon’tgetthis.Can

youhelpme?’JustbydoingthatI’mincreasingmyintelligence.”

BeyondPuzzles

It’sonethingtopassupapuzzle.It’sanothertopassupanopportunitythat’s

importanttoyourfuture.Toseeifthiswouldhappen,wetookadvantageofan

unusual situation. At the University of Hong Kong, everything is in English.

ClassesareinEnglish,textbooksareinEnglish,andexamsareinEnglish.But

some students who enter the university are not fluent in English, so it would

makesenseforthemtodosomethingaboutitinahurry.

Asstudentsarrivedtoregisterfortheirfreshmanyear,weknewwhichones

werenot skilledin English. And we asked them a key question: If the faculty

offered a course for students who need to improve their English skills, would

youtakeit?

Wealsomeasuredtheirmindset.Wedidthisbyaskingthemhowmuchthey

agreedwithstatementslikethis:“Youhaveacertainamountofintelligence,and

you can’t really do much to change it.” People who agree with this kind of

statementleantowardafixedmindset.

Those who lean toward a growth mindset agree that: “You can always

substantiallychangehowintelligentyouare.”

Later, we looked at who said yes to the English course. Students with the

growthmindsetsaidanemphaticyes.Butthosewiththefixedmindsetwerenot

veryinterested.

Believing that success is about learning, students with the growth mindset

seizedthechance.Butthosewiththefixedmindsetdidn’twanttoexposetheir

deficiencies.Instead,tofeelsmartintheshortrun,theywerewillingtoputtheir

collegecareersatrisk.

Thisishowthefixedmindsetmakespeopleintononlearners.

BrainWavesTelltheStory

You can even see the difference in people’s brain waves. People with both

mindsets came into our brain-wave lab at Columbia. As they answered hard

questions and got feedback, we were curious about when their brain waves

wouldshowthemtobeinterestedandattentive.

Peoplewithafixedmindsetwereonlyinterestedwhenthefeedbackreflected

on their ability. Their brain waves showed them paying close attention when

theyweretoldwhethertheiranswerswererightorwrong.

But when they were presented with information that could help them learn,

therewasno signofinterest.Even whenthey’dgotten ananswerwrong,they

werenotinterestedinlearningwhattherightanswerwas.

Only people with a growth mindset paid close attention to information that

couldstretchtheirknowledge.Onlyforthemwaslearningapriority.

What’sYourPriority?

Ifyouhadtochoose,whichwoulditbe?Loadsofsuccessandvalidationorlots

ofchallenge?

It’s not just on intellectual tasks that people have to make these choices.

People also have to decide what kinds of relationships they want: ones that

bolstertheiregosoronesthatchallengethemtogrow?Whoisyouridealmate?

Weputthisquestiontoyoungadults,andhere’swhattheytoldus.

Peoplewiththefixedmindsetsaidtheidealmatewould:

Putthemonapedestal.

Makethemfeelperfect.

Worshipthem.

In other words, the perfect mate would enshrine their fixed qualities. My

husbandsaysthatheusedtofeelthisway,thathewantedtobethegodofaone-

person(hispartner’s)religion.Fortunately,hechuckedthisideabeforehemet

me.

People with the growth mindset hoped for a different kind of partner. They

saidtheiridealmatewassomeonewhowould:

Seetheirfaultsandhelpthemtoworkonthem.

Challengethemtobecomeabetterperson.

Encouragethemtolearnnewthings.

Certainly, they didn’t want people who would pick on them or undermine

theirself-esteem,buttheydidwantpeoplewhowouldfostertheirdevelopment.

Theydidn’tassumetheywerefullyevolved,flawlessbeingswhohadnothing

moretolearn.

Areyoualready thinking,Uh-oh,what if twopeoplewith differentmindsets

get together? A growth-mindset woman tells about her marriage to a fixed-

mindsetman:

I had barely gotten all the rice out of my hair when I began to

realize I made a big mistake. Every time I said something like

“Why don’t we try to go out a little more?” or “I’d like it if you

consulted me before making decisions,” he was devastated. Then

insteadoftalkingabouttheissueIraised,I’dhavetospendliterally

anhourrepairingthedamageandmakinghimfeelgoodagain.Plus

he would then run to the phone to call his mother, who always

showeredhim withtheconstantadorationhe seemedtoneed.We

were both young and new at marriage. I just wanted to

communicate.

So the husband’s idea of a successful relationship—total, uncritical

acceptance—wasnotthewife’s.Andthewife’sideaofasuccessfulrelationship

—confrontingproblems—wasnotthehusband’s.Oneperson’sgrowthwasthe

otherperson’snightmare.

CEODisease

Speakingofreigningfromatopapedestalandwantingtobeseenasperfect,you

won’tbesurprisedthatthisisoftencalled“CEOdisease.”LeeIacoccahadabad

caseof it.Afterhisinitialsuccessashead ofChryslerMotors,Iacoccalooked

remarkablylikeourfour-year-oldswiththefixedmindset.Hekeptbringingout

thesamecarmodelsoverandoverwithonlysuperficialchanges.Unfortunately,

theyweremodelsnoonewantedanymore.

Meanwhile,Japanesecompanieswerecompletelyrethinkingwhatcarsshould

looklikeandhowtheyshouldrun.Weknowhowthisturnedout.TheJapanese

carsrapidlysweptthemarket.

CEOsfacethischoiceallthetime.Shouldtheyconfronttheirshortcomingsor

shouldtheycreateaworldwheretheyhavenone?LeeIacoccachosethelatter.

He surrounded himself with worshipers, exiled the critics—and quickly lost

touchwithwherehisfieldwasgoing.LeeIacoccahadbecomeanonlearner.

But not everyone catches CEO disease. Many great leaders confront their

shortcomings on a regular basis. Darwin Smith, looking back on his

extraordinaryperformanceatKimberly-Clark,declared,“Ineverstoppedtrying

tobequalified for thejob.”Thesemen, like theHongKongstudentswith the

growthmindset,neverstoppedtakingtheremedialcourse.

CEOsfaceanotherdilemma.Theycanchooseshort-termstrategiesthatboost

thecompany’sstockandmake themselves look like heroes.Ortheycanwork

for long-term improvement—risking Wall Street’s disapproval as they lay the

foundationforthehealthandgrowthofthecompanyoverthelongerhaul.

Albert Dunlap, a self-professed fixed mindsetter, was brought in to turn

aroundSunbeam.Hechosetheshort-termstrategyoflookinglikeaherotoWall

Street.Thestocksoaredbutthecompanyfellapart.

Lou Gerstner, an avowed growth mindsetter, was called in to turn around

IBM. As he set about the enormous task of overhauling IBM culture and

policies,stockpriceswerestagnantandWallStreetsneered.Theycalledhima

failure.Afewyearslater,however,IBMwasleadingitsfieldagain.

Stretching

People in a growth mindset don’t just seek challenge, they thrive on it. The

bigger the challenge, the more they stretch. And nowhere can it be seen more

clearlythanintheworldofsports.Youcanjustwatchpeoplestretchandgrow.

MiaHamm,thegreatestfemalesoccerstarofhertime,saysitstraightout.“

AllmylifeI’vebeenplayingup,meaningI’vechallengedmyselfwithplayers

older,bigger,more skillful,moreexperienced—in short,betterthanme.” First

she played with her older brother. Then at ten, she joined the eleven-year-old

boys’ team. Then she threw herself into the number one college team in the

United States. “Each day I attempted to play up to their level…and I was

improvingfasterthanIeverdreamedpossible.”

Patricia Miranda was a chubby, unathletic high school kid who wanted to

wrestle.Afterabadbeatingonthemat,shewastold,“You’reajoke.”Firstshe

cried,thenshefelt:“Thatreallysetmyresolve…Ihadtokeepgoingandhadto

knowifeffortandfocusandbeliefandtrainingcouldsomehowlegitimizemeas

awrestler.”Wheredidshegetthisresolve?

Mirandawasraisedinalifedevoidofchallenge.Butwhenhermotherdiedof

ananeurysmatageforty,ten-year-oldMirandacameupwithaprinciple.“When

you’relyingonyourdeathbed,oneofthecoolthingstosayis,‘Ireallyexplored

myself.’Thissenseofurgencywasinstilledwhenmymomdied.Ifyouonlygo

throughlifedoingstuffthat’seasy,shameonyou.”Sowhenwrestlingpresented

achallenge,shewasreadytotakeiton.

Her effort paid off. At twenty-four, Miranda was having the last laugh. She

won the spot for her weight group on the U.S. Olympic team and came home

fromAthenswithabronzemedal.Andwhatwasnext?YaleLawSchool.People

urged her to stay where she was already on top, but Miranda felt it was more

excitingtostartatthebottomagainandseewhatshecouldgrowintothistime.

StretchingBeyondthePossible

Sometimespeoplewiththegrowthmindsetstretchthemselvessofarthattheydo

theimpossible.In1995,ChristopherReeve,theactor,wasthrownfromahorse.

His neck was broken, his spinal cord was severed from his brain, and he was

completelyparalyzedbelowtheneck.Medicalsciencesaid,Sosorry.Cometo

termswithit.

Reeve,however,startedademandingexerciseprogramthatinvolvedmoving

all parts of his paralyzed body with the help of electrical stimulation. Why

couldn’t he learn to move again? Why couldn’t his brain once again give

commandsthathisbodywouldobey?Doctorswarnedthathewasindenialand

wassettinghimselfupfordisappointment.Theyhadseenthisbeforeanditwas

abad signforhisadjustment.But, really,what elsewasReevedoingwith his

time?Wasthereabetterproject?

Five years later, Reeve started to regain movement. First it happened in his

hands,thenhisarms,thenlegs,andthentorso.Hewasfarfromcured,butbrain

scansshowedthathisbrainwasoncemoresendingsignalstohisbodythatthe

bodywasrespondingto.NotonlydidReevestretchhisabilities,hechangedthe

entire way science thinks about the nervous system and its potential for

recovery. In doing so, he opened a whole new vista for research and a whole

newavenueofhopeforpeoplewithspinalcordinjuries.

ThrivingontheSureThing

Clearly, people with the growth mindset thrive when they’re stretching

themselves. When do people with the fixed mindset thrive? When things are

safelywithintheirgrasp.Ifthingsgettoochallenging—whenthey’renotfeeling

smartortalented—theyloseinterest.

I watched it happen as we followed pre-med students through their first

semesterofchemistry.Formanystudents,thisiswhattheirliveshaveledupto:

becomingadoctor.Andthisisthecoursethatdecideswhogetstobeone.It’s

one heck of a hard course, too. The average grade on each exam is C+, for

studentswho’verarelyseenanythinglessthananA.

Moststudentsstartedoutprettyinterestedinchemistry.Yetoverthesemester,

something happened. Students with the fixed mindset stayed interested only

whentheydidwellrightaway.Thosewhofounditdifficultshowedabigdropin

theirinterest andenjoyment.If itwasn’ta testimonytotheir intelligence,they

couldn’tenjoyit.

“Theharderitgets,”reportedonestudent,“themoreIhavetoforcemyselfto

readthebookandstudyforthetests.Iwasexcitedaboutchemistrybefore,but

noweverytimeIthinkaboutit,Igetabadfeelinginmystomach.”

Incontrast,studentswiththegrowthmindsetcontinuedtoshowthesamehigh

level of interest even when they found the work very challenging. “It’s a lot

moredifficultformethanIthoughtitwouldbe,butit’swhatIwanttodo,so

thatonlymakesmemoredetermined.WhentheytellmeIcan’t,itreallygetsme

going.”Challengeandinterestwenthandinhand.

Wesawthesamethinginyoungerstudents.Wegavefifthgradersintriguing

puzzles,whichtheyallloved.Butwhenwemadethemharder,childrenwiththe

fixedmindsetshowedabigplungeinenjoyment.Theyalsochangedtheirminds

about taking some home to practice. “It’s okay, you can keep them. I already

havethem,”fibbedonechild.Infact,theycouldn’trunfromthemfastenough.

Thiswasjustastrueforchildrenwhowerethebestpuzzle solvers. Having

“puzzletalent”didnotpreventthedecline.

Childrenwiththegrowthmindset,ontheotherhand,couldn’ttearthemselves

awayfromthehardproblems.Theseweretheirfavoritesandtheseweretheones

theywantedtotakehome.“Couldyouwritedownthenameofthesepuzzles,”

onechildasked,“somymomcanbuymesomemorewhentheseonesrunout?”

Not long ago I was interested to read about Marina Semyonova, a great

Russiandancerandteacher,whodevisedanovelwayofselectingherstudents.

Itwasaclevertestformindset.Asaformerstudenttellsit,“Herstudentsfirst

havetosurviveatrialperiodwhileshewatchestoseehowyoureacttopraise

andtocorrection.Thosemoreresponsivetothecorrectionaredeemedworthy.”

Inotherwords,sheseparatestheoneswhogettheirthrillfromwhat’seasy—

what they’ve already mastered—from those who get their thrill from what’s

hard.

I’llneverforgetthefirsttimeIheardmyselfsay,“Thisishard.Thisisfun.”

That’sthemomentIknewIwaschangingmindsets.

WhenDoYouFeelSmart:WhenYou’reFlawlessorWhenYou’reLearning?

The plot is about to thicken, for in the fixed mindset it’s not enough just to

succeed.It’snotenoughjusttolooksmartandtalented.Youhavetobepretty

muchflawless.Andyouhavetobeflawlessrightaway.

We asked people, ranging from grade schoolers to young adults, “When do

you feel smart?” The differences were striking. People with the fixed mindset

said:

“It’swhenIdon’tmakeanymistakes.”

“WhenIfinishsomethingfastandit’sperfect.”

“Whensomethingiseasyforme,butotherpeoplecan’tdoit.”

It’saboutbeingperfectrightnow.Butpeoplewiththegrowthmindsetsaid:

“Whenit’sreallyhard,andItryreallyhard,andIcandosomethingIcouldn’t

dobefore.”

Or“[When]IworkonsomethingalongtimeandIstarttofigureitout.”

For them it’s not about immediate perfection. It’s about learning something

overtime:confrontingachallengeandmakingprogress.

IfYouHaveAbility,WhyShouldYouNeedLearning?

Actually, people with the fixed mindset expect ability to show up on its own,

beforeanylearningtakesplace.Afterall,ifyouhaveityouhaveit,andifyou

don’tyoudon’t.Iseethisallthetime.

Outofalltheapplicantsfromallovertheworld,mydepartmentatColumbia

admitted six new graduate students a year. They all had amazing test scores,

nearly perfect grades, and rave recommendations from eminent scholars.

Moreover,they’dbeencourtedbythetopgradschools.

Ittookonedayforsomeofthemtofeellikecompleteimposters.Yesterday

theywerehotshots;todaythey’refailures.Here’swhathappens.Theylookatthe

facultywithourlong list of publications. “Oh my God, I can’t do that.” They

look at the advanced students who are submitting articles for publication and

writinggrantproposals.“OhmyGod,Ican’tdothat.”Theyknowhowtotake

testsandgetA’sbuttheydon’tknowhowtodothis—yet.Theyforgettheyet.

Isn’tthatwhatschoolisfor,toteach?They’retheretolearnhowtodothese

things,notbecausetheyalreadyknoweverything.

I wonder if this is what happened to Janet Cooke and Stephen Glass. They

were both young reporters who skyrocketed to the top—on fabricated articles.

Janet Cooke won a Pulitzer Prize for her Washington Post articles about an

eight-year-oldboy whowasa drugaddict.The boydidnot exist,andshe was

laterstrippedofherprize.StephenGlasswasthewhizkidofTheNewRepublic,

whoseemedtohavestoriesandsourcesreportersonlydreamof.Thesourcesdid

notexistandthestorieswerenottrue.

DidJanetCookeandStephenGlassneedtobeperfectrightaway?Didthey

feel that admitting ignorance would discredit them with their colleagues? Did

theyfeeltheyshouldalreadybelikethebig-timereportersbeforetheydidthe

hardworkoflearninghow?“Wewerestars—precociousstars,”wroteStephen

Glass,“andthatwaswhatmattered.”Thepublicunderstandsthemascheats,and

cheat they did. But I understand them as talented young people—desperate

youngpeople—whosuccumbedtothepressuresofthefixedmindset.

Therewasasayinginthe1960sthatwent:“Becomingisbetterthanbeing.”

Thefixedmindsetdoesnotallowpeopletheluxuryofbecoming.Theyhaveto

alreadybe.

ATestScoreIsForever

Let’stakeacloserlookatwhy,inthefixedmindset,it’ssocrucialtobeperfect

rightnow.It’sbecauseonetest—oroneevaluation—canmeasureyouforever.

Twenty years ago, at the age of five, Loretta and her family came to the

UnitedStates.Afewdayslater,hermothertookhertohernewschool,where

they promptly gave her a test. The next thing she knew, she was in her

kindergartenclass—butitwasnottheEagles,theelitekindergartenclass.

As time passed, however, Loretta was transferred to the Eagles and she

remained with that group of students until the end of high school, garnering a

bundleofacademicprizesalongtheway.Yetsheneverfeltshebelonged.

Thatfirsttest,shewasconvinced,diagnosedherfixedabilityandsaidthatshe

wasnotatrueEagle.Nevermindthatshehadbeenfiveyearsoldandhadjust

madearadicalchangetoanewcountry.Orthatmaybetherehadn’tbeenroom

intheEaglesforawhile.Orthatmaybetheschooldecidedshewouldhavean

easiertransitioninamorelow-keyclass.Therearesomanywaystounderstand

whathappenedandwhatitmeant.Unfortunately,shechosethewrongone.For

intheworldofthefixedmindset, there is no way to become an Eagle.Ifyou

wereatrueEagle,youwouldhaveacedthetestandbeenhailedasanEagleat

once.

Is Loretta a rare case, or is this kind of thinking more common than we

realize?

Tofindout,weshowedfifthgradersaclosedcardboardboxandtoldthemit

hadatest inside.Thistest,we said,measuredan importantschoolability.We

toldthemnothingmore.Thenweaskedthemquestionsaboutthetest.First,we

wanted to make sure that they’d accepted our description, so we asked them:

Howmuchdo youthinkthistest measuresanimportant schoolability?All of

themhadtakenourwordforit.

Nextweasked:Doyouthinkthistestmeasureshowsmartyouare?And:Do

youthinkthistestmeasureshowsmartyou’llbewhenyougrowup?

Studentswiththegrowthmindsethadtakenourwordthatthetestmeasured

animportantability,buttheydidn’tthinkitmeasuredhowsmarttheywere.And

they certainly didn’t think it would tell them how smart they’d be when they

grewup.Infact,oneofthemtoldus,“Noway!Ain’tnotestcandothat.”

But the students with the fixed mindset didn’t simply believe the test could

measureanimportantability.Theyalsobelieved—justasstrongly—thatitcould

measurehowsmarttheywere.Andhowsmartthey’dbewhentheygrewup.

Theygrantedonetestthepowertomeasuretheirmostbasicintelligencenow

and forever. They gave this test the power to define them. That’s why every

successissoimportant.

AnotherLookatPotential

Thisleadsusbacktotheideaof“potential”andtothequestionofwhethertests

or experts can tell us what our potential is, what we’re capable of, what our

future will be. The fixed mindset says yes. You can simply measure the fixed

abilityrightnowandprojectitintothefuture.Justgivethetestorasktheexpert.

Nocrystalballneeded.

SocommonisthebeliefthatpotentialcanbeknownrightnowthatJosephP.

KennedyfeltconfidentintellingMortonDowneyJr.thathewouldbeafailure.

What had Downey—later a famous television personality and author—done?

Why,hehadwornredsocksandbrownshoestotheStorkClub,afancyNew

Yorknightclub.

“Morton,”Kennedytoldhim,“Idon’tknowanybodyI’veevermetinmylife

wearingredsocksandbrownshoeswhoeversucceeded.Youngman,letmetell

younow,youdostandout,butyoudon’tstandoutinawaythatpeoplewillever

admireyou.”

Manyofthemostaccomplishedpeopleofourerawereconsideredbyexperts

tohave nofuture.Jackson Pollock,MarcelProust,ElvisPresley, RayCharles,

LucilleBall,andCharlesDarwinwereallthoughttohavelittlepotentialfortheir

chosenfields.Andinsomeofthesecases,itmaywellhavebeentruethatthey

didnotstandoutfromthecrowdearlyon.

Butisn’t potentialsomeone’s capacityto developtheirskillswitheffortand

coachingovertime?Andthat’sjustthepoint.Howcanweknowwhereeffort,

coaching, and time will take someone? Who knows—maybe the experts were

rightaboutJackson,Marcel,Elvis,Ray,Lucille,andCharles—intermsoftheir

skillsatthetime.Maybetheywerenotyetthepeopletheyweretobecome.

IoncewenttoanexhibitinLondonofPaulCézanne’searlypaintings.Onmy

waythere,IwonderedwhoCézannewasandwhathispaintingswerelikebefore

hewasthepainterweknowtoday.IwasintenselycuriousbecauseCézanneis

oneofmyfavoriteartistsandthemanwhosetthestageformuchofmodernart.

Here’s what I found: Some of the paintings were pretty bad. They were

overwroughtscenes,someviolent,withamateurishlypaintedpeople.Although

thereweresome paintingsthatforeshadowed the laterCézanne,many didnot.

Was the early Cézanne not talented? Or did it just take time for Cézanne to

becomeCézanne?

Peoplewiththegrowthmindsetknowthatittakestimeforpotentialtoflower.

Recently,Igotanangryletterfromateacherwhohadtakenoneofoursurveys.

Thesurveyportraysahypotheticalstudent,Jennifer,whohadgotten65percent

onamathexam.Itthenasksteacherstotellushowtheywouldtreather.

Teachers with the fixed mindset were more than happy to answer our

questions.TheyfeltthatbyknowingJennifer’sscore,theyhadagoodsenseof

who she was and what she was capable of. Their recommendations abounded.

Mr.Riordan,bycontrast,wasfuming.Here’swhathewrote.

ToWhomItMayConcern:

Havingcompletedtheeducator’sportionofyourrecentsurvey,I

mustrequestthatmyresultsbeexcludedfromthestudy.Ifeelthat

thestudyitselfisscientificallyunsound….

Unfortunately,thetestusesafaultypremise,askingteachersto

makeassumptionsaboutagivenstudentbasedonnothingmore

thananumberonapage….Performancecannotbebasedonone

assessment.Youcannotdeterminetheslopeofalinegivenonly

onepoint,asthereisnolinetobeginwith.Asinglepointintime

doesnotshowtrends,improvement,lackofeffort,ormathematical

ability….

Sincerely,

MichaelD.Riordan

IwasdelightedwithMr.Riordan’scritiqueandcouldn’thaveagreedwithit

more. An assessment at one point in time has little value for understanding

someone’sability,letalonetheirpotentialtosucceedinthefuture.

Itwasdisturbinghowmanyteachersthoughtotherwise,andthatwasthepoint

ofourstudy.

The idea that one evaluation can measure you forever is what creates the

urgency for those with the fixed mindset. That’s why they must succeed

perfectlyand immediately. Who can afford the luxury of trying to grow when

everythingisonthelinerightnow?

Isthereanotherwaytojudgepotential?NASAthoughtso.Whentheywere

solicitingapplicationsforastronauts,theyrejectedpeoplewithpurehistoriesof

success and instead selected people who had had significant failures and

bouncedbackfromthem.JackWelch,thecelebratedCEOofGeneralElectric,

chose executives on the basis of “runway,” their capacity for growth. And

rememberMarinaSemyonova,thefamedballetteacher,whochosethestudents

whowereenergizedbycriticism.Theywereallrejectingtheideaoffixedability

andselectinginsteadformindset.

ProvingYou’reSpecial

Whenpeoplewiththefixedmindsetoptforsuccessovergrowth,whatarethey

reallytryingtoprove?Thatthey’respecial.Evensuperior.

When we asked them, “When do you feel smart?” so many of them talked

abouttimestheyfeltlikeaspecialperson,someonewhowasdifferentfromand

betterthanotherpeople.

UntilIdiscoveredthemindsetsandhowtheywork,I,too,thoughtofmyself

as more talented than others, maybe even more worthy than others because of

my endowments. The scariest thought, which I rarely entertained, was the

possibility of being ordinary. This kind of thinking led me to need constant

validation. Every comment, every look was meaningful—it registered on my

intelligencescorecard,myattractivenessscorecard,mylikabilityscorecard.Ifa

daywentwell,Icouldbaskinmyhighnumbers.

One bitter cold winter night, I went to the opera. That night, the opera was

everything you hope for, and everyone stayed until the very end—not just the

endoftheopera,butthroughallthecurtaincalls.Then weallpouredintothe

street,andweallwantedtaxis.Irememberitclearly. It was after midnight, it

was seven degrees, there was a strong wind, and, as time went on, I became

moreandmoremiserable.ThereIwas,partofanundifferentiatedcrowd.What

chancedidIhave?Suddenly,ataxipulleduprightnexttome.Thehandleofthe

back door lined up perfectly with my hand, and as I entered, the driver

announced, “You were different.” I lived for these moments. Not only was I

special.Itcouldbedetectedfromadistance.

The self-esteem movement encourages this kind of thinking and has even

inventeddevicestohelpyouconfirmyoursuperiority.Irecentlycameacrossan

adforsuchaproduct.Twoofmyfriendssendmeanillustratedlisteachyearof

the top ten things they didn’t get me for Christmas. From January through

November,theyclipcandidateitemsfromcatalogsordownloadthemfromthe

Internet.In December,theyselectthewinners.Oneof myall-timefavoritesis

thepockettoilet,whichyoufoldupandreturntoyourpocketafterusing.This

year my favorite was the I LOVE ME mirror, a mirror with I LOVE ME in huge

capital letters written across the bottom half. By looking into it, you can

administer the message to yourself and not wait for the outside world to

announceyourspecialness.

Ofcourse,themirrorisharmlessenough.Theproblemiswhenspecialbegins

to mean better than others. A more valuable human being. A superior person.

Anentitledperson.

Special,Superior,Entitled

JohnMcEnroehadafixedmindset:Hebelievedthattalentwasall.Hedidnot

love to learn. He did not thrive on challenges; when the going got rough, he

oftenfolded.Asaresult,byhisownadmission,hedidnotfulfillhispotential.

But his talent was so great that he was the number one tennis player in the

worldforfouryears.Herehetellsuswhatitwasliketobenumberone.

McEnroeusedsawdusttoabsorbthesweatonhishandsduringamatch.This

timethesawdustwasnottohisliking,sohewentovertothecanofsawdustand

knockeditoverwithhisracket.Hisagent,Gary,camedashingovertofindout

whatwaswrong.

“You call that sawdust?” I said. I was actually screaming at him:

Thesawdustwasgroundtoofine!“Thislookslikeratpoison.Can’t

yougetanythingright?”SoGaryranoutand,twentyminuteslater,

camebackwithafreshcanofcoarsersawdust…andtwentydollars

lessinhispocket:He’dhadtopayaunionemployeetogrindupa

two-by-four.Thisiswhatitwasliketobenumberone.

HegoesontotellusabouthowheoncethrewupalloveradignifiedJapanese

lady who was hosting him. The next day she bowed, apologized to him, and

presentedhimwithagift.“This,”McEnroeproclaims,“isalsowhatitwaslike

tobenumberone.”

“Everythingwasaboutyou…‘Didyougeteverythingyouneed?Iseverything

okay?We’llpayyouthis,we’lldothat,we’llkissyourbehind.’Youonlyhave

todowhatyouwant;yourreactiontoanythingelseis,‘Getthehelloutofhere.’

ForalongtimeIdidn’tminditabit.Wouldyou?”

Solet’ssee.Ifyou’resuccessful,you’rebetterthanotherpeople.Yougetto

abusethemandhavethemgrovel.Inthefixedmindset,thisiswhatcanpassfor

self-esteem.

As a contrast, let’s look at Michael Jordan—growth-minded athlete par

excellence—whosegreatnessisregularlyproclaimedbytheworld:“Superman,”

“God in person,” “Jesus in tennis shoes.” If anyone has reason to think of

himselfasspecial,it’she.Buthere’swhathesaidwhenhisreturntobasketball

caused a huge commotion: “ I was shocked with the level of intensity my

coming back to the game created….People were praising me like I was a

religiouscultorsomething.Thatwasveryembarrassing.I’mahumanbeinglike

everyoneelse.”

Jordan knew how hard he had worked to develop his abilities. He was a

person who had struggled and grown, not a person who was inherently better

thanothers.

TomWolfe,inTheRightStuff,describestheelitemilitarypilotswhoeagerly

embracethefixedmindset.Havingpassedonerigoroustestafteranother,they

thinkofthemselvesasspecial,aspeoplewhowerebornsmarterandbraverthan

otherpeople.ButChuckYeager,theheroofTheRightStuff,beggedtodiffer.“

Thereisnosuchthingasanatural-bornpilot.Whatevermyaptitudeortalents,

becoming a proficient pilot was hard work, really a lifetime’s learning

experience….The best pilots fly more than the others; that’s why they’re the

best.” Like Michael Jordan, he was a human being. He just stretched himself

fartherthanmost.

In short, people who believe in fixed traits feel an urgency to succeed, and

when they do, they may feel more than pride. They may feel a sense of

superiority, since success means that their fixed traits are better than other

people’s.

However, lurking behind that self-esteem of the fixed mindset is a simple

question:Ifyou’resomebodywhenyou’resuccessful,whatareyouwhenyou’re

unsuccessful?

MINDSETSCHANGETHEMEANINGOFFAILURE

TheMartinsworshipedtheirthree-year-oldRobertandalwaysbraggedabouthis

feats.Therehadneverbeenachildasbrightandcreativeastheirs.ThenRobert

did something unforgivable—he didn’t get into the number one preschool in

New York. After that, the Martins cooled toward him. They didn’t talk about

himthesameway,andtheydidn’ttreathimwiththesameprideandaffection.

He was no longer their brilliant little Robert. He was someone who had

discredited himself and shamed them. At the tender age of three, he was a

failure.

AsaNewYorkTimesarticlepointsout,failurehasbeentransformedfroman

action(Ifailed)toanidentity(Iamafailure).Thisisespeciallytrueinthefixed

mindset.

When I was a child, I, too, worried about meeting Robert’s fate. In sixth

grade,Iwasthebestspellerinmyschool.Theprincipalwantedmetogotoa

citywidecompetition,butIrefused.Inninthgrade,IexcelledinFrench,andmy

teacherwantedmetoenteracitywidecompetition.Again,Irefused.Whywould

Iriskturningfromasuccessintoafailure?Fromawinnerintoaloser?

Ernie Els, the great golfer, worried about this too. Els finally won a major

tournamentafterafive-yeardryspell,inwhichmatchaftermatchslippedaway

from him. What if he had lost this tournament, too? “ I would have been a

differentperson,”hetellsus.Hewouldhavebeenaloser.

Each April when the skinny envelopes—the rejection letters—arrive from

colleges, countless failures are created coast to coast. Thousands of brilliant

youngscholarsbecome“TheGirlWhoDidn’tGetintoPrinceton”orthe“The

BoyWhoDidn’tGetintoStanford.”

DefiningMoments

Eveninthegrowthmindset,failurecanbeapainfulexperience.Butitdoesn’t

defineyou.It’saproblemtobefaced,dealtwith,andlearnedfrom.

JimMarshall,formerdefensiveplayerfortheMinnesotaVikings,relateswhat

couldeasilyhavemadehimintoafailure.InagameagainsttheSanFrancisco

49ers,Marshallspottedthefootballontheground.Hescoopeditupandranfor

atouchdownasthecrowdcheered.Butheranthewrongway.Hescoredforthe

wrongteamandonnationaltelevision.

Itwasthemostdevastatingmomentofhislife.Theshamewasoverpowering.

But during halftime, he thought, “If you make a mistake, you got to make it

right.IrealizedIhadachoice.IcouldsitinmymiseryorIcoulddosomething

aboutit.”Pullinghimselftogetherforthesecondhalf,heplayedsomeofhisbest

footballeverandcontributedtohisteam’svictory.

Nordidhestopthere.Hespoketogroups.Heansweredlettersthatpouredin

from people who finally had the courage to admit their own shameful

experiences. He heightened his concentration during games. Instead of letting

theexperiencedefinehim,hetookcontrolofit.Heused itto becomea better

playerand,hebelieves,abetterperson.

In the fixed mindset, however, the loss of one’s self to failure can be a

permanent, haunting trauma. Bernard Loiseau was one of the top chefs in the

world.OnlyahandfulofrestaurantsinallofFrancereceivethesupremerating

of three stars from the Guide Michelin, the most respected restaurant guide in

Europe. His was one of them. Around the publication of the 2003 Guide

Michelin, however, Mr. Loiseau committed suicide. He had lost two points in

another guide, going from a nineteen (out of twenty) to a seventeen in the

GaultMillau.Andtherewererampantrumorsthathewouldloseoneofhisthree

starsinthe new Guide.Althoughhedid not, the ideaoffailure had possessed

him.

Loiseauhadbeenapioneer.Hewasoneofthefirsttoadvancethe“nouvelle

cuisine,”tradingthe traditional butterandcreamsauces of French cookingfor

the brighter flavors of the foods themselves. A man of tremendous energy, he

wasalsoanentrepreneur.Besideshisthree-starrestaurantinBurgundy,hehad

createdthreeeateriesinParis,numerouscookbooks,andalineoffrozenfoods.

“I’m like Yves Saint Laurent,” he told people. “I do both haute couture and

ready-to-wear.”

Amanofsuchtalentandoriginalitycouldeasilyhaveplannedforasatisfying

future,withorwithoutthetwopointsorthethirdstar.Infact,thedirectorofthe

GaultMillausaiditwasunimaginablethattheirratingcouldhavetakenhislife.

But in the fixed mindset, it is imaginable. Their lower rating gave him a new

definitionofhimself:Failure.Has-been.

It’sstrikingwhatcountsasfailureinthefixedmindset.So,onalighternote…

MySuccessIsYourFailure

Last summer my husband and I went to a dude ranch, something very novel

sinceneitherofushadevermadecontactwithahorse.Oneday,wesignedup

foralessoninflyfishing.Itwastaughtbyawonderfuleighty-year-oldcowboy-

typefishermanwhoshowedushowtocastthefishingline,andthenturnedus

loose.

Wesoonrealizedthathehadnottaughtushowtorecognizewhenthetroutbit

thelure(theydon’ttugontheline;youhavetowatchforabubbleinthewater),

whattodowhenthetroutbitthelure(tugupward),orhowtoreelthetroutinif

bysomemiraclewegotthatfar(pullthefishalongthewater;donothoistitinto

theair).Well,timepassed,themosquitoesbit,butnotsothetrout.Noneofthe

dozenorsoofusmadetheslightestprogress.Suddenly,Ihitthejackpot.Some

carelesstroutbithardonmylureandthefisherman,whohappenedtoberight

there,talkedmethroughtherest.Ihadmearainbowtrout.

Reaction#1:Myhusband,David,camerunningoverbeamingwithprideand

saying,“Lifewithyouissoexciting!”

Reaction#2:Thateveningwhenwecameintothediningroomfordinner,two

men came up to my husband and said, “David, how’re you coping?” David

lookedatthemblankly;hehadnoideawhattheyweretalkingabout.Ofcourse

hedidn’t.Hewastheonewhothoughtmycatchingthefishwasexciting.ButI

knewexactlywhattheymeant.Theyhadexpectedhimtofeeldiminished,and

theywenton tomakeitclear thatthat’sexactly whatmysuccesshad done to

them.

Shirk,Cheat,Blame:NotaRecipeforSuccess

Beyondhowtraumaticasetbackcanbeinthefixedmindset,thismindsetgives

younogoodrecipeforovercomingit.Iffailuremeansyoulackcompetenceor

potential—thatyouareafailure—wheredoyougofromthere?

Inonestudy,seventhgraderstoldushowtheywouldrespondtoanacademic

failure—apoortestgradeinanewcourse.Thosewiththegrowthmindset,no

bigsurprise,saidtheywouldstudy harderfor thenext test.But thosewith the

fixedmindsetsaidtheywouldstudylessforthenexttest.Ifyoudon’thavethe

ability, why waste your time? And, they said, they would seriously consider

cheating!If youdon’thave theability,they thought,youjust havetolook for

anotherway.

What’smore,insteadoftryingtolearnfromandrepairtheirfailures,people

withthefixedmindsetmaysimplytrytorepairtheirself-esteem.Forexample,

theymaygolookingforpeoplewhoareevenworseoffthantheyare.

Collegestudents,afterdoingpoorlyonatest,weregivenachancetolookat

testsofotherstudents.Thoseinthegrowthmindsetlookedatthetestsofpeople

who had done far better than they had. As usual, they wanted to correct their

deficiency.Butstudentsinthefixedmindsetchosetolookatthetestsofpeople

who had done really poorly. That was their way of feeling better about

themselves.

JimCollinstellsinGoodtoGreatofasimilarthinginthecorporateworld.As

Procter & Gamble surged into the paper goods business, Scott Paper—which

wasthentheleader—justgaveup.Insteadofmobilizingthemselvesandputting

upafight,theysaid,“Oh,well…atleasttherearepeopleinthebusinessworse

offthanweare.”

Anotherwaypeoplewiththefixedmindsettrytorepairtheirself-esteemafter

afailureisbyassigningblameormakingexcuses.Let’sreturntoJohnMcEnroe.

Itwasneverhisfault.Onetimehelostamatchbecausehehadafever.One

timehehadabackache.Onetimehefellvictimtoexpectations,anothertimeto

thetabloids.Onetimehelosttoafriendbecausethefriendwasinloveandhe

wasn’t. One time he ate too close to the match. One time he was too chunky,

anothertimetoothin.Onetimeitwastoocold,anothertimetoohot.Onetime

hewasundertrained,anothertimeovertrained.

Hismostagonizing loss, andtheonethat still keepshimup nights, was his

lossinthe1984FrenchOpen.WhydidheloseafterleadingIvanLendltwosets

to none? According to McEnroe, it wasn’t his fault. An NBC cameraman had

takenoffhisheadsetandanoisestartedcomingfromthesideofthecourt.

Not his fault. So he didn’t train to improve his ability to concentrate or his

emotionalcontrol.

JohnWooden,thelegendarybasketballcoach,saysyouaren’tafailureuntil

you start to blame. What he means is that you can still be in the process of

learningfromyourmistakesuntilyoudenythem.

When Enron, the energy giant, failed—toppled by a culture of arrogance—

whose fault was it? Not mine, insisted Jeffrey Skilling, the CEO and resident

genius.It wastheworld’sfault.Theworlddid notappreciatewhatEnronwas

trying to do. What about the Justice Department’s investigation into massive

corporatedeception?A“witchhunt.”

JackWelch,thegrowth-mindedCEO,hadacompletelydifferentreactionto

one of General Electric’s fiascos. In 1986, General Electric bought Kidder,

Peabody, a Wall Street investment banking firm. Soon after the deal closed,

Kidder,Peabodywashitwithabiginsidertradingscandal.A few years later,

calamitystruckagainintheformofJosephJett,atraderwhomadeabunchof

fictitious trades, to the tune of hundreds of millions, to pump up his bonus.

WelchphonedfourteenofhistopGEcolleaguestotellthemthebadnewsandto

apologizepersonally.“Iblamedmyselfforthedisaster,”Welchsaid.

MindsetandDepression

MaybeBernardLoiseau,theFrenchchef,wasjustdepressed.Wereyouthinking

that?

As a psychologist and an educator, I am vitally interested in depression. It

runswildoncollegecampuses,especiallyinFebruaryandMarch.Thewinteris

not over, the summer is not in sight, work has piled up, and relationships are

often frayed. Yet it’s been clear to me for a long time that different students

handle depression in dramatically different ways. Some let everything slide.

Others,thoughfeelingwretched,hangon.Theydragthemselvestoclass,keep

upwiththeirwork,andtakecareofthemselves—sothatwhentheyfeelbetter,

theirlivesareintact.

Not long ago, we decided to see whether mindsets play a role in this

difference.Tofindout,wemeasuredstudents’mindsetsandthenhadthemkeep

an online “diary” for three weeks in February and March. Every day they

answeredquestionsabouttheirmood,theiractivities,andhowtheywerecoping

withproblems.Here’swhatwediscovered.

First,thestudentswiththefixedmindsethadhigherlevelsofdepression.Our

analysesshowedthatthiswasbecausetheyruminatedovertheirproblemsand

setbacks,essentiallytormentingthemselveswiththeideathatthesetbacksmeant

theywereincompetentorunworthy:“Itjustkeptcirculatinginmyhead:You’re

adope.”“Ijustcouldn’tletgoofthethoughtthatthismademelessofaman.”

Again,failureslabeledthemandleftthemnoroutetosuccess.

Andthemoredepressedthey felt, the moretheyletthingsgo; the less they

took action to solve their problems. For example, they didn’t study what they

neededto,theydidn’thandintheirassignmentsontime,andtheydidn’tkeepup

withtheirchores.

Althoughstudentswiththefixedmindsetshowedmoredepression,therewere

still plenty of people with the growth mindset who felt pretty miserable, this

beingpeakseasonfordepression.Andherewesawsomethingreallyamazing.

The more depressed people with the growth mindset felt (short of severe

depression),themoretheytookactiontoconfronttheirproblems,themorethey

made sure to keep up with their schoolwork, and the more they kept up with

theirlives.Theworsetheyfelt,themoredeterminedtheybecame!

In fact, from the way they acted, it might have been hard to know how

despondenttheywere.Hereisastoryayoungmantoldme.

I was a freshman and it was the first time I had been away from

home.Everyonewasastranger,thecourseswerehard,andasthe

yearworeonIfeltmoreandmoredepressed.Eventually,itreached

a point where I could hardly get out of bed in the morning. But

everydayIforcedmyselftogetup,shower,shave,anddowhatever

itwasIneededtodo.OnedayIreallyhitalowpointandIdecided

toaskforhelp,soIwenttotheteachingassistantinmypsychology

courseandaskedforheradvice.

“Areyougoingtoyourclasses?”sheasked.

“Yes,”Ireplied.

“Areyoukeepingupwithyourreading?”

“Yes.”

“Areyoudoingokayonyourexams?”

“Yes.”

“Well,”sheinformedme,“thenyou’renotdepressed.”

Yes, he was depressed, but he was coping the way people in the growth

mindsettendtocope—withdetermination.

Doesn’ttemperamenthavealottodowithit?Aren’tsomepeoplesensitiveby

nature,whileothersjust letthings roll off their backs? Temperament certainly

plays a role, but mindset is an important part of the story. When we taught

people the growth mindset, it changed the way they reactedto their depressed

mood.Theworsetheyfelt,themoremotivatedtheybecameandthemorethey

confrontedtheproblemsthatfacedthem.

In short, when people believe in fixed traits, they are always in danger of

beingmeasuredby a failure. Itcandefinethem in apermanentway.Smart or

talented as they may be, this mindset seems to rob them of their coping

resources.

Whenpeoplebelievetheirbasicqualitiescanbedeveloped,failuresmaystill

hurt,butfailuresdon’tdefinethem.Andifabilitiescanbeexpanded—ifchange

andgrowtharepossible—thentherearestillmanypathstosuccess.

MINDSETSCHANGETHEMEANINGOFEFFORT

Aschildren,weweregivenachoicebetweenthetalentedbuterratichareandthe

ploddingbutsteadytortoise.Thelessonwassupposedtobethatslowandsteady

winstherace.But,really,didanyofuseverwanttobethetortoise?

No, we just wanted to be a less foolish hare. We wanted to be swift as the

windandabitmorestrategic—say,nottakingquitesomanysnoozesbeforethe

finishline.Afterall,everyoneknowsyouhavetoshowupinordertowin.

Thestory ofthe tortoiseand thehare,intryingtoputforwardthepowerof

effort, gave effort a bad name. It reinforced the image that effort is for the

ploddersandsuggestedthatinrareinstances,whentalentedpeopledroppedthe

ball,theploddercouldsneakthrough.

Thelittleenginethatcould,thesaggy,baggyelephant,andthescruffytugboat

—they were cute, they were often overmatched, and we were happy for them

whentheysucceeded.Infact,tothisdayIrememberhowfondIwasofthose

littlecreatures(ormachines),butnowaydidIidentifywiththem.Themessage

was: If you’re unfortunate enough to be the runt of the litter—if you lack

endowment—youdon’thavetobeanutterfailure.Youcanbeasweet,adorable

littleslogger,andmaybe(ifyoureallyworkatitandwithstandallthescornful

onlookers)evenasuccess.

Thankyouverymuch,I’lltaketheendowment.

Theproblemwasthatthesestoriesmadeitintoaneither–or.Eitheryouhave

abilityoryouexpendeffort.Andthisispartofthefixedmindset.Effortisfor

thosewhodon’thavetheability.Peoplewiththefixedmindsettellus,“Ifyou

havetoworkatsomething,youmustnotbegoodatit.”Theyadd,“Thingscome

easilytopeoplewhoaretruegeniuses.”

CALVINANDHOBBES©1995WATTERSON.REPRINTEDWITHPERMISSIONOF

UNIVERSALPRESSSYNDICATE

I was a young professor in the psychology department at the University of

Illinois.Lateonenight,Iwaspassingthepsychologybuildingandnoticedthat

thelightswereoninsomefacultyoffices.Someofmycolleagueswereworking

late.TheymustnotbeassmartasIam,Ithoughttomyself.

It never occurred to me that they might be just as smart and more

hardworking!Formeitwaseither–or.AnditwasclearIvaluedtheeitherover

theor.

MalcolmGladwell,theauthorandNewYorkerwriter,hassuggestedthatasa

society we value natural, effortless accomplishment over achievement through

effort.Weendowourheroeswithsuperhumanabilitiesthatledtheminevitably

toward their greatness. It’s as if Midori popped out of the womb fiddling,

MichaelJordandribbling,andPicassodoodling.Thiscapturesthefixedmindset

perfectly.Andit’severywhere.

A report from researchers at Duke University sounds an alarm about the

anxietyanddepression amongfemaleundergraduates whoaspireto“effortless

perfection.” They believe they should display perfect beauty, perfect

womanhood, and perfect scholarship all without trying (or at least without

appearingtotry).

Americansaren’ttheonlypeoplewhodisdaineffort.FrenchexecutivePierre

Chevaliersays,“Wearenotanationofeffort.Afterall,ifyouhavesavoir-faire

[amixtureofknow-howandcool],youdothingseffortlessly.”

Peoplewith the growth mindset, however, believe something very different.

Forthem,evengeniuseshavetoworkhardfortheirachievements.Andwhat’s

soheroic,theywouldsay,abouthavingagift?Theymayappreciateendowment,

buttheyadmireeffort,fornomatterwhatyourabilityis,effortiswhatignites

thatabilityandturnsitintoaccomplishment.

Seabiscuit

Herewasahorsewhowassobroken,hewassupposedtobeputtosleep.Infact,

herewasawholeteamofpeople—thejockey,theowner,thetrainer—whowere

damaged in one way or another. Yet through their dogged determination and

against all odds, they transformed themselves into winners. A down-and-out

nation saw this horse and rider as a symbol of what could be accomplished

throughgritandspirit.

Equally moving is the parallel story about Seabiscuit’s author, Laura

Hillenbrand.Felledinhercollegeyearsbysevere,recurrentchronicfatiguethat

neverwentaway,shewasoftenunabletofunction.Yetsomethinginthestoryof

the“horsewhocould”grippedandinspiredher,sothatshewasabletowritea

heartfelt,magnificentstoryaboutthetriumphofwill.Thebookwasatestament

toSeabiscuit’striumphandherown,equally.

Seen through the lens of the growth mindset, these are stories about the

transformativepowerofeffort—thepowerofefforttochangeyourabilityandto

changeyouasaperson.Butfilteredthroughthefixedmindset,it’sagreatstory

aboutthreemenandahorse,allwithdeficiencies,whohadtotryveryhard.

HighEffort:TheBigRisk

From the point of view of the fixed mindset, effort is only for people with

deficiencies.Andwhenpeoplealreadyknowthey’redeficient,maybetheyhave

nothing to lose by trying. But if your claim to fame is not having any

deficiencies—ifyou’reconsideredagenius,atalent,oranatural—thenyouhave

alottolose.Effortcanreduceyou.

Nadja Salerno-Sonnenberg made her violin debut at the age of ten with the

PhiladelphiaOrchestra.YetwhenshearrivedatJuilliardtostudywithDorothy

DeLay, the great violin teacher, she had a repertoire of awful habits. Her

fingerings and bowings were awkward and she held her violin in the wrong

position, but she refused to change. After several years, she saw the other

students catching up and even surpassing her, and by her late teens she had a

crisisofconfidence.“Iwasusedtosuccess,totheprodigylabelinnewspapers,

andnowIfeltlikeafailure.”

This prodigy was afraid of trying. “ Everything I was going through boiled

down to fear. Fear of trying and failing….If you go to an audition and don’t

reallytry,ifyou’renotreallyprepared,ifyoudidn’tworkashardasyoucould

haveandyoudon’twin,youhaveanexcuse….Nothingisharderthansaying,‘I

gaveitmyallanditwasn’tgoodenough.’ ”

Theideaof trying and stillfailing—ofleavingyourself without excuses—is

theworstfearwithinthe fixed mindset, and ithauntedandparalyzedher. She

hadevenstoppedbringingherviolintoherlesson!

Then, one day, after years of patience and understanding, DeLay told her,

“Listen,ifyoudon’tbringyourviolinnextweek,I’mthrowingyououtofmy

class.” Salerno-Sonnenberg thought she was joking, but DeLay rose from the

couchandcalmlyinformedher,“I’mnotkidding.Ifyouaregoingtowasteyour

talent,Idon’twanttobeapartofit.Thishasgoneonlongenough.”

Whyiseffortsoterrifying?

Therearetworeasons.Oneisthatinthefixedmindset,greatgeniusesarenot

supposed to need it. So just needing it casts a shadow on your ability. The

secondisthat,asNadjasuggests,itrobsyouofallyourexcuses.Withouteffort,

youcanalwayssay,“Icouldhavebeen[fillintheblank].”Butonceyoutry,you

can’t say that anymore. Someone once said to me, “I could have been Yo-Yo

Ma.”Ifshehadreallytriedforit,shewouldn’thavebeenabletosaythat.

Salerno-Sonnenberg was terrified of losing DeLay. She finally decided that

tryingandfailing—anhonestfailure—wasbetterthanthecourseshehadbeen

on,andsoshebegantrainingwithDeLayforanupcomingcompetition.Forthe

first time she went all out, and, by the way, won. Now she says, “This is

somethingIknowforafact:Youhavetoworkhardestforthethingsyoulove

most.Andwhenit’smusicyoulove,you’reinforthefightofyourlife.”

Fear of effort can happen in relationships, too, as it did with Amanda, a

dynamicandattractiveyoungwoman.

Ihadalotofcrazyboyfriends.Alot.Theyrangedfromunreliable

toinconsiderate.“Howaboutaniceguyforonce?”mybestfriend

Carlaalwayssaid.Itwaslike,“Youdeservebetter.”

SothenCarlafixedmeupwithRob,aguyfromheroffice.He

wasgreat,andnotjustondayone.Ilovedit.Itwaslike,“Oh,my

God,aguywhoactuallyshowsupontime.”Thenitbecameserious

andIfreaked.Imean,thisguyreallylikedme,butIcouldn’tstop

thinkingabouthow,ifhereallyknewme,hemightgetturnedoff.I

mean, what if I really, really tried and it didn’t work? I guess I

couldn’ttakethatrisk.

LowEffort:TheBigRisk

In the growth mindset, it’s almost inconceivable to want something badly, to

think you have a chance to achieve it, and then do nothing about it. When it

happens,theIcouldhavebeenisheartbreaking,notcomforting.

TherewerefewAmericanwomeninthe1930sthrough1950swhoweremore

successfulthanClareBootheLuce.Shewasafamousauthorandplaywright,she

waselectedtoCongresstwice,andshewasambassadortoItaly.“Idon’treally

understandtheword‘success,’ ”shehassaid.“Iknowpeopleuseitaboutme,

but I don’t understand it.” Her public life and private tragedies kept her from

gettingbacktohergreatestlove:writingforthetheater.She’dhadgreatsuccess

withplayslikeTheWomen,butitjustwouldn’tdoforapoliticalfiguretokeep

penningtart,sexycomedies.

Forher,politicsdidnotprovidethepersonalcreativeeffortshevaluedmost,

and looking back she couldn’t forgive herself for not pursuing her passion for

theater.“Ioftenthought,”shesaid,“thatifIweretowriteanautobiography,my

titlewouldbeTheAutobiographyofaFailure.”

Billie Jean King says it’s all about what you want to look back and say. I

agree with her. You can look back and say, “I could have been…,” polishing

yourunusedendowmentsliketrophies.Oryoucanlookbackandsay,“Igave

myallforthethingsIvalued.”Thinkaboutwhatyouwanttolookbackandsay.

Thenchooseyourmindset.

TurningKnowledgeintoAction

Sure, people with the fixed mindset have read the books that say: Success is

about being your best self, not about being better than others; failure is an

opportunity,notacondemnation;effortisthekeytosuccess.Buttheycan’tput

this into practice because their basic mindset—their belief in fixed traits—is

tellingthemsomethingentirelydifferent:thatsuccessisaboutbeingmoregifted

thanothers,thatfailuredoesmeasureyou,andthateffortisforthosewhocan’t

makeitontalent.

QUESTIONSANDANSWERS

Atthispoint,youprobablyhavequestions.LetmeseeifIcananswersomeof

them.

Question:Ifpeoplebelievetheirqualitiesarefixed,andtheyhave

shownthemselvestobesmartortalented,whydotheyhavetokeep

proving it? After all, when the prince proved his bravery, he and

theprincesslivedhappilyeverafter.Hedidn’thavetogooutand

slaya dragonevery day.Why don’tpeople withthe fixedmindset

provethemselvesandthenlivehappilyeverafter?

Because every day new and larger dragons come along and, as things get

harder,maybetheabilitytheyprovedyesterdayisnotuptotoday’stask.Maybe

theyweresmartenoughforalgebrabutnotcalculus.Maybetheywereagood

enough pitcher for the minor leagues but not the majors. Maybe they were a

goodenoughwriterfortheirschoolnewspaperbutnotTheNewYorkTimes.

So they’re racing to prove themselves over and over, but where are they

going? To me they’re often running in place, amassing countless affirmations,

butnotnecessarilyendingupwheretheywanttobe.

Youknowthosemovieswherethemaincharacterwakesuponedayandsees

that his life has not been worthwhile—he has always been besting people, not

growing,learning,orcaring.MyfavoriteisGroundhogDay,whichIdidn’tsee

foralongtimebecauseIcouldn’tgetpastthename.Atanyrate,inGroundhog

Day,BillMurraydoesn’tjustwakeuponedayandgetthemessage;hehasto

repeatthesamedayoverandoveruntilhegetsthemessage.

PhilConnors(Murray)isaweathermanforalocalstationinPittsburghwhois

dispatched to Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, to cover the Groundhog Day

ceremony.OnFebruary2,agroundhogistakenoutofhislittlehouse;ifheis

judgedtohaveseenhisshadow,therewillbeanothersixweeksofwinter.Ifnot,

therewillbeanearlyspring.

Phil, considering himself to be a superior being, has complete contempt for

the ceremony, the town, and the people (“hicks” and “morons”), and after

makingthatperfectlyclear,heplanstogetoutofPunxsutawneyasquicklyas

possible.Butthisisnottobe.Ablizzardhitsthetown,heisforcedtoremain,

andwhenhewakesupthenextmorning,it’sGroundhogDayagain.Thesame

SonnyandChersong,“IGotYouBabe,”wakeshimupontheclockradioand

thesamegroundhogfestivalisgearinguponceagain.Andagain.Andagain.

Atfirst,heusestheknowledgetofurtherhistypicalagenda,makingfoolsout

ofotherpeople.Sinceheistheonlyonerelivingtheday,hecantalktoawoman

ononeday,andthenusetheinformationtodeceive,impress,andseduceherthe

next.Heisinfixed-mindsetheaven.Hecanprovehissuperiorityoverandover.

Butaftercountlesssuchdays,herealizesit’sallgoingnowhereandhetriesto

killhimself.Hecrashesacar,heelectrocuteshimself,hejumpsfromasteeple,

hewalksinfrontofatruck.Withnowayout,itfinallydawnsonhim.Hecould

beusingthistimetolearn.Hegoesforpianolessons.Hereadsvoraciously.He

learnsicesculpting.Hefinds out about people who need help that day (a boy

whofallsfromatree,amanwhochokesonhissteak)andstartstohelpthem,

and care about them. Pretty soon the day is not long enough! Only when this

changeofmindsetiscompleteishereleasedfromthespell.

Question: Are mindsets a permanent part of your makeup or can

youchangethem?

Mindsetsareanimportantpartofyourpersonality,butyoucanchangethem.

Justbyknowingaboutthetwomindsets,youcanstartthinkingandreactingin

new ways. People tell me they start to catch themselves when they are in the

throesofthefixedmindset—passingupachanceforlearning,feelinglabeledby

a failure, or getting discouraged when something requires a lot of effort. And

thentheyswitchthemselvesintothegrowthmindset—makingsuretheytakethe

challenge, learn from the failure, or continue their effort. When my graduate

students and I first discovered the mindsets, they would catch me in the fixed

mindset,smilekindly,andletmeknowit.

It’salsoimportanttorealizethatevenifpeoplehaveafixedmindset,they’re

notalwaysinthatmindset.Infact,inmanyofourstudies,weputpeopleintoa

growthmindset.Wetellthemthatanabilitycanbelearnedandthatthetaskwill

give them a chance to do that. Or we have them read a scientific article that

teachesthemthegrowthmindset.Thearticledescribespeoplewhodidnothave

natural ability, but who developed exceptional skills. These experiences make

ourresearchparticipantsintogrowth-mindedthinkers,atleastforthemoment—

andtheyactlikegrowth-mindedthinkers,too.

Later, there’s a chapter all about change. There I describe people who have

changedandprogramswe’vedevelopedtobringaboutchange.

Question: Can I be half-and-half? I recognize both mindsets in

myself.

All of us have elements of both—we’re all a mixture of fixed and growth

mindsets.I’m talking about it as a simple either–or right now for the sak e of

simplicity.

Peoplecanalsohavedifferentmindsetsindifferentareas.Imightthinkthat

myartisticskillsarefixedbutthatmyintelligencecanbedeveloped.Orthatmy

personality is fixed, but my creativity can be developed. We’ve found that

whatevermindsetpeoplehaveinaparticularareawillguidetheminthatarea.

Question: With all your belief in effort, are you saying that when

peoplefail,it’salwaystheirfault—theydidn’ttryhardenough?

No!It’struethateffortiscrucial—noonecansucceedforlongwithoutit—

but it’s certainly not the only thing. People have different resources and

opportunities. For example, people with money (or rich parents) have a safety

net.Theycantakemorerisksandkeepgoinglongeruntiltheysucceed.People

with easy access to a good education, people with a network of influential

friends, people who know how to be in the right place at the right time—all

stand a better chance of having their effort pay off. Rich, educated, connected

effortworksbetter.

Peoplewithfewerresources,inspiteoftheirbestefforts,canbederailedso

much more easily. The hometown plant you’ve worked in all of your life

suddenlyshutsdown.Whatnow?Yourchildfallsillandplungesyouintodebt.

There goes the house. Your spouse runs off with the nest egg and leaves you

withthechildrenandbills.Forgetthenightschoolclasses.

Beforewejudge,let’srememberthateffortisn’tquiteeverythingandthatall

effortisnotcreatedequal.

Question: You keep talking about how the growth mindset makes

peoplenumberone,thebest,themostsuccessful.Isn’tthegrowth

mindsetaboutpersonaldevelopment,notbestingothers?

Iuseexamplesofpeoplewhomadeittothetoptoshowhowfarthegrowth

mindsetcantakeyou:Believingtalentscanbedevelopedallowspeopletofulfill

theirpotential.

Inaddition,examplesoflaid-backpeoplehavingagoodtimewouldnotbeas

convincing to people with a fixed mindset. It doesn’t provide a compelling

alternative for them because it makes it look like a choice between fun and

excellence.

However,thispointiscrucial:Thegrowthmindsetdoesallowpeopletolove

what they’re doing—and to continue to love it in the face of difficulties. The

growth-mindedathletes,CEOs,musicians,orscientistsalllovedwhattheydid,

whereasmanyofthefixed-mindedonesdidnot.

Manygrowth-mindedpeopledidn’tevenplantogotothetop.Theygotthere

as a result of doing what they love. It’s ironic: The top is where the fixed-

mindsetpeoplehungertobe,butit’swheremanygrowth-mindedpeoplearrive

asaby-productoftheirenthusiasmforwhattheydo.

This point is also crucial. In the fixed mindset, everything is about the

outcome.Ifyoufail—orifyou’renotthebest—it’sallbeenwasted.Thegrowth

mindset allows people to value what they’re doing regardless of the outcome.

They’retacklingproblems,chartingnewcourses,workingonimportantissues.

Maybe they haven’t found the cure for cancer, but the search was deeply

meaningful.

Alawyerspentsevenyearsfightingthebiggestbankinhisstateonbehalfof

peoplewhofelt they’d beencheated.Afterhe lost, he said,“WhoamI to say

thatjustbecauseIspentsevenyearsonsomethingIamentitledtosuccess?DidI

doitforthesuccess,ordidIdoitbecauseIthoughttheeffortitselfwasvalid?

“Idonotregretit.Ihadtodoit.Iwouldnotdoitdifferently.”

Question:Iknowalotofworkaholicsonthefasttrackwhoseemto

have a fixed mindset. They’re always trying to prove how smart

they are, but they do work hard and they do take on challenges.

Howdoesthisfitwithyourideathatpeoplewithafixedmindsetgo

inforloweffortandeasytasks?

On the whole, people with a fixed mindset prefer effortless success, since

that’sthebestwaytoprovetheirtalent.Butyou’reright,therearealsoplentyof

high-poweredpeoplewhothinktheirtraitsarefixedandarelookingforconstant

validation. These may be people whose life goal is to win a Nobel Prize or

becometherichestpersonontheplanet—andthey’rewillingtodowhatittakes.

We’llmeetpeoplelikethisinthechapteronbusinessandleadership.

Thesepeoplemaybefreeofthebeliefthathigheffortequalslowability,but

they have the other parts of the fixed mindset. They may constantly put their

talenton display.Theymay feelthattheir talentmakesthem superiortoother

people.Andtheymaybeintolerantofmistakes,criticism,orsetbacks.

Incidentally,peoplewithagrowthmindsetmightalsolikeaNobelPrizeora

lot of money. But they are not seeking it as a validation of their worth or as

somethingthatwillmakethembetterthanothers.

Question: What if I like my fixed mindset? If I know what my

abilitiesandtalentsare,IknowwhereIstand,andIknowwhatto

expect.WhyshouldIgivethatup?

Ifyoulikeit,byallmeanskeepit.Thisbookshowspeopletheyhaveachoice

by spelling out the two mindsets and the worlds they create. The point is that

peoplecanchoosewhichworldtheywanttoinhabit.

Thefixedmindsetcreatesthefeelingthatyoucanreallyknowthepermanent

truthaboutyourself.Andthiscanbecomforting:Youdon’thavetotryforsuch-

and-suchbecauseyoudon’thavethetalent.Youwillsurelysucceedatthus-and-

suchbecauseyoudohavethetalent.

It’sjustimportanttobeawareofthedrawbacksofthismindset.Youmaybe

robbing yourself of an opportunity by underestimating your talent in the first

area.Oryoumaybeunderminingyourchancesofsuccessinthesecondareaby

assumingthatyourtalentalonewilltakeyouthere.

Bytheway,havingagrowthmindsetdoesn’tforceyoutopursuesomething.

Itjusttellsyouthatyoucandevelopyourskills.It’sstilluptoyouwhetheryou

wantto.

Question: Can everything about people be changed, and should

peopletrytochangeeverythingtheycan?

Thegrowthmindsetisthebeliefthatabilitiescanbecultivated.Butitdoesn’t

tell you how much change is possible or how long change will take. And it

doesn’tmeanthateverything,likepreferencesorvalues,canbechanged.

Iwasonceinataxi,andthedriverhadanoperaontheradio.Thinkingtostart

a conversation, I said, “Do you like opera?” “No,” he replied, “I hate it. I’ve

alwayshatedit.”“Idon’tmeantopry,”Isaid,“butwhyareyoulisteningtoit?”

Hethentoldmehowhisfatherhadbeenanoperabuff,listeningtohisvintage

recordsateveryopportunity.Mycabdriver,nowwellintomiddleage,hadtried

formanyyearstocultivatearapturousresponsetoopera.Heplayedthedisks,he

readthescores—alltonoavail.“Giveyourselfabreak,”Iadvisedhim.“There

areplentyofculturedandintelligentpeoplewhocan’tstandopera.Whydon’t

youjustconsideryourselfoneofthem?”

Thegrowthmindsetalsodoesn’tmeaneverythingthatcanbechangedshould

bechanged.Weallneedtoacceptsomeofourimperfections,especiallytheones

thatdon’treallyharmourlivesorthelivesofothers.

Thefixedmindsetstandsinthewayofdevelopmentandchange.Thegrowth

mindsetisastartingpointforchange,butpeopleneedtodecideforthemselves

wheretheireffortstowardchangewouldbemostvaluable.

Question: Are people with the fixed mindset simply lacking in

confidence?

No.Peoplewiththefixedmindsetcanhavejustasmuchconfidenceaspeople

with the growth mindset—before anything happens, that is. But as you can

imagine, their confidence is more fragile since setbacks and even effort can

undermineit.

JosephMartocchioconductedastudyofemployeeswhoweretakingashort

computertrainingcourse.Halfoftheemployeeswereputintoafixedmindset.

Hetoldthemitwasallamatterofhowmuchabilitytheypossessed.Theother

halfwere putinagrowthmindset. Hetoldthemthatcomputerskillscould be

developedthroughpractice.Everyone,steepedinthesemindsets,thenproceeded

withthecourse.

Although the two groups started off with exactly equal confidence in their

computerskills,by theendof the coursetheylooked quitedifferent.Thosein

the growth mindset gained considerable confidence in their computer skills as

theylearned,despite the many mistakestheyinevitablymade. But, becauseof

those mistakes, those with the fixed mindset actually lost confidence in their

computerskillsastheylearned!

The same thing happened with Berkeley students. Richard Robins and

Jennifer Pals tracked students at the University of California at Berkeley over

theiryearsof college. Theyfoundthatwhenstudents had thegrowthmindset,

theygainedconfidenceinthemselvesas they repeatedly met and masteredthe

challenges of the university. However, when students had the fixed mindset,

theirconfidenceerodedinthefaceofthosesamechallenges.

That’swhypeoplewiththefixedmindsethavetonursetheirconfidenceand

protect it. That’s what John McEnroe’s excuses were for: to protect his

confidence.

MichelleWiewasateenagegolferwhenshedecidedtogoupagainstthebig

boys.SheenteredtheSonyOpen,aPGAtournamentthatfeaturesthebestmale

playersintheworld.Comingfromafixed-mindsetperspective,everyonerushed

towarnherthatshecoulddoseriousdamagetoherconfidenceifshedidpoorly

—that“takingtoomanyearlylumpsagainstsuperiorcompetitioncouldhurther

long-range development.” “It’s always negative when you don’t win,” warned

VijaySingh,aprominentgolferonthetour.

ButWiedisagreed.Shewasn’t going there to groom her confidence.“Once

you win junior tournaments, it’s easy to win multiple times. What I’m doing

now is to prepare for the future.” It’s the learning experience she was after—

what it was like to play with the world’s best players in the atmosphere of a

tournament.

Aftertheevent,Wie’sconfidencehadnotsufferedonebit.Shehadexactly

whatshewanted.“IthinkIlearnedthatIcanplayhere.”Itwouldbealongroad

tothewinner’scircle,butshenowhadasenseofwhatshewasshootingfor.

Someyearsago,Igotaletterfromaworld-classcompetitiveswimmer.

DearProfessorDweck:

I’vealwayshadaproblemwithconfidence.Mycoachesalways

toldmetobelieveinmyself100%.Theytoldmenottoletany

doubtsentermymindandtothinkabouthowI’mbetterthan

everyoneelse.Icouldn’tdoitbecauseI’malwayssoawareofmy

defectsandthemistakesImakeineverymeet.TryingtothinkI

wasperfectmadeitevenworse.ThenIreadyourworkandhowit’s

soimportanttofocusonlearningandimproving.Itturnedme

around.MydefectsarethingsIcanworkon!Nowamistake

doesn’tseemsoimportant.Iwantedtowriteyouthisletterfor

teachingmehowtohaveconfidence.Thankyou.

Sincerely,

MaryWilliams

A remarkable thing I’ve learned from my research is that in the growth

mindset,youdon’talwaysneedconfidence.

WhatImeanisthatevenwhenyouthinkyou’renotgoodatsomething,you

canstillplungeintoitwholeheartedlyandsticktoit.Actually,sometimesyou

plungeintosomethingbecauseyou’renotgoodatit.Thisisawonderfulfeature

of the growth mindset. You don’t have to think you’re already great at

somethingtowanttodoitandtoenjoydoingit.

ThisbookisoneofthehardestthingsI’veeverdone.Ireadendlessbooksand

articles.Theinformationwasoverwhelming.I’dneverwritteninapopularway.

Itwas intimidating.Does itseemeasyforme? Waybackwhen,that’sexactly

whatIwouldhavewantedyoutothink.NowIwantyoutoknowtheeffortit

took—andthejoyitbrought.

GrowYourMindset

• Peopleareallbornwithaloveoflearning,butthefixed

mindsetcanundoit.Thinkofatimeyouwereenjoying

something—doingacrosswordpuzzle,playingasport,

learninganewdance.Thenitbecamehardandyouwanted

out.Maybeyousuddenlyfelttired,dizzy,bored,orhungry.

Nexttimethishappens,don’tfoolyourself.It’sthefixed

mindset.Putyourselfinagrowthmindset.Pictureyourbrain

formingnewconnectionsasyoumeetthechallengeandlearn.

Keepongoing.

• It’stemptingtocreateaworldinwhichwe’reperfect.(Ah,I

rememberthatfeelingfromgradeschool.)Wecanchoose

partners,makefriends,hirepeoplewhomakeusfeel

faultless.Butthinkaboutit—doyouwanttonevergrow?

Nexttimeyou’retemptedtosurroundyourselfwith

worshipers,gotochurch.Intherestofyourlife,seek

constructivecriticism.

• Istheresomethinginyourpastthatyouthinkmeasuredyou?

Atestscore?Adishonestorcallousaction?Beingfiredfrom

ajob?Beingrejected?Focusonthatthing.Feelallthe

emotionsthatgowithit.Nowputitinagrowth-mindset

perspective.Lookhonestlyatyourroleinit,butunderstand

thatitdoesn’tdefineyourintelligenceorpersonality.Instead,

ask:WhatdidI(orcanI)learnfromthatexperience?How

canIuseitasabasisforgrowth?Carrythatwithyou

instead.

• Howdoyouactwhenyoufeeldepressed?Doyouwork

harderatthingsinyourlifeordoyouletthemgo?Nexttime

youfeellow,putyourselfinagrowthmindset—thinkabout

learning,challenge,confrontingobstacles.Thinkabouteffort

asapositive,constructiveforce,notasabigdrag.Tryitout.

• Istheresomethingyou’vealwayswantedtodobutwere

afraidyouweren’tgoodat?Makeaplantodoit.

Chapter3

THETRUTHABOUTABILITYANDACCOMPLISHMENT

TrytopictureThomasEdisonasvividlyasyoucan.Thinkaboutwhereheisand

whathe’sdoing. Is he alone?Iaskedpeople, and theyalwayssaidthings like

this:

“He’s in his workshop surrounded by equipment. He’s working on the

phonograph,tryingthings.Hesucceeds![Ishealone?]Yes,he’sdoingthisstuff

alonebecausehe’stheonlyonewhoknowswhathe’safter.”

“He’sinNewJersey.He’sstandinginawhitecoatinalab-typeroom.He’s

leaningoveralightbulb.Suddenly,itworks![Ishealone?]Yes.He’skindofa

reclusiveguywholikestotinkeronhisown.”

Intruth,therecordshowsquiteadifferentfellow,workinginquiteadifferent

way.

Edison was not a loner. For the invention of the lightbulb, he had thirty

assistants,includingwell-trainedscientists,oftenworkingaroundtheclockina

corporate-fundedstate-of-the-artlaboratory!

It did not happen suddenly. The lightbulb has become the symbol of that

single moment when the brilliant solution strikes, but there was no single

momentofinvention.Infact,thelightbulbwasnotoneinvention,butawhole

network of time-consuming inventions each requiring one or more chemists,

mathematicians,physicists,engineers,andglassblowers.

Edisonwasno naïve tinkerer orunworldlyegghead.The “Wizard ofMenlo

Park”wasasavvyentrepreneur,fullyawareofthecommercialpotentialofhis

inventions.Healsoknewhowtocozyuptothepress—sometimesbeatingothers

outastheinventorofsomethingbecauseheknewhowtopublicizehimself.

Yes,hewasagenius.Buthewasnotalwaysone.Hisbiographer,PaulIsrael,

siftingthroughalltheavailableinformation,thinkshewasmoreorlessaregular

boy of his time and place. Young Tom was taken with experiments and

mechanical things (perhaps more avidly than most), but machines and

technologywerepartoftheordinarymidwesternboy’sexperience.

Whateventuallysethim apart was his mindset anddrive.Heneverstopped

being the curious, tinkering boy looking for new challenges. Long after other

youngmenhadtakenuptheirrolesinsociety,herodetherailsfromcitytocity

learning everything he could about telegraphy, and working his way up the

ladderoftelegraphersthroughnonstopself-educationandinvention.Andlater,

much to the disappointment of his wives, his consuming love remained self-

improvementandinvention,butonlyinhisfield.

There are many myths about ability and achievement, especially about the

lone,brilliantpersonsuddenlyproducingamazingthings.

YetDarwin’smasterwork,TheOriginofSpecies,tookyearsofteamworkin

the field, hundreds of discussions with colleagues and mentors, several

preliminarydrafts,andhalfalifetimeofdedicationbeforeitreachedfruition.

Mozartlaboredfor morethanten years untilheproduced any workthatwe

admiretoday.Beforethen,hiscompositionswerenotthatoriginalorinteresting.

Actually,theywereoftenpatched-togetherchunkstakenfromothercomposers.

Thischapterisabouttherealingredientsinachievement.It’saboutwhysome

peopleachievelessthanexpectedandwhysomepeopleachievemore.

MINDSETANDSCHOOLACHIEVEMENT

Let’sstepdownfromthecelestialrealmofMozartandDarwinandcomeback

to earth to see how mindsets create achievement in real life. It’s funny, but

seeingonestudentblossomunderthegrowthmindsethasagreaterimpactonme

thanallthestoriesaboutMozartsandDarwins.Maybebecauseit’smoreabout

youandme—aboutwhat’shappenedtousandwhywearewherewearenow.

Andaboutchildrenandtheirpotential.

Backonearth,wemeasuredstudents’mindsetsastheymadethetransitionto

junior high school: Did they believe their intelligence was a fixed trait or

somethingtheycoulddevelop?Thenwefollowedthemforthenexttwoyears.

Thetransitiontojuniorhighisatimeof great challenge for many students.

The work gets much harder, the grading policies toughen up, the teaching

becomeslesspersonalized.Andallthishappenswhilestudentsarecopingwith

theirnewadolescentbodiesandroles.Gradessuffer,butnoteveryone’sgrades

sufferequally.

No.Inourstudy,onlythestudentswiththefixedmindsetshowedthedecline.

Thestudents withthegrowth mindsetshowedan increaseintheirgradesover

thetwoyears.

When the two groups had entered junior high, their past records were

indistinguishable. In the more benign environment of grade school, they’d

earned the same grades and achievement test scores. Only when they hit the

challengeofjuniorhighdidtheybegintopullapart.

Here’showstudentswiththefixedmindsetexplainedtheirpoorgrades.Many

maligned their abilities: “I am the stupidest” or “I suck in math.” And many

covered these feelings by blaming someone else: “[The math teacher] is a fat

male slut…and [the English teacher] is a slob with a pink ass.” “Because the

teacherisoncrack.”Theseinterestinganalysesoftheproblemhardlyprovidea

roadmaptofuturesuccess.

Withthethreatoffailurelooming,studentswiththegrowthmindsetinstead

mobilizedtheirresourcesforlearning.Theytoldusthatthey,too,sometimesfelt

overwhelmed,buttheirresponsewastodiginanddowhatittakes.Theywere

likeGeorgeDanzig.Who?

GeorgeDanzigwasagraduatestudentinmathatBerkeley.Oneday,asusual,

he rushed in late to his math class and quickly copied the two homework

problemsfromtheblackboard.Whenhelaterwenttodothem,hefoundthem

verydifficult,andittookhimseveraldaysofhardworktocrackthemopenand

solvethem.Theyturnedoutnottobehomeworkproblemsatall.Theyweretwo

famousmathproblemsthathadneverbeensolved.

TheLow-EffortSyndrome

Ourstudentswiththefixedmindsetwhowerefacingthehardtransitionsawitas

a threat. It threatened to unmask their flaws and turn them from winners into

losers.Infact,inthefixedmindset,adolescenceisonebigtest.AmIsmartor

dumb? Am I good-looking or ugly? Am I cool or nerdy? Am I a winner or a

loser?Andinthefixedmindset,aloserisforever.

It’s no wonder that many adolescents mobilize their resources, not for

learning,buttoprotecttheiregos.Andoneofthemainwaystheydothis(aside

from providing vivid portraits of their teachers) is by not trying. This is when

someofthebrighteststudents,justlikeNadjaSalerno-Sonnenberg,simplystop

working.Infact,studentswiththefixedmindsettellusthattheirmaingoalin

school—asidefromlookingsmart—istoexertas littleeffortaspossible.They

heartilyagreewithstatementslikethis:

“InschoolmymaingoalistodothingsaseasilyaspossiblesoIdon’thaveto

workveryhard.”

Thislow-effortsyndromeisoftenseenasawaythatadolescentsasserttheir

independence from adults, but it is also a way that students with the fixed

mindset protect themselves. They view the adults as saying, “Now we will

measure you and see what you’ve got.” And they are answering, “No you

won’t.”

JohnHolt,thegreateducator,saysthatthesearethegamesallhumanbeings

playwhenothersaresittinginjudgmentofthem.“Theworststudentwehad,the

worstIhaveeverencountered,wasinhislifeoutsidetheclassroomasmature,

intelligent, and interesting a person as anyone at the school. What went

wrong?…Somewherealongtheline,hisintelligencebecamedisconnectedfrom

hisschooling.”

Forstudentswiththegrowthmindset,itdoesn’tmakesensetostoptrying.For

them,adolescenceisatimeofopportunity:atimetolearnnewsubjects,atime

tofindoutwhattheylikeandwhattheywanttobecomeinthefuture.

Later, I’ll describe the project in which we taught junior high students the

growthmindset.WhatIwanttotellyounowishowteachingthemthismindset

unleashed their effort. One day, we were introducing the growth mindset to a

newgroupofstudents.AllatonceJimmy—themosthard-coreturned-offlow-

effortkidinthegroup—lookedupwithtearsinhiseyesandsaid,“YoumeanI

don’thavetobedumb?”Fromthatdayon,heworked.Hestartedstayinguplate

to do his homework, which he never used to bother with at all. He started

handinginassignmentsearlysohecouldgetfeedbackandrevisethem.Henow

believed that working hard was not something that made you vulnerable, but

somethingthatmadeyousmarter.

FindingYourBrain

Aclosefriendofminerecentlyhandedmesomethinghe’dwritten,apoem-story

thatremindedmeofJimmyandhisunleashedeffort.Myfriend’ssecond-grade

teacher, Mrs. Beer, had had each student draw and cut out a paper horse. She

then lined up all the horses above the blackboard and delivered her growth-

mindsetmessage:“Yourhorseisonlyasfastasyourbrain.Everytimeyoulearn

something,yourhorsewillmoveahead.”

Myfriendwasn’tsosureaboutthe“brain”thing.Hisfatherhadalwaystold

him,“Youhavetoomuchmouthandtoolittlebrainsforyourowngood.”Plus,

his horse seemed to just sit at the starting gate while “everyone else’s brain

joined the learning chase,” especially the brains of Hank and Billy, the class

geniuses, whose horses jumped way ahead of everyone else’s. But my friend

keptatit.Toimprovehisskills,hekeptreadingthecomicswithhismotherand

hekeptaddingupthepointswhenheplayedginrummywithhisgrandmother.

Andsoonmysleekstallion

boltedforwardlikeWhirlaway,

andtherewasnoone

whowasgoingtostophim.

Overtheweeksandmonths

heflewforwardovertaking

theothersonebyone.

Inthelatespringhomestretch

Hank’sandBilly’smountswereahead

byjustafewsubtractionexercises,and

whenthelastbellofschoolrang,

myhorsewon—“Byanose!”

ThenIknewIhadabrain:

Ihadthehorsetoproveit.

—PAULWORTMAN

Ofcourse,learningshouldn’treallybearace.Butthisracehelpedmyfriend

discoverhisbrainandconnectituptohisschooling.

TheCollegeTransition

Anothertransition,anothercrisis.Collegeiswhenallthestudentswhowerethe

brainsinhighschoolarethrowntogether.Likeourgraduatestudents,yesterday

theywerekingofthehill,buttodaywhoarethey?

Nowhere is the anxiety of being dethroned more palpable than in pre-med

classes. In the last chapter, I mentioned our study of tense but hopeful

undergraduatestakingtheirfirstcollegechemistrycourse.Thisisthecoursethat

would give them—or deny them—entrée to the pre-med curriculum, and it’s

wellknownthatstudentswillgotoalmostanylengthstodowellinthiscourse.

Atthe beginningof thesemester,wemeasuredstudents’mindsets,andthen

we followed them through the course, watching their grades and asking about

their study strategies. Once again we found that the students with the growth

mindset earned better grades in the course. Even when they did poorly on a

particulartest,theybouncedbackonthenextones.Whenstudentswiththefixed

mindsetdidpoorly,theyoftendidn’tmakeacomeback.

Inthiscourse,everybodystudied.Buttherearedifferentwaystostudy.Many

students study like this: They read the textbook and their class notes. If the

material is really hard, they read them again. Or they might try to memorize

everything they can, like a vacuum cleaner. That’s how the students with the

fixed mindset studied. If they did poorly on the test, they concluded that

chemistrywasnottheirsubject.Afterall,“Idideverythingpossible,didn’tI?”

Farfromit.Theywouldbeshockedtofindoutwhatstudentswiththegrowth

mindsetdo.EvenIfinditremarkable.

The students with growth mindset completely took charge of their learning

andmotivation.Insteadofplungingintounthinkingmemorizationofthecourse

material, they said: “I looked for themes and underlying principles across

lectures,”and“IwentovermistakesuntilIwascertainIunderstoodthem.”They

werestudyingtolearn,notjusttoacethetest.And,actually,thiswaswhythey

gothighergrades—notbecausetheyweresmarterorhadabetterbackgroundin

science.

Instead of losing their motivation when the course got dry or difficult, they

said:“Imaintainedmyinterestinthematerial.”“Istayedpositiveabouttaking

chemistry.” “I kept myself motivated to study.” Even if they thought the

textbookwasboringortheinstructorwasastiff,theydidn’tlettheirmotivation

evaporate.Thatjustmadeitallthemoreimportanttomotivatethemselves.

I got an e-mail from one of my undergraduate students shortly after I had

taught her the growth mindset. Here’s how she used to study before: “When

facedwithreallytoughmaterialItend[ed]toreadthematerialoverandover.”

After learning the growth mindset, she started using better strategies—that

worked:

ProfessorDweck:

WhenHeidi[theteachingassistant]toldmemyexamresults

todayIdidn’tknowwhethertocryorjustsitdown.Heidiwilltell

you,IlookedlikeIwonthelottery(andIfeelthatway,too)!Ican’t

believeIdidSOWELL.Iexpectedto“scrape”by.The

encouragementyouhavegivenmewillservemewellinlife….

IfeelthatI’veearnedanoblegrade,butIdidn’tearnitalone.

Prof.Dweck,younotonlyteach[your]theory,youSHOWit.

Thankyouforthelesson.Itisavaluableone,perhapsthemost

valuableI’velearnedatColumbia.Andyeah,I’llbedoingTHAT

[usingthesestrategies]beforeEVERYexam!

Thankyouvery,verymuch(andyouTOOHeidi)!

Nolongerhelpless,

June

Becausetheythinkintermsoflearning,peoplewiththegrowthmindsetare

clued in to all the different ways to create learning. It’s odd. Our pre-med

students with the fixed mindset would do almost anything for a good grade—

excepttakechargeoftheprocesstomakesureithappens.

CreatedEqual?

Doesthismeanthatanyonewiththerightmindsetcandowell?Areallchildren

created equal? Let’s take the second question first. No, some children are

different. In her book Gifted Children, Ellen Winner offers incredible

descriptions of prodigies. These are children who seem to be born with

heightenedabilitiesandobsessiveinterests,andwho,throughrelentlesspursuit

oftheseinterests,becomeamazinglyaccomplished.

Michael was one of the most precocious. He constantly played games

involvinglettersandnumbers,madehisparentsanswerendlessquestionsabout

lettersandnumbers,andspoke,read,anddidmathatanunbelievablyearlyage.

Michael’smother reportsthatat fourmonthsold,hesaid,“Mom,Dad,what’s

fordinner?”Attenmonths,heastoundedpeopleinthesupermarketbyreading

words from the signs. Everyone assumed his mother was doing some kind of

ventriloquism thing. His father reports that at three, he was not only doing

algebra,butdiscoveringandprovingalgebraicrules.Eachday,whenhisfather

gothomefromwork,Michaelwouldpullhimtowardmathbooksandsay,“Dad,

let’sgodowork.”

Michael must have started with a special ability, but, for me, the most

outstanding feature is his extreme love of learning and challenge. His parents

could not tear him away from his demanding activities. The same is true for

everyprodigyWinnerdescribes.Mostoftenpeoplebelievethatthe“gift”isthe

abilityitself.Yetwhatfeedsitisthatconstant,endlesscuriosityandchallenge

seeking.

Is it ability or mindset? Was it Mozart’s musical ability or the fact that he

workedtillhis hands were deformed?WasitDarwin’s scientific abilityorthe

factthathecollectedspecimensnonstopfromearlychildhood?

Prodigies or not, we all have interests that can blossom into abilities. As a

child, I was fascinated by people, especially adults. I wondered: What makes

them tick? In fact, a few years back, one of my cousins reminded me of an

episode that took place when we were five years old. We were at my

grandmother’s house, and he’d had a big fight with his mother over when he

couldeathiscandy.Later,weweresittingoutsideonthefrontstepsandIsaidto

him:“Don’tbesostupid.Adultsliketothinkthey’reincharge.Justsayyes,and

theneatyourcandywhenyouwantto.”

Werethosethewordsofabuddingpsychologist?AllIknowisthatmycousin

toldmethisadviceservedhimwell.(Interestingly,hebecameadentist.)

CanEveryoneDoWell?

Nowbacktothefirstquestion.Iseveryonecapableofgreatthingswiththeright

mindset?Couldyoumarchintotheworsthighschoolinyourstateandteachthe

studentscollegecalculus?Ifyoucould,thenonethingwouldbeclear:Withthe

rightmindsetand therightteaching, people arecapableof a lotmorethan we

think.

Garfield High School was one of the worst schools in Los Angeles. To say

that the students were turned off and the teachers burned out is an

understatement. But without thinking twice, Jaime Escalante (of Stand and

Deliver fame) taught these inner-city Hispanic students college-level calculus.

Withhisgrowthmindset,heasked,“HowcanIteachthem?”not“CanIteach

them?”and“Howwilltheylearnbest?”not“Cantheylearn?”

But not only did he teach them calculus, he (and his colleague, Benjamin

Jimenez)tookthemtothetopofthenationalchartsinmath.In1987,onlythree

other public schools in the country had more students taking the Advanced

PlacementCalculustest.ThosethreeincludedStuyvesantHighSchoolandthe

BronxHighSchoolofScience,bothelitemath-and-science-orientedschoolsin

NewYork.

What’smore,mostoftheGarfieldstudentsearnedtestgradesthatwerehigh

enoughtogainthemcollegecredits.Inthewholecountrythatyear,onlyafew

hundred Mexican American students passed the test at this level. This means

there’salotofintelligenceouttherebeingwastedbyunderestimatingstudents’

potentialtodevelop.

MarvaCollins

Mostoftenwhenkidsarebehind—say,whenthey’rerepeatingagrade—they’re

given dumbed-down material on the assumption that they can’t handle more.

Thatideacomesfromthefixedmindset:Thesestudentsaredim-witted,sothey

needthesamesimplethingsdrummedintothemoverandover.Well,theresults

aredepressing.Studentsrepeatthewholegradewithoutlearninganymorethan

theyknewbefore.

Instead, Marva Collins took inner-city Chicago kids who had failed in the

publicschools andtreatedthemlikegeniuses.Manyofthemhad beenlabeled

“learningdisabled,”“retarded,”or“emotionallydisturbed.”Virtuallyallofthem

wereapathetic.Nolightintheeyes,nohopeintheface.

Collins’s second-grade public school class started out with the lowest-level

reader there was. By June, they reached the middle of the fifth-grade reader,

studying Aristotle, Aesop, Tolstoy, Shakespeare, Poe, Frost, and Dickinson

alongtheway.

Later when she started her own school, Chicago Sun-Times columnist Zay

Smith dropped in. He saw four-year-olds writing sentences like “See the

physician” and “Aesop wrote fables,” and talking about “diphthongs” and

“diacritical marks.” He observed second graders reciting passages from

Shakespeare, Longfellow, and Kipling. Shortly before, he had visited a rich

suburban high school where many students had never heard of Shakespeare.

“Shoot,”saidoneofCollins’sstudents,“youmeanthoserichhighschoolkids

don’tknowShakespearewasbornin1564anddiedin1616?”

Students read huge amounts, even over the summer. One student, who had

enteredasa“retarded”six-year-old,nowfouryearslaterhadreadtwenty-three

books over the summer, including A Tale of Two Cities and Jane Eyre. The

students read deeply and thoughtfully. As the three-and four-year-olds were

readingaboutDaedalusandIcarus,onefour-year-oldexclaimed,“Mrs.Collins,

if we do not learn and work hard, we will take an Icarian flight to nowhere.”

HeateddiscussionsofMacbethwerecommon.

Alfred Binet believed you could change the quality of someone’s mind.

Clearly you can. Whether you measure these children by the breadth of their

knowledgeorbytheirperformanceonstandardizedtests,theirmindshadbeen

transformed.

BenjaminBloom,aneminenteducationalresearcher,studied120outstanding

achievers. They were concert pianists, sculptors, Olympic swimmers, world-

class tennis players, mathematicians, and research neurologists. Most were not

that remarkable as children and didn’t show clear talent before their training

beganinearnest.Evenbyearlyadolescence,youusuallycouldn’tpredicttheir

future accomplishment from their current ability. Only their continued

motivationandcommitment,alongwiththeirnetworkofsupport,tookthemto

thetop.

Bloomconcludes,“Afterfortyyearsofintensiveresearchonschoollearning

intheUnitedStatesaswellasabroad,mymajorconclusionis:Whatanyperson

in the world can learn, almost all persons can learn, if provided with the

appropriatepriorandcurrentconditionsoflearning.”He’snotcountingthe2to

3 percent of children who have severe impairments, and he’s not counting the

top 1 to 2 percent of children at the other extreme that include children like

Michael.Heiscountingeverybodyelse.

AbilityLevelsandTracking

Butaren’tstudentssortedintodifferentabilitylevelsforareason?Haven’ttheir

test scores and past achievement shown what their ability is? Remember, test

scoresandmeasuresofachievementtellyouwhereastudentis,buttheydon’t

tellyouwhereastudentcouldendup.

Falko Rheinberg, a researcher in Germany, studied schoolteachers with

different mindsets. Some of the teachers had the fixed mindset. They believed

thatstudentsenteringtheirclasswithdifferentachievementlevelsweredeeply

andpermanentlydifferent:

“Accordingtomyexperiencestudents’achievementmostlyremainsconstant

inthecourseofayear.”

“IfIknowstudents’intelligenceIcanpredicttheirschoolcareerquitewell.”

“AsateacherIhavenoinfluenceonstudents’intellectualability.”

Like my sixth-grade teacher, Mrs. Wilson, these teachers preached and

practiced the fixed mindset. In their classrooms, the students who started the

year in the high-ability group ended the year there, and those who started the

yearinthelow-abilitygroupendedtheyearthere.

Butsometeacherspreachedandpracticedagrowthmindset.Theyfocusedon

the idea that all children could develop their skills, and in their classrooms a

weird thing happened. It didn’t matter whether students started the year in the

high-or the low-ability group. Both groups ended the year way up high. It’s a

powerful experience to see these findings. The group differences had simply

disappeared under the guidance of teachers who taught for improvement, for

theseteachershadfoundawaytoreachtheir“low-ability”students.

Howteachersputagrowthmindsetintopracticeisthetopicofalaterchapter,

buthere’sapreviewofhowMarvaCollins,therenownedteacher,didit.Onthe

first day of class, she approached Freddie, a left-back second grader, who

wantednopartofschool.“Comeon,peach,”shesaidtohim,cuppinghisface

in her hands, “we have work to do. You can’t just sit in a seat and grow

smart….Ipromise,youaregoingtodo,andyouaregoingtoproduce.Iamnot

goingtoletyoufail.”

Summary

The fixed mindset limits achievement. It fills people’s minds with interfering

thoughts,itmakeseffortdisagreeable,anditleadstoinferiorlearningstrategies.

What’smore,itmakesotherpeopleintojudgesinsteadofallies.Whetherwe’re

talkingaboutDarwinorcollegestudents,importantachievementsrequireaclear

focus, all-out effort, and a bottomless trunk full of strategies. Plus allies in

learning.Thisiswhatthegrowthmindsetgivespeople,andthat’swhyithelps

theirabilitiesgrowandbearfruit.

ISARTISTICABILITYAGIFT?

Despitethewidespreadbeliefthatintelligenceisborn,notmade,whenwereally

think about it, it’s not so hard to imagine that people can develop their

intellectual abilities. The intellect is so multifaceted. You can develop verbal

skillsormathematical-scientificskillsorlogicalthinkingskills,andsoon.But

when it comes to artistic ability, it seems more like a God-given gift. For

example,peopleseemtonaturallydrawwellorpoorly.

Even I believed this. While some of my friends seemed to draw beautifully

with no effort and no training, my drawing ability was arrested in early grade

school. Try as I might, my attempts were primitive and disappointing. I was

artisticinotherways.Icandesign,I’mgreatwithcolors,Ihaveasubtlesenseof

composition. Plus I have really good eye–hand coordination. Why couldn’t I

draw?Imustnothavethegift.

Ihavetoadmitthatitdidn’tbothermeallthatmuch.Afterall,whendoyou

reallyhavetodraw?Ifoundoutoneeveningasthedinnerguestofafascinating

man.Hewasanolderman,apsychiatrist,whohadescapedfromtheHolocaust.

As a ten-year-old child in Czechoslovakia, he and his younger brother came

home from school one day to find their parents gone. They had been taken.

Knowing there was an uncle in England, the two boys walked to London and

foundhim.

Afewyearslater,lyingabouthisage,myhostjoinedtheRoyalAirForceand

foughtforBritaininthewar.Whenhewaswounded,hemarriedhisnurse,went

tomedicalschool,andestablishedathrivingpracticeinAmerica.

Overtheyears,hedevelopedagreatinterestinowls.Hethoughtofthemas

embodyingcharacteristicsheadmired,andhelikedtothinkofhimselfasowlish.

Besidesthemanyowlstatuettes that adorned his house,hehadanowl-related

guest book. It turned out that whenever he took a shine to someone, he asked

themtodrawanowlandwritesomethingtohiminthisbook.Asheextended

thisbooktomeandexplaineditssignificance,Ifeltbothhonoredandhorrified.

Mostly horrified. All the more because my creation was not to be buried

somewhereinthemiddleofthebook,butwastoadornitsverylastpage.

I won’t dwell on the intensity of my discomfort or the poor quality of my

artwork,althoughbothwerepainfullyclear.Itellthisstoryasapreludetothe

astonishmentandjoyIfeltwhenIreadDrawingontheRightSideoftheBrain.

Belowarethebefore-and-afterself-portraitsofpeoplewhotookashortcoursein

drawing from the author, Betty Edwards. That is, they are the self-portraits

drawn by the students when they entered her course and five days later when

theyhadcompletedit.

Aren’t they amazing? At the beginning, these people didn’t look as though

they had much artistic ability. Most of their pictures reminded me of my owl.

But only a few days later, everybody could really draw! And Edwards swears

thatthisisatypicalgroup.Itseemsimpossible.

Edwardsagreesthatmostpeopleviewdrawingasamagicalabilitythatonlya

select few possess, and that only a select few will ever possess. But this is

becausepeopledon’tunderstandthecomponents—thelearnablecomponents—

of drawing. Actually, she informs us, they are not drawing skills at all, but

seeingskills.Theyaretheabilitytoperceiveedges,spaces,relationships,lights

andshadows,andthewhole.Drawingrequiresustolearneachcomponentskill

and then combine them into one process. Some people simply pick up these

skillsin thenaturalcourseoftheir lives,whereasothershaveto workto learn

them and put them together. But as we can see from the “after” self-portraits,

everyonecandoit.

Here’s what this means: Just because some people can do something with

littleornotraining,itdoesn’tmeanthatotherscan’tdoit(andsometimesdoit

evenbetter)withtraining.Thisissoimportant,becausemany,manypeoplewith

thefixedmindsetthinkthatsomeone’searlyperformancetellsyouallyouneed

toknowabouttheirtalentandtheirfuture.

JacksonPollock

ItwouldhavebeenarealshameifpeoplediscouragedJacksonPollockforthat

reason.ExpertsagreethatPollockhadlittlenativetalentforart,andwhenyou

lookathisearlyproducts,itshowed.Theyalsoagreethathebecameoneofthe

greatest American painters of the twentieth century and that he revolutionized

modernart.HowdidhegofrompointAtopointB?

Twyla Tharp, the world-famous choreographer and dancer, wrote a book

called The Creative Habit. As you can guess from the title, she argues that

creativity is not a magical act of inspiration. It’s the result of hard work and

dedication.EvenforMozart.RememberthemovieAmadeus?Rememberhowit

showedMozarteasilychurningoutonemasterpieceafteranotherwhileSalieri,

his rival, is dying of envy? Well, Tharp worked on that movie and she says:

Hogwash!Nonsense!“Thereareno‘natural’geniuses.”

DedicationishowJacksonPollockgotfrompointAtopointB.Pollockwas

wildlyinlovewiththeideaofbeinganartist.Hethoughtaboutartallthetime,

andhediditallthetime.Becausehewassogungho,hegototherstotakehim

seriouslyandmentorhimuntilhemasteredalltherewastomasterandbeganto

produce startlingly original works. His “poured” paintings, each completely

unique, allowed him to draw from his unconscious mind and convey a huge

range of feeling. Several years ago, I was privileged to see a show of these

paintings at the Museum of Modern Art in New York. I was stunned by the

powerandbeautyofeachwork.

Cananyonedoanything?Idon’treallyknow.However,Ithinkwecannow

agreethatpeoplecandoalotmorethanfirstmeetstheeye.

THEDANGEROFPRAISEANDPOSITIVELABELS

If people have such potential to achieve, how can they gain faith in their

potential? How can we give them the confidence they need to go for it? How

about praising their ability in order to convey that they have what it takes? In

fact,morethan80percentofparentstoldusitwasnecessarytopraisechildren’s

abilitysoastofostertheirconfidenceandachievement.Youknow,itmakesa

lotofsense.

But then we began to worry. We thought about how people with the fixed

mindset already focus too much on their ability: “Is it high enough?” “Will it

look good?” Wouldn’t praising people’s ability focus them on it even more?

Wouldn’titbetellingthemthatthat’swhatwevalueand,evenworse,thatwe

can read their deep, underlying ability from their performance? Isn’t that

teachingthemthefixedmindset?

AdamGuettelhasbeencalledthecrownprinceandsaviorofmusicaltheater.

Heisthe grandsonofRichardRodgers, themanwho wrotethemusicto such

classics as Oklahoma! and Carousel. Guettel’s mother gushes about her son’s

genius. So does everyone else. “The talent is there and it’s major,” raved a

review in The New York Times. The question is whether this kind of praise

encouragespeople.

What’sgreataboutresearchisthatyoucanaskthesekindsofquestionsand

then go get the answers. So we conducted studies with hundreds of students,

mostlyearlyadolescents.Wefirstgaveeachstudentasetoftenfairlydifficult

problems from a nonverbal IQ test. They mostly did pretty well on these, and

whentheyfinishedwepraisedthem.

Wepraisedsomeofthestudentsfortheirability.Theyweretold:“Wow,you

got [say] eight right. That’s a really good score. You must be smart at this.”

TheywereintheAdamGuettelyou’re-so-talentedposition.

We praised other students for their effort: “Wow, you got [say] eight right.

That’sareallygoodscore.Youmusthaveworkedreallyhard.”Theywerenot

madetofeelthattheyhadsomespecialgift;theywerepraisedfordoingwhatit

takestosucceed.

Bothgroupswereexactlyequaltobeginwith.Butrightafterthepraise,they

began to differ. As we feared, the ability praise pushed students right into the

fixedmindset,andthey showed all the signsofit,too:When we gave thema

choice, they rejected a challenging new task that they could learn from. They

didn’twanttodoanythingthatcouldexposetheirflawsandcallintoquestion

theirtalent.

When Guettel was thirteen, he was all set to star in a Metropolitan Opera

broadcastandTVmovieofAmahlandtheNightVisitors.Hebowedout,saying

that his voice had broken. “I kind of faked that my voice was changing….I

didn’twanttohandlethepressure.”

Incontrast,whenstudentswerepraisedforeffort,90percentofthemwanted

thechallengingnewtaskthattheycouldlearnfrom.

Thenwegavestudentssomehardnewproblems,whichtheydidn’tdosowell

on. The ability kids now thought they were not smart after all. If success had

meanttheywereintelligent,thenless-than-successmeanttheyweredeficient.

Guettelechoesthis.“Inmyfamily,tobegoodistofail.Tobeverygoodisto

fail….Theonlythingnotafailureistobegreat.”

Theeffortkidssimplythoughtthedifficultymeant“Applymoreeffortortry

newstrategies.”Theydidn’tseeitasafailure,andtheydidn’tthinkitreflected

ontheirintellect.

What about the students’ enjoyment of the problems? After the success,

everyonelovedtheproblems,butafterthedifficultproblems,theabilitystudents

saiditwasn’tfunanymore.Itcan’tbefunwhenyourclaimtofame,yourspecial

talent,isinjeopardy.

Here’sAdamGuettel:“IwishIcouldjusthavefunandrelaxandnothavethe

responsibilityofthatpotentialtobesomekindofgreatman.”Aswiththekids

inourstudy,theburdenoftalentwaskillinghisenjoyment.

The effort-praised students still loved the problems, and many of them said

thatthehardproblemswerethemostfun.

We then looked at the students’ performance. After the experience with

difficulty,theperformanceoftheability-praisedstudentsplummeted,evenwhen

we gave them some more of the easier problems. Losing faith in their ability,

theyweredoingworsethanwhentheystarted.Theeffortkidsshowedbetterand

betterperformance.Theyhadusedthehardproblemstosharpentheirskills,so

thatwhentheyreturnedtotheeasierones,theywerewayahead.

SincethiswasakindofIQtest,youmightsaythatpraisingabilitylowered

thestudents’IQs.Andthatpraisingtheireffortraisedthem.

Guettelwasnotthriving.Hewasriddledwithobsessive-compulsiveticsand

bitten, bleeding fingers. “Spend a minute with him—it takes only one—and a

picture of the terror behind the tics starts to emerge,” says an interviewer.

Guettel has also fought serious, recurrent drug problems. Rather than

empowering him, the “gift” has filled him with fear and doubt. Rather than

fulfilling his talent, this brilliant composer has spent most of his life running

fromit.

Onethingishopeful—hisrecognitionthathehashisownlifecoursetofollow

thatisnotdictatedbyotherpeopleandtheirviewofhistalent.Onenighthehad

adreamabouthisgrandfather.“Iwaswalkinghimtoanelevator.Iaskedhimif

Iwasanygood.Hesaid,ratherkindly,‘Youhaveyourownvoice.’ ”

Is that voice finally emerging? For the score of The Light in the Piazza, an

intenselyromanticmusical,Guettelwonthe2005TonyAward.Willhetakeit

aspraisefortalentorpraiseforeffort?Ihopeit’sthelatter.

Therewasonemorefindinginourstudythatwasstrikinganddepressingat

thesametime.Wesaidtoeachstudent:“Youknow,we’regoingtogotoother

schools, and I bet the kids in those schools would like to know about the

problems.”Sowegavestudentsapagetowriteouttheirthoughts,butwealso

leftaspaceforthemtowritethescorestheyhadreceivedontheproblems.

Wouldyoubelievethatalmost40percentoftheability-praisedstudentslied

about their scores? And always in one direction. In the fixed mindset,

imperfections are shameful—especially if you’re talented—so they lied them

away.

What’ssoalarmingisthatwetookordinarychildrenandmadethemintoliars,

simplybytellingthemtheyweresmart.

Right after I wrote these paragraphs, I met with a young man who tutors

studentsfortheirCollegeBoardexams.Hehadcometoconsultwithmeabout

oneofhisstudents.Thisstudenttakespracticetestsandthenliestohimabout

herscore.Heissupposedtotutorheronwhatshedoesn’tknow,butshecan’t

tell him the truth about what she doesn’t know! And she is paying money for

this.

Sotellingchildrenthey’resmart,intheend,madethemfeeldumberandact

dumber,butclaimtheyweresmarter.Idon’tthinkthisiswhatwe’reaimingfor

when we put positive labels—“gifted,” “talented,” “brilliant”—on people. We

don’tmeantorobthemoftheirzestforchallengeandtheirrecipesforsuccess.

Butthat’sthedanger.

Hereisaletterfromamanwho’dreadsomeofmywork:

DearDr.Dweck,

Itwaspainfultoreadyourchapter…asIrecognizedmyself

therein.

AsachildIwasamemberofTheGiftedChildSocietyand

continuallypraisedformyintelligence.Now,afteralifetimeofnot

livinguptomypotential(I’m49),I’mlearningtoapplymyselftoa

task.Andalsotoseefailurenotasasignofstupiditybutaslackof

experienceandskill.Yourchapterhelpedseemyselfinanewlight.

SethAbrams

Thisisthedangerofpositivelabels.Therearealternatives,andIwillreturnto

themlaterinthechapteronparents,teachers,andcoaches.

NEGATIVELABELSANDHOWTHEYWORK

Iwasonceamathwhiz.Inhighschool,Igota99inalgebra,a99ingeometry,

anda99intrigonometry,andIwasonthemathteam.Iscoreduptherewiththe

boysontheairforcetestofvisual-spatialability,whichiswhyIgotrecruiting

brochuresfromtheairforceformanyyearstocome.

ThenIgotaMr.Hellman,ateacherwhodidn’tbelievegirlscoulddomath.

Mygradesdeclined,andInevertookmathagain.

IactuallyagreedwithMr.Hellman,butIdidn’tthinkitappliedtome.Other

girls couldn’t do math. Mr. Hellman thought it applied to me, too, and I

succumbed.

Everyoneknowsnegativelabelsarebad,soyou’dthinkthiswouldbeashort

section. But it isn’t a short section, because psychologists are learning how

negativelabelsharmachievement.

No one knows about negative ability labels like members of stereotyped

groups.Forexample,AfricanAmericansknowaboutbeingstereotypedaslower

in intelligence.And women know about being stereotyped as bad at math and

science.ButI’mnotsureeventheyknowhowcreepythesestereotypesare.

ResearchbyClaudeSteeleand Joshua Aronson shows that even checkinga

box to indicate your race or sex can trigger the stereotype in your mind and

lower your test score. Almost anything that reminds you that you’re black or

femalebeforetakingatestinthesubjectyou’resupposedtobebadatwilllower

your test score—a lot. In many of their studies, blacks are equal to whites in

their performance, and females are equal to males, when no stereotype is

evoked.Butjustputmoremalesintheroomwithafemalebeforeamathtest,

anddowngoesthefemale’sscore.

This is why. When stereotypes are evoked, they fill people’s minds with

distracting thoughts—with secret worries about confirming the stereotype.

Peopleusuallyaren’tevenawareofit,buttheydon’thaveenoughmentalpower

lefttodotheirbestonthetest.

Thisdoesn’thappentoeverybody,however.Itmainlyhappenstopeoplewho

areinafixedmindset.It’swhenpeoplearethinkingintermsoffixedtraitsthat

thestereotypesgettothem.Negativestereotypessay:“Youandyourgroupare

permanently inferior.” Only people in the fixed mindset resonate to this

message.

Sointhefixedmindset,bothpositiveandnegativelabelscanmesswithyour

mind.Whenyou’regivenapositivelabel,you’reafraidoflosingit,andwhen

you’rehitwithanegativelabel,you’reafraidofdeservingit.

When people are in a growth mindset, the stereotype doesn’t disrupt their

performance. The growth mindset takes the teeth out of the stereotype and

makes people better able to fight back. They don’t believe in permanent

inferiority. And if they are behind—well, then they’ll work harder, seek help,

andtrytocatchup.

Thegrowthmindsetalsomakespeopleabletotakewhattheycanandwhat

they need even from a threatening environment. We asked African American

students to write an essay for a competition. They were told that when they

finished, their essays would be evaluated by Edward Caldwell III, a

distinguishedprofessorwithanIvyLeaguepedigree.Thatis,arepresentativeof

thewhiteestablishment.

Edward Caldwell III’s feedback was quite critical, but also helpful—and

students’ reactions varied greatly. Those with a fixed mindset viewed it as a

threat,aninsult,oranattack.TheyrejectedCaldwellandhisfeedback.

Here’s what one student with the fixed mindset thought: “He’s mean, he

doesn’tgraderight,orhe’sobviouslybiased.Hedoesn’tlikeme.”

Saidanother:“Heisapompousasshole….Itappearsthathewassearchingfor

anythingtodiscreditthework.”

Andanother,deflectingthefeedbackwithblame:“Hedoesn’tunderstandthe

conciseness of my points. He thought it was vague because he was impatient

whenhereadit.Hedislikescreativity.”

NoneofthemwilllearnanythingfromEdwardCaldwell’sfeedback.

The students with the growth mindset may also have viewed him as a

dinosaur,buthewasadinosaurwhocouldteachthemsomething.

“Beforetheevaluation,hecameacrossasarrogantandoverdemanding.[After

theevaluation?]‘Fair’seemstobethefirstwordthatcomestomind….Itseems

likeanewchallenge.”

“He sounded like an arrogant, intimidating, and condescending man. [What

are your feelings about the evaluation?] The evaluation was seemingly honest

andspecific.Inthissense,theevaluationcouldbeastimulus…toproducebetter

work.”

“Heseemstobeproudtothepointofarrogance.[Theevaluation?]He was

intenselycritical….Hiscommentswerehelpfulandclear,however.IfeelIwill

learnmuchfromhim.”

The growth mindset allowed African American students to recruit Edward

CaldwellIIIfortheirowngoals.Theywereincollegetogetaneducationand,

pompousassholeornot,theyweregoingtogetit.

DoIBelongHere?

Asidefromhijackingpeople’sabilities,stereotypesalsododamagebymaking

people feel they don’t belong. Many minorities drop out of college and many

womendropoutofmathandsciencebecausetheyjustdon’tfeeltheyfitin.

To find out how this happens, we followed college women through their

calculus course. This is often when students decide whether math, or careers

involvingmath,arerightforthem.Overthesemester,weaskedthewomento

report their feelings about math and their sense of belonging in math. For

example,whentheythoughtaboutmath,didtheyfeellikeafull-fledgedmember

of the math community or did they feel like an outsider; did they feel

comfortableordidtheyfeelanxious;didtheyfeelgoodorbadabouttheirmath

skills?

Thewomenwiththegrowthmindset—thosewhothoughtmathabilitycould

beimproved—feltafairlystrongandstablesenseofbelonging.Andtheywere

able to maintain this even when they thought there was a lot of negative

stereotypinggoingaround.Onestudentdescribeditthisway:“Inamathclass,

[female]studentsweretoldtheywerewrongwhentheywerenot(theywerein

fact doing things in novel ways). It was absurd, and reflected poorly on the

instructor not to ‘see’ the students’ good reasoning. It was alright because we

wereworkingingroupsandwewereabletogive&receivesupportamongus

students….Wediscussedourinterestingideasamongourselves.”

Thestereotypingwasdisturbingtothem(asitshouldbe),buttheycouldstill

feel comfortable with themselves and confident about themselves in a math

setting.Theycouldfightback.

Butwomenwiththefixedmindset,asthesemesterworeon,feltashrinking

senseofbelonging.Andthemoretheyfeltthepresenceofstereotypingintheir

class,themoretheircomfortwithmathwithered.Onestudentsaidthathersense

ofbelongingfellbecause“Iwasdisrespectedbytheprofessorwithhiscomment,

‘thatwasagoodguess,’wheneverImadeacorrectanswerinclass.”

Thestereotypeoflowabilitywasabletoinvadethem—todefinethem—and

take away their comfort and confidence. I’m not saying it’s their fault by any

means. Prejudice is a deeply ingrained societal problem, and I do not want to

blamethevictimsofit.Iamsimplysayingthatagrowthmindsethelpspeopleto

see prejudice for what it is—someone else’s view of them—and to confront it

withtheirconfidenceandabilitiesintact.

TrustingPeople’sOpinions

Manyfemaleshaveaproblemnotonlywithstereotypes,butwithotherpeople’s

opinionsofthemingeneral.Theytrustthemtoomuch.

Oneday,IwentintoadrugstoreinHawaiitobuydentalflossanddeodorant,

and, after fetching my items, I went to wait in line. There were two women

togetherinfrontofmewaitingtopay.SinceIamanincurabletimestuffer,at

some point I decided to get my money ready for when my turn came. So I

walkedup,puttheitemswayonthesideofthecounter,andstartedtogatherup

thebillsthatwerestrewnthroughoutmypurse.Thetwowomenwentberserk.I

explainedthatinnowaywasItryingtocutinfrontofthem.Iwasjustpreparing

forwhenmyturncame.Ithoughtthematterwasresolved,butwhenIleftthe

store,theywerewaitingforme.Theygotinmyfaceandyelled,“You’reabad-

manneredperson!”

Myhusband,whohadseenthewholethingfrombeginningtoend,thought

theywerenuts.Buttheyhadastrangeanddisturbingeffectonme,andIhada

hardtimeshakingofftheirverdict.

This vulnerability afflicts many of the most able, high-achieving females.

Whyshouldthisbe?Whenthey’relittle,thesegirlsareoftensoperfect,andthey

delightineveryone’stellingthemso.They’resowellbehaved,they’resocute,

they’re so helpful, and they’re so precocious. Girls learn to trust people’s

estimatesofthem.“Gee,everyone’ssonicetome;iftheycriticizeme,itmust

be true.” Even females at the top universities in the country say that other

people’sopinionsareagoodwaytoknowtheirabilities.

Boysareconstantlybeingscoldedandpunished.Whenweobservedingrade

schoolclassrooms,wesawthatboysgoteighttimesmorecriticismthangirlsfor

theirconduct.Boysarealsoconstantlycallingeachotherslobsandmorons.The

evaluationslosealotoftheirpower.

Amalefriendoncecalledmeaslob.Hewasovertodinneratmyhouseand,

while we were eating, I dripped some food on my blouse. “That’s because

you’resuchaslob,”hesaid.Iwasshocked.ItwasthenthatIrealizednoonehad

eversaidanythinglikethattome.Malessayittoeachotherallthetime.Itmay

notbeakindthingtosay,eveninjest,butitcertainlymakesthemthinktwice

beforebuyingintootherpeople’sevaluations.

Evenwhenwomenreachthepinnacleofsuccess,otherpeople’sattitudescan

getthem.FrancesConleyisoneofthemosteminentneurosurgeonsintheworld.

In fact, she was the first woman ever given tenure in neurosurgery at an

Americanmedicalschool.Yetcarelesscommentsfrommalecolleagues—even

assistants—could fill her with self-doubt. One day during surgery, a man

condescendingly called her “honey.” Instead of returning the compliment, she

questioned herself. “ Is a honey,” she wondered, “especially this honey, good

enoughandtalentedenoughtobedoingthisoperation?”

The fixed mindset, plus stereotyping, plus women’s trust in other people’s

assessments of them: All of these contribute to the gender gap in math and

science.

Thatgapispainfullyevidentintheworldofhightech.JulieLynch,abudding

techie,wasalreadywritingcomputercodewhenshewasinjuniorhighschool.

Herfatherandtwobrothersworkedintechnology,andshelovedit,too.Then

her computer programming teacher criticized her. She had written a computer

program and the program ran just fine, but he didn’t like a shortcut she had

taken. Her interest evaporated. Instead, she went on to study recreation and

publicrelations.

Math and science need to be made more hospitable places for women. And

womenneedallthegrowthmindsettheycangettotaketheirrightfulplacesin

thesefields.

WhenThingsGoRight

Butlet’slookatthetimestheprocessgoesright.

The Polgar family has produced three of the most successful female chess

playersever.How?SaysSusan,oneofthethree,“Myfatherbelievesthatinnate

talentisnothing,that[success]is99percenthardwork.Iagreewithhim.”The

youngestdaughter,Judit,isnowconsideredthebestwomanchessplayerofall

time.Shewasnottheonewiththemosttalent.Susanreports,“Juditwasaslow

starter,butveryhardworking.”

A colleague of mine has two daughters who are math whizzes. One is a

graduatestudentinmathatatopuniversity.Theotherwasthefirstgirltorank

numberoneinthecountryonanelitemathtest,wonanationwidemathcontest,

and is now a neuroscience major at a top university. What’s their secret? Is it

passed down in the genes? I believe it’s passed down in the mindset. It’s the

mostgrowth-mindsetfamilyI’veeverseen.

Infact,theirfatherappliedthegrowthmindsettoeverything.I’llneverforget

aconversationwehadsomeyearsago.Iwassingleatthetime,andheaskedme

whatmyplanwasforfindingapartner.HewasaghastwhenIsaidIdidn’thave

aplan.“Youwouldn’texpectyourworktogetdonebyitself,”hesaid.“Whyis

thisanydifferent?”Itwasinconceivabletohimthatyoucouldhaveagoaland

nottakestepstomakeithappen.

In short, the growth mindset lets people—even those who are targets of

negative labels—use and develop their minds fully. Their heads are not filled

with limiting thoughts, a fragile sense of belonging, and a belief that other

peoplecandefinethem.

GrowYourMindset

• Thinkaboutyourhero.Doyouthinkofthispersonas

someonewithextraordinaryabilitieswhoachievedwithlittle

effort?Nowgofindoutthetruth.Findoutthetremendous

effortthatwentintotheiraccomplishment—andadmirethem

more.

• Thinkoftimesotherpeopleoutdidyouandyoujustassumed

theyweresmarterormoretalented.Nowconsidertheidea

thattheyjustusedbetterstrategies,taughtthemselvesmore,

practicedharder,andworkedtheirwaythroughobstacles.

Youcandothat,too,ifyouwantto.

• Aretheresituationswhereyougetstupid—whereyou

disengageyourintelligence?Nexttimeyou’reinoneofthose

situations,getyourselfintoagrowthmindset—thinkabout

learningandimprovement,notjudgment—andhookitback

up.

• Doyoulabelyourkids?Thisoneistheartistandthatoneis

thescientist.Nexttime,rememberthatyou’renothelping

them—eventhoughyoumaybepraisingthem.Remember

ourstudywherepraisingkids’abilityloweredtheirIQscores.

Findagrowth-mindsetwaytocomplimentthem.

• Morethanhalfofoursocietybelongstoanegatively

stereotypedgroup.Firstyouhaveallthewomen,andthen

youhavealltheothergroupswhoarenotsupposedtobe

goodatsomethingorother.Givethemthegiftofthegrowth

mindset.Createanenvironmentthatteachesthegrowth

mindsettotheadultsandchildreninyourlife,especiallythe

oneswhoaretargetsofnegativestereotypes.Evenwhenthe

negativelabelcomesalong,they’llremaininchargeoftheir

learning.

Chapter4

SPORTS:THEMINDSETOFACHAMPION

Insports,everybodybelievesintalent.Even—orespecially—theexperts.Infact,

sportsiswheretheideaof“anatural”comesfrom—someonewholookslikean

athlete,moveslikeanathlete,andisanathlete,allwithouttrying.Sogreatisthe

beliefinnaturaltalentthatmanyscoutsandcoachessearchonlyfornaturals,and

teamswillviewitheachothertopayexorbitantamountstorecruitthem.

BillyBeanewasanatural.EveryoneagreedhewasthenextBabeRuth.

ButBillyBeanelackedonething.Themindsetofachampion.

AsMichaelLewistellsusinMoneyball,bythetimeBeanewasasophomore

inhighschool,hewasthehighestscoreronthebasketballteam,thequarterback

ofthefootballteam,andthebesthitteronthebaseballteam,batting.500inone

ofthetoughestleaguesinthecountry.Histalentwasrealenough.

Buttheminutethingswentwrong,Beanesearchedforsomethingtobreak.“

Itwasn’tmerely thathedidn’tlike tofail;it wasasifhe didn’tknowhowto

fail.”

Ashemovedupinbaseballfromtheminorleaguestothemajors,thingsgot

worse and worse. Each at-bat became a nightmare, another opportunity for

humiliation,andwitheverybotchedat-bat,hewenttopieces.Asonescoutsaid,

“Billywasoftheopinionthatheshouldnevermakeanout.”Soundfamiliar?

Did Beane try to fix his problems in constructive ways? No, of course not,

becausethisisastoryofthefixedmindset.Naturaltalentshouldnotneedeffort.

Effortisfortheothers,thelessendowed.Naturaltalentdoesnotaskforhelp.It

is an admission of weakness. In short, the natural does not analyze his

deficienciesandcoach orpracticethemaway. Theveryideaof deficienciesis

terrifying.

Beingsoimbuedwiththefixedmindset,Beanewastrapped.Trappedbyhis

hugetalent.Beanetheplayerneverrecoveredfromthefixedmindset,butBeane

theincrediblysuccessfulmajor-leagueexecutivedid.Howdidthishappen?

TherewasanotherplayerwholivedandplayedsidebysidewithBeaneinthe

minors and in the majors, Lenny Dykstra. Dykstra did not have a fraction of

Beane’s physical endowment or “natural ability,” but Beane watched him in

awe.AsBeanelaterdescribed,“Hehadnoconceptoffailure….AndIwasthe

opposite.”

Beanecontinues,“IstartedtogetasenseofwhatabaseballplayerwasandI

couldseeitwasn’tme.ItwasLenny.”

Ashewatched,listened,andmulleditover,itdawnedonBeanethatmindset

wasmoreimportantthantalent.Andnotlongafterthat,aspartofagroupthat

pioneered a radically new approach to scouting and managing, he came to

believethat scoringruns—thewholepointof baseball—wasmuchmore about

processthanabouttalent.

Armed with these insights, Beane, as general manager of the 2002 Oakland

Athletics, led his team to a season of 103 victories—winning the division

championshipandalmostbreakingtheAmericanLeaguerecordforconsecutive

wins. The team had the second-lowest payroll in baseball! They didn’t buy

talent,theyboughtmindset.

THEIDEAOFTHENATURAL

NowYouSeeIt,NowYouDon’t

Physicalendowmentisnotlikeintellectualendowment.It’svisible.Size,build,

agility are all visible. Practice and training are also visible, and they produce

visibleresults.Youwouldthinkthatthiswoulddispelthemythofthenatural.

Youcould seeMuggsyBoguesatfivefootthreeplayingNBA basketball,and

DougFlutie,thesmallquarterbackwhoplayedfortheNewEnglandPatriotsand

theSanDiegoChargers.YoucouldseePeteGray,theone-armedbaseballplayer

whomadeittothemajorleagues.BenHogan,oneofthegreatestgolfersofall

time, who was completely lacking in grace. Glenn Cunningham, the great

runner, who had badly burned and damaged legs. Larry Bird and his lack of

swiftness.Youcanseethesmallorgracelessoreven“disabled”oneswhomake

it,andthegod-likespecimenswhodon’t.Shouldn’tthistellpeoplesomething?

Boxingexpertsreliedonphysicalmeasurements,called“talesofthetape,”to

identifynaturals.Theyincludedmeasurementsofthefighter’sfist,reach,chest

expansion,andweight.MuhammadAlifailedthesemeasurements.Hewasnota

natural.Hehadgreatspeedbuthedidn’thavethephysiqueofagreatfighter,he

didn’t have the strength, and he didn’t have the classical moves. In fact, he

boxed all wrong. He didn’t block punches with his arms and elbows. He

punchedinrallieslikeanamateur.Hekepthisjawexposed.Hepulledbackhis

torso to evade the impact of oncoming punches, which Jose Torres said was

“like someone in the middle of a train track trying to avoid being hit by an

oncoming train, not by moving to one or the other side of the track, but by

runningbackwards.”

Sonny Liston, Ali’s adversary, was a natural. He had it all—the size, the

strength,andtheexperience.Hispowerwaslegendary.Itwasunimaginablethat

AlicouldbeatSonnyListon.Thematchupwassoludicrousthatthearenawas

onlyhalffullforthefight.

Butasidefromhisquickness,Ali’sbrilliancewashismind.Hisbrains,nothis

brawn.Hesizeduphisopponentandwentforhismentaljugular.Notonlydid

he study Liston’s fighting style, but he closely observed what kind of person

Liston was out of the ring: “I read everything I could where he had been

interviewed.Italkedwithpeoplewhohadbeenaroundhimorhadtalkedwith

him.Iwouldlayinbedandputallofthethingstogetherandthinkaboutthem,

andtrytogetapictureofhowhismindworked.”Andthenheturneditagainst

him.

WhydidAliappearto“gocrazy”beforeeachfight?Because,Torressays,he

knewthataknockoutpunchistheonetheydon’tseecoming.Alisaid,“Liston

had to believe that I was crazy. That I was capable of doing anything. He

couldn’tseenothingtomeatallbutmouthandthat’sallIwantedhimtosee!”

Floatlikeabutterfly,

Stinglikeabee

Yourhandscan’thit

Whatyoureyescan’tsee.

Ali’svictoryoverListonisboxinghistory.Afamousboxingmanagerreflects

onAli:

“ He was a paradox. His physical performances in the ring were

absolutely wrong….Yet, his brain was always in perfect working

condition.” “He showed us all,” he continued with a broad smile

writtenacrosshisface,“thatallvictoriescomefromhere,”hitting

his forehead with his index finger. Then he raised a pair of fists,

saying:“Notfromhere.”

This didn’t change people’s minds about physical endowment. No, we just

lookbackatAlinow,withourhindsight,andseethebodyofagreatboxer.It

wasgravythathismindwassosharpandthathemadeupamusingpoems,but

we still think his greatness resided in his physique. And we don’t understand

howtheexpertsfailedtoseethatgreatnessrightfromthestart.

MichaelJordan

Michael Jordan wasn’t a natural, either. He was the hardest-working athlete,

perhapsinthehistoryofsport.

It is well known that Michael Jordan was cut from the high school varsity

team—welaughatthecoachwhocuthim.Hewasn’trecruitedbythecollegehe

wantedtoplayfor(NorthCarolinaState).Well,weren’ttheyfoolish?Hewasn’t

draftedbythefirsttwoNBAteamsthatcouldhavechosenhim.Whatablooper!

Becausenowweknowhewasthegreatestbasketballplayerever,andwethink

it should have been obvious from the start. When we look at him we see

MICHAELJORDAN.ButatthatpointhewasonlyMichaelJordan.

WhenJordanwascutfromthevarsityteam,hewasdevastated.Hismother

says,“Itoldhimtogobackanddisciplinehimself.”Boy,didhelisten.Heused

to leave the house at six in the morning to go practice before school. At the

University of North Carolina, he constantly worked on his weaknesses—his

defensivegameandhisballhandlingandshooting.Thecoachwastakenaback

byhiswillingnesstoworkharderthananyoneelse.Once,aftertheteamlostthe

lastgameoftheseason,Jordanwentandpracticedhisshotsforhours.Hewas

preparingforthenextyear.Evenattheheightofhissuccessandfame—afterhe

had made himself into an athletic genius—his dogged practice remained

legendary. Former Bulls assistant coach John Bach called him “a genius who

constantlywantstoupgradehisgenius.”

ForJordan,successstemsfromthemind.“Thementaltoughnessandtheheart

are a lot stronger than some of the physical advantages you might have. I’ve

always said that and I’ve always believed that.” But other people don’t. They

lookatMichaelJordanandtheyseethephysicalperfectionthatledinevitablyto

hisgreatness.

TheBabe

What about Babe Ruth? Now, he was clearly no vessel of human physical

perfection. Here was the guy with the famous appetites and a giant stomach

bulgingoutofhisYankeeuniform.Wow,doesn’tthatmakehimevenmoreofa

natural?Didn’thejustcarouseallnightandthenkindofsauntertotheplatethe

nextdayandpunchouthomeruns?

TheBabewasnotanatural,either.Atthebeginningofhisprofessionalcareer,

BabeRuthwasnotthatgoodahitter.Hehadalotofpower,powerthatcame

fromhistotalcommitmenteachtimeheswungthebat.Whenheconnected,it

wasbreathtaking,buthewashighlyinconsistent.

It’struethathecouldconsumeastoundingamountsofliquorandunheard-of

amounts of food. After a huge meal, he could eat one or more whole pies for

dessert.Buthecouldalsodisciplinehimselfwhenhehadto.Manywinters,he

workedouttheentireoff-seasonatthegymtobecomemorefit.Infact,afterthe

1925season,whenitlookedasthoughhewaswashedup,hereallycommitted

himselftogettinginshape,anditworked.From1926through1931,hebatted

.354,averaging50homerunsayearand155runsbattedin.RobertCreamer,his

biographer,says,“Ruthputonthefinestdisplayofsustainedhittingthatbaseball

haseverseen….Fromtheashesof1925,BabeRuthroselikearocket.”Through

discipline.

He also loved to practice. In fact, when he joined the Boston Red Sox, the

veteransresentedhimforwantingtotakebattingpracticeeveryday.Hewasn’t

justarookie;hewasarookiepitcher.Whodidhethinkhewas,tryingtotake

batting practice? One time, later in his career, he was disciplined and was

banned from a game. That was one thing. But they wouldn’t let him practice,

either,andthatreallyhurt.

Ty Cobb argued that being a pitcher helped Ruth develop his hitting. Why

would being a pitcher help his batting? “ He could experiment at the plate,”

Cobbsaid.“Noonecaresmuchif a pitcher strikes out or looks badatbat,so

Ruthcouldtakethatbigswing.Ifhemissed,itdidn’tmatter….Astimewenton,

helearnedmoreandmoreabouthowtocontrolthatbigswingandputthewood

ontheball.Bythetimehebecameafulltimeoutfielder,hewasready.”

Yet we cling fast to what Stephen Jay Gould calls “the common view that

ballplayers are hunks of meat, naturally and effortlessly displaying the talents

thatnatureprovided.”

TheFastestWomenonEarth

WhataboutWilmaRudolph,hailedasthefastestwomanonearthaftershewon

threegoldmedalsforsprintsandrelayinthe1960RomeOlympics?Shewasfar

fromaphysicalwonderasayoungster.Shewasaprematurebaby,thetwentieth

oftwenty-twochildrenborntoherparents,andaconstantlysickchild.Atfour

yearsofage,shenearlydiedofalongstrugglewithdoublepneumonia,scarlet

fever,andpolio(!),emergingwithamostlyparalyzedleftleg.Doctorsgaveher

little hope of ever using it again. For eight years, she vigorously pursued

physicaltherapy,untilatagetwelveshe shedherlegbraceandbegantowalk

normally.

Ifthiswasn’talessonthatphysicalskillscouldbedeveloped,whatwas?She

immediatelywentandappliedthatlessontobasketballandtrack,althoughshe

losteveryracesheenteredinherfirstofficialtrackmeet.Afterherincredible

career,shesaid,“Ijustwanttoberememberedasahardworkinglady.”

WhataboutJackieJoyner-Kersee,hailedasthegreatestfemaleathleteofall

time?Between1985andthebeginningof1996,shewoneveryheptathlonshe

competedin.What exactlyisa heptathlon?It’sagrueling two-day,seven-part

eventconsistingofa100-meterhurdlesrace,thehighjump,thejavelinthrow,a

200-metersprint,thelongjump,theshotput,andan800-meterrun.Nowonder

thewinnergetstobecalledthebestfemaleathleteintheworld.Alongtheway,

Joyner-Kerseeearnedthesixhighestscoresinthehistoryofthesport,setworld

records,andwontwoworldchampionshipsaswellastwoOlympicgoldmedals

(sixifwecounttheonesinotherevents).

Wassheanatural?Talentshehad,butwhenshestartedtrack,shefinishedin

lastplaceforquitesometime.Thelongersheworked,thefastershegot,butshe

still didn’t win any races. Finally, she began to win. What changed? “Some

mightattributemytransformationtothelawsofheredity….ButIthinkitwasmy

reward for all those hours of work on the bridle path, the neighborhood

sidewalksandtheschoolhousecorridors.”

Sharing the secret of her continued success, she says, “ There is something

aboutseeingmyselfimprovethatmotivatesandexcitesme.It’sthatwaynow,

aftersixOlympicmedalsandfiveworldrecords.AnditwasthewayIwasin

juniorhigh,juststartingtoentertrackmeets.”

Her last two medals (a world-championship and an Olympic medal) came

duringanasthmaattackandasevere,painfulhamstringinjury.Itwasnotnatural

talenttakingitscourse.Itwasmindsethavingitssay.

NaturalsShouldn’tNeedEffort

Didyouknowtherewasonceastrongbeliefthatyoucouldn’tphysicallytrain

forgolf,andthatifyoubuiltyourstrengthyouwouldloseyour“touch”?Until

TigerWoodscamealongwithhisworkoutregimesandfiercepracticehabitsand

woneverytournamenttherewastowin.

Insome cultures,people whotriedtogobeyond theirnatural talentthrough

trainingreceivedsharpdisapproval.Youweresupposedtoacceptyourstationin

life.ThesecultureswouldhavehatedMauryWills.Willswasaneagerbaseball

playerin the1950s and’60swithadreamtobeamajorleaguer.Hisproblem

wasthathishittingwasn’tgoodenough,sowhentheDodgerssignedhim,they

senthim downtotheminorleagues.Heproudly announcedtohisfriends,“In

twoyears,I’mgoingtobeinBrooklynplayingwithJackieRobinson.”

Hewaswrong.Despitehisoptimisticpredictionandgruelingdaily practice,

helanguishedintheminorsforeightandahalfyears.Attheseven-and-a-half-

yearmark,theteammanagermadeabattingsuggestion,tellingWills,“You’re

inaseven-and-a-half-yearslump,youhavenothingtolose.”Shortlythereafter,

when the Dodger shortstop broke his toe, Wills was called up. He had his

chance.

Hisbattingwasstill not good enough.Notreadytogive up, he went tothe

first-basecoachfor help; they workedtogetherseveralhours a dayasidefrom

Wills’sregularpractice. Still notgoodenough.Even the grittyWillswasnow

readytoquit,butthefirst-basecoachrefusedtolethim.Nowthatthemechanics

wereinplace,Willsneededworkonhismind.

Hebegantohit—and,withhisgreatspeed,hebegantostealbases.Hestudied

thethrowsoftheopposingpitchersandcatchers,figuringoutthebestmomentto

steal a base. He developed sudden, powerful takeoffs and effective slides. His

stealingbegantodistractthepitchers,throwoffthecatchers,andthrillthefans.

WillswentontobreakTyCobb’srecordforstolenbases,arecordunchallenged

forforty-sevenyears.Thatseason,hewasvotedthemostvaluableplayerinthe

NationalLeague.

SportsIQ

You would think the sports world would have to see the relation between

practiceandimprovement—andbetween the mindandperformance—andstop

harpingsomuchoninnatephysicaltalent.Yetit’salmostasiftheyrefusetosee.

Perhaps it’s because, as Malcolm Gladwell suggests, people prize natural

endowment over earned ability. As much as our culture talks about individual

effortandself-improvement,deepdown,heargues,wereverethenaturals.We

liketothinkofourchampionsandidolsassuperheroeswhowereborndifferent

fromus.Wedon’tliketothinkofthemasrelativelyordinarypeoplewhomade

themselvesextraordinary.Whynot?Tomethatissomuchmoreamazing.

Evenwhenexpertsarewillingtorecognizetheroleofthemind,theycontinue

toinsistthatit’sallinnate!

ThisreallyhitmewhenIcameuponanarticleaboutMarshallFaulk,thegreat

runningbackfor theSt.LouisRams footballteam.Faulk hadjustbecome the

firstplayertogainacombinedtwothousandrushingandreceivingyardsinfour

consecutiveseasons.

Thearticle,writtenontheeveofthe2002SuperBowl,talkedaboutFaulk’s

uncannyskillatknowingwhereeveryplayeronthefieldis,evenintheswirling

chaosoftwenty-tworunningandfallingplayers.Henotonlyknowswherethey

are, but he also knows what they are doing, and what they are about to do.

Accordingtohisteammates,he’sneverwrong.

Incredible. How does he do it? As Faulk tells it, he spent years and years

watchingfootball.Inhighschoolheevengotajobasaballparkvendor,which

hehated,inordertowatchprofootball.Ashewatched,hewasalwaysasking

thequestionWhy?:“Whyarewerunningthisplay?”“Whyareweattackingit

this way?” “Why are they doing that?” “Why are they doing this?” “That

question,”Faulksays,“basicallygotmeinvolvedinfootballinamorein-depth

way.” As a pro, he never stopped asking why and probing deeper into the

workingsofthegame.

Clearly,Faulkhimselfseeshisskillsastheproductofhisinsatiablecuriosity

andstudy.

How do players and coaches see it? As a gift. “Marshall has the highest

football IQ of any position player I’ve ever played with,” says a veteran

teammate. Other teammates describe his ability to recognize defensive

alignmentsflawlesslyasa“savant’sgift.”Inaweofhisarrayofskills,onecoach

explained:“Ittakesaveryinnatefootballintelligencetodoallthat.”

“CHARACTER”

But aren’t there some naturals, athletes who really seem to have “it” from the

start? Yes, and as it was for Billy Beane and John McEnroe, sometimes it’s a

curse.Withallthepraisefortheirtalentandwithhowlittlethey’veneededto

work or stretch themselves, they can easily fall into a fixed mindset. Bruce

Jenner(nowCaitlynJenner),1976Olympicgoldmedalistinthedecathlon,says,

“IfIwasn’tdyslexic,Iprobablywouldn’thavewontheGames.IfIhadbeena

better reader, then that would have come easily, sports would have come

easily…and I never would have realized that the way you get ahead in life is

hardwork.”

Thenaturals,carriedawaywiththeirsuperiority,don’tlearnhowtoworkhard

orhowtocopewithsetbacks.ThisisthestoryofPedroMartinez,thebrilliant

pitcher then with the Boston Red Sox, who self-destructed when they needed

himmost.Butit’sanevenlargerstorytoo,astoryaboutcharacter.

A group of sportswriters from The New York Times and The Boston Globe

wereontheDeltashuttletoBoston.SowasI.TheywereheadedtoGame3of

the2003AmericanLeagueplay-offseriesbetweentheNewYorkYankeesand

theBostonRedSox.Theyweretalkingaboutcharacter,andtheyallagreed—the

Bostonwritersreluctantly—thattheYankeeshadit.

Amongotherthings, they rememberedwhattheYankees had done forNew

York two years before. It was October 2001, and New Yorkers had just lived

through September 11. I was there and we were devastated. We needed some

hope.ThecityneededtheYankeestogoforit—togofortheWorldSeries.But

theYankeeshadlivedthroughit,too,andtheywereinjuredandexhausted.They

seemedtohavenothingleft.Idon’tknowwheretheygotitfrom,buttheydug

downdeepandtheypolishedoffoneteamafteranother,eachwinbringingusa

littlebitbacktolife,eachonegivingusalittlemorehopeforthefuture.Fueled

byourneed,theybecametheAmericanLeagueEastchamps,thentheAmerican

League champs, and then they were in the World Series, where they made a

valiantrunandalmostpulled itoff.EveryonehatestheYankees.It’stheteam

thewholecountryrootsagainst.IgrewuphatingtheYankees,too,butafterthat

Ihadtolovethem.Thisiswhatthesportswritersmeantbycharacter.

Character, the sportswriters said. They know it when they see it—it’s the

abilitytodigdownandfindthestrengthevenwhenthingsaregoingagainstyou.

The very next day, Pedro Martinez, the dazzling but over-pampered Boston

pitcher,showedwhatcharactermeant.Byshowingwhatitisn’t.

No one could have wanted this American League Championship more than

theBostonRedSox.Theyhadn’twonaWorldSeriesineighty-fiveyears,ever

sincethecurseoftheBambino—thatis,eversinceSoxownerHarryFrazeesold

BabeRuthtotheYankeesformoney tofinanceaBroadwayshow.Itwasbad

enoughthathewassellingthebestleft-handedpitcherinbaseball(whichRuth

wasatthetime),buthewassellinghimtothedespisedenemy.

The Yankees went on to dominate baseball, winning, it seemed, endless

WorldSeries.MeanwhileBostonmadeittofourWorldSeriesandseveralplay-

offs,buttheyalwayslost.Andtheyalwayslostinthemosttragicwaypossible.

Bycomingachinglyneartovictoryandthenhavingameltdown.Here,finally,

wasanotherchancetofightoffthecurseanddefeattheirarchrivals.Iftheywon,

theywouldmakethattriptotheWorldSeriesandtheYankeeswouldstayhome.

PedroMartinezwastheirhope.Infact,earlierintheseason,hehadcursedthe

curse.

Yetafterpitchingabeautifulgame,Martinezwaslosinghisleadandfalling

behind. What did he do then? He hit a batter with the ball (Karim Garcia),

threatened to bean another (Jorge Posada), and hurled a seventy-two-year-old

mantotheground(YankeecoachDonZimmer).

As New York Times writer Jack Curry wrote: “We knew we were going to

have Pedro vs. Roger [Clemens] on a memorable afternoon at Fenway

Park….But no one expected to watch Pedro against Garcia, Pedro against

Posada,PedroagainstZimmer.”

EventheBostonwriterswereaghast.DanShaughnessy,oftheGlobe,asked:

“Which one would you rather have now, Red Sox fans? Roger Clemens, who

kepthiscomposureandbehavedlikeaprofessionalSaturdaynight,winningthe

gameforhisteamdespitehisobviousanger?OrMartinez,thebabywhohitsa

guyafterheblowsthelead,thenpointsathisheadandatYankeescatcherJorge

Posada, threatening, ‘You’re next’?…Red Sox fans don’t like to hear this, but

Martinez was an embarrassment Saturday, and a disgrace to baseball. He gets

awaywith itbecausehe’sPedro.AndtheSox frontofficeenableshim.Could

Martinezonetimestandupandadmithe’swrong?”

LikeBillyBeane,PedroMartinezdidnotknowhowtotoleratefrustration,did

notknowhowtodigdownandturnanimportantsetbackintoanimportantwin.

Nor,likeBillyBeane,couldheadmithisfaultsandlearnfromthem.Becausehe

threwhistantruminsteadofdoingthejob,theYankeeswonthegameandwent

ontowintheplay-offbyonegame.

Thesportswritersontheplaneagreedthatcharacterisall.Buttheyconfessed

that they didn’t understand where it comes from. Yet I think by now we’re

gettingtheideathatcharactergrowsoutofmindset.

We now know that there is a mindset in which people are enmeshed in the

ideaoftheirowntalentandspecialness.Whenthingsgowrong,theylosetheir

focus and their ability, putting everything they want—and in this case,

everythingtheteamandthefanssodesperatelywant—injeopardy.

We also know that there is a mindset that helps people cope well with

setbacks, points them to good strategies, and leads them to act in their best

interest.

Wait. The story’s not over. One year later, the Sox and the Yankees went

head-to-head again. Whoever won four games out of the seven would be the

AmericanLeagueChampionsandwouldtakethattriptotheWorldSeries.The

Yankeeswonthefirstthreegames,andBoston’shumiliatingfateseemedsealed

onceagain.

ButthatyearBostonhadputtheirprimadonnasonnotice.Theytradedone,

triedtotradeanother(noonewantedhim),andsentoutthemessage:Thisisa

team,notabunchofstars.Weworkhardforeachother.

Fourgameslater,theBostonRedSoxweretheAmericanLeagueChampions.

AndthentheWorldChampions.Itwasthefirsttimesince1904thatBostonhad

beatentheYankeesinachampionshipseries,showingtwothings.First,thatthe

cursewasover.Andsecond,thatcharactercanbelearned.

MoreAboutCharacter

Let’stakeitfromthetopwithPeteSamprasandthegrowthmindset.In2000,

SampraswasatWimbledon,tryingforhisthirteenthGrandSlamtennisvictory.

If he won, he would break Roy Emerson’s record of twelve wins in top

tournaments. Although Sampras managed to make it to the finals, he had not

played that well in the tournament and was not optimistic about his chances

againsttheyoung,powerfulPatrickRafter.

Sampraslostthefirstset,andwasabouttolosethesecondset.Hewasdown

4–1 in the tiebreaker. Even he said, “I really felt like it was slipping away.”

WhatwouldMcEnroehavedone?WhatwouldPedroMartinezhavedone?What

didSamprasdo?

AsWilliamRhodenputsit,“He…searchedforaframeofreferencethatcould

carryhimthrough.”Samprassays,“Whenyou’resittingonthechangeoveryou

thinkofpastmatchesthatyou’velostthefirstset…camebackandwonthenext

three. There’s time. You reflect on your past experiences, being able to get

throughit.”

Suddenly, Sampras had a five-point run. Then two more. He had won the

secondsetandhewasalive.

“Last night,” Rhoden says, “Sampras displayed all the qualitiesof the hero:

the loss in the first set, vulnerability near defeat, then a comeback and a final

triumph.”

JackieJoyner-Kerseetalkedherselfthrough anasthmaattackduringherlast

world championship. She was in the 800-meter race, the last event of the

heptathlon,whenshefelttheattackcomingon.“Justkeeppumpingyourarms,”

sheinstructedherself.“It’snotthatbad,sokeepgoing.Youcanmakeit.You’re

not going to have a full-blown attack. You have enough air. You’ve got this

thing won….Just run as hard as you can in this last 200 meters, Jackie.” She

instructed herself all the way to victory. “I have to say this is my greatest

triumph, considering the competition and the ups and downs I was going

through….IfIreallywantedit,Ihadtopullittogether.”

InherlastOlympics,thedreadedthinghappened.Aserioushamstringinjury

forcedhertodropoutoftheheptathlon.Shewasdevastated.Shewasnolonger

a contender in her signature event, but would she be a contender in the long

jump a few days later? Her first five jumps said no. They were nowhere near

medallevel.Butthesixthjumpwonherabronzemedal,morepreciousthanher

goldones.“Thestrengthforthatsixthjumpcamefrommyassortedheartbreaks

over the years…I’d collected all my pains and turned them into one mighty

performance.”

Joyner-Kersee, too, displayed all the qualities of a hero: the loss, the

vulnerabilityneardefeat,thenacomebackandafinaltriumph.

Character,Heart,Will,andtheMindofaChampion

Itgoesbydifferentnames,butit’sthesamething.It’swhatmakesyoupractice,

andit’swhatallowsyoutodigdownandpullitoutwhenyoumostneedit.

RememberhowMcEnroetoldusallthethingsthatwentwrongtomakehim

loseeachmatchhelost?Therewasthetimeitwascoldandthetimeitwashot,

thetimehewasjealousandthetimeshewasupset,andthemany,manytimeshe

wasdistracted.But,asBillieJeanKingtellsus,themarkofachampionisthe

abilitytowinwhenthingsarenotquiteright—whenyou’renotplayingwelland

your emotions are not the right ones. Here’s how she learned what being a

championmeant.

King was in the finals at Forest Hills playing against Margaret Smith (later

MargaretSmithCourt),whowasatthepeakofhergreatness.Kinghadplayed

hermorethanadozentimesandhadbeatenheronlyonce.Inthefirstset,King

playedfabulously.Shedidn’tmissavolleyandbuiltanicelead.Suddenly,the

setwasover.Smithhadwonit.

Inthesecondset,Kingagainbuiltacommandingleadandwasservingtowin

theset.Beforesheknewit,Smithhadwonthesetandthematch.

Atfirst,Kingwasperplexed.Shehadneverbuiltsuchacommandingleadin

suchanimportantmatch.ButthenshehadaEureka!moment.Allatonce,she

understoodwhatachampionwas:someonewhocouldraisetheirlevelofplay

whentheyneededto.Whenthematchisontheline,theysuddenly“getaround

threetimestougher.”

JackieJoyner-KerseehadherEureka!momenttoo.Shewasfifteenyearsold

andcompetingintheheptathlonattheAAUJuniorOlympics.Everythingnow

dependedonthelastevent,the800-meterrace,aneventshedreaded.Shewas

exhaustedandshewascompetingagainstanexpertdistancerunnerwhosetimes

shehadnevermatched.Shedidthistime.“Ifeltakindofhigh.I’dproventhatI

couldwinif Iwanteditbadly enough….Thatwinshowed methatIcould not

onlycompetewiththebestathletesinthecountry,Icouldwillmyselftowin.”

Oftencalledthebestwomansoccerplayerintheworld,MiaHammsaysshe

wasalwaysasked,“Mia,whatisthemostimportantthingforasoccerplayerto

have?” With no hesitation, she answered, “Mental toughness.” And she didn’t

mean some innate trait. When eleven players want to knock you down, when

you’retiredorinjured,whentherefereesareagainstyou,youcan’tletanyofit

affect your focus. How do you do that? You have to learn how. “ It is,” said

Hamm,“oneofthemostdifficultaspectsofsoccerandtheoneIstrugglewith

everygameandeverypractice.”

By the way, did Hamm think she was the greatest player in the world? No.

“Andbecauseofthat,”shesaid,“somedayIjustmightbe.”

In sports, there are always do-or-die situations, when a player must come

throughorit’sallover.JackNicklaus,thefamedgolfer,wasinthesesituations

many times in his long professional career on the PGA Tour—where the

tournament rested on his making a must-have shot. If you had to guess, how

manyoftheseshotsdoyouthinkhemissed?Theanswerisone.One!

That’sthechampionshipmentality.It’showpeoplewhoarenotastalentedas

theiropponentswingames.JohnWooden,thelegendarybasketballcoach,tells

oneofmyfavoritestories.Once,whileWoodenwasstillahighschoolcoach,a

playerwasunhappybecausehewasn’tincludedinthebiggames.Theplayer,

Eddie Pawelski, begged Wooden to give him a chance, and Wooden relented.

“All right Eddie,” he said, “I’ll give you a chance. I’ll start you against Fort

WayneCentraltomorrownight.”

“Suddenly,” Wooden tells us, “I wondered where those words came from.”

Three teams were locked in a battle for number one in Indiana—one was his

teamandanotherwasFortWayneCentral,tomorrownight’steam.

The next night, Wooden started Eddie. He figured that Eddie would last at

most a minute or two, especially since he was up against Fort Wayne’s

Armstrong,thetoughestplayerinthestate.

“Eddieliterallytookhimapart,”Woodenreports.“Armstronggotthelowest

pointtotalofhiscareer.Eddiescored12,andourteamshowedthebestbalance

ofallseason….Butinadditiontohisscoring,hisdefense,rebounding,andplay-

makingwereexcellent.”Eddieneversatoutagainandwasnamedmostvaluable

playerforthenexttwoyears.

All of these people had character. None of them thought they were special

people, born with the right to win. They were people who worked hard, who

learnedhowtokeeptheirfocusunderpressure,andwhostretchedbeyondtheir

ordinaryabilitieswhentheyhadto.

StayingonTop

Characteriswhatallowsyoutoreachthetopandstaythere.DarrylStrawberry,

MikeTyson,andMartinaHingisreachedthetop,buttheydidn’tstaythere.Isn’t

thatbecausethey had allkindsofpersonal problems and injuries?Yes,but so

have many other champions. Ben Hogan was hit by a bus and was physically

destroyed,buthemadeitbacktothetop.

“I believeabilitycangetyou tothetop,”sayscoach JohnWooden,“butit

takescharactertokeepyouthere….It’ssoeasyto…beginthinkingyoucanjust

‘turnit on’automatically,withoutproper preparation.Ittakesrealcharacterto

keepworkingashardorevenharderonceyou’rethere.Whenyoureadaboutan

athleteor teamthatwinsoverandoverand over,remindyourself,‘Morethan

ability,theyhavecharacter.’ ”

Let’stakeanevendeeperlookatwhatcharactermeans,andhowthegrowth

mindsetcreatesit.StuartBiddle and his colleagues measured adolescents’ and

youngadults’mindsetaboutathleticability.Thosewiththefixedmindsetwere

thepeoplewhobelievedthat:

“Youhaveacertainlevelofabilityinsportsandyoucannotreallydomuchto

changethatlevel.”

“Tobegoodatsportsyouneedtobenaturallygifted.”

Incontrast,thepeoplewiththegrowthmindsetagreedthat:

“Howgoodyouareatsportswillalwaysimproveifyouworkharderatit.”

“To be successful in sports, you need to learn techniques and skills and

practicethemregularly.”

Thosewiththegrowthmindsetweretheoneswhoshowedthemostcharacter

orheart.Theyweretheoneswhohadthemindsofchampions.WhatdoImean?

Let’slookatthefindingsfromthesesportsresearchersandsee.

WHATISSUCCESS?

Finding#1:Thosewiththegrowthmindsetfoundsuccessindoingtheirbest,in

learningandimproving.Andthisisexactlywhatwefindinthechampions.

“ For me the joy of athletics has never resided in winning,” Jackie Joyner-

Kerseetellsus,“…Iderivejustasmuchhappinessfromtheprocessasfromthe

results.Idon’tmindlosingaslongasIseeimprovementorIfeelI’vedoneas

well as I possibly could. If I lose, I just go back to the track and work some

more.”

This idea—that personal success is when you work your hardest to become

your best—was central to John Wooden’s life. In fact, he says, “there were

many, many games that gave me as much pleasure as any of the ten national

championshipgameswewon,simplybecausewepreparedfullyandplayednear

ourhighestlevelofability.”

Tiger Woods and Mia Hamm are two of the fiercest competitors who ever

lived.Theylovetowin,butwhatcountedmostforthemistheefforttheymade

even when they didn’t win. They could be proud of that. McEnroe and Beane

couldnot.

After the ’98 Masters tournament, Woods was disappointed that he did not

repeathiswinofthepreviousyear,buthefeltgoodabouthistop-tenfinish:“I

squeezedthetoweldrythisweek.I’mveryproudofthewayIhunginthere.”Or

after a British Open, where he finished third: “Sometimes you get even more

satisfactionoutofcreatingascorewhenthingsaren’tcompletelyperfect,when

you’renotfeelingsowellaboutyourswing.”

Tigerisahugelyambitiousman.Hewantstobethebest,eventhebestever.

“Butthebestme—that’salittlemoreimportant.”

MiaHammtellsus,“Aftereverygameorpractice,ifyouwalkoffthefield

knowingthatyougaveeverythingyouhad,youwillalwaysbeawinner.”Why

didthecountryfallinlovewithherteam?“Theysawthatwetrulylovewhat

wedoandthatwegaveeverythingwehadtoeachotherandtoeachgame.”

For those with the fixed mindset, success is about establishing their

superiority, pure and simple. Being that somebody who is worthier than the

nobodies.“Therewasatime—I’lladmitit,”McEnroesays,“whenmyheadwas

so big it could barely fit through the door.” Where’s the talk about effort and

personal best? There is none. “ Some people don’t want to rehearse; they just

wanttoperform.Otherpeoplewanttopracticeahundredtimesfirst.I’minthe

formergroup.”Remember,inthefixedmindset,effortisnotacauseforpride.It

issomethingthatcastsdoubtonyourtalent.

WHATISFAILURE?

Finding#2:Thosewiththegrowthmindsetfoundsetbacksmotivating.They’re

informative.They’reawake-upcall.

OnlyoncedidMichaelJordantrytocoast.Itwastheyearhereturnedtothe

Bulls after his stint in baseball, and he learned his lesson. The Bulls were

eliminatedintheplay-offs.“Youcan’tleaveandthinkyoucancomebackand

dominatethisgame.Iwillbephysicallyandmentallypreparedfromnowon.”

Truerwordsarerarelyspoken.TheBullswontheNBAtitlethenextthreeyears.

Michael Jordan embraced his failures. In fact, in one of his favorite ads for

Nike,hesays:“I’vemissedmorethanninethousandshots.I’velostalmostthree

hundred games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning

shot,andmissed.”Youcanbesurethateachtime,hewentbackandpracticed

theshotahundredtimes.

Here’show KareemAbdul-Jabbar,thegreatbasketballplayer,reactedwhen

collegebasketballoutlawedhissignatureshot,thedunk(laterreinstated).Many

thoughtthatwouldstophisascenttogreatness.Instead,heworkedtwiceashard

on developing other shots: his bank shot off the glass, his skyhook, and his

turnaroundjumper.HehadabsorbedthegrowthmindsetfromCoachWooden,

andputittogooduse.

Inthefixedmindset,setbackslabelyou.

JohnMcEnroecould neverstandthe thoughtoflosing.Even worsewasthe

thoughtoflosingtosomeonewhowasafriendorrelative.Thatwouldmakehim

lessspecial.Forexample,hehopeddesperatelyforhisbestfriend,Peter,tolose

inthefinalsatMauiafterPeterhadbeatenhiminanearlierround.Hewantedit

so badly he couldn’t watch the match. Another time, he played his brother

Patrick in a finals in Chicago, and said to himself, “ God, if I lose to Patrick,

that’sit.I’mjumpingofftheSearstower.”

Here’s how failure motivated him. In 1979, he played mixed doubles at

Wimbledon.Hedidn’tplaymixeddoublesagainfortwentyyears.Why?Heand

hispartnerlostinthreestraightsets.Plus,McEnroelosthisservetwice,while

nooneelselosttheirsevenonce.“Thatwastheultimateembarrassment.Isaid,

‘That’sit.I’mneverplayingagain.Ican’thandlethis.’ ”

In 1981, McEnroe bought a beautiful black Les Paul guitar. That week, he

wenttoseeBuddyGuyplayattheCheckerboardLoungeinChicago.Insteadof

feeling inspired to take lessons or practice, McEnroe went home and smashed

hisguitartopieces.

Here’showfailuremotivatedSergioGarcia,anothergoldenboywithmindset

issues. Garcia had taken the golf world by storm with his great shots and his

charming, boyish ways; he seemed like a younger Tiger. But when his

performancetookadive,sodidhischarm.Hefiredcaddieaftercaddie,blaming

themforeverythingthatwentwrong.Heonceblamedhisshoewhenheslipped

andmissedashot.Topunishtheshoe,hethrewitandkickedit.Unfortunately,

healmosthitanofficial.Thesearetheingeniousremediesforfailureinthefixed

mindset.

TAKINGCHARGEOFSUCCESS

Finding#3:Peoplewiththegrowthmindsetinsports(asinpre-medchemistry)

tookchargeoftheprocessesthatbringsuccess—andthatmaintainit.

How come Michael Jordan’s skill didn’t seem to decline with age? He did

lose some stamina and agility with age, but to compensate, he worked even

harderonconditioningandonhismoves,liketheturnaroundjumpshotandhis

celebrated fallaway jumper. He came into the league as a slam-dunker and he

leftasthemostcompleteplayerevertogracethegame.

Woods,too,tookchargeoftheprocess.Golfislikeawaywardlover.When

youthinkyou’ve conqueredher, she will certainlydesertyou.ButchHarmon,

therenownedcoach,says“thegolfswingisjustaboutthefarthestthingfroma

perfectibledisciplineinathletics….Themostreliableswingsareonlyrelatively

repeatable. They never stop being works in progress.” That’s why even the

biggest golf star wins only a fraction of the time, and may not win for long

periodsoftime(whichhappenedtoWoodsevenattheheightofhiscareer).And

that’salsowhytakingchargeoftheprocessissocrucial.

With this in mind, Tiger’s dad made sure to teach him how to manage his

attentionandhiscoursestrategy.Mr.Woodswouldmakeloudnoisesorthrow

things just as little Tiger was about to swing. This helped him become less

distractible. (Do we know someone else who could have profited from this

training?)WhenTigerwasthreeyearsold,hisdadwasalreadyteachinghimto

thinkaboutcoursemanagement.AfterTigerdrovetheballbehindabigclump

oftrees,Mr.Woodsaskedthetoddlerwhathisplanwas.

Woods carried on what his dad started by taking control of all parts of his

game. He experimented constantly with what worked and what didn’t, but he

alsohada long-termplanthat guided him:“I know mygame.I knowwhatI

wanttoachieve,Iknowhowtogetthere.”

LikeMichaelJordan,Woodsmanagedhismotivation.Hedidthisbymaking

hispracticeintofun:“Iloveworkingonshots,carvingthemthiswayandthat,

andprovingtomyselfthatIcanhitacertainshotoncommand.”Andhedidit

by thinking of a rival out there somewhere who would challenge him: “ He’s

twelve. I have to give myself a reason to work so hard. He’s out there

somewhere.He’stwelve.”

MarkO’Meara,Woods’sgolfpartnerandfriend,hadachoice.It’snoteasyto

playbesidesomeoneasextraordinaryasWoods.O’Meara’schoicewasthis:He

couldfeeljealousofanddiminishedbyWoods’ssuperiorplay,orhecouldlearn

fromit.Hechosethelatterpath.O’Mearawasoneofthosetalentedplayerswho

neverseemedtofulfillhispotential.Hischoice—totakechargeofhisgame—

turnedhimaround.

At the age of twenty-one, Woods had won the Masters Tournament. That

night,hesleptwithhisarmsaroundhisprize,thefamousgreenjacket.Oneyear

later,heputagreenjacketonMarkO’Meara.

FromMcEnroe,wehearlittletalkoftakingcontrol.Whenhewasontop,we

hearlittlementionofworkingonhisgametostayontop.Whenhewasdoing

poorly, we hear little self-reflection or analysis (except to pin the blame). For

example, when he didn’t do as well as expected for part of ’82, we hear that

“little things happened that kept me off my game for weeks at a time and

preventedmefromdominatingthetour.”

Alwaysavictimofoutsideforces.Whydidn’thetakechargeandlearnhow

toperformwellinspiteofthem?That’snotthewayofthefixedmindset.Infact,

ratherthancombatingthoseforcesorfixinghisproblems,hetellsushewished

he played a team sport, so he could conceal his flaws: “If you’re not at your

peak,youcanhideitsomucheasierinateamsport.”

McEnroealsoadmitsthathison-courttempertantrumswereoftenacoverfor

chokingand onlymadethingsworse.Sowhatdid hedo? Nothing.Hewished

someoneelsewoulddoitforhim.“Whenyoucan’tcontrolyourself,youwant

someone to do it for you—that’s where I acutely missed being part of a team

sport….Peoplewouldhaveworkedwithme,coachedme.”

Or:“Thesystemletmegetawaywithmoreandmore…Ireallylikeditless

and less.” He got mad at the system! Hi there, John. This was your life. Ever

thinkoftakingresponsibility?

No,becauseinthefixedmindset,youdon’ttakecontrolofyourabilitiesand

your motivation. You look for your talent to carry you through, and when it

doesn’t, well then, what else could you have done? You are not a work in

progress, you’re a finished product. And finished products have to protect

themselves,lament,andblame.Everythingbuttakecharge.

WHATDOESITMEANTOBEASTAR?

Doesastarhavelessresponsibilitytotheteamthanotherplayers?Isitjusttheir

role to be great and win games? Or does a star have more responsibility than

others?WhatdoesMichaelJordanthink?

“Inoursocietysometimesit’shardtocometogripswithfillingaroleinstead

oftryingtobeasuperstar,”saysJordan.Asuperstar’stalentcanwingames,but

it’steamworkthatwinschampionships.

Coach John Wooden claims he was tactically and strategically average. So

howdidhewin tennationalchampionships?Oneofthemainreasons,hetells

us,isbecausehewasgoodatgettingplayerstofillrolesaspartofateam.“I

believe, for example, I could have made Kareem [Abdul-Jabbar] the greatest

scorerincollegehistory.Icouldhavedonethatbydevelopingtheteamaround

thatabilityof his.Wouldwe have wonthreenational championshipswhilehe

wasatUCLA?Never.”

Inthefixedmindset,athleteswanttovalidatetheirtalent.Thismeansacting

like a superstar, not “just” a team member. But, as with Pedro Martinez, this

mindsetworksagainsttheimportantvictoriestheywanttoachieve.

AtellingtaleisthestoryofPatrickEwing,whocouldhavebeenabasketball

champion.TheyearEwingwasadraftpick—byfarthemostexcitingpickofthe

year—theKnickswonthelotteryandtotheirjoygottoselectEwingfortheir

team.Theynowhad“twintowers,”theseven-footEwingandtheseven-footBill

Cartwright,theirhigh-scoringcenter.Theyhadachancetodoitall.

TheyjustneededEwingtobethepowerforward.Hewasn’thappywiththat.

Centeristhe starposition.And maybe hewasn’tsure he couldhitthe outside

shotsthatapowerforwardhastohit.Whatifhehadreallygivenhisalltolearn

that position? (Alex Rodriguez, then the best shortstop in baseball, agreed to

playthirdbasewhenhejoinedtheYankees.Hehadtoretrainhimselfand,fora

while,hewasn’tallhehadbeen.)Instead,CartwrightwassenttotheBulls,and

Ewing’sKnicksneverwonachampionship.

Then there is the tale of the football player Keyshawn Johnson, another

immensely talented player who was devoted to validating his own greatness.

Whenaskedbeforeagamehowhecomparedtoastarplayerontheopposing

team, he replied, “You’re trying to compare a flashlight to a star. Flashlights

onlylastsolong.Astarisintheskyforever.”

Washea teamplayer?“I amateamplayer, butI’manindividual first….I

havetobetheNo.1guywiththefootball.NotNo.2orNo.3.IfI’mnottheNo.

1guy,I’mnogoodtoyou.Ican’treallyhelpyou.”Whatdoesthatmean?For

his definition of team player, Johnson was traded by the Jets, and, after that,

deactivatedbytheTampaBayBuccaneers.

I’venoticedaninterestingthing.Whensomestarplayersareinterviewedafter

agame,theysaywe.Theyarepartoftheteamandtheythinkofthemselvesthat

way.Whenothersareinterviewed,theysayIandtheyrefertotheirteammates

assomethingapartfromthemselves—aspeoplewhoareprivilegedtoparticipate

intheirgreatness.

EverySportIsaTeamSport

Youknow,justabouteverysportisinsomesenseateamsport.Noonedoesit

alone.Eveninindividualsports,liketennisorgolf,greatathleteshaveateam—

coaches, trainers, caddies, managers, mentors. This really hit me when I read

about Diana Nyad, the woman who holds the world’s record for open-water

swimming. What could be more of a lone sport than swimming? All right,

maybeyouneedalittlerowboattofollowyouandmakesureyou’reokay.

WhenNyadhatchedherplan,theopen-waterswimmingrecordforbothmen

andwomenwassixtymiles.Shewantedtoswimonehundred.Aftermonthsof

arduous training, she was ready. But with her went a team of guides (for

measuring the winds and the current, and watching for obstacles), divers

(lookingforsharks),NASAexperts(forguidanceonnutritionandendurance—

sheneededelevenhundredcaloriesperhourandshelosttwenty-ninepoundson

the trip!), and trainers who talked her through uncontrollable shivers, nausea,

hallucinations,anddespair.Hernewrecordwas102.5miles.Itwashernamein

therecordbooks,butittookfifty-oneotherpeopletodoit.

HEARINGTHEMINDSETS

Youcanalreadyhearthemindsetsinyoungathletes.Listenforthem.

It’s 2004. Iciss Tillis is a college basketball star, a six-foot-five forward for

theDukeUniversitywomen’sbasketballteam.Shehasapictureofherfather,

James“Quick”Tillis,tapedtoherlockerasamotivator.“Butthepictureisnota

tribute,”sayssportswriterVivBernstein.“ItisareminderofallTillishopesshe

willneverbe.”

Quick Tillis was a contender in the 1980s. In ’81, he boxed for the world

heavyweighttitle;in’85,hewas in the movie The Color Purple (as a boxer);

and in ’86, he was the first boxer to go the distance (ten rounds) with Mike

Tyson.Buthenevermadeittothetop.

Iciss Tillis, who is a senior, says, “This is the year to win a national

championship.IjustfeellikeI’dbesuchafailure…[I’d]feellikeI’mregressing

backandI’mgoingtoenduplikemydad:anobody.”

Uh-oh,it’sthesomebody–nobodysyndrome. If I win, I’llbesomebody;ifI

loseI’llbenobody.

Tillis’sangeratherfathermaybejustified—heabandonedherasachild.But

thisthinkingisgettinginherway.“Perhapsnobodyelsehasthatcombinationof

size,skill,quickness,andvisioninthewomen’scollegegame,”saysBernstein.

“Yet few would rate Tillis ahead of the top two players in the country:

Connecticut’s Diana Taurasi and [Duke’s Alana] Beard.” Tillis’s performance

oftenfailstomatchherability.

She’s frustrated that people have high expectations for her and want her to

playbetter.“IfeellikeIhavetocomeoutandhaveatriple-double[doubledigits

inpointsscored,rebounds,andassists],dunktheballover-the-head360[leave

yourfeet,turn completely aroundintheair, and slam theballinto the basket]

andmaybepeoplewillbelike,‘Oh,shenotthatbad.’ ”

Idon’tthinkpeoplewanttheimpossible.Ithinktheyjustwanttoseeheruse

herwonderfultalenttotheutmost.Ithinktheywanthertodeveloptheskillsshe

needstoreachhergoals.

Worryingaboutbeinganobodyisnotthemindsetthatmotivatesandsustains

champions.(Hard as it is, perhaps Tillis should admire the fact that her father

went for it, instead of being contemptuous that he didn’t quite make it.)

Somebodies are not determined by whether they won or lost. Somebodies are

peoplewhogoforitwithalltheyhave.Ifyougoforitwithallyouhave,Iciss

Tillis—not just in the games, but in practice too—you will already be a

somebody.

Here’stheothermindset.It’ssix-foot-threeCandaceParker,thenaseventeen-

year-old senior at Naperville Central High near Chicago, who was going to

TennesseetoplayfortheLadyVolsandtheirgreatcoach,PatSummitt.

Candace has a very different father from Iciss, a dad who is teaching her a

differentlesson:“Ifyouworkhardatsomething,yougetoutwhatyouputin.”

Several years before, when he was coach of her team, her dad lost his cool

withherduringatournamentgame.Shewasnotgoingfortherebounds,shewas

shootinglazyshotsfromtheoutsideinsteadofusingherheightnearthebasket,

andshewasnotexertingherselfondefense.“Nowlet’sgooutandtryharder!”

Sowhathappened? She wentoutandscored twenty points inthesecondhalf,

andhadtenrebounds.Theyblewtheotherteamaway.“Helitafireunderme.

AndIknewhewasright.”

Candacelightsthesamefireunderherselfnow.Ratherthanbeingcontentto

be a star, she looks to improve all the time. When she returned from knee

surgery,sheknewwhatsheneededtoworkon—hertiming,nerves,andwind.

Whenherthree-pointshotwentbad,sheaskedherfathertocometothegymto

work on it with her. “Whether it be in basketball or everyday life,” she says,

“nothingispromised.”

Only weeks later, the mindset prophecies were already coming true. Two

things happened. One, sadly, is that Tillis’s team was knocked out of the

championship.TheotherwasthatCandaceParkerbecamethefirstwomanever

towinthebasketballdunkingchampionship—againstfivemen.

Character,heart,themindofachampion.It’swhatmakesgreatathletesand

it’s what comes from the growth mindset with its focus on self-development,

self-motivation,andresponsibility.

Eventhoughthefinestathletesarewildlycompetitiveandwanttobethebest,

greatnessdoesnotcomefromtheegoofthefixedmindset,withitssomebody–

nobody syndrome. Many athletes with the fixed mindset may have been

“naturals”—but you know what? As John Wooden says, we can’t remember

mostofthem.

GrowYourMindset

• Aretheresportsyoualwaysassumedyou’rebadat?Well,

maybeyouare,butthenmaybeyouaren’t.It’snotsomething

youcanknowuntilyou’veputinalotofeffort.Someofthe

world’sbestathletesdidn’tstartoutbeingthathot.Ifyou

haveapassionforasport,putintheeffortandsee.

• Sometimesbeingexceptionallyendowedisacurse.These

athletesmaystayinafixedmindsetandnotcopewellwith

adversity.Isthereasportthatcameeasilytoyouuntilyouhit

awall?Tryonthegrowthmindsetandgoforitagain.

• “Character”isanimportantconceptinthesportsworld,andit

comesoutofagrowthmindset.Thinkabouttimesyou’ve

neededtoreachdeepdowninsideindifficultsportsmatches.

Thinkaboutthegrowth-mindsetchampionsfromthischapter

andhowtheydoit.Whatcouldyoudonexttimetomakesure

you’reinagrowthmindsetinthepinch?

• Athleteswithagrowthmindsetfindsuccessinlearningand

improving,notjustwinning.Themoreyoucandothis,the

morerewardingsportswillbeforyou—andforthosewho

playthemwithyou!

Chapter5

BUSINESS:MINDSETANDLEADERSHIP

ENRONANDTHETALENTMINDSET

In2001 camethe announcementthat shockedthe corporateworld. Enron—the

corporate poster child, the company of the future—had gone belly-up. What

happened? How did such spectacular promise turn into such a spectacular

disaster?Wasitincompetence?Wasitcorruption?

Itwasmindset.AccordingtoMalcolmGladwell,writinginTheNewYorker,

American corporations had become obsessed with talent. Indeed, the gurus at

McKinsey&Company,thepremiermanagementconsultingfirminthecountry,

wereinsistingthatcorporatesuccesstodayrequiresthe“talentmindset.”Justas

therearenaturalsinsports,theymaintained,therearenaturalsinbusiness.Just

as sports teams write huge checks to sign outsized talent, so, too, should

corporationssparenoexpenseinrecruitingtalent,forthisisthesecretweapon,

thekeytobeatingthecompetition.

AsGladwellwrites,“This‘talentmindset’istheneworthodoxyofAmerican

management.” It created the blueprint for the Enron culture—and sowed the

seedsofitsdemise.

Enronrecruitedbigtalent,mostlypeoplewithfancydegrees,whichisnotin

itselfsobad.Itpaidthembigmoney,whichisnotthatterrible.Butbyputting

complete faith in talent, Enron did a fatal thing: It created a culture that

worshipedtalent,therebyforcingitsemployees to look and act extraordinarily

talented. Basically, it forced them into the fixed mindset. And we know a lot

aboutthat.Weknowfromourstudiesthatpeoplewiththefixedmindsetdonot

admitandcorrecttheirdeficiencies.

Remember the study where we interviewed students from the University of

Hong Kong, where everything is in English? Students with the fixed mindset

weresoworriedaboutappearingdeficientthattheyrefusedtotakeacoursethat

wouldimprovetheirEnglish.Theydidnotliveinapsychologicalworldwhere

theycouldtakethisrisk.

And remember how we put students into a fixed mindset by praising their

intelligence—muchasEnronhaddonewithitsstaremployees?Later,aftersome

hard problems, we asked the students to write a letter to someone in another

schooldescribingtheirexperienceinourstudy.Whenwereadtheirletters,we

wereshocked:Almost40percentofthemhadliedabouttheirscores—alwaysin

theupwarddirection.Thefixedmindsethadmadeaflawintolerable.

Gladwell concludes that when people live in an environment that esteems

them for their innate talent, they have grave difficulty when their image is

threatened:“Theywill not taketheremedialcourse. They willnotstandup to

investorsandthepublicandadmitthattheywerewrong.They’dsoonerlie.”

Obviously,acompanythatcannotself-correctcannotthrive.

IfEnronwasdoneinbyitsfixedmindset,doesitfollowthatcompaniesthat

thrivehaveagrowthmindset?Let’ssee.

ORGANIZATIONSTHATGROW

Jim Collins set out to discover what made some companies move from being

goodtobeinggreat.Whatwasitthatallowedthemtomaketheleaptogreatness

—andstaythere—whileother,comparablecompaniesjustheldsteadyatgood?

To answer this question, he and his research team embarked on a five-year

study. They selected eleven companies whose stock returns had skyrocketed

relativetoothercompaniesintheirindustry,andwhohadmaintainedthisedge

foratleastfifteenyears.Theymatchedeachcompanytoanotheroneinthesame

industrythathadsimilarresources,butdidnotmaketheleap.Healsostudieda

thirdgroupofcompanies:onesthathadmadealeapfromgoodtogreatbutdid

notsustainit.

What distinguished the thriving companies from the others? There were

severalimportantfactors,asCollinsreportsinhisbook,GoodtoGreat,butone

that was absolutely key was the type of leader who in every case led the

company into greatness. These were not the larger-than-life, charismatic types

whooozedegoandself-proclaimedtalent.Theywereself-effacingpeoplewho

constantly asked questions and had the ability to confront the most brutal

answers—thatis,tolookfailuresintheface,eventheirown,whilemaintaining

faiththattheywouldsucceedintheend.

Does this sound familiar? Collins wonders why his effective leaders have

theseparticularqualities.Andwhythesequalitiesgotogetherthewaytheydo.

And how these leaders came to acquire them. But we know. They have the

growth mindset. They believe in human development. And these are the

hallmarks:

They’renotconstantlytryingtoprovethey’rebetterthanothers.Forexample,

they don’t highlight the pecking order with themselves at the top, they don’t

claimcreditforotherpeople’scontributions,andtheydon’tundermineothersto

feelpowerful.

Instead,theyareconstantlytryingtoimprove.Theysurroundthemselveswith

themostablepeopletheycanfind,theylooksquarelyattheirownmistakesand

deficiencies,andtheyaskfranklywhatskillstheyandthecompanywillneedin

thefuture.And because of this,theycanmove forward withconfidencethat’s

groundedinthefacts,notbuiltonfantasiesabouttheirtalent.

Collins reports that Alan Wurtzel, the CEO of the giant electronics chain

CircuitCity,helddebatesinhisboardroom.Ratherthansimplytryingtoimpress

hisboardofdirectors,heusedthemtolearn.Withhisexecutiveteamaswell,he

questioned,debated,prodded untilheslowly gained aclearerpicture ofwhere

the company was and where it needed to go. “ They used to call me the

prosecutor,becauseIwouldhoneinonaquestion,”WurtzeltoldCollins.“You

know,likeabulldog.Iwouldn’tletgountilIunderstood.Why,why,why?”

Wurtzel considered himself a “plow horse,” a hardworking, no-nonsense

normal kind of guy, but he took a company that was close to bankruptcy and

over the next fifteen years turned it into one that delivered the highest total

returntoitsstockholdersofanyfirmontheNewYorkStockExchange.

ASTUDYOFMINDSETANDMANAGEMENTDECISIONS

RobertWoodandAlbertBanduradidafascinatingstudywithgraduatestudents

in business, many of whom had management experience. In their study, they

createdEnron-typemanagersandWurtzel-typemanagersbyputtingpeopleinto

differentmindsets.

Wood and Bandura gave these budding business leaders a complex

managementtaskinwhichtheyhadtorunasimulatedorganization,afurniture

company. In this computerized task, they had to place employees in the right

jobsanddecidehowbesttoguideandmotivatetheseworkers.Todiscoverthe

bestways,theyhadtokeeprevisingtheirdecisionsbasedonthefeedbackthey

gotaboutemployeeproductivity.

Theresearchersdividedthebusinessstudentsintotwogroups.Onegroupwas

given a fixed mindset. They were told that the task measured their basic,

underlyingcapabilities. Thehighertheircapacity,the bettertheirperformance.

Theothergroupwasgivenagrowthmindset.Theyweretoldthatmanagement

skills were developed through practice and that the task would give them an

opportunitytocultivatetheseskills.

Thetaskwashardbecausestudentsweregivenhighproductionstandardsto

meet,and—especiallyintheirearlyattempts—theyfellshort.AsatEnron,those

withthefixedmindsetdidnotprofitfromtheirmistakes.

But those with the growth mindset kept on learning. Not worried about

measuring—or protecting—their fixed abilities, they looked directly at their

mistakes, used the feedback, and altered their strategies accordingly. They

became better and better at understanding how to deploy and motivate their

workers, and their productivity kept pace. In fact, they ended up way more

productive than those with the fixed mindset. What’s more, throughout this

rather grueling task, they maintained a healthy sense of confidence. They

operatedlikeAlanWurtzel.

LEADERSHIPANDTHEFIXEDMINDSET

IncontrasttoAlanWurtzel,theleadersofCollins’scomparisoncompanieshad

everysymptomofthefixedmindsetwritlarge.

Fixed-mindset leaders, like fixed-mindset people in general, live in a world

where some people are superior and some are inferior. They must repeatedly

affirmthattheyaresuperior,andthecompanyissimplyaplatformforthis.

Collins’scomparisonleadersweretypicallyconcernedwiththeir“reputation

forpersonalgreatness”—somuchsothattheyoftensetthecompanyuptofail

whentheirregimeended.AsCollinsputsit,“Afterall,whatbettertestamentto

yourownpersonalgreatnessthanthattheplacefallsapartafteryouleave?”

In more than two-thirds of these leaders, the researchers saw a “gargantuan

personalego”thateitherhastenedthedemiseofthecompanyorkeptitsecond-

rate. Once such leader was Lee Iacocca, head of Chrysler, who achieved a

miraculousturnaroundforhiscompany,thenspentsomuchtimegroominghis

fame that in the second half of his tenure, the company plunged back into

mediocrity.

Many of these comparison companies operated on what Collins calls a

“genius with a thousand helpers” model. Instead of building an extraordinary

managementteamlikethegood-to-greatcompanies,theyoperatedonthefixed-

mindsetpremisethatgreatgeniusesdonotneedgreatteams.Theyjustneedlittle

helperstocarryouttheirbrilliantideas.

Don’tforgetthatthesegreat geniuses don’t want great teams, either.Fixed-

mindset people want to be the only big fish so that when they compare

themselvestothosearoundthem,theycanfeelacutabovetherest.Innotone

autobiography of a fixed-mindset CEO did I read much about mentoring or

employeedevelopmentprograms.Ineverygrowth-mindsetautobiography,there

wasdeepconcernwithpersonneldevelopmentandextensivediscussionofit.

Finally,aswithEnron,thegeniusesrefusedtolookattheirdeficiencies.Says

Collins: The good-to-great Kroger grocery chain looked bravely at the danger

signs in the 1970s—signs that the old-fashioned grocery store was becoming

extinct.Meanwhile,itscounterpart,A&P,oncethelargestretailingorganization

intheworld,shutitseyes.Forexample,whenA&Popenedanewkindofstore,

asuperstore,anditseemedtobemoresuccessfulthantheoldkind,theyclosed

itdown.Itwasnotwhattheywantedtohear.Incontrast,Krogereliminatedor

changedeverysinglestorethatdidnotfitthenewsuperstoremodelandbythe

endofthe1990sithadbecomethenumberonegrocerychaininthecountry.

CEOsandtheBigEgo

HowdidCEOandgargantuanegobecomesynonymous?Ifit’sthemoreself-

effacinggrowth-mindedpeoplewhoarethetrueshepherdsofindustry,whyare

so many companies out looking for larger-than-life leaders—even when these

leadersmayintheendbemorecommittedtothemselvesthantothecompany?

Blame Iacocca. According to James Surowiecki, writing in Slate, Iacocca’s

risetoprominencewasaturningpointforAmericanbusiness.Beforehim,the

daysoftycoonsandmogulsseemedlongpast.Inthepublic’smind,CEOmeant

“abuttoned-down organizationman,well-treatedandwell-paid,butessentially

blandandcharacterless.”WithIacocca,allofthatchanged.Businessjournalists

began dubbing executives “the next J. P. Morgan” or “the next Henry Ford.”

Andfixed-mindsetexecutivesstartedvyingforthoselabels.

Surowieckieventracestherecentcorporatescandalstothischange,forasthe

trendcontinued,CEOsbecamesuperheroes.Butthepeoplewhopreentheiregos

andlookforthenextself-imageboostarenotthesamepeoplewhofosterlong-

termcorporatehealth.

Maybe Iacocca is just a charismatic guy who, like rock and roll, is being

blamed for the demise of civilization. Is that fair? Let’s look at him more

closely. And let’s look at some other fixed-mindset CEOs: Albert Dunlap of

Scott Paper and Sunbeam; Jerry Levin and Steve Case of AOL Time Warner;

andKennethLayandJeffreySkillingofEnron.

You’llseetheyallstartwiththebeliefthatsomepeoplearesuperior;theyall

have the need to prove and display their superiority; they all use their

subordinates to feed this need, rather than fostering the development of their

workers;andtheyallendbysacrificingtheircompaniestothisneed.Thefixed

mindset helps us understand where gargantuan egos come from, how they

operate,andwhytheybecomeself-defeating.

FIXED-MINDSETLEADERSINACTION

Iacocca:I’maHero

Warren Bennis, the leadership guru, studied the world’s greatest corporate

leaders.Thesegreatleaderssaidtheydidn’tsetouttobeleaders.They’dhadno

interestinprovingthemselves.Theyjustdidwhattheyloved—withtremendous

driveandenthusiasm—anditledwhereitled.

Iacocca wasn’t like that. Yes, he loved the car business, but more than

anything he yearned to be a muckamuck at Ford. He craved the approval of

HenryFordIIandtheroyaltrappingsofoffice.Thesewerethethingshecould

measure himself by, the things that would prove he was somebody. I use the

termroyalwithgoodreason.IacoccatellsustheGlassHouse,Fordcorporate

headquarters, was a palace and Henry Ford was the king. What’s more, “If

Henry was king, I was the crown prince.” “ I was His Majesty’s special

protégé.” “ All of us…lived the good life in the royal court. We were part of

somethingbeyondfirstclass—royal class….White coatedwaiterswereon call

throughouttheday,andweallatelunchtogetherintheexecutivediningroom…

DoversolewasflownoverfromEnglandonadailybasis.”

IacoccaachievedgreatthingsatFord,likenurturingandpromotingtheFord

Mustang, and he dreamed of succeeding Henry Ford as the CEO of the

company. But Henry Ford had other ideas and, much to Iacocca’s shock and

rage,heeventuallyforcedIacoccaout.It’sinterestingthatIacoccawasshocked

andthatheharboredanenduringrageagainstHenryFord.Afterall,hehadseen

HenryFordfiretoppeople,andhe,Iacocca,hadusedtheaxquiteliberallyon

others.Heknewthecorporategame.Yethisfixedmindsetcloudedhisvision:“

IhadalwaysclungtotheideathatIwasdifferent,thatsomehowIwassmarter

or luckier than the rest. I didn’t think it would ever happen to me.” (Italics

added.)

Hisbeliefinhisinherentsuperiorityhadblindedhim.Nowtheothersideof

the fixed mindset kicked in. He wondered whether Henry Ford had detected a

flawinhim.Maybehewasn’tsuperiorafterall.Andthat’swhyhecouldn’tlet

go.Yearslater,hissecondwifetoldhimtogetoverit.“Youdon’trealizewhat

a favor Henry Ford did for you. Getting fired from Ford brought you to

greatness. You’re richer, more famous and more influential because of Henry

Ford.Thankhim.”Shortlythereafter,hedivorcedher.

Sothekingwhohaddefinedhimascompetentandworthynowrejectedhim

as flawed. With ferocious energy, Iacocca applied himself to the monumental

task of saving face and, in the process, Chrysler Motors. Chrysler, the once

thrivingFordrival,wasonthebrinkofdeath,butIacoccaasitsnewCEOacted

quickly to hire the right people, bring out new models, and lobby the

government for bailout loans. Just a few years after his humiliating exit from

Ford,hewasabletowriteatriumphantautobiographyandinitdeclare,“Today,

I’mahero.”

Withinashorttime,however,Chryslerwasintroubleagain.Iacocca’sfixed

mindset would not stay put. He needed to prove his greatness—to himself, to

HenryFord, totheworld—onalargerandlarger scale.Hespenthiscompany

timeonthingsthatwouldenhancehispublicimage,andhespentthecompany’s

money on things that would impress Wall Street and hike up Chrysler’s stock

prices.Buthedidthisinsteadofinvestinginnewcardesignsormanufacturing

improvementsthatwouldkeepthecompanyprofitableinthelongrun.

Healsolookedtohistory,tohowhewouldbejudgedandremembered.Buthe

did not address this concern by building the company. Quite the contrary.

According to one of his biographers, he worried that his underlings might get

creditforsuccessfulnewdesigns,sohebalkedatapprovingthem.Heworried,

asChryslerfaltered,thathisunderlingsmightbeseenasthenewsaviors,sohe

tried to get rid of them. He worried that he would be written out of Chrysler

history, so he desperately hung on as CEO long after he had lost his

effectiveness.

Iacoccahadagoldenopportunitytomakeadifference,toleaveagreatlegacy.

The American auto industry was facing its biggest challenge ever. Japanese

imports were taking over the American market. It was simple: They looked

better and they ran better. Iacocca’s own people had done a detailed study of

Honda,andmadeexcellentsuggestionstohim.

But rather than taking up the challenge and delivering better cars, Iacocca,

mired in his fixed mindset, delivered blame and excuses. He went on the

rampage,spewingangrydiatribesagainsttheJapaneseand demandingthat the

American government impose tariffs and quotas that would stop them. In an

editorial against Iacocca, The New York Times scolded, “The solution lies in

makingbettercarsinthiscountry,notinangrierexcusesaboutJapan.”

Nor was Iacocca growing as a leader of his workforce. In fact, he was

shrinking into the insulated, petty, and punitive tyrant he had accused Henry

Fordofbeing.Notonlywashefiringpeoplewhowerecriticalofhim,he’ddone

little to reward the workers who had sacrificed so much to save the company.

Evenwhenthemoneywasrollingin,heseemedtohavelittleinterestinsharing

it with them. Their pay remained low and their working conditions remained

poor. Yet even when Chrysler was in trouble again, he maintained a regal

lifestyle. Two million dollars were spent renovating his corporate suite at the

WaldorfinNewYork.

Finally, while there was still time to save Chrysler, the board of directors

eased Iacocca out. They gave him a grand pension, showered him with stock

options,andcontinuedmanyofhiscorporateperks.Buthewasbesidehimself

with rage, especially since his successor seemed to be managing the company

quite nicely. So in a bid to regain the throne, he joined a hostile takeover

attempt,onethatplacedthefutureofChrysleratrisk.Itfailed.Butformany,the

suspicionthatheputhisegobeforethewelfareofthecompanywasconfirmed.

Iacocca lived the fixed mindset. Although he started out loving the car

businessandhavingbreakthroughideas,hisneedtoprovehissuperioritystarted

todominate,eventuallykillinghisenjoymentandstiflinghiscreativity.Astime

wentonandhebecamelessandlessresponsivetochallengesfromcompetitors,

heresortedtothekeyweaponsofthefixedmindset—blame,excuses,andthe

stiflingofcriticsandrivals.

And as is so often the case with the fixed mindset, because of these very

things,Iacoccalostthevalidationhecraved.

When students fail tests or athletes lose games, it tells them that they’ve

droppedtheball.ButthepowerthatCEOswieldallowsthemtocreateaworld

thatcatersnightanddaytotheirneedforvalidation.Itallowsthemtosurround

themselves only with the good news of their perfection and the company’s

success,nomatter what thewarningsignsmay be. This,asyoumayrecall, is

CEOdiseaseandaperilofthefixedmindset.

Youknow,latelyI’vewonderedwhetherIacoccahasrecuperatedfromCEO

disease.He’sraisingmoney(andgivingalotofhisown)forinnovativediabetes

research. He’s working for the development of environment-friendly vehicles.

Maybe, released from the task of trying to prove himself, he’s now going for

thingshedeeplyvalues.

AlbertDunlap:I’maSuperstar

AlbertDunlapsaveddyingcompanies,althoughI’mnotsuresavedistheright

word.Hedidn’tgetthemreadytothriveinthefuture.Hegotthemreadytosell

foraprofit,forexamplebyfiringthousandsofworkers.Andprofithedid.He

gotahundredmilliondollarsfromtheturnaroundandsaleofScottPaper.One

hundredmillionforlittlemorethanayearandahalfofwork.“DidIearnit?

Damn right I did. I’m a superstar in my field, much like Michael Jordan in

basketballandBruceSpringsteeninrock’n’roll.”

Iacocca paid lip service to teamwork, the importance of the little guy, and

other good things. Albert Dunlap didn’t even pay lip service: “ If you’re in

business,you’reinbusinessforonething—tomakemoney.”

He proudly reports an incident at an employee meeting at Scott Paper. A

womanstoodupandasked,“Nowthatthecompanyisimproving,canwerestart

charitabledonations?”Towhichhereplied,“Ifyouwanttogiveonyourown,

thatisyourbusinessandIencourageyoutodoit.Butthiscompanyishereto

makeabuck….Theanswer,inaword,isno.”

I’mnotheretoarguethatbusinessisn’taboutmoney,butIdowanttoask:

WhywasDunlapsofocusedonit?

Let’slethimtellus.“Makingmywayintheworldbecameamatterofself-

respectforme,ofakidtryingtoprovehewasworthsomething….Tothisday,I

feel I have to prove and reprove myself.” And if he has to prove himself, he

needs a yardstick. Employee satisfaction or community responsibility or

charitablecontributionsarenotgoodyardsticks.Theycannotbereducedtoone

numberthatrepresentshisself-worth.Butshareholderprofitscan.

Inhisownwords,“Themostridiculoustermheardinboardroomsthesedays

is ‘stakeholders.’ ” The term refers to the employees, the community, and the

other companies, such as suppliers, that the company deals with. “You can’t

measure success by the interest of multiple stakeholders. You can measure

successbyhowtheshareholderfares.”

ThelonghaulheldnointerestforDunlap.Reallylearningaboutacompany

andfiguringouthowtomakeitgrowdidn’tgivehimthebigblastofsuperhero

juice.“Eventually,IhavegottenboredeveryplaceIhavebeen.”Inhisbook,

thereisawholechaptercalled“ImpressingtheAnalysts,”butthereisnochapter

aboutmakingabusinesswork.Inotherwords,it’salwaysaboutDunlapproving

hisgenius.

Thenin1996,DunlaptookoverSunbeam.Inhistypical“ChainsawAl”style,

he closed or sold two-thirds of Sunbeam’s plants and fired half of the twelve

thousand employees. Ironically, the Sunbeam stock rose so high, it ruined his

plantosellthecompany.Itwastooexpensivetobuy!Uh-oh,nowhehadtorun

thecompany.Nowhehadtokeepitprofitable,oratleastlookingprofitable.But

insteadofturningtohisstafforlearningwhattodo,heinflatedrevenues,fired

people who questioned him, and covered up the increasingly dire straits his

companywasin.Lessthantwoyearsaftertheself-proclaimedsuperstardomin

hisbook(andoneyearafteranevenmoreself-congratulatoryrevision),Dunlap

fellapart andwaskickedout.Asheleft, Sunbeamwasunderinvestigationby

the Securities and Exchange Commission and was expected to be in technical

defaultona$1.7billionbankloan.

DunlapdeeplymisunderstoodMichaelJordanandBruceSpringsteen.Bothof

thesesuperstarsreachedthepinnacleandstayedtherealongtimebecausethey

constantly dug down, faced challenges, and kept growing. Al Dunlap thought

that he was inherently superior, so he opted out of the kind of learning that

wouldhavehelpedhimsucceed.

TheSmartestGuysintheRoom

Yes,itseemsasthoughhistoryledinevitablyfromIacoccatothemogulsofthe

1990s,andnonemoresothanKennethLayandJeffreySkilling,theleadersof

Enron.

KenLay,thecompany’s founder, chairman,andCEO,considered himself a

greatvisionary.AccordingtoBethanyMcLeanandPeterElkind,authorsofThe

Smartest Guys in the Room, Lay looked down his nose at the people who

actuallymadethecompanyrun,muchthewayakingmightlookathisserfs.He

lookeddownonRichKinder,theEnronpresident,whorolleduphissleevesand

triedtomakesurethecompanywouldreachitsearningtargets.Kinderwasthe

manwhomadeLay’sroyallifestylepossible.Kinderwasalsotheonlypersonat

thetopwhoconstantlyaskediftheywerefoolingthemselves:“Arewesmoking

ourowndope?Arewedrinkingourownwhiskey?”

Naturally,hisdayswerenumbered.Butinhissensibleandastuteway,ashe

departedhearrangedtobuytheoneEnronassetthatwasinherentlyvaluable,the

energypipelines—theassetthatEnronheldindisdain.Bythemiddleof2003,

Kinder’scompanyhadamarketvalueofsevenbilliondollars.

EvenasLay was consumed byhisviewof himself andtheregalmanner in

whichhewishedtosupportit,hewantedtobeseenasa“goodandthoughtful

man”withacredoofrespectandintegrity.EvenasEnronmerrilysuckedthelife

outofitsvictims,hewrotetohisstaff,“Ruthlessness,callousnessandarrogance

don’t belong here….We work with customers and prospects openly, honestly

and sincerely.” As with Iacocca and the others, the perception—usually Wall

Street’sperception—wasall-important.Therealitylessso.

RighttherewithLaywasJeffSkilling,successortoRichKinderaspresident

and chief operating officer, and later the CEO. Skilling was not just smart, he

wassaid tobe“thesmartestpersonIever met”and“incandescentlybrilliant.”

He used his brainpower, however, not to learn but to intimidate. When he

thoughthewassmarterthanothers,whichwasalmostalways,hetreatedthem

harshly.Andanyonewhodisagreedwithhimwasjustnotbrightenoughto“get

it.” When a co-CEO with superb management skills was brought in to help

Skillingduringahardtimeinhislife,Skillingwascontemptuousofhim:“Ron

doesn’t get it.” When financial analysts or Wall Street traders tried to press

Skillingtogobeyondhispatexplanations,hetreatedthemasthoughtheywere

stupid.“Well,it’ssoobvious.Howcanyounotgetit?”Inmostcases,theWall

Streetguys,everconcernedabouttheirownintellect,madebelievetheygotit.

Asresidentgenius,Skillinghadunlimitedfaithinhisideas.Hehadsomuch

regardforhisideasthathebelievedEnronshouldbeabletoproclaimprofitsas

soonasheorhispeoplehadtheideathatmightleadtoprofits.Thisisaradical

extensionofthefixedmindset:Mygeniusnotonlydefinesandvalidatesme.It

definesandvalidatesthecompany.Itiswhatcreatesvalue.Mygeniusisprofit.

Wow!

Andinfact,thisishowEnroncametooperate.AsMcLeanandElkindreport,

Enron recorded “millions of dollars in profits on a business before it had

generatedapennyinactualrevenues.”Of course,afterthecreativeactnoone

caredaboutfollow-through.Thatwasbeneaththem.So,oftenasnot,theprofit

never occurred. If genius equaled profit, it didn’t matter that Enron people

sometimeswastedmillionscompetingagainsteachother.SaidAmandaMartin,

an Enron executive, “To put one over on one of your own was a sign of

creativityandgreatness.”

Skillingnotonlythoughthewassmarterthaneveryoneelsebut,likeIacocca,

alsothoughthewasluckier.Accordingtoinsiders,hethoughthecouldbeatthe

odds.Whyshouldhefeelvulnerable?Therewasneveranythingwrong.Skilling

stilldoesnotadmitthattherewasanythingwrong.Theworldsimplydidn’tget

it.

TwoGeniusesCollide

ResidentgeniusesalmostbroughtdownAOLandTimeWarner,too.SteveCase

ofAOLandJerryLevinofTimeWarnerweretwoCEOswiththefixedmindset

whomergedtheircompanies.Canyouseeitcoming?

Case and Levin had a lot in common. Both of them cultivated an aura of

supremeintelligence. Bothtriedto intimidatepeople withtheirbrilliance.And

bothwereknowntotakemorecreditthantheydeserved.Asresidentgeniuses,

neither wanted to hear complaints, and both were ready to fire people who

weren’t“teamplayers,”meaningpeoplewhowouldn’tkeepupthefaçadethat

theyhaderected.

Whenthemergeractuallytookplace,AOLwasinsuchdebtthatthemerged

companywason thebrinkofruin. Youwouldthink thatthetwoCEOs might

work together, marshaling their resources to save the company they created.

Instead,LevinandCasescrambledforpersonalpower.

Levinwasthefirsttofall.ButCasewasstillnottryingtomakethingswork.

Infact,whenthenewCEO,RichardParsons,sentsomeonedowntofixAOL,

Casewasintenselyagainstit.IfsomeoneelsefixedAOL,someoneelsewould

get the credit. As with Iacocca, better to let the company collapse than let

anotherprincebecrowned.WhenCasewasfinallycounseledtoresign,hewas

furious. Like Iacocca, he denied all responsibility for the company’s problems

andvowedtogetbackatthosewhohadturnedagainsthim.

Because of the resident geniuses, AOL Time Warner ended the year 2002

withalossofalmostonehundredbilliondollars.Itwasthelargestyearlylossin

Americanhistory.

Invulnerable,Invincible,andEntitled

Iacocca,Dunlap,LayandSkilling,CaseandLevin.Theyshowwhatcanhappen

whenpeoplewiththefixedmindsetareputinchargeofcompanies.Ineachcase,

abrilliantmanputhiscompanyinjeopardybecausemeasuringhimselfandhis

legacyoutweighedeverythingelse.Theywerenotevilintheusualsense.They

didn’t set out to do harm. But at critical decision points, they opted for what

wouldmakethem feelgoodand look goodoverwhat wouldservethelonger-

termcorporategoals.Blameothers, cover mistakes, pump up thestockprices,

crushrivalsandcritics,screwthelittleguy—thesewerethestandardoperating

procedures.

Whatisfascinatingisthatastheyledtheircompaniestowardruin,allofthese

leaders felt invulnerable and invincible. In many cases, they were in highly

competitiveindustries,facingonslaughtsfromfiercerivals.Buttheylivedina

differentreality.

It was a world of personal greatness and entitlement. Kenneth Lay felt a

powerful sense of entitlement. Even as he was getting millions a year in

compensationfromEnron,hetooklargepersonalloansfromthecompany,gave

jobsandcontractstohisrelatives,andusedthecorporatejetsashisfamilyfleet.

EvenduringbadyearsatChrysler,IacoccathrewlavishChristmaspartiesforthe

companyelite.Ateveryparty,asking,hepresentedhimselfwithanexpensive

gift,whichtheexecutiveswerelaterbilledfor.SpeakingaboutAOLexecutives,

aformerofficialsaid,“You’retalkingaboutmenwhothoughttheyhadarightto

anything.”

As these leaders cloaked themselves in the trappings of royalty, surrounded

themselveswithflattererswhoextolledtheirvirtues,andhidfromproblems,itis

no wonder they felt invincible. Their fixed mindset created a magic realm in

whichthebrillianceandperfectionofthekingwereconstantlyvalidated.Within

that mindset, they were completely fulfilled. Why would they want to step

outsidethatrealmtofacetheuglierrealityofwartsandfailures?

As Morgan McCall, in his book High Flyers, points out, “Unfortunately,

peopleoftenlikethethingsthatworkagainsttheirgrowth….Peopleliketouse

their strengths…to achieve quick, dramatic results, even if…they aren’t

developingthenewskillstheywillneedlateron.Peopleliketobelievetheyare

as good as everyone says…and not take their weaknesses as seriously as they

might.Peopledon’tliketohearbadnewsorgetcriticism….Thereistremendous

risk…inleavingwhatonedoeswelltoattempttomastersomethingnew.”And

thefixedmindsetmakesitseemallthatmuchriskier.

BrutalBosses

McCallgoesontopointoutthatwhenleadersfeeltheyareinherentlybetterthan

others,they maystarttobelievethat theneedsorfeelingsof thelesserpeople

can be ignored. None of our fixed-mindset leaders cared much about the little

guy, and many were outright contemptuous of those beneath them on the

corporateladder.Wheredoesthislead?Intheguiseof“keepingpeopleontheir

toes,”thesebossesmaymistreatworkers.

Iacocca played painful games with his executives to keep them off balance.

JerryLevinofTimeWarnerwaslikenedbyhiscolleaguestothebrutalRoman

emperor Caligula. Skilling was known for his harsh ridicule of those less

intelligentthanhe.

HarveyHornstein,anexpertoncorporateleadership,writesinhisbookBrutal

Bossesthatthiskindofabuserepresentsthebosses’desire“toenhancetheirown

feelingsofpower,competence,andvalueatthesubordinate’sexpense.”Doyou

rememberinourstudieshowpeoplewiththefixedmindsetwantedtocompare

themselveswithpeoplewhowereworseoffthantheywere?Theprincipleisthe

same,butthereisanimportantdifference:Thesebosseshavethepowertomake

peopleworseoff.Andwhentheydo,theyfeelbetteraboutthemselves.

Hornstein describes Paul Kazarian, the former CEO of Sunbeam-Oster. He

called himself a “perfectionist,” but that was a euphemism for “abuser.” He

threw things at subordinates when they upset him. One day, the comptroller,

afterdispleasingMr.Kazarian,sawanorangejuicecontainerflyingtowardhim.

Sometimesthevictimsarepeoplethebossesconsidertobelesstalented.This

canfeedtheirsenseofsuperiority.Butoftenthevictimsarethemostcompetent

people, because these are the ones who pose the greatest threat to a fixed-

mindsetboss.Anengineeratamajoraircraftbuilder,interviewedbyHornstein,

talked about his boss: “His targets were usually those of us who were most

competent.Imean,ifyou’rereallyconcernedaboutourperformance,youdon’t

pick on those who are performing best.” But if you’re really concerned about

yourcompetence,youdo.

Whenbossesmeteouthumiliation,achangecomesovertheplace.Everything

startsrevolvingaroundpleasingtheboss.InGoodtoGreat,Collinsnotesthatin

manyofhiscomparisoncompanies(theonesthatdidn’tgofromgoodtogreat,

orthatwentthereanddeclinedagain),theleaderbecamethemainthingpeople

worried about. “The minute a leader allows himself to become the primary

realitypeopleworryabout,ratherthanrealitybeingtheprimaryreality,youhave

arecipeformediocrity,orworse.”

In the 1960s and ’70s, the Chase Manhattan Bank was ruled by David

Rockefeller,anexcessivelycontrollingleader.AccordingtoCollinsandPorras

inBuilttoLast,hismanagersliveddaytodayinfearofhisdisapproval.Atthe

endofeachday,theybreathedasighofrelief:“Whew!Onemoredaygoneand

I’m not in trouble.” Even long past his heyday, senior managers refused to

venture a new idea because “David might not like it.” Ray Macdonald of

Burroughs,CollinsandPorrasreport,publiclyridiculedmanagersformistakes

tothepointwhereheinhibitedthemfrominnovating.Asaresult,eventhough

Burroughswas aheadofIBM intheearly stagesofthe computerindustry,the

companylostout.ThesamethinghappenedatTexasInstruments,anotherleader

in the exciting early days of the computer. If they didn’t like a presentation,

Mark Shepherd and Fred Bucy would yell, bang on tables, insult the speaker,

andhurlthings.Nowondertheirpeoplelosttheirenterprisingspirit.

Whenbossesbecomecontrollingandabusive,theyputeveryoneintoafixed

mindset.Thismeansthatinsteadoflearning,growing,andmovingthecompany

forward,everyonestartsworryingaboutbeingjudged.Itstartswiththebosses’

worryaboutbeing judged,butit windsupbeingeverybody’s fearaboutbeing

judged. It’s hard for courage and innovation to survive a companywide fixed

mindset.

GROWTH-MINDSETLEADERSINACTION

Andrew Carnegie once said, “I wish to have as my epitaph: ‘Here lies a man

whowaswiseenoughtobringintohisservicemenwhoknewmorethanhe.’ ”

Okay,let’sopenthewindowsandletsomeairin.Thefixedmindsetfeelsso

stifling.Evenwhenthoseleadersareglobe-trottingandhobnobbingwithworld

figures, their world seems so small and confining—because their minds are

alwaysononething:Validateme!

Whenyouentertheworldofthegrowth-mindsetleaders,everythingchanges.

Itbrightens,itexpands,itfillswithenergy,withpossibility.Youthink,Gee,that

seemslikefun!Ithasneverenteredmymindtoleadacorporation,butwhenI

learned about what these leaders had done, it sounded like the most exciting

thingintheworld.

I’vechosenthreeoftheseleaderstoexploreasacontrasttothefixed-mindset

leaders.IchoseJackWelchofGeneralElectricbecauseheisalarger-than-life

figure with an ego he held in check—not your straight-ahead naturally self-

effacinggrowth-mindedguy.AndIchoseLouGerstner(themanwhocamein

and saved IBM) and Anne Mulcahy (the woman who brought Xerox back to

life)ascontraststoAlfredDunlap,theotherturnaroundexpert.

Jack Welch, Lou Gerstner, and Anne Mulcahy are also fascinating because

theytransformedtheircompanies.Theydidthisbyrootingoutthefixedmindset

and putting a culture of growth and teamwork in its place. With Gerstner and

IBM,it’slikewatchingEnronmorphintoagrowth-mindsetmecca.

As growth-minded leaders, they start with a belief in human potential and

development—boththeirownandotherpeople’s.Insteadofusingthecompany

as a vehicle for their greatness, they use it as an engine of growth—for

themselves,theemployees,andthecompanyasawhole.

WarrenBennishassaidthattoomanybossesaredrivenanddrivingbutgoing

nowhere. Not these people. They don’t talk royalty. They talk journey. An

inclusive,learning-filled,rollickingjourney.

Jack:Listening,Crediting,Nurturing

WhenJackWelchtookover GEin1980, thecompanywas valuedatfourteen

billiondollars.Twentyyearslater,itwasvaluedbyWallStreetat$490billion.

Itwasthemostvaluablecompanyintheworld.FortunemagazinecalledWelch

“the most widely admired, studied, and imitated CEO of his time….His total

economicimpactisimpossibletocalculatebutmustbeastaggeringmultipleof

hisGEperformance.”

Buttomeevenmoreimpressivewasanop-edpieceinTheNewYorkTimes

bySteveBennett,theCEOofIntuit.“Ilearnedaboutnurturingemployeesfrom

mytimeatGeneralElectricfromJackWelch….He’dgodirectlytothefront-line

employeetofigureoutwhatwasgoingon.Sometimeintheearly1990s,Isaw

himinafactorywheretheymaderefrigeratorsinLouisville….Hewentrightto

theworkersintheassemblylinetohearwhattheyhadtosay.IdofrequentCEO

chatswithfront-lineemployees.IlearnedthatfromJack.”

This vignette says a lot. Jack was obviously a busy guy. An important guy.

Buthedidn’trunthingslikeIacocca—fromtheluxuriouscorporateheadquarters

where his most frequent contacts were the white-gloved waiters. Welch never

stoppedvisitingthefactoriesandhearingfromtheworkers.Thesewerepeople

herespected,learnedfrom,and,inturn,nurtured.

Thenthereistheemphasisonteamwork,nottheroyalI.Rightaway—right

fromthe“Dedication”andthe“Author’sNote”ofWelch’sautobiography—you

knowsomethingisdifferent.It’snotthe“I’mahero”ofLeeIacoccaorthe“I’m

asuperstar”ofAlfredDunlap—althoughhecouldeasilylayclaimtoboth.

Instead,it’s“Ihatehavingtousethefirstperson.NearlyeverythingI’vedone

in my life has been accomplished with other people….Please remember that

everytimeyouseethewordIinthesepages,itreferstoallthosecolleaguesand

friendsandsomeImighthavemissed.”

Or“[Thesepeople]filledmyjourneywithgreatfunandlearning.Theyoften

mademelookbetterthanIam.”

Alreadyweseethemememeofthevalidation-hungryCEObecomingthewe

andusofthegrowth-mindedleader.

Interestingly,beforeWelchcouldrootthefixedmindsetoutofthecompany,

hehadtorootitoutofhimself.Andbelieveme,Welchhadalongwaytogo.He

wasnotalwaystheleaderhelearnedtobe.In1971,Welchwasbeingconsidered

for a promotion when the head of GE human resources wrote a cautioning

memo.HenotedthatdespiteWelch’smanystrengths,theappointment“carries

withitmorethantheusualdegreeofrisk.”HewentontosaythatWelchwas

arrogant,couldn’ttakecriticism,anddependedtoomuchonhistalentinsteadof

hardworkandhisknowledgeablestaff.Notgoodsigns.

Fortunately,every timehissuccess wenttohis head,hegot awake-upcall.

One day, young “Dr.” Welch, decked out in his fancy suit, got into his new

convertible.Heproceededtoputthetopdownandwaspromptlysquirtedwith

dark,grungyoil thatruinedboth his suitandthe paintjobonhis belovedcar.

“ThereIwas,thinkingIwaslargerthanlife,andsmackcamethereminderthat

broughtmebacktoreality.Itwasagreatlesson.”

Thereisawholechaptertitled“TooFullofMyself”aboutthetimehewason

an acquisition roll and felt he could do no wrong. Then he bought Kidder,

Peabody,a WallStreet investmentbanking firmwithanEnron-typeculture.It

was a disaster that lost hundreds of millions of dollars for GE. “ The Kidder

experience never left me.” It taught him that “there’s only a razor’s edge

between self-confidence and hubris. This time hubris won and taught me a

lessonIwouldneverforget.”

Whathelearnedwasthis:Trueself-confidenceis“thecouragetobeopen—to

welcomechangeandnewideasregardlessoftheirsource.”Realself-confidence

is not reflected in a title, an expensive suit, a fancy car, or a series of

acquisitions.Itisreflectedinyourmindset:yourreadinesstogrow.

Well,humilityisastart,butwhataboutthemanagementskills?

From his experiences, Welch learned more and more about the kind of

manager he wanted to be: a growth-minded manager—a guide, not a judge.

WhenWelchwasayoungengineeratGE,hecausedachemicalexplosionthat

blew the roof off the building he worked in. Emotionally shaken by what

happened, he nervously drove the hundred miles to company headquarters to

face the music and explain himself to the boss. But when he got there, the

treatment he received was understanding and supportive. He never forgot it.

“Charlie’s reaction made a huge impression on me….If we’re managing good

people who are clearly eating themselves up over an error, our job is to help

themthroughit.”

He learned how to select people: for their mindset, not their pedigrees.

Originally, academic pedigrees impressed him. He hired engineers from MIT,

Princeton,andCaltech.Butafterawhile,herealizedthatwasn’twhatcounted.“

EventuallyI learned that I was really looking for people who were filled with

passionandadesiretogetthingsdone.Aresumedidn’ttellmemuchaboutthat

innerhunger.”

ThencameachancetobecometheCEO.Eachofthethreecandidateshadto

convincethereigningCEOhewasbestforthejob.Welchmadethepitchonthe

basisofhiscapacitytogrow.Hedidn’tclaimthathewasageniusorthathewas

thegreatestleaderwhoeverlived.Hepromisedtodevelop.Hegotthejoband

madegoodonhispromise.

Immediately,heopenedupdialogueandthechannelsforhonestfeedback.He

quickly set to work asking executives what they liked and disliked about the

companyandwhattheythoughtneededchanging.Boy,weretheysurprised.In

fact,they’dbeensousedtokissinguptothebossesthattheycouldn’tevenget

theirmindsaroundthesequestions.

Thenhespreadtheword:Thiscompanyisaboutgrowth,notself-importance.

Heshutdownelitism—quitethe opposite of our fixed-mindset leaders. One

evening,Welchaddressed an elite executiveclubatGE that wastheplacefor

moversandshakerstoseeandbeseen.Totheirshock,hedidnottellthemhow

wonderful they were. He told them, “I can’t find any value in what you’re

doing.”Instead,heaskedthemtothinkofarolethatmademoresenseforthem

and for the company. A month later, the president of the club came to Welch

withanewidea:toturntheclubintoaforceofcommunityvolunteers.Twenty

years later that program, open to all employees, had forty-two thousand

members. They were running mentoring programs in inner-city schools and

buildingparks,playgrounds, andlibrariesfor communitiesinneed. They were

nowmakingacontributiontoothers’growth,nottotheirownegos.

Hegotridofbrutalbosses.Iacoccatoleratedandevenadmiredbrutalbosses

whocouldmaketheworkersproduce.Itservedhisbottomline.Welchadmitted

that he, too, had often looked the other way. But in the organization he now

envisioned,hecouldnotdothat.Infrontoffivehundredmanagers,“Iexplained

why four corporate officers were asked to leave during the prior year—even

though they delivered good financial performance….[They] were asked to go

because they didn’t practice our values.” The approved way to foster

productivitywasnowthroughmentoring,notthroughterror.

Andherewardedteamworkratherthanindividualgenius.Foryears,GE,like

Enron,hadrewardedthesingleoriginatorofanidea,butnowWelchwantedto

reward the team that brought the ideas to fruition. “ As a result, leaders were

encouraged to share the credit for ideas with their teams rather than take full

credit themselves. It made a huge difference in how we all related to one

another.”

Jack Welch was not a perfect person, but he was devoted to growth. This

devotionkepthisegoincheck,kepthimconnectedtoreality,andkepthimin

touch with his humanity. In the end, it made his journey prosperous and

fulfillingforthousandsofpeople.

Lou:RootingOuttheFixedMindset

By the late 1980s, IBM had become Enron, with one exception. The board of

directorsknewitwasintrouble.

Ithadacultureofsmugnessandelitism.Withinthecompany,itwastheold

We are royalty, but I’m more royal than you are syndrome. There was no

teamwork, only turf wars. There were deals but no follow-up. There was no

concern for the customer. Yet this probably wouldn’t have bothered anyone if

businessweren’tsuffering.

In1993,theyturnedtoLouGerstnerandaskedhimtobethenewCEO.He

saidno.Theyaskedhimagain.“YouoweittoAmerica.We’regoingtohave

President Clinton call and tell you to take the job. Please, please, please. We

want exactly the kind of strategy and culture change you created at American

ExpressandRJR.”

Intheend he caved, althoughhecan’tremember why. ButIBMnow had a

leaderwhobelievedinpersonalgrowthandincreatingacorporateculturethat

wouldfosterit.HowdidheproduceitatIBM?

First,as Welchhaddone, heopenedthe channelsofcommunicationupand

down the company. Six days after he arrived, he sent a memo to every IBM

worker,tellingthem:“Overthenextfewmonths,Iplantovisitasmanyofour

operations and offices as I can. And whenever possible, I plan to meet with

manyofyoutotalkabouthowtogetherwecanstrengthenthecompany.”

Hededicatedhisbook to them: “This bookisdedicatedtothe thousands of

IBMerswhonevergaveupontheircompany,theircolleagues,andthemselves.

TheyaretherealheroesofthereinventionofIBM.”

As Welch had done, he attacked the elitism. Like Enron, the whole culture

wasaboutgrapplingforpersonalstatuswithinthecompany.Gerstnerdisbanded

the management committee, the ultimate power role for IBM executives, and

oftenwentoutsidetheupperechelonsforexpertise.Fromagrowthmindset,it’s

not only the select few that have something to offer. “ Hierarchy means very

little to me. Let’s put together in meetings the people who can help solve a

problem,regardlessofposition.”

Then came teamwork. Gerstner fired politicians, those who indulged in

internalintrigue, andinsteadrewarded peoplewhohelpedtheircolleagues. He

stopped IBM sales divisions from putting each other down to clients to win

businessforthemselves.Hestartedbasingexecutives’bonusesmoreonIBM’s

overallperformanceand less on theperformanceoftheir individual units.The

message:We’renotlookingtocrownafewprinces;weneedtoworkasateam.

As at Enron, the deal was the glamorous thing; the rest was pedestrian.

Gerstner was appalled by the endless failure to follow through on deals and

decisions, and the company’s unlimited tolerance of it. He demanded and

inspiredbetterexecution.Message:Geniusisnotenough;weneedtogetthejob

done.

Finally,Gerstner focusedonthe customer.IBM customersfeltbetrayed and

angry.IBMwassointoitselfthatitwasnolongerservingtheircomputerneeds.

Theywereupsetaboutpricing.TheywerefrustratedbythebureaucracyatIBM.

TheywereirritatedthatIBMwasnothelpingthemtointegratetheirsystems.At

a meeting of 175 chief information officers of the largest U.S. companies,

GerstnerannouncedthatIBMwouldnowputthecustomerfirstandbackeditup

byannouncingadrastic cut intheirmainframecomputer prices. Message:We

arenothereditaryroyalty;weserveatthepleasureofourclients.

Attheendofhisfirstthreearduousmonths,Gerstnerreceivedhisreportcard

from Wall Street: “[ IBM stock] has done nothing, because he has done

nothing.”

Tickedoff but undaunted, Gerstner continued his anti-royalty campaign and

broughtIBMbackfromits“near-deathexperience.”Thiswasthesprint.Thisis

whenDunlapwouldhavetakenhismoneyandrun.Whatlayaheadwastheeven

hardertaskofmaintaininghispolicies until IBM regained industry leadership.

Thatwasthemarathon.BythetimehegaveIBMbacktotheIBMersinMarch

2002, the stock had increased in value by 800 percent and IBM was “number

oneintheworldinITservices,hardware,enterprisesoftware(excludingPCs),

and custom-designed, high performance computer chips.” What’s more, IBM

wasonceagaindefiningthefuturedirectionoftheindustry.

Anne:Learning,Toughness,andCompassion

TakeIBM.Plungeitintodebttothetuneofseventeenbillion.Destroyitscredit

rating.MakeitthetargetofSECinvestigations.Anddropitsstockfrom$63.69

to$4.43ashare.Whatdoyouget?Xerox.

That was the Xerox Anne Mulcahy took over in 2000. Not only had the

companyfailedtodiversify,itcouldnolongerevensellitscopymachines.But

three years later, Xerox had had four straight profitable quarters, and in 2004

FortunenamedMulcahy“thehottestturnaroundactsinceLouGerstner.”How

didshedoit?

She went into an incredible learning mode, making herself into the CEO

Xeroxneededtosurvive.Sheandhertoppeople,likeUrsulaBurns,learnedthe

nitty-grittyofeverypartofthebusiness.Forexample,asFortunewriterBetsy

Morris explains, Mulcahy took Balance Sheet 101. She learned about debt,

inventory,taxes,andcurrencysoshecouldpredicthoweachdecisionshemade

would play out on the balance sheet. Every weekend, she took home large

bindersand poredoverthem asthoughher finalexamwas onMonday.When

shetookthehelm,peopleatXeroxunitscouldn’tgivehersimpleanswersabout

whattheyhad,whattheysold,orwhowasincharge.ShebecameaCEOwho

knewthoseanswersorknewwheretogetthem.

She was tough. She told everyone the cold, hard truth they didn’t want to

know—like how the Xerox business model was not viable or how close the

companywastorunningoutofmoney.Shecuttheemployeerollsby30percent.

But she was no Chainsaw Al. Instead, she bore the emotional brunt of her

decisions,roamingthehalls,hangingoutwiththeemployees,andsaying“I’m

sorry.”Shewastoughbutcompassionate.Infact,she’dwakeupinthemiddleof

the night worrying about what would happen to the remaining employees and

retireesifthecompanyfolded.

Sheworriedconstantlyaboutthemoraleanddevelopmentofherpeople,so

thatevenwiththecuts,sherefusedtosacrificetheuniqueandwonderfulpartsof

the Xerox culture. Xerox was known throughout the industry as the company

that gave retirement parties and hosted retiree reunions. As the employees

struggled side by side with her, she refused to abolish their raises and, in a

morale-boostinggesture,gavethemall their birthdays off. She wantedtosave

thecompanyinbodyandspirit.Andnotforherselforherego,butforallher

peoplewhowerestretchingthemselvestothelimitforthecompany.

Afterslavingawayfortwoyears,MulcahyopenedTimemagazineonlytosee

apictureof herselfgroupedwith the notoriousheadsof TycoandWorldCom,

men responsible for two of the biggest corporate management disasters of our

time.

Butayearlatersheknewherhardworkwasfinallypayingoffwhenoneof

her board members, the former CEO of Procter & Gamble, told her, “I never

thoughtIwouldbeproudtohavemynameassociatedwiththiscompanyagain.

Iwaswrong.”

Mulcahywaswinningthesprint.Nextcamethemarathon.CouldXeroxwin

that,too?Maybeithadrestedonitslaurelstoolong,resistingchangeandletting

toomanychancesgoby.Ormaybethegrowthmindset—Mulcahy’smissionto

transform herself and her company—would help save another American

institution.

Jack, Lou, and Anne—all believing in growth, all brimming with passion.

And all believing that leadership is about growth and passion, not about

brilliance.Thefixed-mindsetleaderswere,intheend,fullofbitterness,butthe

growth-mindedleaderswerefullofgratitude.Theylookedupwithgratitudeto

theirworkerswhohadmadetheiramazingjourneypossible.Theycalledthem

therealheroes.

AreCEOandMaleSynonymous?

When you look at the books written by and about CEOs, you would think so.

JimCollins’sgood-to-greatleaders(andhiscomparisontonot-so-greatleaders)

wereallmen.Perhapsthat’sbecausemenaretheoneswho’vebeenatthetopfor

alongwhile.

Afewyearsago,you’dhavebeenhard-pressedtothinkofwomenatthetop

ofbigcompanies.Infact,manywomenwho’verunbigcompanieshadtocreate

them, like Mary Kay Ash (the cosmetics tycoon), Martha Stewart, or Oprah

Winfrey. Or inherit them, like Katharine Graham, the former head of The

WashingtonPost.

Thingsarebeginningtochange.Womennowholdmorekeypositionsinbig

business. They’ve been the CEOs of not only Xerox, but also eBay, Hewlett-

Packard, Viacom’s MTV Networks, Time Warner’s Time, Inc., Lucent

Technologies,andRiteAid.Womenhavebeenthepresidentsorchieffinancial

officers of Citigroup, PepsiCo, and Verizon. In fact, Fortune magazine called

Meg Whitman of eBay “maybe…the best CEO in America” of the “world’s

hottestcompany.”

Iwonderwhether,inafewyears,I’llbeabletowritethiswholechapterwith

womenas themaincharacters.Onthe otherhand,I hopenot.Ihopethat ina

fewyears,itwillbehardtofindfixed-mindsetleaders—menorwomen—atthe

topofourmostimportantcompanies.

ASTUDYOFGROUPPROCESSES

ResearcherRobertWoodandhiscolleaguesdidanothergreatstudy.Thistime

theycreatedmanagementgroups,thirtygroupswiththreepeopleeach.Halfof

thegroupshadthreepeoplewithafixedmindsetandhalfhadthreepeoplewith

agrowthmindset.

Those with the fixed mindset believed that: “People have a certain fixed

amount of management ability and they cannot do much to change it.” In

contrast, those with the growth mindset believed: “People can always

substantiallychangetheirbasicskillsformanagingotherpeople.”Soonegroup

thoughtthatyouhaveitoryoudon’t;theotherthoughtyourskillscouldgrow

withexperience.

Every group had worked together for some weeks when they were given,

jointly,thetaskItalkedaboutbefore:acomplexmanagementtaskinwhichthey

ranasimulatedorganization,afurniturecompany.Ifyouremember,onthistask

peoplehadtofigureouthowtomatchworkerswithjobsandhowtomotivate

themformaximumproductivity.Butthistime,insteadofworkingindividually,

peoplecoulddiscusstheirchoicesandthefeedbacktheygot,andworktogether

toimprovetheirdecisions.

The fixed-and growth-mindset groups started with the same ability, but as

timewentonthegrowth-mindsetgroupsclearlyoutperformedthefixed-mindset

ones.Andthisdifferencebecameeverlargerthelongerthegroupsworked.Once

again,thosewiththegrowthmindsetprofitedfromtheirmistakesandfeedback

farmorethanthefixed-mindsetpeople.Butwhatwasevenmoreinterestingwas

howthegroupsfunctioned.

The members of the growth-mindset groups were much more likely to state

their honest opinions and openly express their disagreements as they

communicated about their management decisions. Everyone was part of the

learning process. For the fixed-mindset groups—with their concern about who

wassmartordumbortheiranxietyaboutdisapprovalfortheirideas—thatopen,

productivediscussiondidnothappen.Instead,itwasmorelikegroupthink.

GROUPTHINKVERSUSWETHINK

In the early 1970s, Irving Janis popularized the term groupthink. It’s when

everyone in a group starts thinking alike. No one disagrees. No one takes a

critical stance. It can lead to catastrophic decisions, and, as the Wood study

suggests,itoftencancomerightoutofafixedmindset.

Groupthinkcanoccurwhenpeopleputunlimitedfaithinatalentedleader,a

genius.ThisiswhatledtothedisastrousBayofPigsinvasion,America’shalf-

baked secret plan to invade Cuba and topple Castro. President Kennedy’s

normallyastuteadviserssuspendedtheirjudgment.Why?Becausetheythought

hewasgoldenandeverythinghedidwasboundtosucceed.

According to Arthur Schlesinger, an insider, the men around Kennedy had

unboundedfaithinhisabilityandluck.“Everythinghadbrokenrightforhim

since1956.Hehadwonthenominationandtheelectionagainstalltheoddsin

thebook.EveryonearoundhimthoughthehadtheMidastouchandcouldnot

lose.”

Schlesinger also said, “Had one senior advisor opposed the adventure, I

believe that Kennedy would have canceled it. No one spoke against it.” To

prevent this from happening to him, Winston Churchill set up a special

department. Others might be in awe of his titanic persona, but the job of this

department,JimCollinsreports,wastogiveChurchillalltheworstnews.Then

Churchillcouldsleepwellatnight,knowinghehadnotbeengroupthinkedintoa

falsesenseofsecurity.

Groupthinkcan happenwhen thegroupgetscarriedawaywithitsbrilliance

and superiority. At Enron, the executives believed that because they were

brilliant, all of their ideas were brilliant. Nothing would ever go wrong. An

outside consultant kept asking Enron people, “Where do you think you’re

vulnerable?” Nobody answered him. Nobody even understood the question. “

We got to the point,” said a top executive, “where we thought we were bullet

proof.”

AlfredP.Sloan,theformerCEOofGeneralMotors,presentsanicecontrast.

Hewasleadingagroupofhigh-levelpolicymakerswhoseemedtohavereached

aconsensus.“Gentlemen,”hesaid,“Itakeitweareallincompleteagreement

on the decision here….Then I propose we postpone further discussion of this

matteruntilournextmeetingtogiveourselvestimetodevelopdisagreementand

perhapsgainsomeunderstandingofwhatthedecisionisallabout.”

Herodotus,writinginthefifthcenturyB.C.,reportedthattheancientPersians

usedaversionofSloan’stechniquesto preventgroupthink.Wheneveragroup

reachedadecisionwhilesober,theylaterreconsidereditwhileintoxicated.

Groupthink can also happen when a fixed-mindset leader punishes dissent.

Peoplemaynotstopthinkingcritically,buttheystopspeakingup.Iacoccatried

tosilence(orgetridof)peoplewhowerecriticalofhisideasanddecisions.He

saidthenew,roundercarslookedlikeflyingpotatoes,andthatwastheendofit.

Noonewasallowedtodiffer,asChrysleranditssquarecarslostmoreandmore

ofthemarketshare.

DavidPackard,ontheotherhand,gaveanemployeeamedalfordefyinghim.

The co-founder of Hewlett-Packard tells this story. Years ago at a Hewlett-

Packardlab,theytoldayoungengineertogiveupworkonadisplaymonitorhe

was developing. In response, he went “on vacation,” touring California and

dropping in on potential customers to show them the monitor and gauge their

interest. The customers loved it, he continued working on it, and then he

somehow persuaded his manager to put it into production. The company sold

more than seventeen thousand of his monitors and reaped a sales revenue of

thirty-five million dollars. Later, at a meeting of Hewlett-Packard engineers,

Packardgavetheyoungmanamedal“forextraordinarycontemptanddefiance

beyondthenormalcallofengineeringduty.”

There are so many ways the fixed mindset creates groupthink. Leaders are

seen as gods who never err. A group invests itself with special talents and

powers. Leaders, to bolster their ego, suppress dissent. Or workers, seeking

validationfromleaders,fallintolinebehindthem.That’swhyit’scriticaltobe

in a growth mindset when important decisions are made. As Robert Wood

showedinhisstudy,agrowthmindset—byrelievingpeopleoftheillusionsor

the burdens of fixed ability—leads to a full and open discussion of the

informationandtoenhanceddecisionmaking.

THEPRAISEDGENERATIONHITSTHEWORKFORCE

Arewegoingtohaveaproblemfindingleadersinthefuture?Youcan’tpickup

amagazineorturnontheradiowithouthearingabouttheproblemofpraisein

theworkplace.Wecouldhaveseenitcoming.

We’vetalkedabout allthewell-meaning parentswho’vetriedto boosttheir

children’s self-esteem by telling them how smart and talented they are. And

we’ve talked about all the negative effects of this kind of praise. Well, these

childrenofpraisehavenowenteredtheworkforce,andsureenough,manycan’t

function without getting a sticker for their every move. Instead of yearly

bonuses,somecompaniesaregivingquarterlyorevenmonthlybonuses.Instead

ofemployeeofthemonth,it’stheemployeeoftheday.Companiesarecallingin

consultants to teach them how best to lavish rewards on this overpraised

generation. We now have a workforce full of people who need constant

reassuranceandcan’ttakecriticism.Notarecipeforsuccessinbusiness,where

taking on challenges, showing persistence, and admitting and correcting

mistakesareessential.

Why are businesses perpetuating the problem? Why are they continuing the

same misguided practices of the overpraising parents, and paying money to

consultantstoshowthemhowtodoit?Maybeweneedtostepbackfromthis

problemandtakeanotherperspective.

If the wrong kinds of praise lead kids down the path of entitlement,

dependence,andfragility,maybetherightkindsofpraisecanleadthemdown

thepathofhardworkandgreaterhardiness.Wehaveshowninourresearchthat

with the right kinds of feedback even adults can be motivated to choose

challengingtasksandconfronttheirmistakes.

Whatwouldthisfeedbacklookorsoundlikeintheworkplace?Insteadofjust

giving employees an award for the smartest idea or praise for a brilliant

performance, they would get praise for taking initiative, for seeing a difficult

taskthrough,forstrugglingandlearningsomethingnew,forbeingundauntedby

asetback,orforbeingopentoandactingoncriticism.Maybeitcouldbepraise

fornotneedingconstantpraise!

Through a skewed sense of how to love their children, many parents in the

’90s(and,unfortunately,manyparentsofthe’00s)abdicatedtheirresponsibility.

Although corporations are not usually in the business of picking up where

parents left off, they may need to this time. If businesses don’t play a role in

developingamorematureandgrowth-mindedworkforce,wherewilltheleaders

ofthefuturecomefrom?

ARENEGOTIATORSBORNORMADE?

One of the key things that the successful businessperson must be good at is

negotiation. In fact, it’s hard to imagine how a business could thrive without

skillednegotiatorsatthehelm.LauraKrayandMichaelHaselhuhnhaveshown

that mindsets have an important impact on negotiation success. In one study,

they taught people either a fixed or a growth mindset about negotiation skills.

Halfoftheparticipantsreadanarticlecalled“NegotiationAbility,LikePlaster,

IsPrettyStableOverTime.”Theotherhalfreadonecalled“NegotiationAbility

IsChangeableandCanBeDeveloped.”Togiveyouaflavorforthearticles,the

growth mindset article started by saying, “While it used to be believed that

negotiatingwasafixedskillthatpeoplewereeitherbornwithornot,expertsin

the field now believe that negotiating is a dynamic skill that can be cultivated

anddevelopedoveralifetime.”

The participants were then asked to select the kind of negotiation task they

wanted.Theycouldchooseonethatshowedofftheirnegotiationskills,although

they would not learn anything new. Or they could choose one in which they

might make mistakes and get confused, but they would learn some useful

negotiationskills.Almost half (47 percent) of the people who were taught the

fixedmindsetaboutnegotiationskillschosethetaskthatsimplyshowedofftheir

skills,butonly12percentofthosewhoweretaughtthegrowthmindsetcaredto

pursuethisshow-offytask.Thismeansthat88percentofthepeoplewholearned

a growth mindset wanted to dig into the task that would improve their

negotiationskills.

Intheirnextstudy,KrayandHaselhuhnmonitoredpeopleastheyengagedin

negotiations. Again, half of the people were given a fixed mindset about

negotiationskills andtheother halfweregiven agrowthmindset.Thepeople,

twoatatime,engagedinanemploymentnegotiation.Ineachpair,oneperson

was the job candidate and the other was the recruiter, and they negotiated on

eight issues, including salary, vacation time, and benefits. By the end of the

negotiation,thosewiththegrowthmindsetweretheclearwinners,doingalmost

twiceaswellasthosewiththefixedmindset.Thepeoplewhohadlearnedthe

growthmindsetperseveredthroughtheroughspotsandstalematestogainmore

favorableoutcomes.

In three final studies, the researchers looked at MBA students enrolled in a

course on negotiation. Here they measured the mindsets the MBA students

alreadyhad,askingthemhowmuchtheyagreedwithfixedmindsetstatements

(“Thekindofnegotiatorsomeoneisisverybasicanditcan’tbechangedvery

much,” “Good negotiators are born that way”) and growth mindset statements

(“All people can change even their most basic negotiation qualities,” “In

negotiations,experience isagreat teacher”).Similartobefore,they foundthat

the more of a growth mindset the student had, the better he or she did on the

negotiationtask.

Butdoesagrowthmindsetmakepeoplegoodjustatgettingtheirownway?

Often negotiations require people to understand and try to serve the other

person’sinterestsaswell.Ideally,attheendofanegotiation,bothpartiesfeel

theirneedshavebeenmet.Inastudywithamorechallengingnegotiationtask,

those with a growth mindset were able to get beyond initial failures by

constructingadealthataddressedbothparties’underlyinginterests.So,notonly

do those with a growth mindset gain more lucrative outcomes for themselves,

but,moreimportant,theyalsocomeupwithmorecreativesolutionsthatconfer

benefitsallaround.

Finally, a growth mindset promoted greater learning. Those MBA students

whoendorsedagrowthmindsetonthefirstdayofthenegotiationcourseearned

higher final grades in the course weeks later. This grade was based on

performance on written assignments, in class discussions, and during class

presentations, and reflected a deeper comprehension of negotiation theory and

practice.

CORPORATETRAINING:AREMANAGERSBORNORMADE?

Millions of dollars and thousands of hours are spent each year trying to teach

leaders and managers how to coach their employees and give them effective

feedback. Yet much of this training is ineffective, and many leaders and

managersremainpoorcoaches.Isthatbecausethiscan’tbetrained?No,that’s

notthereason.Researchshedslightonwhycorporatetrainingoftenfails.

StudiesbyPeterHeslin,DonVandeWalle,andGaryLathamshowthatmany

managers do not believe in personal change. These fixed-mindset managers

simply look for existing talent—they judge employees as competent or

incompetentat thestartand that’sthat.They dorelativelylittledevelopmental

coaching and when employees do improve, they may fail to take notice,

remaining stuck in their initial impression. What’s more (like managers at

Enron), they are far less likely to seek or accept critical feedback from their

employees. Why bother to coach employees if they can’t change and why get

feedbackfromthemifyoucan’tchange?

Managerswithagrowthmindsetthinkit’snicetohavetalent,butthat’sjust

the starting point. These managers are more committed to their employees’

development, and to their own. They give a great deal more developmental

coaching, they notice improvement in employees’ performance, and they

welcomecritiquesfromtheiremployees.

Mostexciting,thegrowthmindsetcanbetaughttomanagers.Heslinandhis

colleaguesconductedabriefworkshopbasedonwell-establishedpsychological

principles.(By the way, with a few changes, it could just as easily be used to

promoteagrowthmindsetinteachersorcoaches.)Theworkshopstartsoffwith

a video and a scientific article about how the brain changes with learning. As

withour“Brainology”workshop(describedinchapter8),it’salwayscompelling

for people to understand how dynamic the brain is and how it changes with

learning.Thearticlegoesontotalkabouthowchangeispossiblethroughoutlife

and how people can develop their abilities at most tasks with coaching and

practice.Althoughmanagers,ofcourse,wanttofindtherightpersonforajob,

the exactly right person doesn’t always come along. However, training and

experiencecanoftendrawoutanddevelopthequalitiesrequiredforsuccessful

performance.

Theworkshopthentakesmanagersthroughaseriesofexercisesinwhicha)

they consider why it’s important to understand that people can develop their

abilities, b) they think of areas in which they once had low ability but now

performwell,c)theywritetoastrugglingprotégéabouthowhisorherabilities

can be developed, and d) they recall times they have seen people learn to do

thingstheyneverthoughtthesepeoplecoulddo.Ineachcase,theyreflectupon

whyandhowchangetakesplace.

Aftertheworkshop,therewasarapidchangeinhowreadilytheparticipating

managersdetectedimprovementinemployeeperformance,inhowwillingthey

weretocoachapoorperformer,andinthequantityandqualityoftheircoaching

suggestions.What’smore, these changes persistedoverthesix-week period in

whichtheywerefollowedup.

Whatdoesthismean?First,itmeansthatourbestbetisnotsimplytohirethe

most talented managers we can find and turn them loose, but to look for

managerswhoalsoembodyagrowthmindset:azestforteachingandlearning,

an openness to giving and receiving feedback, and an ability to confront and

surmountobstacles.

Italsomeansweneedtotrainleaders,managers,andemployeestobelievein

growth,inadditiontotrainingtheminthespecificsofeffectivecommunication

andmentoring.Indeed,agrowthmindsetworkshopmightbeagoodfirststepin

anymajortrainingprogram.

Finally,itmeanscreatingagrowth-mindsetenvironmentinwhichpeoplecan

thrive.Thisinvolves:

• Presentingskillsaslearnable

• Conveyingthattheorganizationvalueslearningandperseverance,notjust

ready-madegeniusortalent

• Givingfeedbackinawaythatpromoteslearningandfuturesuccess

• Presentingmanagersasresourcesforlearning

Without a belief in human development, many corporate training programs

becomeexercisesoflimitedvalue.Withabeliefindevelopment,suchprograms

give meaning to the term “human resources” and become a means of tapping

enormouspotential.

ARELEADERSBORNORMADE?

When Warren Bennis interviewed great leaders, “They all agreed leaders are

made, not born, and made more by themselves than by any external means.”

Bennisconcurred:“Ibelieve…thateveryone,ofwhateverageandcircumstance,

is capable of self-transformation.” Not that everyone will become a leader.

Sadly,mostmanagersandevenCEOsbecome bosses,notleaders.Theywield

powerinsteadoftransformingthemselves,theirworkers,andtheirorganization.

Why is this? John Zenger and Joseph Folkman point out that most people,

whentheyfirstbecomemanagers,enteraperiodofgreatlearning.Theygetlots

oftrainingand coaching, theyareopento ideas, and theythinklong and hard

about how to do their jobs. They are looking to develop. But once they’ve

learned the basics, they stop trying to improve. It may seem like too much

trouble, or they may not see where improvement will take them. They are

contenttodotheirjobsratherthanmakingthemselvesintoleaders.

Or, as Morgan McCall argues, many organizations believe in natural talent

and don’t look for people with the potential to develop. Not only are these

organizations missing out on a big pool of possible leaders, but their belief in

naturaltalentmightactuallysquashtheverypeopletheythinkarethenaturals,

making them into arrogant, defensive nonlearners. The lesson is: Create an

organization that prizes the development of ability—and watch the leaders

emerge.

ORGANIZATIONALMINDSETS

When we talked about Lou Gerstner and Anne Mulcahy, we saw the kind of

company they wanted to create—and did create. These were companies that

embracedthedevelopmentofallemployeesandnottheworshipofahandfulof

anointed“geniuses.”Thisraisedaquestion.

Clearlytheleaderofanorganizationcanholdafixedorgrowthmindset,but

cananorganizationasawholehaveamindset?Canithaveapervasivebelief

thattalentisjustfixedor,instead,apervasivebeliefthattalentcanandshould

be developed in all employees? And, if so, what impact will this have on the

organization and its employees? To find out, we studied a group of large

corporationsconsistingofFortune500andFortune1000companies.

An organization might embody a fixed mindset, conveying that employees

either“haveit”ortheydon’t:Wecalledthisa“cultureofgenius.”Oritmight

embodymoreofagrowthmindset,conveyingthatpeoplecangrowandimprove

with effort, good strategies, and good mentoring: We call this a “culture of

development.”

Todetermineacompany’smindset,weaskedadiversesampleofemployees

ateachorganizationhowmuchtheyagreedwithstatementslikethese:Whenit

comes to being successful, this company seems to believe that people have a

certain amount of talent, and they can’t really do much to change it (fixed

mindset). This company values natural intelligence and business talent more

than any other characteristics (also fixed mindset). This company genuinely

valuesthepersonaldevelopmentandgrowthofitsemployees(growthmindset).

We then compiled the responses and they revealed something important:

Therewasastrongconsensuswithineachcompanyaboutwhetherthecompany

hadfixed-orgrowth-mindsetbeliefsandvalues.Wewerenowreadytoexamine

theimpactofthecompany’smindset—onemployees’trustinthecompany,on

theirsenseofempowermentandcommitment,andonthelevelofcollaboration,

innovation,andethicalbehaviorthatwasembracedintheorganization.

What we found was fascinating. People who work in growth-mindset

organizationshavefarmoretrustintheircompanyandamuchgreatersenseof

empowerment, ownership, and commitment. For example, when employees

were asked to rate statements such as “People are trustworthy in this

organization,” those in growth-mindset companies expressed far higher

agreement.Rightinlinewiththis,employeesingrowth-mindsetcompaniesalso

reported that they were much more committed to their company and more

willing to go the extra mile for it: “I feel a strong sense of ownership and

commitmenttothefutureofthiscompany.”Thosewhoworkedinfixed-mindset

companies, however, expressed greater interest in leaving their company for

another.

It’s nice that employees in growth-mindset organizations feel trusting and

committed, but what about agility and innovation? That’s something that

organizationsshould anddocare greatlyaboutthesedays.Perhaps acompany

hastosacrificesomecomfortandloyaltytobeontheleadingedge.Perhapsa

beliefinfixedtalentmotivatesinnovation.

Itdoesn’tlookthatway.

It’s actually the employees in the growth-mindset companies who say that

their organization supports (reasonable) risk-taking, innovation, and creativity.

For example, they agreed far more strongly with statements like this: “This

companygenuinelysupportsrisk-takingandwillsupportmeevenifIfail”and

“People are encouraged to be innovative in this company—creativity is

welcomed.”

Employeesinthefixed-mindsetcompaniesnotonlysaythattheircompanies

are less likely to support them in risk-taking and innovation, they are also far

morelikelytoagreethattheirorganizationsarerifewithcutthroatorunethical

behavior: “In this company there is a lot of cheating, taking shortcuts, and

cutting corners” or “In this company people often hide information and keep

secrets.”Itmakesalotofsensewhenyouthinkaboutit.Whenorganizationsput

thepremiumonnaturaltalent,theneveryonewantstobethesuperstar,everyone

wantstoshinebrighterthantheothers,andpeoplemaybemorelikelytocheat

orcutcornerstodoso.Teamworkcantakeanosedive.

So, employees in growth-mindset companies have more positive views of

theirorganizations,butisthatadmirationreciprocated?Yes,itis.Supervisorsin

growth-mindset companies had significantly more positive views of their

employees—and on dimensions companies should care about. Supervisors in

growth-mindset companies rated their employees as more collaborative and

more committed to learning and growing. And as more innovative. And as

having far greater management potential. These are all things that make a

companymoreagileandmorelikelytostayinthevanguard.

I love this last finding: Supervisors in growth-mindset companies saw their

teammembersashavingfargreatermanagementpotentialthandidsupervisors

infixed-mindsetcompanies.Theysaw futureleadersin themaking.Ilovethe

irony. The fixed-mindset companies presumably searched for the talent, hired

the talent, and rewarded the talent—but now they were looking around and

saying,“Where’sthetalent?”Thetalentwasn’tflourishing.

Ourfindingstellusthatit’spossibletoweaveafixedorgrowthmindsetinto

the very fabric of an organization to create a culture of genius or a culture of

development. Everybody knows that the business models of the past are no

longervalidandthatmoderncompaniesmustconstantlyreinventthemselvesto

stay alive. Which companies do you think have a better chance of thriving in

today’sworld?

GrowYourMindset

• Areyouinafixed-mindsetorgrowth-mindsetworkplace?Do

youfeelpeoplearejustjudgingyouoraretheyhelpingyou

develop?Maybeyoucouldtrymakingitamoregrowth-

mindsetplace,startingwithyourself.Aretherewaysyou

couldbelessdefensiveaboutyourmistakes?Couldyouprofit

morefromthefeedbackyouget?Aretherewaysyoucan

createmorelearningexperiencesforyourself?

• Howdoyouacttowardothersinyourworkplace?Areyoua

fixed-mindsetboss,focusedonyourpowermorethanonyour

employees’well-being?Doyoueverreaffirmyourstatusby

demeaningothers?Doyouevertrytoholdbackhigh-

performingemployeesbecausetheythreatenyou?

Considerwaystohelpyouremployeesdeveloponthejob:

Apprenticeships? Workshops? Coaching sessions? Think

abouthowyou canstartseeingand treatingyouremployees

asyourcollaborators,asateam.Makealistofstrategiesand

trythemout.Dothisevenifyoualreadythinkofyourselfasa

growth-mindset boss. Well-placed support and growth-

promotingfeedbackneverhurt.

• Ifyourunacompany,lookatitfromamindsetperspective.

DoesitneedyoutodoaLouGerstneronit?Thinkseriously

abouthowtorootoutelitismandcreateacultureofself-

examination,opencommunication,andteamwork.Read

Gerstner’sexcellentbookWhoSaysElephantsCan’tDance?

toseehowit’sdone.

• Isyourworkplacesetuptopromotegroupthink?Ifso,the

wholedecision-makingprocessisintrouble.Createwaysto

fosteralternativeviewsandconstructivecriticism.Assign

peopletoplaythedevil’sadvocate,takingopposing

viewpointssoyoucanseetheholesinyourposition.Get

peopletowagedebatesthatarguedifferentsidesoftheissue.

Haveananonymoussuggestionboxthatemployeesmust

contributetoaspartofthedecision-makingprocess.

Remember,peoplecanbeindependentthinkersandteam

playersatthesametime.Helpthemfillbothroles.

Chapter6

RELATIONSHIPS:MINDSETSINLOVE(ORNOT)

What was that about the course of true love never running smooth? Well, the

course to true love isn’t so smooth, either. That path is often strewn with

disappointmentsand heartbreaks. Some people let these experiences scar them

andpreventthemfromformingsatisfyingrelationshipsinthefuture.Othersare

abletohealandmoveon.Whatseparatesthem?Tofindout,werecruitedmore

thanahundredpeopleandaskedthemtotellusaboutaterriblerejection.

WhenIfirstgottoNewYorkIwasincrediblylonely.Ididn’tknow

asoulandItotallyfeltlikeIdidn’tbelonghere.Afteraboutayear

ofmiseryImetJack.It’salmostanunderstatementtosaythatwe

clickedinstantly,wefeltlikewehadknowneachotherforever.It

wasn’t long before we were living together and doing everything

together. I thought I would spend my whole life with him and he

saidhefeltthesameway.Tworeallyhappyyearspassed.Thenone

dayIcamehomeandfoundanote.Hesaidhehadtoleave,don’t

trytofindhim.Hedidn’tevensignitlove.Ineverheardfromhim

again.SometimeswhenthephoneringsIstillthinkmaybeit’shim.

We heard a variation of that story over and over again. People with both

mindsetstoldstorieslikethis.Almosteveryone,atonetimeoranother,hadbeen

inloveandhadbeenhurt.Whatdiffered—anddiffereddramatically—washow

theydealtwithit.

Aftertheytoldtheirstories,weaskedthemfollow-upquestions:Whatdidthis

meantoyou?Howdidyouhandleit?Whatwereyouhopingfor?

When people had the fixed mindset, they felt judged and labeled by the

rejection.Permanentlylabeled.Itwasasthoughaverdicthadbeenhandeddown

andbrandedontheirforeheads:UNLOVABLE!Andtheylashedout.

Becausethe fixedmindsetgivesthemnorecipeforhealingtheir wound,all

theycoulddowashopetowoundthepersonwhoinflictedit.Lydia,thewoman

inthestoryabove,toldusthatshehadlasting,intensefeelingsofbitterness:“I

wouldgetbackathim,hurthimanywayIcouldifIgotthechance.Hedeserves

it.”

Infact,forpeoplewiththefixedmindset,theirnumberonegoalcamethrough

loudandclear.Revenge.Asonemanputit,“Shetookmyworthwithherwhen

sheleft.NotadaygoesbyIdon’tthinkabouthowtomakeherpay.”Duringthe

study, I asked one of my fixed-mindset friends about her divorce. I’ll never

forgetwhatshesaid.“IfIhadtochoosebetweenmebeinghappyandhimbeing

miserable,Iwoulddefinitelywanthimtobemiserable.”

Ithadtobeapersonwiththefixedmindsetwhocoinedthephrase“Revenge

issweet”—theideathatwithrevengecomesyourredemption—becausepeople

withthegrowthmindsethavelittletasteforit.Thestoriestheytoldwereevery

bitaswrenching,buttheirreactionscouldn’thavebeenmoredifferent.

For them, it was about understanding, forgiving, and moving on. Although

they were often deeply hurt by what happened, they wanted to learn from it:

“That relationship and how it ended really taught me the importance of

communicating.Iusedtothinkloveconquersall,butnowIknowitneedsalot

ofhelp.”Thissamemanwentontosay,“Ialsolearnedsomethingaboutwho’s

rightforme.Iguesseveryrelationshipteachesyoumoreaboutwho’srightfor

you.”

There is a French expression: “Tout comprendre c’est tout pardonner.” To

understandallistoforgiveall.Ofcourse,thiscanbecarriedtoofar,butit’sa

good place to start. For people with the growth mindset, the number one goal

was forgiveness. As one woman said: “I’m no saint, but I knew for my own

peaceofmindthatIhadtoforgiveandforget.HehurtmebutIhadawholelife

waitingformeandI’llbedamnedifIwasgoingtoliveitinthepast.OnedayI

justsaid,‘Goodlucktohimandgoodlucktome.’ ”

Because of their growth mindset, they did not feel permanently branded.

Because of it, they tried to learn something useful about themselves and

relationships,somethingtheycouldusetowardhavingabetterexperienceinthe

future.Andtheyknewhowtomoveonandembracethatfuture.

My cousin Cathy embodies the growth mindset. Several years ago, after

twenty-three years of marriage, her husband left her. Then, to add insult to

injury,shewasinanaccidentandhurtherleg.Thereshesat,homealoneone

Saturdaynight,whenshesaidtoherself,“I’llbedamnedifI’mgoingtosithere

and feel sorry for myself!” (Perhaps this phrase should be the mantra of the

growthmindset.)Outshewenttoadance(legandall)whereshemetherfuture

husband.

TheContosfamilyhadpulledoutallthestops.NicoleContos,inherexquisite

wedding dress, arrived at the church in a Rolls-Royce. The archbishop was

inside waiting to perform the ceremony, and hundreds of friends and relatives

fromallovertheworldwereinattendance.Everythingwasperfectuntilthebest

man went over to Nicole and told her the news. The groom would not be

coming.Canyouimaginetheshock,thepain?

Thefamily,thinkingofthehundredsofguests,decidedtogothroughwiththe

reception and dinner. Then, rallying around Nicole, they asked her what she

wantedtodo. In an actofgreatcourage, she changedintoalittle black dress,

wenttotheparty,anddancedsoloto“IWillSurvive.”Itwasnotthedanceshe

hadanticipated,butitwasonethatmadeheraniconofgutsinessinthenational

pressthenextday.Nicolewaslikethefootballplayerwhoranthewrongway.

Here was an event that could have defined and diminished her. Instead it was

onethatenlargedher.

It’s interesting. Nicole spoke repeatedly about the pain and trauma of being

stood up at her wedding, but she never used the word humiliated. If she had

judgedherself,feltflawedandunworthy—humiliated—shewouldhaverunand

hidden.Instead,hergoodcleanpainmadeherabletosurroundherselfwiththe

loveofherfriendsandrelativesandbeginthehealingprocess.

What,bytheway,hadhappenedtothegroom?Asitturnedout,hehadgone

onthehoneymoon,flyingofftoTahitionhisown.WhathappenedtoNicole?A

couple of years later, in the same wedding dress and the same church, she

marriedagreatguy.Wasshescared?No,shesays:“Iknewhewasgoingtobe

there.”

When you think about how rejection wounds and inflames people with the

fixedmindset,itwillcomeasnosurprisethatkidswiththefixedmindsetarethe

oneswhoreacttotauntingandbullyingwiththoughtsofviolentretaliation.I’ll

returntothislater.

RELATIONSHIPSAREDIFFERENT

In his study of gifted people, Benjamin Bloom included concert pianists,

sculptors, Olympic swimmers, tennis players, mathematicians, and research

neurologists.Butnotpeoplewhoweregiftedininterpersonalrelationships.He

plannedto.Afterall,therearesomanyprofessionsinwhichinterpersonalskills

play a key role—teachers, psychologists, administrators, diplomats. But no

matter how hard Bloom tried, he couldn’t find any agreed-upon way of

measuringsocialability.

Sometimes we’re not even sure it’s an ability. When we see people with

outstanding interpersonal skills, we don’t really think of them as gifted. We

thinkofthemascoolpeopleorcharmingpeople.Whenweseeagreatmarriage

relationship,wedon’tsaythesepeoplearebrilliantrelationshipmakers.Wesay

they’refinepeople.Ortheyhavechemistry.Meaningwhat?

Meaning that as a society, we don’t understand relationship skills. Yet

everything is at stake in people’s relationships. Maybe that’s why Daniel

Goleman’sEmotionalIntelligencestrucksucharesponsivechord.Itsaid:There

aresocial-emotionalskillsandIcantellyouwhattheyare.

Mindsets add another dimension. They help us understand even more about

why people often don’t learn the skills they need or use the skills they have.

Why people throw themselves so hopefully into new relationships, only to

underminethemselves.Whyloveoftenturnsintoabattlefieldwherethecarnage

is staggering. And, most important, they help us understand why some people

areabletobuildlastingandsatisfyingrelationships.

MINDSETSFALLINGINLOVE

Sofar,havingafixedmindsethasmeantbelievingyourpersonaltraitsarefixed.

But in relationships, two more things enter the picture—your partner and the

relationship itself. Now you can have a fixed mindset about three things. You

canbelievethatyourqualitiesarefixed,yourpartner’squalitiesarefixed,and

therelationship’squalitiesarefixed—thatit’sinherentlygoodorbad,meant-to-

beornotmeant-to-be.Nowallofthesethingsareupforjudgment.

Thegrowthmindsetsaysallofthesethingscanbedeveloped.All—you,your

partner,andtherelationship—arecapableofgrowthandchange.

Inthefixedmindset,theidealisinstant,perfect,andperpetualcompatibility.

Likeitwasmeanttobe.Likeridingoffintothesunset.Like“theylivedhappily

everafter.”

Many people want to feel their relationship is special and not just some

chance occurrence. This seems okay. So what’s the problem with the fixed

mindset?Therearetwo.

1.IfYouHavetoWorkatIt,ItWasn’tMeanttoBe

One problem is that people with the fixed mindset expect everything good to

happenautomatically.It’snotthatthepartnerswillworktohelpeachothersolve

their problems or gain skills. It’s that this will magically occur through their

love,sortofthewayithappenedtoSleepingBeauty,whosecomawascuredby

her prince’s kiss, or to Cinderella, whose miserable life was suddenly

transformedbyherprince.

Charlene’s friends told her about Max, the new musician in town. He had

cometoplaycellowiththesymphonyorchestra.Thenextnight,Charleneand

her friends went to see the orchestra’s performance, and when they went

backstageafterward,MaxtookCharlene’shandandsaid,“Nexttime,let’smake

itlonger.”Shewastakenwithhisintense,romanticair,andhewastakenwith

her charming manner and exotic looks. As they went out, the intensity grew.

Theyseemedtounderstandeachotherdeeply.Theyenjoyedthesamethings—

food,analyzingpeople,travel.Theyboththought,Wherehaveyoubeenallmy

life?

Overtime,though,Maxbecamemoody.Actually,that’showhewas.Itjust

didn’t show at first. When he was in a bad mood, he wanted to be left alone.

Charlene wanted to talk about what was bothering him, but that irritated him.

“Just leave me alone,” he would insist, more and more forcefully. Charlene,

however,wouldfeelshutout.

Plus, his moods didn’t always happen at convenient times. Sometimes the

couple was scheduled to go out. Sometimes they had planned a special dinner

alone. Either he didn’t want to do it, or she would endure his sullen silence

throughout the evening. If she tried to make light conversation, he would be

disappointedinher:“Ithoughtyouunderstoodme.”

Friends,seeinghowmuchtheycaredabouteachother,urgedthemtoworkon

thisproblem.Buttheybothfelt,withgreatsorrow,thatiftherelationshipwere

the right one, they wouldn’t have to work so hard. If it were the right

relationship,theywouldjustbeabletounderstandandhonoreachother’sneeds.

Sotheygrewapartandeventuallybrokeup.

Inthegrowthmindset,theremaystillbethatexcitinginitialcombustion,but

people in this mindset don’t expect magic. They believe that a good, lasting

relationshipcomesfromeffortandfromworkingthroughinevitabledifferences.

Butthosewiththefixedmindsetdon’tbuythat.Rememberthefixed-mindset

ideathatifyouhaveability,youshouldn’thavetoworkhard?Thisisthesame

beliefappliedtorelationships:Ifyou’recompatible,everythingshouldjustcome

naturally.

Everysinglerelationshipexpertdisagreeswiththis.

AaronBeck,therenownedpsychiatrist,saysthatoneofthemostdestructive

beliefsforarelationshipis“Ifweneedtoworkatit,there’ssomethingseriously

wrongwithourrelationship.”

Says John Gottman, a foremost relationship researcher: “Every marriage

demands an effort to keep it on the right track; there is a constant tension…

betweentheforcesthatholdyoutogetherandthosethatcantearyouapart.”

Aswithpersonalachievement,thisbelief—thatsuccessshouldnotneedeffort

—robspeopleoftheverythingtheyneedtomaketheirrelationshipthrive.It’s

probablywhysomanyrelationshipsgostale—becausepeoplebelievethatbeing

inlovemeansneverhavingtodoanythingtaxing.

MINDREADING

Partofthelow-effortbeliefistheideathatcouplesshouldbeabletoreadeach

other’sminds:Wearelikeone.MypartnershouldknowwhatIthink,feel,and

need and I should know what my partner thinks, feels, and needs. But this is

impossible.Mindreadinginsteadofcommunicatinginevitablybackfires.

Elayne Savage, noted family psychologist, describes Tom and Lucy. After

threemonthstogether,TominformedLucythattherewasanimbalanceintheir

relationship.Lucy,readinghis mind,decidedTommeantthathewaslessinto

the relationship than she was. She felt discouraged. Should she break off the

relationship before he did? However, after a therapy session, Lucy got up the

couragetofindoutwhathemeant.Tom,itturnedout,hadbeenusingamusical

term to convey his wish to fine-tune the relationship and move it to the next

level.

I almost fell into the same trap. My husband and I had met a few months

before,andeverythingseemedtobegoinggreat.Thenoneevening,aswewere

sitting together, he said to me, “I need more space.” Everything went blank. I

couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Was I completely mistaken about the

relationship?Finally,Isummonedmycourage.“Whatdoyoumean?”Iasked.

Hesaid,“IneedyoutomoveoversoIcanhavemoreroom.”I’mgladIasked.

AGREEINGONEVERYTHING

It’sstrangetobelieveinmindreading.Butitmakessensewhenyourealizethat

manypeoplewithafixedmindsetbelievethatacoupleshouldshareallofeach

other’sviews.

If you do, then you don’t need communication; you can just assume your

partnerseesthingsthewayyoudo.

Raymond Knee and his colleagues had couples come in and discuss their

views of their relationship. Those with the fixed mindset felt threatened and

hostile after talking about even minor discrepancies in how they and their

partnersawtheirrelationship.Evenaminordiscrepancythreatenedtheirbelief

thattheysharedallofeachother’sviews.

It’s impossible for a couple to share all of each other’s assumptions and

expectations.Onemayassumethewifewillstopworkingandbesupported;the

other,thatshewillbeanequalbreadwinner.Onemayassumetheywillhavea

houseinthesuburbs,theotherthattheywillhaveabohemianlovenest.

MichaelandRobinhadjust finished college and were abouttogetmarried.

Hewasthebohemian-love-nesttype.Heimaginedthataftertheyweremarried,

they’denjoytheyoung,hipGreenwichVillagelifetogether.Sowhenhefound

theideal apartment,hethought she’dbedelighted. Whenshesaw it,shewent

berserk. She’d been living in crummy little apartments all her life, and here it

was all over again. Married people were supposed to live in nice houses with

new cars parked outside. They both felt betrayed, and it didn’t get any better

fromthere.

Couples may erroneously believe they agree on each person’s rights and

duties.Fillintheblank:

“As a husband, I have a right to , and my wife has the duty to

.”

“As a wife, I have a right to , and my husband has the duty to

.”

Fewthingscanmakepartnersmorefuriousthanhavingtheirrightsviolated.

And few things can make a partner more furious than having the other feel

entitledtosomethingyoudon’tthinkiscomingtothem.

John Gottman reports: “I’ve interviewed newlywed men who told me with

pride,‘I’mnotgoingtowashthedishes,noway.That’sawoman’sjob.’Two

years later the same guys ask me, ‘Why don’t my wife and I have sex

anymore?’ ”

Now,acouplemayagreeontraditionalroles.That’sup tothem.Butthat’s

differentfromassumingitasanentitlement.

WhenJanet(afinancialanalyst)andPhil(arealestateagent)met,hehadjust

gotten a new apartment and was thinking he’d like to have a housewarming

party,adinnerforabunchofhisfriends.WhenJanetsaid,“Let’sdoit,”hewas

thrilled. Her emphasis was on the “ ’s,” the us. Because she was the more

experiencedcookandpartygiver,however,shedidmostofthepreparation,and

shediditgladly.Shewasdelightedtoseehowhappyhewastobehavingthis

event.Theproblemstartedaftertheguestsarrived.Philjustwenttotheparty.

Heactedlikeaguest.Likeshewassupposedtocontinuedoingallthework.She

wasenraged.

The mature thing to do would have been to take him aside to have a

discussion. Instead, she decided to teach him a lesson. She, too, went to the

party.Fortunately,entitlementandretaliationdidnotbecomeapatternintheir

relationship. Communication did. In the future, things were discussed, not

assumed.

Ano-effort relationshipis adoomedrelationship,notagreatrelationship.It

takesworktocommunicateaccuratelyandittakesworktoexposeandresolve

conflicting hopes and beliefs. It doesn’t mean there is no “they lived happily

everafter,”butit’smorelike“theyworkedhappilyeverafter.”

2.ProblemsIndicateCharacterFlaws

Thesecondbigdifficultywiththefixedmindsetisthebeliefthatproblemsarea

sign of deep-seated flaws. But just as there are no great achievements without

setbacks,therearenogreatrelationshipswithout conflicts and problems along

theway.

When people with a fixed mindset talk about their conflicts, they assign

blame. Sometimes they blame themselves, but often they blame their partner.

Andtheyassignblametoatrait—acharacterflaw.

Butitdoesn’tendthere.Whenpeopleblametheirpartner’spersonalityforthe

problem,theyfeelangeranddisgusttowardthem.

And it barrels on: Since the problem comes from fixed traits, it can’t be

solved.

Sooncepeoplewiththefixedmindsetseeflawsintheirpartners,theybecome

contemptuousofthemanddissatisfiedwiththewholerelationship.(Peoplewith

thegrowthmindset,ontheotherhand,canseetheirpartners’imperfectionsand

stillthinktheyhaveafinerelationship.)

Sometimespeoplewiththefixedmindsetblindthemselvestoproblemsinthe

partnerortherelationshipsotheywon’thavetogothatroute.

Everybody thought Yvonne was having a flirtation. She was getting

mysteriousphonecalls.Shewasoftenlatepickingupthekids.Her“nightsout

with the girls” doubled. Her mind was often elsewhere. Her husband, Charlie,

saidshewasjustgoingthroughaphase.“Allwomengothroughtimeslikethis,”

heinsisted.“Itdoesn’tmeanshe’sgotaguy.”

Charlie’s best friend urged him to look into it. But Charlie felt that if he

confronted the reality—and it was negative—his world would come crashing

down. In the fixed mindset, he’d have to confront the idea that either (1) the

womanhelovedwasabadperson,(2)hewasabadpersonanddroveheraway,

or(3)theirrelationshipwasbadandirreparable.

He couldn’t handle any of those. It didn’t occur to him that there were

problems that could be solved, that she was sending him a message she

desperately wanted him to hear: Don’t take me for granted. I need more

attention.

A growth mindset doesn’t mean he would necessarily confront her, but he

would confront it—the situation. He’d think about what was wrong. Maybe

exploretheissuewithacounselor.Makeaninformeddecisionaboutwhattodo

next.Iftherewereproblemstobesolved,atleastthere’dbeachance.

EACHONEALOSER

Penelope’s friends sat at home complaining that there were no good men.

Penelopewentoutandfoundthem.Eachtime,shewouldfindagreatguyand

fallheadoverheels.“He’stheone,”she’dtellherfriendsasshebeganreading

the bridal magazines and practically writing the announcement for the local

paper.They’dbelieveherbecausehewasalwaysaguywithalotgoingforhim.

Butthensomethingwouldhappen.Itwasoverforoneofthemwhenhegot

her a tacky birthday present. Another put ketchup on his food and sometimes

wore white shoes. Another had bad electronic habits: His cell phone etiquette

waspoorandhewatchedtoomuchTV.Andthisisonlyapartiallist.

Assumingtraitswerefixed,Penelopewoulddecidethatshecouldn’tlivewith

theseflaws.Butmostofthesewerenotdeeporseriouscharacterproblemsthat

couldn’tbeaddressedwithalittlecommunication.

My husband and I had been together almost a year and, as my birthday

approached, I sent a clear message: “I’m not mercenary, but I like a good

present.” He said, “Isn’t it the thought that counts?” I replied, “That’s what

peoplesaywhentheydon’twanttoputthoughtintoit.

“Onceayear,”Icontinued,“weeachhaveourday.IloveyouandIplanto

puttimeandeffortintochoosingapresentforyou.Iwouldlikeyoutodothat

forme,too.”He’sneverletmedown.

Penelope assumed that somewhere out there was someone who was already

perfect.RelationshipexpertDanielWilesaysthatchoosingapartnerischoosing

a set of problems. There are no problem-free candidates. The trick is to

acknowledgeeachother’slimitations,andbuildfromthere.

THEFLAWSFLY

BrendaandJackwereclientsofDanielWile,andhetellsthistale.Brendacame

homefromworkandtoldJackalong,detailedstorywithnoapparentpoint.Jack

wasboredtotearsbuttriedtohideittobepolite.Brenda,however,couldsense

his true feelings, so, hoping to be more amusing, she launched into another

endlessstory,alsoaboutaprojectatwork.Jackwasreadytoburst.Theywere

both mentally hurling traits right and left. According to Wile, they were both

thinking:Brendaisboring,Jackisselfish,andourrelationshipisnogood.

Infact,bothmeantwell.Brendawasafraidtosayoutrightthatshedidsome

greatworkattheofficethatday.Shedidn’twanttobeboastful.Soinsteadshe

talkedabout thetinydetails ofherproject. Jackdidn’twant tobeimpolite, so

instead of asking Brenda questions or expressing his puzzlement, he steeled

himselfandwaitedforherstorytoend.

Jack just needed to say, “You know, honey, when you get into so many

details,Iloseyourpointandgetfrustrated.Whydon’tyoutellmewhyyou’re

excitedaboutthisproject?I’dreallylovetohearthat.”

Itwasaproblemofcommunication,notaproblemofpersonalityorcharacter.

Yetinthefixedmindset,theblamecamefastandfurious.

By the way, I love these stories. When I was a kid, Ladies’ Home Journal

used to have a feature in each issue called “Can This Marriage Be Saved?”

Usually,theanswerwasyes.Iateupthosestories,fascinatedbyallthewaysa

marriagecouldgowrongandevenmorefascinatedbyhowitcouldberepaired.

ThestoryofTedandKaren,toldbyAaronBeck,isastoryofhowtwopeople

withthefixedmindsetwentfromallgoodtraitstoallbadonesineachother’s

eyes.

When Ted and Karen met, they were opposites attracting. Karen radiated

spontaneityandlightness.Ted,aseriousguywiththeweightoftheworldonhis

shoulders,feltthathercarefreepresencetransformedhislife.“Everythingshe

says and does is charming,” he effused. In turn, Ted represented the rock-like

“fatherfigure”shehadneverhad.Hewasjustthekind of stable, reliable guy

whocouldgiveherasenseofsecurity.

Butafewshortyearslater,TedsawKarenasanirresponsibleairhead.“She

nevertakesanythingseriously…Ican’tdependonher.”AndKarensawTedasa

judgmentaltyrant,dissectinghereverymove.

In the end, this marriage was saved—only because the couple learned to

respondtoeachothernotwithangrylabels,butwithhelpfulactions.Oneday,

whenKarenwasswampedwithwork,Tedcamehometoamessyhouse.Hewas

angryandwantedtoscoldher,but,drawingonwhathe’dlearnedfromBeck,he

insteadsaidtohimself,“Whatisthematurethingtodo?”Heansweredhisown

question by starting to clean things up. He was offering Karen support rather

thanjudgment.

CANTHISMARRIAGEBESAVED?

Aaron Beck tells couples in counseling never to think these fixed-mindset

thoughts: My partner is incapable of change. Nothing can improve our

relationship.Theseideas,hesays,arealmostalwayswrong.

Sometimes it’s hard not to think those thoughts—as in the case of Bill and

Hillary Clinton. When he was president, Clinton lied to the nation and to his

wifeabouthisrelationshipwithMonicaLewinsky.Hillarydefendedhim:“My

husbandmayhavehisfaults,buthehasneverliedtome.”

The truth came out, as it has a way of doing, especially when helped by a

specialprosecutor.Hillary,betrayedandfurious,nowhadtodecidewhetherBill

wasapermanentlybadanduntrustworthyhusbandoramanwhoneededalotof

help.

This is a good time to bring up an important point: The belief that partners

have the potential for change should not be confused with the belief that the

partnerwillchange.Thepartnerhastowanttochange,committochange,and

takeconcreteactionstowardchange.

TheClintonswentintocounseling,spendingonefulldayaweekforayearin

theprocess.Throughcounseling,Bill came to understand how,asthechildof

alcoholic parents, he had learned to lead a dual life. On the one hand, he’d

learnedto shoulderexcessiveresponsibility atanearlyage—forexample, asa

boysternlyforbiddinghisstepfathertostrikehismother.Ontheotherhand,he

had another part of his life where he took little responsibility, where he made

believeeverythingwasokaynomatterwhatwasgoingon.That’showhecould

appear on TV and earnestly vow that he was not involved with Lewinsky. He

wasinthatno-responsibilityandhigh-denialspace.

People were urging Hillary to forgive him. One evening, Stevie Wonder

calledtheWhiteHousetoaskifhecouldcomeover.Hehadwrittenasongfor

heronthepowerofforgiveness,andheplayedittoherthatnight.

YetHillarycouldnothaveforgivenapersonshesawasaliarandacheat.She

couldonlyforgiveamanshethoughtwasearnestlystrugglingwithhisproblems

andtryingtogrow.

THEPARTNERASENEMY

With the fixed mindset, one moment your partner is the light of your life, the

nextthey’reyouradversary.Whywouldpeoplewanttotransformthelovedone

intoanenemy?

When you fail at other tasks, it’s hard to keep blaming someone else. But

whensomethinggoeswronginarelationship,it’seasytoblamesomeoneelse.

Infact,inthefixedmindsetyouhavealimitedsetofchoices.Oneistoblame

yourownpermanentqualities.Andoneistoblameyourpartner’s.Youcansee

howtemptingitistofoisttheblameontotheotherguy.

As a legacy of my fixed mindset, I still have an irresistible urge to defend

myselfandassignblamewhensomethinginarelationshipgoeswrong.“It’snot

myfault!”Todealwiththisbadhabit,myhusbandandIinventedathirdparty,

animaginarymannamedMaurice.WheneverIstartinonwho’stoblame,we

invokepoorMauriceandpinitonhim.

Rememberhowharditisforpeoplewiththefixedmindsettoforgive?Partof

itisthattheyfeelbrandedbyarejectionorbreakup.Butanotherpartisthatif

theyforgivethepartner,iftheyseehimorherasadecentperson,thentheyhave

to shoulder more of the blame themselves: If my partner’s a good guy, then I

mustbeabadguy.Imustbethepersonwhowasatfault.

Thesamethingcanhappenwithparents.Ifyouhaveatroubledrelationship

with a parent, whose fault is it? If your parents didn’t love you enough, were

theybadparentsorwereyouunlovable?Thesearetheuglyquestionsthathaunt

uswithinafixedmindset.Isthereawayout?

Ihadthisverydilemma.Mymotherdidn’tloveme.MostofmylifeI’dcoped

with this by blaming her and feeling bitter. But I was no longer satisfied just

protectingmyself.Ilongedforalovingrelationshipwithmymother.Yetthelast

thing I wanted to be was one of those kids who begged for approval from a

withholding parent. Then I realized something. I controlled half of the

relationship,myhalf.Icouldhavemyhalfoftherelationship.AtleastIcouldbe

theloving daughterIwantedtobe. Inasense, itdidn’tmatterwhatshe did.I

wouldstillbeaheadofwhereIwas.

Howdiditturnout?Iexperiencedatremendoussenseofgrowthlettinggoof

mybitternessandsteppingforwardtohavetherelationship.Therestisnotreally

relevantsinceI wasn’tseekingvalidation, butI’lltellyou anyway.Something

unexpectedhappened.Threeyearslater,mymothersaidtome:“Ifanyonehad

toldmeIdidn’tlovemychildren,Iwouldhavebeeninsulted.ButnowIrealize

itwastrue.Whetheritwasbecausemyparentsdidn’tloveusorbecauseIwas

tooinvolvedinmyselforbecauseIdidn’tknowwhatlovewas,Idon’tknow.

ButnowIknowwhatitis.”

Fromthattimeuntilherdeathtwenty-fiveyearslater,webecamecloserand

closer.Aslivelyaseachofuswas,wecameevenmoretolifeineachother’s

presence.Once,afewyearsago,aftershe’dhadastroke,thedoctorswarnedme

she couldn’t speak and might never speak again. I walked into her room, she

lookedatmeandsaid,“Carol,Iloveyouroutfit.”

Whatallowedmetotakethatfirststep,tochoosegrowthandriskrejection?

In the fixed mindset, I had needed my blame and bitterness. It made me feel

more righteous, powerful, and whole than thinking I was at fault. The growth

mindset allowed me to give up the blame and move on. The growth mindset

gavemeamother.

Irememberwhenwewerekidsanddidsomethingdumb,likedropourice-

creamconeonourfoot,we’dturntoourfriendandsay,“Lookwhatyoumade

medo.”Blamemaymakeyoufeellessfoolish,butyoustillhaveashoefullof

ice cream—and a friend who’s on the defensive. In a relationship, the growth

mindsetletsyourise above blame, understand theproblem,andtrytofix it—

together.

COMPETITION:WHO’STHEGREATEST?

In the fixed mindset, where you’ve got to keep proving your competence, it’s

easy to get into a competition with your partner. Who’s the smarter, more

talented,morelikableone?

Susanhadaboyfriendwhoworriedthatshewouldbethecenterofattention

andhewouldbethetagalong.If she were someone, he would be no one. But

Martinwasfarfromnoone.Hewasverysuccessful,evenrevered,inhisfield.

Hewashandsomeandwellliked,too.SoatfirstSusanpooh-poohedthewhole

thing.Thentheyattendedaconferencetogether.They’darrivedseparatelyand,

incheckingin,Susanhadchattedwiththefriendlyhotelstaffinthelobby.That

eveningwhenthecouplewalkedthroughthelobby,thewholestaffgreetedher

warmly.Martingrunted.Next,theytookataxitodinner.Towardtheendofthe

ride,thedriverstartedsingingherpraises:“Youbetterholdontoher.Yes,sir,

she’sagood one.”Martinwinced.The wholeweekendcontinued inthisvein,

andbythetimetheygothomefromtheconferencetheirrelationshipwasvery

strained.

Martin wasn’t actively competitive. He didn’t try to outdo Susan, he just

lamented her seemingly greater popularity. But some partners throw their hats

rightintothering.

Cynthia,ascientist,was amazingat almosteverything shedid—so muchso

thatsheleftherpartnersinthedust.Thatmighthavebeenallrightifshedidn’t

alwaysventureintotheirterritory.Shemarriedanactor,andthenstartedwriting

playsandactinginthem—superbly.Shesaidshewasjusttryingtosharehislife

andhisinterests,butherpart-timehobbyoutshonehiscareer.Hefelthehadto

escapefromtherelationshiptofindhimselfagain.Next,shemarriedamusician

who was a great cook, and in no time flat she was tickling the ivories and

inventing unbelievable recipes. Once again, the depressed husband eventually

fled. Cynthia left her partners no room for their own identity; she needed to

equalorsurpassthemineveryskilltheyarrivedwith.

There are many good ways to support our partners or show interest in their

lives.Thisisnotoneofthem.

DEVELOPINGINRELATIONSHIPS

Whenpeopleembarkonarelationship,theyencounterapartnerwhoisdifferent

fromthem,andtheyhaven’tlearnedhowtodealwiththedifferences.Inagood

relationship,peopledeveloptheseskillsand,astheydo,bothpartnersgrowand

therelationshipdeepens.Butforthistohappen,peopleneedtofeelthey’reon

thesameside.

Laurawaslucky.Shecouldbeself-centeredanddefensive.Shecouldyelland

pout.ButJamesnevertookitpersonallyandalwaysfeltthatshewastherefor

himwhenheneededher.Sowhenshelashedout,hecalmedherdownandmade

hertalkthingsthroughwithhim.Overtime,shelearnedtoskiptheyellingand

pouting.

As an atmosphere of trust developed, they became vitallyinterestedineach

other’sdevelopment.Jameswas forming a corporation, and Laura spent hours

withhim discussing his plans and some of the problems he was encountering.

Laura had always dreamed of writing children’s books. James got her to spell

outherideasandwriteafirstdraft.Heurgedhertocontactsomeonetheyknew

who was an illustrator. In the context of this relationship, each partner was

helpingtheothertodothethingstheywantedtodoandbecomethepersonthey

wantedtobe.

Notlongago,Iwastalkingto a friend about the view some people hold of

childrearing—that parents make little difference. In explaining that view, she

likened it to a marriage relationship: “It’s like partners in a marriage. Each

comestothe relationshipfullyformed, andyoudon’texpect toinfluencewho

thepartneris.”

“Ohno,”Ireplied.“Tomethewholepointofmarriageistoencourageyour

partner’sdevelopmentandhavethemencourageyours.”

By that I didn’t mean a My Fair Lady kind of thing where you attempt an

extrememakeoveronpartners,who then feel they aren’t goodenoughasthey

are.Imeanhelpingpartners,withintherelationship,toreachtheirowngoalsand

fulfilltheirownpotential.Thisisthegrowthmindsetinaction.

FRIENDSHIP

Friendships, like partnerships, are places where we have a chance to enhance

each other’s development, and to validate each other. Both are important.

Friendscangiveeachotherthewisdomandcouragetomakegrowth-enhancing

decisions,andfriendscanreassureeachotheroftheirfinequalities.Despitethe

dangers of praising traits, there are times when we need reassurance about

ourselves:“TellmeI’mnotabadpersonforbreakingupwithmyboyfriend.”

“TellmeI’mnotstupideventhoughIbombedontheexam.”

Infact,theseoccasionsgiveusachancetoprovidesupportandgiveagrowth

message:“Yougavethatrelationshipeverythingyouhadforthreeyearsandhe

madenoeffort to improvethings.Ithink you’re righttomoveon.” Or “What

happened on that exam? Do you understand the material? Did you study

enough?Doyouthinkyouneedatutor?Let’stalkaboutit.”

But as in all relationships, people’s need to prove themselves can tilt the

balance in the wrong direction. Sheri Levy did a study that was not about

friendship,butmakesanimportantandrelevantpoint.

Levymeasuredadolescentboys’self-esteemandthenaskedthemhowmuch

they believed in negative stereotypes about girls. For example, how much did

they believe that girls were worse in math or that girls were less rational than

boys?Shethenmeasuredtheirself-esteemagain.

Boyswhobelievedinthefixedmindsetshowedaboostinself-esteemwhen

they endorsed the stereotypes. Thinking that girls were dumber and more

scatterbrained made them feel better about themselves. (Boys with the growth

mindsetwerelesslikelytoagreewiththestereotypes,butevenwhentheydid,it

didnotgivethemanegoboost.)

Thismentalitycanintrudeonfriendships.Theloweryouare,thebetterIfeel

istheidea.

OnedayIwastalkingtoadear,wisefriend.Iwaspuzzledaboutwhysheput

upwiththebehaviorofsomeofherfriends.Actually,Iwaspuzzledaboutwhy

she even had these friends. One often acted irresponsibly; another flirted

shamelessly with her husband. Her answer was that everyone has virtues and

foibles,andthat,really,ifyoulookedonlyforperfectpeople,yoursocialcircle

would be impoverished. There was, however, one thing she would not put up

with:peoplewhomadeherfeelbadaboutherself.

Weallknowthesepeople.Theycanbebrilliant,charming,andfun,butafter

beingwiththem,youfeeldiminished.Youmayask:“AmIjustdoinganumber

onmyself?”Butitisoftenthem,tryingtobuildthemselvesupbyestablishing

theirsuperiorityandyourinferiority.Itcouldbebyactivelyputtingyoudown,

oritcouldbebythecarelesswaytheytreatyou.Eitherway,youareavehicle

for(andacasualtyof)confirmingtheirworth.

I was at a friend’s fiftieth-birthday party and her sister gave a speech,

supposedly in her honor. Her sister talked about my friend’s insatiable sexual

appetite and how lucky it was she found a younger man to marry who could

handle it. “All in good fun,” she took care of my friend’s looks, brains, and

motheringskills.Afterthistribute,Isuddenlyrecalledthesaying“Withfriends

likethis,youdon’tneedenemies.”

It’sdifficulttorealizewhenfriendsdon’twishyouwell.OnenightIhadthe

mostvividdream.Someone,someoneIknewwell,cameintomyhouseandone

by one took all my prized possessions. In the dream I could see what was

happening, but I couldn’t see who it was. At one point, I asked the intruder:

“Couldn’tyoupleaseleavethatone,itmeansalottome.”Butthepersonjust

kept taking everything of value. The next morning I realized who it was and

what it meant. For the past year a close friend had been calling upon me

constantly to help him with his work. I obliged. He was under a great deal of

stress,andIwasatfirsthappytousewhateverskillsIhadforhisbenefit.Butit

was endless, it was not reciprocal, and on top of that he punished me for it:

“Don’t think you could ever do work this good. You can help me polish my

work, but you could never be this creative.” He needed to reduce me so he

wouldn’tfeelonedown.Mydreamtoldmeitwastimetodrawtheline.

I’mafraidthatinthefixed mindset, I was also a culprit. I don’tthinkIput

people down, but when you need validation, you use people for it. One time,

whenIwasagraduatestudent,IwastakingthetraintoNewYorkandsatnext

toaverynicebusinessman.Inmyopinion,wechattedbackandforthpleasantly

throughthe hour-and-a-halfjourney,butattheendhe saidtome,“Thankyou

for telling me about yourself.” It really hit me. He was the dream validator—

handsome, intelligent, successful. And that’s what I had used him for. I had

shownnointerestinhimasaperson,onlyinhimasamirrorofmyexcellence.

Luckilyforme,whathemirroredbackwasafarmorevaluablelesson.

Conventionalwisdomsaysthatyouknowwhoyourfriendsareinyourtimes

ofneed.Andofcoursethisviewhasmerit.Whowillstandbyyoudayafterday

whenyou’reintrouble?However,sometimesaneventougherquestionis:Who

canyouturntowhengoodthingshappen?Whenyoufindawonderfulpartner.

Whenyougetagreatjobofferorpromotion.Whenyourchilddoeswell.Who

wouldbegladtohearit?

Yourfailuresandmisfortunesdon’tthreatenotherpeople’sself-esteem.Ego-

wise,it’seasytobesympathetictosomeoneinneed.It’syourassetsandyour

successesthatareproblemsforpeoplewhoderivetheirself-esteemfrombeing

superior.

SHYNESS

Insomeways,shynessistheflipsideofwhatwe’vebeentalkingabout.We’ve

beenexaminingpeoplewhouseotherstobuoythemselvesup.Shypeopleworry

that others will bring them down. They often worry about being judged or

embarrassedinsocialsituations.

People’s shyness can hold them back from making friends and developing

relationships. When they’re with new people, shy people report that they feel

anxious,theirheartsrace,theyblush,theyavoideyecontact,andtheymaytryto

end the interaction as soon as possible. Underneath it all, shy people may be

wonderfulandinteresting,buttheyoftencan’tshowitwithsomeonenew.And

theyknowit.

Whatcanmindsetsteachusaboutshyness?JenniferBeerstudiedhundredsof

peopletofindout.Shemeasuredpeople’smindsets,sheassessedtheirshyness,

andthenshebroughtthemtogethertwoatatimetogetacquainted.Thewhole

thingwasfilmed,and,lateron,trainedraterswatchedthefilmandevaluatedthe

interactions.

Beerfound, first, that people with the fixed mindset were more likely to be

shy.Thismakessense.Thefixedmindsetmakesyouconcernedaboutjudgment,

andthiscanmakeyoumoreself-consciousandanxious.Buttherewereplentyof

shypeoplewithbothmindsets,andwhenshelookedatthemmoreclosely,she

foundsomethingevenmoreinteresting.

Shyness harmed the social interactions of people with the fixed mindset but

did not harm the social relations of people with the growth mindset. The

observers’ ratings showed that, although both fixed-and growth-minded shy

peoplelookedverynervousforthefirstfiveminutesoftheinteraction,afterthat

theshy growth-mindedpeopleshowed greatersocialskills,weremore likable,

and created a more enjoyable interaction. In fact, they began to look just like

non-shypeople.

Thishappenedforgoodreasons.Foronething,theshygrowth-mindedpeople

looked on social situations as challenges. Even though they felt anxious, they

actively welcomed the chance to meet someone new. The shy fixed people,

instead,wanted toavoidmeeting someonewhomightbemore sociallyskilled

thantheywere. They said theyweremoreworried about makingmistakes.So

the fixed-and growth-mindset people confronted the situation with different

attitudes.Oneembracedthechallengeandtheotherfearedtherisk.

Armedwiththesedifferentattitudes,theshygrowth-mindsetpeoplefeltless

shy and nervous as the interaction wore on, but the shy fixed-mindset people

continuedtobenervousandcontinuedtodomoresociallyawkwardthings,like

avoidingeyecontactortryingtoavoidtalking.

You can see how these different patterns would affect making friends. The

shygrowth-mindsetpeopletakecontroloftheirshyness.Theygooutandmeet

new people, and, after their nerves settle down, their relationships proceed

normally.Theshynessdoesn’ttyrannizethem.

Butforfixed-mindsetpeople,theshynesstakescontrol.Itkeepsthemoutof

socialsituationswithnewpeople,andwhenthey’reinthem,theycan’tletdown

theirguardandletgooftheirfears.

ScottWetzler,atherapistandprofessorofpsychiatry,paintsaportraitofhis

clientGeorge,apictureoftheshyfixed-mindsetperson.Georgewasincredibly

shy,especiallywithwomen.Hewassoeagertolookcool,witty,andconfident

—and so worried that he’d look overeager and inept—that he froze and acted

cold.Whenhisattractiveco-workerJeanstartedflirtingwithhim,hebecameso

flustered that he began avoiding her. Then one day she approached him in a

nearby coffee shop and cutely suggested he ask her to join him. When he

couldn’tthinkofacleverresponsetoimpressher,hereplied,“Itdoesn’tmatter

tomeifyousitdownornot.”

George,whatwereyoudoing?Hewastryingtoprotecthimselffromrejection

—bytryingnottoseemtoointerested.Andhewastryingtoendthisawkward

situation. In a strange way, he succeeded. He certainly didn’t seem too

interested,andtheinteractionsoonended,asJeangotoutofthererealfast.He

wasjustlikethepeopleinJenniferBeer’sstudy,controlledbyhisfearofsocial

judgmentandpreventedfrommakingcontact.

WetzlerslowlyhelpedGeorgegetoverhisexclusivefocusonbeingjudged.

Jean,hecametosee,wasnotouttojudgeandhumiliatehim,butwastryingto

get to know him. With the focus switched from being judged to developing a

relationship,Georgewaseventuallyabletoreciprocate.Despitehisanxiety,he

approachedJean,apologizedforhisrudebehavior,andaskedhertolunch.She

accepted.What’smore,shewasnotnearlyascriticalashefeared.

BULLIESANDVICTIMS:REVENGEREVISITED

We’re back to rejection, because it’s not just in love relationships that people

experienceterriblerejections.Ithappenseverydayinschools.Startingingrade

school,somekidsarevictimized.Theyareridiculed,tormented,andbeatenup,

not for anything they’ve done wrong. It could be for their more timid

personality, how they look, what their background is, or how smart they are

(sometimesthey’renotsmartenough;sometimesthey’retoosmart).Itcanbea

dailyoccurrencethatmakeslifeanightmareandushersinyearsofdepression

andrage.

Tomakemattersworse,schoolsoftendonothingaboutit.Thisisbecauseit’s

oftendoneoutofsightofteachersorbecauseit’sdonebytheschool’sfavorite

students, such as the jocks. In this case, it may be the victims, not the bullies,

whoareconsideredtobetheproblemkidsorthemisfits.

Asasociety,we’vepaidlittleattentionuntilrecently.Thencametheschool

shootings. At Columbine, the most notorious one, both boys had been

mercilessly bullied for years. A fellow bullying victim describes what they

enduredintheirhighschool.

In the hallways, the jocks would push kids into lockers and call them

demeaningnameswhileeveryonelaughedattheshow.Atlunchthejockswould

knocktheirvictims’foodtraysontothefloor,tripthem,orpeltthemwithfood.

Whilethevictimswereeating,theywouldbepusheddownontothetablefrom

behind.Thenin thelockerrooms before gymclass,the bullieswouldbeatthe

kidsupbecausetheteachersweren’taround.

WhoAretheBullies?

Bullying is about judging. It’s about establishing who is more worthy or

important. The more powerful kids judge the less powerful kids. They judge

themtobelessvaluablehumanbeings,andtheyrubtheirfacesinitonadaily

basis.Andit’sclearwhatthebulliesgetoutofit.LiketheboysinSheriLevy’s

study,theygetaboostinself-esteem.It’snotthatbulliesarelowinself-esteem,

butjudginganddemeaningotherscangivethemaself-esteemrush.Bulliesalso

gainsocialstatusfromtheiractions.Othersmaylookuptothemandjudgethem

to be cool, powerful, or funny. Or may fear them. Either way, they’ve upped

theirstanding.

There’sabigdoseoffixed-mindsetthinkinginthebullies:Somepeopleare

superiorandsomeareinferior.Andthebulliesarethejudges.EricHarris,oneof

theColumbineshooters, wastheirperfect target.Hehada chestdeformity,he

wasshort,hewasacomputergeek,andhewasanoutsider,notfromColorado.

Theyjudgedhimmercilessly.

VictimsandRevenge

The fixed mindset may also play a role in how the victim reacts to bullying.

Whenpeoplefeeldeeplyjudgedbyarejection,theirimpulseistofeelbadabout

themselves and to lash out in bitterness. They have been cruelly reduced and

they wish to reduce in return. In our studies, we have seen perfectly normal

people—children and adults—respond to rejection with violent fantasies of

revenge.

Highly educated, well-functioning adults, after telling us about a serious

rejectionorbetrayal,sayandmean“Iwantedhimdead”or“Icouldeasilyhave

strangledher.”

Whenwehearaboutactsofschoolviolence,weusuallythink it’s only bad

kidsfrombadhomeswhocouldevertakemattersintotheirownhands.Butit’s

startling how quickly average, everyday kids with a fixed mindset think about

violentrevenge.

Wegaveeighth-gradestudentsinoneofourfavoriteschoolsascenarioabout

bullyingtoread.Weaskedthemtoimagineitwashappeningtothem.

It is a new school year and things seem to be going pretty well.

Suddenly some popular kids start teasing you and calling you

names. At first you brush it off—these things happen. But it

continues. Every day they follow you, they taunt you, they make

funofwhatyou’rewearing,theymakefunofwhatyoulooklike,

theytellyouyou’realoser—infrontofeverybody.Everyday.

We then asked them to write about what they would think and what they

woulddoorwanttodo.

First,thestudentswiththe fixed mindset took the incidentmorepersonally.

They said, “I would think I was a nobody and that nobody likes me.” Or “I

wouldthinkIwasstupidandweirdandamisfit.”

Then they wanted violent revenge, saying that they’d explode with rage at

them, punch their faces in, or run them over. They strongly agreed with the

statement:“Mynumberonegoalwouldbetogetrevenge.”

Theyhadbeenjudgedandtheywantedtojudgeback.That’swhatEricHarris

andDylanKlebold,theColumbineshooters,did.Theyjudgedback.Forafew

long,terriblehours,theydecidedwhowouldliveandwhowoulddie.

Inourstudy,thestudentswiththegrowthmindsetwerenotaspronetoseethe

bullyingasareflectionofwhotheywere.Instead,theysawitasapsychological

problemofthebullies,awayforthebulliestogainstatusorchargetheirself-

esteem: “I’d think that the reason he is bothering me is probably that he has

problemsathomeoratschoolwithhisgrades.”Or“Theyneedtogetalife—not

justfeelgoodiftheymakemefeelbad.”

Theirplanwasoftendesignedtoeducatethebullies:“Iwouldreallyactually

talktothem.Iwouldaskthemquestions(whyaretheysayingallofthesethings

andwhyaretheydoingallofthistome).”Or“Confrontthepersonanddiscuss

theissue;Iwouldfeelliketryingtohelpthemseetheyarenotfunny.”

Thestudentswiththegrowthmindsetalsostronglyagreedthat:“Iwouldwant

to forgive them eventually” and “My number one goal would be to help them

becomebetterpeople.”

Whether they’d succeed in personally reforming or educating determined

bullies is doubtful. However, these are certainly more constructive first steps

thanrunningthemover.

Brooks Brown, a classmate of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, was bullied

fromthirdgradeon.Hesufferedtremendously,yethedidn’tlookforrevenge.

Herejectedthefixedmindsetandtherightofpeopletojudgeothers,asin“Iam

a football player, and therefore I’m better than you.” Or “I am a basketball

player…patheticgeekslikeyouarenotonmylevel.”

More than that, he actively embraced a growth mindset. In his own words,

“People do have the potential to change.” Even maybe Eric Harris, the more

depressed,hostileleaderoftheshootings.Brownhadhadaveryseriousrun-in

with Eric Harris several years before, but in their senior year of high school,

Brownofferedatruce.“ItoldhimthatIhadchangedalotsincethatyear…and

thatIhopedhefeltthesamewayabouthimself.”Brookswentontosaythatif

hefoundthatErichadn’tchanged,hecouldalwayspullback.“However,ifhe

hadgrownup,thenwhynotgivehimthechancetoproveit.”

Brookshasn’tgivenup.Hestillwantstochangepeople.Hewantstowakeup

the world to the problem of bullying, and he wants to reach victims and turn

them off their violent fantasies. So he’s worked for the filmmaker Michael

MooreonBowlingforColumbineandhe’ssetupaninnovativewebsitewhere

bulliedkidscancommunicatewitheachotherandlearnthattheanswerisn’tto

kill.“It’stouseyourmindandmakethingsbetter.”

Brooks, like me, does not see the shooters as people who are a world apart

fromeveryoneelse.HisfriendDylanKlebold,hesays,wasoncearegularkid

fromafinehomewithloving,involvedparents.Infact,hewarns,“Wecanjust

sitbackandcalltheshooters‘sickmonsters,completelydifferentfromus.’…Or

we can accept that there are more Erics and Dylans out there, who are slowly

beingdriven…downthesamepath.”

Even if a victim doesn’t have a fixed mindset to begin with, prolonged

bullyingcaninstillit.Especiallyifothersstandbyanddonothing,orevenjoin

in. Victims say that when they’re taunted and demeaned and no one comes to

theirdefense,theystarttobelievetheydeserveit.Theystarttojudgethemselves

andtothinkthattheyareinferior.

Bulliesjudge.Victimstakeitin.Sometimesitremainsinsideandcanleadto

depressionandsuicide.Sometimesitexplodesintoviolence.

WhatCanBeDone?

Individual children can’t usually stop the bullies, especially when the bullies

attract a group of supporters. But the school can—by changing the school

mindset.

School cultures often promote, or at least accept, the fixed mindset. They

acceptthat somekidsfeelsuperiorto othersandfeelentitledtopickon them.

Theyalsoconsidersomekidstobemisfitswhomtheycandolittletohelp.

But some schools have created a dramatic reduction in bullying by fighting

the atmosphere of judgment and creating one of collaboration and self-

improvement. Stan Davis, a therapist, school counselor, and consultant, has

developed an anti-bullying program that works. Building on the work of Dan

Olweus,aresearcherinNorway,Davis’sprogramhelpsbullieschange,supports

victims,andempowersbystanderstocometoavictim’said.Withinafewyears,

physicalbullyinginhisschoolwasdown93percentandteasingwasdown53

percent.

Darla, a third grader, was overweight, awkward, and a “crybaby.” She was

suchaprimetargetthathalfoftheclassbulliedher,hittingherandcallingher

namesonadailybasis—andwinningoneanother’sapprovalforit.Severalyears

later,becauseofDavis’sprogram,thebullyinghadstopped.Darlahadlearned

bettersocialskillsandevenhadfriends.ThenDarlawenttomiddleschooland,

after a year, came back to report what had happened. Her classmates from

elementary school had seen her through. They’d helped her make friends and

protectedherfromhernewpeerswhentheywantedtoharassher.

Davisalsogetsthebullieschanging.Infact,someofthekidswhorushedto

Darla’ssupportinmiddleschoolwerethesameoneswhohadbulliedherearlier.

WhatDavisdoesisthis.First,whileenforcingconsistentdiscipline,hedoesn’t

judgethebullyasaperson.Nocriticismisdirectedattraits.Instead,hemakes

themfeellikedandwelcomeatschooleveryday.

Thenhepraiseseverystepintherightdirection.Butagain,hedoesnotpraise

theperson; hepraises theireffort. “Inoticethatyouhavebeenstayingoutof

fights.Thattellsmeyouareworkingongettingalongwithpeople.”Youcansee

thatDavisisleadingstudentsdirectlytothegrowthmindset.Heishelpingthem

see their actions as part of an effort to improve. Even if the change was not

intentionalonthepartofthebullies,theymaynowtrytomakeitso.

StanDavishasincorporatedourworkonpraise,criticism,andmindsetsinto

hisprogram,andithasworked.ThisisaletterIgotfromhim.

DearDr.Dweck:

YourresearchhasradicallychangedthewayIworkwith

students.Iamalreadyseeingpositiveresultsfrommyowndifferent

useoflanguagetogivefeedbacktoyoungpeople.Nextyearour

wholeschoolisembarkingonaninitiativetobuildstudent

motivationbasedon[growth]feedback.

Yours,

StanDavis

HaimGinott,therenownedchildpsychologist,alsoshowshowteacherscan

point bullies away from judgment and toward improvement and compassion.

Hereisaletterfromateachertoaneight-year-oldbullyinherclass.Noticethat

shedoesn’timplyhe’sabadperson,andsheshowsrespectbyreferringtohis

leadership,byusingbigwords,andbyaskingforhisadvice.

DearJay,

Andy’smotherhastoldmethathersonhasbeenmadevery

unhappythisyear.Name-callingandostracismhavelefthimsad

andlonely.Ifeelconcernedaboutthesituation.Yourexperienceas

aleaderinyourclassmakesyoualikelypersonformetoturnto

foradvice.Ivalueyourabilitytosympathizewiththosewhosuffer.

PleasewritemeyoursuggestionsabouthowwecanhelpAndy.

Sincerely,

Yourteacher.

Ina NewYork Timesarticleonbullying,EricHarrisandDylanKleboldare

referredtoas“twomisfitteenagers.”It’strue.Theydidn’tfitin.Butyounever

hearthebulliesreferredtoasmisfits.Becausetheyweren’t.Theyfitrightin.In

fact,theydefinedandruledtheschoolculture.

The notion that some people are entitled to brutalize others is not a healthy

one.StanDavispointsoutthatasasociety,werejectedtheideathatpeoplewere

entitledtobrutalizeblacksandharasswomen.Whydoweaccepttheideathat

peopleareentitledtobrutalizeourchildren?

Bydoing so,we alsoinsult thebullies. Wetell themwe don’tthink they’re

capableofmore,andwemissthechancetohelpthembecomemore.

GrowYourMindset

• Afterarejection,doyoufeeljudged,bitter,andvengeful?Or

doyoufeelhurt,buthopefulofforgiving,learning,and

movingon?Thinkoftheworstrejectionyoueverhad.Getin

touchwithallthefeelings,andseeifyoucanviewitfroma

growthmindset.Whatdidyoulearnfromit?Diditteachyou

somethingaboutwhatyouwantanddon’twantinyourlife?

Diditteachyousomepositivethingsthatwereusefulinlater

relationships?Canyouforgivethatpersonandwishthem

well?Canyouletgoofthebitterness?

• Pictureyouridealloverelationship.Doesitinvolveperfect

compatibility—nodisagreements,nocompromises,nohard

work?Pleasethinkagain.Ineveryrelationship,issuesarise.

Trytoseethemfromagrowthmindset:Problemscanbea

vehiclefordevelopinggreaterunderstandingandintimacy.

Allowyourpartnertoairhisorherdifferences,listen

carefully,anddiscusstheminapatientandcaringmanner.

Youmaybesurprisedattheclosenessthiscreates.

• Areyouablamerlikeme?It’snotgoodforarelationshipto

pineverythingonyourpartner.CreateyourownMauriceand

blamehiminstead.Betteryet,worktowardcuringyourselfof

theneedtoblame.Movebeyondthinkingaboutfaultand

blameallthetime.Thinkofmetryingtodothattoo.

• Areyoushy?Thenyoureallyneedthegrowthmindset.Even

ifitdoesn’tcureyourshyness,itwillhelpkeepitfrom

messingupyoursocialinteractions.Nexttimeyou’re

venturingintoasocialsituation,thinkaboutthesethings:how

socialskillsarethingsyoucanimproveandhowsocial

interactionsareforlearningandenjoyment,notjudgment.

Keeppracticingthis.

Chapter7

PARENTS,TEACHERS,ANDCOACHES:WHEREDO

MINDSETSCOMEFROM?

No parent thinks, “I wonder what I can do today to undermine my children,

subvert their effort, turn them off learning, and limit their achievement.” Of

course not. They think, “I would do anything, give anything, to make my

childrensuccessful.”Yetmanyofthethingstheydoboomerang.Theirhelpful

judgments, their lessons, their motivating techniques often send the wrong

message.

In fact, every word and action can send a message. It tells children—or

students,orathletes—howtothinkaboutthemselves.Itcanbeafixed-mindset

messagethatsays:YouhavepermanenttraitsandI’mjudgingthem.Oritcanbe

a growth-mindset message that says: You are a developing person and I am

committedtoyourdevelopment.

It’s remarkable how sensitive children are to these messages, and how

concernedtheyareaboutthem.HaimGinott,thechild-rearingsageofthe1950s

through’70s,tellsthisstory.Bruce,agefive,wentwithhismothertohisnew

kindergarten.Whenthey arrived, Brucelookedupatthe paintings onthewall

and said, “Who made those ugly pictures?” His mother rushed to correct him:

“It’snotnicetocallpicturesuglywhentheyaresopretty.”Buthisteacherknew

exactly what he meant. “In here,” she said, “you don’t have to paint pretty

pictures.Youcanpaintmeanpicturesifyoufeellikeit.”Brucegaveherabig

smile.Shehadansweredhisrealquestion:Whathappenstoaboywhodoesn’t

paintwell?

Next,Brucespottedabrokenfireengine.Hepickeditupandaskedinaself-

righteous tone, “Who broke this fire engine?” Again his mother rushed in:

“What difference does it make to you who broke it? You don’t know anyone

here.” But the teacher understood. “Toys are for playing,” she told him.

“Sometimes they get broken. It happens.” Again, his question was answered:

Whathappenstoboyswhobreaktoys?

Brucewavedtohismotherandwentofftostarthisfirstdayofkindergarten.

Thiswasnotaplacewherehewouldbejudgedandlabeled.

Youknow,weneveroutgrowoursensitivitytothesemessages.Severalyears

ago, my husband and I spent two weeks in Provence, in the south of France.

Everyone was wonderful to us—very kind and very generous. But on the last

day, we drove to Italy for lunch. When we got there and found a little family

restaurant, tears started streaming down my face. I felt so nurtured. I said to

David, “You know, in France, when they’re nice to you, you feel like you’ve

passedatest.ButinItaly,thereisnotest.”

Parents and teachers who send fixed-mindset messages are like France, and

parentsandteacherswhosendgrowth-mindsetmessagesarelikeItaly.

Let’sstartwiththemessagesparentssendtotheirchildren—but,youknow,

they are also messages that teachers can send to their students or coaches can

sendtotheirathletes.

PARENTS(ANDTEACHERS):MESSAGESABOUTSUCCESSAND

FAILURE

MessagesAboutSuccess

Listenforthemessagesinthefollowingexamples:

“Youlearnedthatsoquickly!You’resosmart!”

“Lookatthatdrawing.Martha,ishethenextPicassoorwhat?”

“You’resobrilliant,yougotanAwithoutevenstudying!”

If you’re like most parents, you hear these as supportive, esteem-boosting

messages.Butlistenmoreclosely.Seeifyoucanhearanothermessage.It’sthe

onethatchildrenhear:

IfIdon’tlearnsomethingquickly,I’mnotsmart.

Ishouldn’ttrydrawinganythinghardorthey’llseeI’mnoPicasso.

I’dbetterquitstudyingortheywon’tthinkI’mbrilliant.

HowdoIknowthis?Rememberchapter3,howIwasthinkingaboutallthe

praiseparentswerelavishingontheirkidsinthehopeofencouragingconfidence

and achievement? You’re so smart. You’re so talented. You’re such a natural

athlete.AndIthought,waitaminute.Isn’titthekidswiththefixedmindset—

the vulnerable kids—who are obsessed with this? Wouldn’t harping on

intelligenceortalentmakekids—allkids—evenmoreobsessedwithit?

That’swhywesetouttostudythis.Aftersevenexperimentswithhundredsof

children,wehadsomeoftheclearestfindingsI’veeverseen:Praisingchildren’s

intelligenceharmstheirmotivationanditharmstheirperformance.

Howcanthatbe?Don’tchildrenlovetobepraised?

Yes, children love praise. And they especially love to be praised for their

intelligenceandtalent.Itreallydoesgivethemaboost,aspecialglow—butonly

for the moment. The minute they hit a snag, their confidence goes out the

windowandtheirmotivationhitsrockbottom.Ifsuccessmeansthey’resmart,

thenfailuremeansthey’redumb.That’sthefixedmindset.

Here is the voice of a mother who saw the effects of well-meant praise for

intelligence:

Iwanttosharemyreal-lifeexperiencewithyou.Iamthemotherof

a very intelligent fifth grader. He consistently scores in the 99

percentile on standardized school tests in math, language and

science,buthehashadsomeveryreal“self-worth”problems.My

husband, who is also an intelligent person, felt his parents never

valued intellect and he has overcompensated with our son in

attemptingtopraisehimfor“beingsmart.”Overthepastyears,I

havesuspectedthiswascausingaproblem,becausemyson,while

he easily excels in school, is reluctant to take on more difficult

workorprojects(justasyourstudiesshow)becausethenhewould

think he’s not smart. He projects an over-inflated view of his

abilities and claims he can perform better than others (both

intellectually and in physical activities), but will not attempt such

activities,becauseofcourse,inhisfailurehewouldbeshattered.

And here is the voice of one of my Columbia students reflecting on his

history:

Irememberoftenbeingpraisedformyintelligenceratherthanmy

efforts, and slowly but surely I developed an aversion to difficult

challenges.Mostsurprisingly, this extendedbeyondacademicand

even athletic challenges to emotional challenges. This was my

greatestlearningdisability—thistendencytoseeperformanceasa

reflection of character and, if I could not accomplish something

rightaway,toavoidthattaskortreatitwithcontempt.

Iknow,itfeelsalmost impossibletoresist thiskindof praise.Wewant our

loved ones to know that we prize them and appreciate their successes. Even I

havefallenintothetrap.

One day I came home and my husband, David, had solved a very difficult

problemwehadbeenpuzzlingoverforawhile.Before I could stop myself, I

blurted out: “You’re brilliant!” Needless to say, I was appalled at what I had

done,andasthelookofhorrorspreadovermyface,herushedtoreassureme.“I

know you meant it in the most ‘growth-minded’ way. That I searched for

strategies,keptatit,triedallkindsofsolutions,andfinallymasteredit.”

“Yes,”Isaid,smilingsweetly,“that’sexactlywhatImeant.”

Parentsthinkthey canhandchildren permanentconfidence—likea gift—by

praising their brains and talent. It doesn’t work, and in fact has the opposite

effect. It makes children doubt themselves as soon as anything is hard or

anythinggoeswrong.Ifparentswanttogivetheirchildrenagift,thebestthing

they can do is to teach their children to love challenges, be intrigued by

mistakes,enjoyeffort,seeknewstrategies,andkeeponlearning.Thatway,their

childrendon’thavetobeslavesofpraise.Theywillhavealifelongwaytobuild

andrepairtheirownconfidence.

SENDINGMESSAGESABOUTPROCESSANDGROWTH

Sowhat’sthealternativetopraisingtalentorintelligence?David’sreassurance

givesusahint.Oneofmystudentstellsusmore:

I went home this weekend to find my 12-year-old sister ecstatic

aboutschool.Iaskedwhatshewassoexcitedaboutandshesaid,“I

got 102 on my social studies test!” I heard her repeat this phrase

aboutfivemoretimesthatweekend.AtthatpointIdecidedtoapply

what we learned in class to this real-life situation. Rather than

praisingherintelligenceorhergrade,Iaskedquestionsthatmade

herreflectontheeffortsheputintostudyingandon howshe has

improvedfromtheyearbefore.Lastyear,hergradesdroppedlower

andlowerastheyearprogressedsoIthoughtitwasimportantfor

metointerveneandsteerherintherightdirectionatthebeginning

ofthisyear.

Does this mean we can’t praise our children enthusiastically when they do

something great? Should we try to restrain our admiration for their successes?

Notatall.Itjustmeansthatweshouldkeepawayfromacertainkindofpraise—

praise that judges their intelligence or talent. Or praise that implies that we’re

proudofthemfortheirintelligenceortalentratherthanfortheworktheyputin.

Wecanappreciatethemasmuchaswewantforthegrowth-orientedprocess

—what they accomplished through practice, study, persistence, and good

strategies.Andwecanaskthemabouttheirworkinawaythatrecognizesand

showsinterestintheireffortsandchoices.

“You really studied for your test and your improvement shows it. You read

thematerialoverseveraltimes,yououtlinedit,andyoutestedyourselfonit.It

reallyworked!”

“Ilikethewayyoutriedallkindsofstrategiesonthatmathproblemuntilyou

finallygotit.Youthoughtofalotofdifferentwaystodoitandfoundtheone

thatworked!”

“Ilikethatyoutookonthatchallengingprojectforyourscienceclass.Itwill

take a lot of work—doing the research, designing the apparatus, buying the

parts,andbuildingit.Boy,you’regoingtolearnalotofgreatthings.”

“Iknowschoolusedtobeeasyforyouandyouusedtofeellikethesmartkid

allthetime.Butthetruthisthatyouweren’tusingyourbraintothefullest.I’m

really excited about how you’re stretching yourself now and working to learn

hardthings.”

“That homework was so long and involved. I really admire the way you

concentratedandfinishedit.”

“Thatpicturehassomanybeautifulcolors.Tellmeaboutthem.”

“You put so much thought into this essay. It really makes me understand

Shakespeareinanewway.”

“Thepassionyouputintothatpianopiecegivesmearealfeelingofjoy.How

doyoufeelwhenyouplayit?”

Whataboutastudentwhoworkedhardanddidn’tdowell?

“Ilikedtheeffortyouputin,butlet’sworktogethersomemoreandfigureout

whatitisyoudon’tunderstand.”

“Weallhavedifferentlearningcurves.Itmaytakemoretimeforyoutocatch

ontothisandbecomfortablewiththismaterial,butifyoukeepatitlikethisyou

will.”

“Everyone learns in a different way. Let’s keep trying to find the way that

worksforyou.”

(This may be especially important for children with learning disabilities.

Oftenforthemitisnotsheereffortthatworksbutfindingtherightstrategy.)

I was excited to learn recently that Haim Ginott, through his lifelong work

with children, came to the same conclusion. “Praise should deal, not with the

child’spersonalityattributes,butwithhiseffortsandachievements.”

Sometimespeoplearecarefultousegrowth-orientedpraisewiththeirchildren

butthenruinitbythewaytheytalkaboutothers.Ihaveheardparentssayin

front of their children, “He’s just a born loser,” “She’s a natural genius,” or

“She’sa pea-brain.”Whenchildren heartheirparents levelfixedjudgmentsat

others,itcommunicatesafixedmindset.Andtheyhavetowonder,AmInext?

Thiscaveatappliestoteachers,too!Inonestudy,wetaughtstudentsamath

lesson spiced up with some math history, namely, stories about great

mathematicians.Forhalfofthestudents,wetalkedaboutthemathematiciansas

geniuseswhoeasilycameupwiththeirmathdiscoveries.Thisalonepropelled

studentsintoafixedmindset.Itsentthemessage:Therearesomepeoplewho

arebornsmartinmathandeverythingiseasyforthem.Thentherearetherest

ofyou.Fortheotherhalfofthestudents,wetalkedaboutthemathematiciansas

people who became passionate about math and ended up making great

discoveries. This brought students into a growth mindset. The message was:

Skillsandachievementcomethroughcommitmentandeffort.It’samazinghow

kidssniffoutthesemessagesfromourinnocentremarks.

Onemorethingaboutpraise.Whenwesaytochildren,“Wow,youdidthatso

quickly!” or “Look, you didn’t make any mistakes!” what message are we

sending?Wearetellingthemthatwhatweprizearespeedandperfection.Speed

andperfectionaretheenemyofdifficultlearning:“IfyouthinkI’msmartwhen

I’m fast and perfect, I’d better not take on anything challenging.” So what

should we say when children complete a task—say, math problems—quickly

and perfectly? Should we deny them the praise they have earned? Yes. When

thishappens,Isay,“Whoops.Iguessthatwastooeasy.Iapologizeforwasting

yourtime.Let’sdosomethingyoucanreallylearnfrom!”

REASSURINGCHILDREN

Howdoyoumake a childfeelsecurebefore a test orperformance?Thesame

principleapplies.Reassuringchildrenabouttheirintelligenceortalentbackfires.

They’llonlybemoreafraidtoshowadeficiency.

Kristinawasareallybrighthighschoolstudentwho,muchtohershame,did

terribly on tests. She always studied, she always knew the material, but every

time it came to the test, she got so wound up that her mind went blank. Her

gradessuffered.Shedisappointedherteachers.Sheletherparentsdown.Andit

wasonlygoingtogetworseasshefacedtheCollegeBoardteststhattheschools

shelongedtoattendprizedsohighly.

Thenightbeforeeachtest,herparents,seeinghowdistraughtshewas,triedto

build her confidence. “Look, you know how smart you are and we know how

smartyouare.You’vegotthisnailed.Now,stopworrying.”

Theywereas supportive as they knew how to be, but they were raising the

stakesevenhigher.Whatcouldtheyhavesaidinstead?

“It must be a terrible thing to feel that everyone is evaluating you and you

can’t show what you know. We want you to know that we are not evaluating

you.Wecareaboutyourlearning,andweknowthatyou’velearnedyourstuff.

We’reproudthatyou’vestucktoitandkeptlearning.”

MessagesAboutFailure

Praisingsuccessshouldbetheleastofourproblems,right?Failureseemslikea

much more delicate matter. Children may already feel discouraged and

vulnerable. Let’s tune in again, this time to the messages parents can send in

timesoffailure.

Nine-year-oldElizabethwasonherwaytoherfirstgymnasticsmeet.Lanky,

flexible, and energetic, she was just right for gymnastics, and she loved it. Of

course, she was a little nervous about competing, but she was good at

gymnastics and felt confident of doing well. She had even thought about the

perfectplaceinherroomtohangtheribbonshewouldwin.

Inthefirstevent,thefloorexercises,Elizabethwentfirst.Althoughshedida

nicejob,thescoringchangedafterthefirstfewgirlsandshelost.Elizabethalso

did well in the other events, but not well enough to win. By the end of the

evening,shehadreceivednoribbonsandwasdevastated.

WhatwouldyoudoifyouwereElizabeth’sparents?

1. TellElizabethyouthoughtshewasthebest.

2. Tellhershewasrobbedofaribbonthatwasrightfullyhers.

3. Reassureherthatgymnasticsisnotthatimportant.

4. Tellhershehastheabilityandwillsurelywinnexttime.

5. Tellhershedidn’tdeservetowin.

Thereisastrongmessage inoursocietyabouthowtoboostchildren’sself-

esteem,andamainpartofthatmessageis:Protectthemfromfailure!Whilethis

may help with the immediate problem of a child’s disappointment, it can be

harmfulinthelongrun.Why?

Let’s look at the five possible reactions from a mindset point of view—and

listentothemessages:

Thefirst(youthoughtshewasthebest)isbasicallyinsincere.Shewasnotthe

best—you know it, and she does, too. This offers her no recipe for how to

recoverorhowtoimprove.

The second (she was robbed) places blame on others, when in fact the

problemwasmostlywithherperformance,notthejudges.Doyouwantherto

growupblamingothersforherdeficiencies?

The third (reassure her that gymnastics doesn’t really matter) teaches her to

devalue something if she doesn’t do well in it right away. Is this really the

messageyouwanttosend?

The fourth (she has the ability) may be the most dangerous message of all.

Doesabilityautomatically take youwhereyouwant to go? IfElizabethdidn’t

winthismeet,whyshouldshewinthenextone?

Thelast option(tellher shedidn’tdeserve towin)seems hardheartedunder

thecircumstances.Andofcourseyouwouldn’tsayitquitethatway.Butthat’s

prettymuchwhathergrowth-mindedfathertoldher.

Here’s what he actually said: “Elizabeth, I know how you feel. It’s so

disappointingtohaveyourhopesupandtoperformyourbestbutnottowin.But

youknow,youhaven’treallyearnedityet.Thereweremanygirlstherewho’ve

beeningymnasticslongerthanyouandwho’veworkedalotharderthanyou.If

thisissomethingyoureallywant,thenit’ssomethingyou’llreallyhavetowork

for.”

HealsoletElizabethknowthatifshewantedtodogymnasticspurelyforfun,

that was just fine. But if she wanted to excel in the competitions, more was

required.

Elizabeth took this to heart, spending much more time repeating and

perfectingherroutines,especiallytheonesshewasweakestin.Atthenextmeet,

therewereeightygirlsfromallovertheregion.Elizabethwonfiveribbonsfor

theindividualeventsandwastheoverallchampionofthecompetition,hauling

home a giant trophy. By now, her room is so covered with awards, you can

hardlyseethewalls.

Inessence, herfathernotonlytold herthetruth,butalso taughtherhowto

learn from her failures and do what it takes to succeed in the future. He

sympathized deeply with her disappointment, but he did not give her a phony

boostthatwouldonlyleadtofurtherdisappointment.

I’ve met with many coaches and they ask me: “What happened to the

coachableathletes?Wheredidtheygo?”Manyofthecoacheslamentthatwhen

they give their athletes corrective feedback, the athletes grumble that their

confidence is being undermined. Sometimes the athletes phone home and

complaintotheirparents.Theyseemtowantcoacheswhowillsimplytellthem

howtalentedtheyareandleaveitatthat.

The coaches say that in the old days after a little league game or a kiddie

soccergame,parentsusedtoreviewandanalyzethegameonthewayhomeand

givehelpful(process)tips.Nowontheridehome,theysay,parentsheapblame

onthecoachesandrefereesforthechild’spoorperformanceortheteam’sloss.

They don’t want to harm the child’s confidence by putting the blame on the

child.

But as in the example of Elizabeth above, children need honest and

constructivefeedback.Ifchildrenare“protected”fromit,theywon’tlearnwell.

They will experience advice, coaching, and feedback as negative and

undermining. Withholding constructive criticism does not help children’s

confidence;itharmstheirfuture.

CONSTRUCTIVECRITICISM:MOREABOUTFAILUREMESSAGES

Wealwayshearthetermconstructivecriticism.Butdoesn’teveryonethinkthe

criticismtheygivetheirchildrenisconstructive?Whywouldtheygiveitifthey

didn’t think it was helpful? Yet a lot if it is not helpful at all. It’s full of

judgmentaboutthechild.Constructivemeanshelpingthechildtofixsomething,

buildabetterproduct,ordoabetterjob.

Billyrushedthroughhishomework,skippingseveralquestionsandanswering

the others in a short, sloppy way. His father hit the roof. “This is your

homework? Can’t you ever get it right? You are either dense or irresponsible.

Which is it?” The feedback managed to question his son’s intelligence and

characteratthesametimeandtoimplythatthedefectswerepermanent.

Howcouldthedadhaveexpressedhisfrustrationanddisappointmentwithout

assassinatinghisson’sattributes?Herearesomeways.

“Son,itreallymakesmeupsetwhenyoudon’tdoafulljob.Whendo you

thinkyoucancompletethis?”

“Son,istheresomethingyoudidn’tunderstandintheassignment?Wouldyou

likemetogooveritwithyou?”

“Son,IfeelsadwhenIseeyoumissingachancetolearn.Canyouthinkofa

waytodothisthatwouldhelpyoulearnmore?”

“Son,thislookslikeareallyboringassignment.Youhavemysympathy.Can

youthinkofawaytomakeitmoreinteresting?”or“Let’strytothinkofaway

tolessenthepainandstilldoagoodjob.Doyouhaveanyideas?”

“Son,rememberI toldyouhow tedious thingshelpus learntoconcentrate?

Thisoneis arealchallenge.This willreallytake all yourconcentrationskills.

Let’sseeifyoucanconcentratethroughthiswholeassignment!”

Sometimeschildrenwilljudgeandlabelthemselves.GinotttellsofPhilip,age

fourteen,whowasworkingonaprojectwithhisfatherandaccidentallyspilled

nailsalloverthefloor.Heguiltilylookedathisdadandsaid:

PHILIP:Gee,I’msoclumsy.

FATHER:That’snotwhatwesaywhennailsspill.

PHILIP:Whatdoyousay?

FATHER:Yousay,thenailsspilled—I’llpickthemup!

PHILIP:Justlikethat?

FATHER:Justlikethat.

PHILIP:Thanks,Dad.

ChildrenLearntheMessages

Kidswiththefixedmindsettellustheygetconstantmessagesofjudgmentfrom

theirparents.Theysaytheyfeelasthoughtheirtraitsarebeingmeasuredallthe

time.

We asked them: “Suppose your parents offer to help you with your

schoolwork.Whywouldtheydothis?”

Theysaid:“TherealreasonisthattheywantedtoseehowsmartIwasatthe

schoolworkIwasworkingon.”

Weasked:“Supposeyourparentsarehappythatyougotagoodgrade.Why

wouldthatbe?”

Theysaid:“TheywerehappytoseeIwasasmartkid.”

Weasked:“Supposeyourparentsdiscussedyourperformancewithyouwhen

youdidpoorlyonsomethinginschool.Whywouldtheydothis?”

Theysaid:“TheymighthavebeenworriedIwasn’toneofthebrightkids,”

and“TheythinkbadgradesmightmeanI’mnotsmart.”

Soeverytimesomethinghappens,thesechildrenhearamessageofjudgment.

Maybeallkidsthinktheirparentsarejudgingthem.Isn’tthatwhatparentsdo

—nagandjudge?That’snotwhatstudentswiththegrowthmindsetthink.They

thinktheir parentsare justtryingtoencouragelearningandgoodstudyhabits.

Here’swhattheysayabouttheirparents’motives:

Q:Supposeyourparentsoffertohelpyouwithyourschoolwork.Whywould

theydothis?

A:TheywantedtomakesureIlearnedasmuchasIcouldfrommy

schoolwork.

Q:Supposeyourparentsarehappythatyougotagoodgrade.

A:They’rehappybecauseagoodgrademeansthatIreallystucktomywork.

Q:Supposeyourparentsdiscussedyourperformancewithyouwhenyoudid

poorlyonsomethinginschool.

A:Theywantedtoteachmewaystostudybetterinthefuture.

Evenwhenitwasabouttheirconductortheirrelationships,thekidswiththe

fixedmindsetfeltjudged,butthekidswiththegrowthmindsetfelthelped.

Q:Imaginethatyourparentsbecameupsetwhenyoudidn’tdowhatthey

askedyoutodo.Whywouldtheybethisway?

FIXED-MINDSETCHILD:TheywereworriedImightbeabadkid.

GROWTH-MINDSETCHILD:Theywantedtohelpmelearnwaysofdoingit

betternexttime.

All kids misbehave. Research shows that normal young children misbehave

everythreeminutes.Doesitbecomeanoccasionforjudgmentoftheircharacter

oranoccasionforteaching?

Q:Imaginethatyourparentswereunhappywhenyoudidn’tsharewithother

kids.Whywouldtheybethisway?

FIXED-MINDSETCHILD:TheythoughtitshowedthemwhatkindofpersonI

was.

GROWTH-MINDSETCHILD:Theywantedtohelpmelearnbetterskillsfor

gettingalongwithotherkids.

Childrenlearntheselessonsearly.Childrenasyoungastoddlerspickupthese

messagesfromtheirparents,learningthattheirmistakesareworthyofjudgment

andpunishment.Orlearningthattheirmistakesareanoccasionforsuggestions

andteaching.

Here’s a kindergarten boy we will never forget. You will hear him role-

playingdifferentmessagesfromhistwoparents.Thisisthesituation:Hewrote

somenumbers inschool,they containedanerror, andnowhe tellsushow his

parentswouldreact.

MOTHER:Hello.Whatareyousadabout?

BOY:IgavemyteachersomenumbersandIskippedthenumber8andnow

I’mfeelingsad.

MOTHER:Well,there’sonethingthatcancheeryouup.

BOY:What?

MOTHER:Ifyoureallytellyourteacherthatyoutriedyourbest,shewouldn’t

bemadatyou.[Turningtofather]We’renotmad,arewe?

FATHER:Oh,yesweare!Son,youbettergorighttoyourroom.

IwishI couldtellyou he listenedtohis mother’sgrowth-orientedmessage.

But in our study, he seemed to heed the judgmental message of his dad,

downgradinghimselfforhiserrorsandhavingnogoodplanforfixingthem.Yet

atleasthehadhismother’seffortmessagethathecould,hopefully,puttousein

thefuture.

Parentsstartinterpretingandreactingtotheirchild’sbehavioratminuteone.

Anewmothertriestonurseherbaby.Thebabycriesandwon’tnurse.Ortakesa

few sucks, gives up, and starts screaming. Is the baby stubborn? Is the baby

deficient?Afterall,isn’tnursinganinbornreflex?Aren’tbabiessupposedtobe

“naturals”atnursing?What’swrongwithmybaby?

Anewmotherinthissituationtoldme:“AtfirstIgotreallyfrustrated.ThenI

keptyourworkinmind.Ikeptsayingtomybaby,‘We’rebothlearninghowto

dothis.Iknowyou’rehungry.Iknowit’sfrustrating,butwe’relearning.’This

wayofthinkinghelpedmestaycoolandguideherthroughtillitworked.Italso

helpedmeunderstandmybabybettersoIknewhowtoteachherotherthings,

too.”

Don’tjudge.Teach.It’salearningprocess.

CHILDRENPASSONTHEMESSAGES

Anotherwayweknowthatchildrenlearnthesemessagesisthatwecanseehow

theypassthemon.Evenyoungchildrenarereadytopassonthewisdomthey’ve

learned. We asked second-grade children: “What advice would you give to a

childinyourclasswhowashavingtroubleinmath?”Here’stheadvicefroma

childwiththegrowthmindset:

Doyouquitalot?Doyouthinkforaminuteandthenstop?Ifyou

do, you should think for a long time—two minutes maybe and if

youcan’tgetityoushouldreadtheproblemagain.Ifyoucan’tget

itthen,youshouldraiseyourhandandasktheteacher.

Isn’tthatthegreatest?Theadvicefromchildrenwiththefixedmindsetwas

not nearly as useful. Since there’s no recipe for success in the fixed mindset,

their advice tended to be short and sweet. “I’m sorry” was the advice of one

childasheofferedhiscondolences.

Even babies can pass along the messages they’ve received. Mary Main and

Carol George studied abused children, who had been judged and punished by

theirparentsforcryingormakingafuss.Abusiveparentsoftendon’tunderstand

thatchildren’scryingisasignaloftheirneeds,orthatbabiescan’tstopcrying

on command. Instead, they judge the child as disobedient, willful, or bad for

crying.

MainandGeorgewatchedtheabusedchildren(whowereonetothreeyears

old) in their day care setting, observing how they reacted when other children

were in distress and crying. The abused children often became angry at the

distressed children, and some even tried to assault them. They had gotten the

messagethatchildrenwhocryaretobejudgedandpunished.

Weoftenthinkthatthelegacyofabusegetspassedontoothersonlywhenthe

victims of abuse become parents. But this amazing study shows that children

learnlessonsearlyandtheyactonthem.

Howdidnonabusedchildrenreacttotheirdistressedclassmate,bytheway?

They showed sympathy. Many went over to the crying child to see what was

wrongandtoseeiftheycouldhelpout.

ISN’TDISCIPLINETEACHING?

Many parents think that when they judge and punish, they are teaching, as in

“I’llteachyoualessonyou’llneverforget.”Whataretheyteaching?Theyare

teachingtheirchildrenthatiftheygoagainsttheparents’rulesorvalues,they’ll

be judged and punished. They’re not teaching their children how to think

throughtheissuesandcometoethical,maturedecisionsontheirown.

And chances are, they’re not teaching their children that the channels of

communicationareopen.

Sixteen-year-oldAlyssacametohermotherandsaidthatsheandherfriends

wantedtotryalcohol.Couldsheinvitethemoverfora“cocktailparty”?Onthe

faceofit,thismightseemoutrageous.Buthere’swhatAlyssameant.Sheand

her friends had been going to parties where alcohol was available, but they

didn’twanttotryitinasettingwheretheydidn’tfeelsafeandincontrol.They

also didn’t want to drive home after drinking. They wanted to try it in a

supervised setting, with their parents’ permission, where their parents could

comeandpickthemupafterward.

It doesn’t matter whether Alyssa’s parents said yes or no. They had a full

discussion of the issues involved. They had a far more instructive discussion

than what would have followed from an outraged, angry, and judgmental

dismissal.

It’snotthatgrowth-mindedparentsindulgeandcoddletheirchildren.Notat

all.Theysethighstandards,buttheyteachthechildrenhowtoreachthem.They

say no, but it’s a fair, thoughtful, and respectful no. Next time you’re in a

positiontodiscipline,askyourself,WhatisthemessageI’msendinghere:Iwill

judgeandpunishyou?OrIwillhelpyouthinkandlearn?

MINDSETSCANBEALIFE-AND-DEATHMATTER

Of course parents want the best for their children, but sometimes parents put

their children in danger. As the director of undergraduate studies for my

departmentatColumbia,Isawalotofstudentsintrouble.Hereisthestoryofa

greatkidwhoalmostdidn’tmakeit.

SandyshowedupinmyofficeatColumbiaoneweekbeforegraduation.She

wantedtochangehermajortopsychology.Thisisbasicallyawackyrequest,but

Isensedherdesperationandlistenedcarefullytoherstory.WhenIlookedover

herrecord,itwasfilledwithA+’sandF’s.Whatwasgoingon?

Sandy had been groomed by her parents to go to Harvard. Because of their

fixedmindset,the only goalofSandy’seducation was toproveherworth and

competence(andperhapstheirs)bygainingadmissiontoHarvard.Goingthere

wouldmeanthatshewastrulyintelligent.Forthem,itwasnotaboutlearning.It

wasnotaboutpursuingherloveofscience.Itwasnotevenaboutmakingagreat

contribution. It was about the label. But she didn’t get in. And she fell into a

depression that had plagued her ever since. Sometimes she managed to work

effectively(theA+’s),butsometimesshedidnot(theF’s).

I knew that if I didn’t help her she wouldn’t graduate, and if she didn’t

graduateshewouldn’tbeabletofaceherparents.Andifshecouldn’tfaceher

parents,Ididn’tknowwhatwouldhappen.

IwaslegitimatelyabletohelpSandygraduate,butthatisn’treallythepoint.

It’sarealtragedytotakeabrilliantandwonderfulkidlikeSandyandcrushher

withtheweightoftheselabels.

Ihopethesestorieswillteachparentsto“wantthebest”fortheirchildrenin

therightway—byfosteringtheirinterests,growth,andlearning.

WANTINGTHEBESTINTHEWORSTWAY

Let’s look more closely at the message from Sandy’s parents: We don’t care

about who you are, what you’re interested in, and what you can become. We

don’t care about learning. We will love and respect you only if you go to

Harvard.

Mark’sparentsfeltthesameway.Markwasanexceptionalmathstudent,and

ashefinishedjuniorhighhewasexcitedaboutgoingtoStuyvesantHighSchool,

aspecialhighschoolinNewYorkwithastrongmath-and-sciencecurriculum.

There,hewouldstudymathwiththebestteachersandtalkmathwiththemost

advancedstudentsinthecity.Stuyvesantalsohadaprogramthatwouldlethim

takecollegemathcoursesatColumbiaassoonashewasready.

Butatthelastmoment,hisparentswouldnotlethimgo.Theyhadheardthat

it was hard to get into Harvard from Stuyvesant. So they made him go to a

differenthighschool.

Itdidn’tmatterthathewouldn’tbeabletopursuehisinterestsordevelophis

talentsaswell.Onlyonethingmattered,anditstartswithanH.

“WELOVEYOU—ONOURTERMS”

It’snotjustI’mjudgingyou.It’sI’mjudgingyouandI’llonlyloveyouifyou

succeed—onmyterms.

We’vestudiedkidsrangingfromsixyearsoldtocollegeage.Thosewiththe

fixedmindsetfeeltheirparentswon’tloveandrespectthemunlesstheyfulfill

theirparents’aspirationsforthem.Thecollegestudentssay:

“Ioftenfeellikemyparentswon’tvaluemeifI’mnotassuccessfulasthey

wouldlike.”

Or:“MyparentssayIcanbeanythingIlike,butdeepdownIfeeltheywon’t

approveofmeunlessIpursueaprofessiontheyadmire.”

John McEnroe’s father was like that. He was judgmental—everything was

black-and-white—and he put on the pressure. “ My parents pushed me….My

dad was the one mainly. He seemed to live for my growing little junior

career….IremembertellingmydadthatIwasn’tenjoyingit.I’dsay,‘Doyou

havetocometoeverymatch?Doyouhavetocometothispractice?Can’tyou

takeoneoff?’ ”

McEnroebroughthisfatherthesuccesshecraved,butMcEnroedidn’tenjoya

momentofit.Hesaysheenjoyedtheconsequencesofhissuccess—beingatthe

top,theadulation,andthemoney.However,hesays,“Manyathletesseemtruly

tolovetoplaytheirsport.Idon’tthinkIeverfeltthatwayabouttennis.”

Ithinkhedidloveitattheverybeginning,becausehetalksabouthowatfirst

hewasfascinatedbyallthedifferentwaysyoucouldhitaballandcreatenew

shots.Butweneverhearaboutthatkindoffascinationagain.Mr.McEnroesaw

hisboywasgoodattennisandonwentthepressure,thejudgment,andthelove

thatdependedonhisson’ssuccess.

Tiger Woods’s father presents a contrast. There’s no doubt that this guy is

ambitious.HealsoseeshissonasachosenpersonwithaGod-givendestiny,but

hefosteredTiger’sloveofgolfandraisedTigertofocusongrowthandlearning.

“If Tigerhad wantedtobeaplumber,Iwouldn’thaveminded, aslongashe

wasahellofaplumber.Thegoalwasforhimtobeagoodperson.He’sagreat

person.”Tigersaysinreturn,“Myparentshavebeenthebiggestinfluenceinmy

life. They taught me to give of myself, my time, talent, and, most of all, my

love.”This showsthatyoucanhavesuperinvolvedparentswhostillfosterthe

child’s own growth, rather than replacing it with their own pressure and

judgments.

Dorothy DeLay, the famous violin teacher, encountered pressure-cooker

parentsallthetime.Parentswhocaredmoreabouttalent,image,andlabelsthan

aboutthechild’slong-termlearning.

Onesetofparentsbroughttheireight-year-oldboytoplayforDeLay.Despite

herwarnings,theyhadmadehimmemorizetheBeethovenviolinconcerto.He

wasnote-perfect,butheplayedlikeafrightenedrobot.Theyhad,infact,ruined

his playing to suit their idea of talent, as in, “My eight-year-old can play the

Beethovenviolinconcerto.Whatcanyoursdo?”

DeLayspentcountlesshourswithamotherwhoinsistedit wastimeforher

sontobesignedbyafancytalentagency.ButhadshefollowedDeLay’sadvice?

No.Forquiteawhile,DeLayhadbeenwarningherthathersondidn’thavea

largeenoughrepertoire.Ratherthanheedingtheexpertadviceandfosteringher

son’s development, however, the mother refused to believe that anyone could

turndownatalentlikehisforsuchaslightreason.

InsharpcontrastwasYuraLee’smother.Mrs.Leealwayssatserenelyduring

Yura’slesson,withoutthetensionandfranticnotetakingofsomeoftheother

parents.Shesmiled,sheswayedtothemusic,sheenjoyedherself.Asaresult,

Yura did not develop the anxieties and insecurities that children with

overinvested, judgmental parents do. Says Yura, “I’m always happy when I

play.”

IDEALS

Isn’titnaturalforparentstosetgoalsandhaveidealsfortheirchildren?Yes,but

someidealsarehelpfulandothersarenot.Weaskedcollegestudentstodescribe

their ideal of a successful student. And we asked them to tell us how they

thoughttheymeasureduptothatideal.

Students with the fixed mindset described ideals that could not be worked

toward.Youhaditoryoudidn’t.

“Theidealsuccessfulstudentisonewhocomesinwithinnatetalent.”

“Genius,physicallyfitandgoodatsports….Theygottherebasedonnatural

ability.”

Didtheythinktheymeasureduptotheirideal?Mostlynot.Instead,theysaid

theseidealsdisruptedtheirthinking,madethemprocrastinate,madethemgive

up,andmadethemstressed-out.Theyweredemoralizedbytheidealtheycould

neverhopetobe.

Studentswiththegrowthmindsetdescribedidealslikethese:

“Asuccessfulstudentisonewhoseprimarygoalistoexpandtheirknowledge

andtheirwaysofthinkingandinvestigatingtheworld.Theydonotseegradesas

anendinthemselvesbutasmeanstocontinuetogrow.”

Or:“Theideal studentvaluesknowledge for itsownsake, as wellasfor its

instrumentaluses.Heorshehopestomakeacontributiontosocietyatlarge.”

Weretheysimilartotheirideal?Theywereworkingtowardit.“Assimilaras

Icanbe—hey,ittakeseffort.”Or:“Ibelievedformanyyearsthatgrades/tests

werethemostimportantthingbutIamtryingtomovebeyondthat.”Theirideals

wereinspiringtothem.

Whenparentsgivetheirchildrenafixed-mindsetideal,theyareaskingthem

tofitthemoldofthebrilliant,talentedchild,orbedeemedunworthy.Thereis

noroomforerror.Andthereisnoroomforthechildren’sindividuality—their

interests, their quirks, their desires and values. I can hardly count the times

fixed-mindset parents have wrung their hands and told me how their children

wererebellingordroppingout.

HaimGinottdescribesNicholas,ageseventeen:

In my father’s mind there is a picture of an ideal son. When he

compareshimto me,heis deeplydisappointed.I don’tliveup to

my father’s dream. Since early childhood, I sensed his

disappointment. He tried to hide it, but it came out in a hundred

littleways—inhistone,inhiswords,inhissilence.Hetriedhardto

makemeacarboncopyofhisdreams.Whenhefailedhegaveup

onme.Butheleftadeepscar,apermanentfeelingoffailure.

When parents help their children construct growth-minded ideals, they are

giving them something they can strive for. They are also giving their children

growing room, room to grow into full human beings who will make their

contributiontosocietyinawaythatexcitesthem.Ihaverarelyheardagrowth-

minded parent say, “I am disappointed in my child.” Instead, with a beaming

smile,theysay,“Iamamazedattheincrediblepersonmychildhasbecome.”

EverythingI’vesaidaboutparentsappliestoteachers,too.Butteachershave

additional concerns. They face large classes of students with differing skills,

whosepastlearningthey’vehadnopartin.What’sthebestwaytoeducatethese

students?

TEACHERS(ANDPARENTS):WHATMAKESAGREATTEACHER

(ORPARENT)?

Many educators think that lowering their standards will give students success

experiences,boosttheirself-esteem,andraisetheirachievement.Itcomesfrom

the same philosophy as the overpraising of students’ intelligence. Well, it

doesn’t work. Lowering standards just leads to poorly educated students who

feelentitledtoeasyworkandlavishpraise.

For thirty-five years, Sheila Schwartz taught aspiring English teachers. She

tried to set high standards, especially since they were going to pass on their

knowledgetogenerationsofchildren.Buttheybecameindignant.“Onestudent,

whose writing was full of grammatical mistakes and misspellings,” she says,

“marchedintomyofficewithherhusbandfromWestPoint—inadressuniform,

his chest covered with ribbons—because her feelings had been hurt by my

insistenceoncorrectspelling.”

AnotherstudentwasaskedtosummarizethethemeofToKillaMockingbird,

Harper Lee’s novel about a southern lawyer fighting prejudice and

(unsuccessfully)defendingablackmanaccusedofmurder.Thestudentinsisted

the theme was that “all people are basically nice.” When Schwartz questioned

thatconclusion,thestudentlefttheclassandreportedhertothedean.Schwartz

wasreprimandedforhavingstandardsthatweretoohigh.Why,Schwartzasks,

shouldthelowstandardsofthesefutureteachersbehonoredabovetheneedsof

thechildrentheywillonedayteach?

On the other hand, simply raising standards in our schools, without giving

studentsthemeansofreachingthem,isarecipefordisaster.Itjustpushesthe

poorlypreparedorpoorlymotivatedstudentsintofailureandoutofschool.

Isthereawaytosetstandardshighandhavestudentsreachthem?

In chapter 3, we saw in the work of Falko Rheinberg that teachers with the

growthmindsetbroughtmanylowachievers up into the high-achieving range.

Wesawinthegrowth-mindedteachingofJaimeEscalantethatinner-cityhigh

schoolstudentscouldlearncollegecalculus,andinthegrowth-mindedteaching

ofMarvaCollinsthatinner-citygradeschoolchildrencouldreadShakespeare.

In this chapter, we’ll see more. We’ll see how growth-oriented teaching

unleasheschildren’sminds.

I’ll focus on three great teachers, two who worked with students who are

considered “disadvantaged” and one who worked with students considered

supertalented.Whatdothesegreatteachershaveincommon?

GreatTeachers

Thegreatteachersbelieveinthegrowthoftheintellectandtalent,andtheyare

fascinatedwiththeprocessoflearning.

MarvaCollinstaught Chicagochildrenwho hadbeenjudged and discarded.

For many, her classroom was their last stop. One boy had been in and out of

thirteenschools infour years.Onestabbedchildrenwithpencilsand hadbeen

thrownoutofamentalhealthcenter.Oneeight-year-oldwouldremovetheblade

from the pencil sharpener and cut up his classmates’ coats, hats, gloves, and

scarves.Onechildreferredtokillinghimselfinalmosteverysentence.Onehit

another student with a hammer on his first day. These children hadn’t learned

muchinschool,buteveryoneknewitwastheirownfault.EveryonebutCollins.

When60 Minutesdida segmenton Collins’sclassroom,MorleySafertried

hisbesttogetachildtosayhedidn’tliketheschool.“It’ssohardhere.There’s

norecess.There’snogym.Theyworkyouallday.Youhaveonlyfortyminutes

forlunch.Whydoyoulikeit?It’sjusttoohard.”Butthestudentreplied,“That’s

whyIlikeit,becauseitmakesyourbrainsbigger.”

ChicagoSun-TimeswriterZaySmithinterviewedoneofthechildren:“Wedo

hardthingshere.Theyfillyourbrain.”

AsCollinslooksbackonhowshegotstarted,shesays,“Ihavealwaysbeen

fascinatedwithlearning,withtheprocessofdiscoveringsomethingnew,andit

wasexcitingtoshareinthediscoveriesmadebymy…students.”Onthefirstday

of school, she always promised her students—all students—that they would

learn.Sheforgedacontractwiththem.

“ I know most of you can’t spell your name. You don’t know the alphabet,

youdon’tknowhowtoread,youdon’tknowhomonymsorhowtosyllabicate.I

promiseyouthatyouwill.Noneofyouhaseverfailed.Schoolmayhavefailed

you.Well,goodbyetofailure,children.Welcometosuccess.Youwillreadhard

books in here and understand what you read. You will write every day….But

youmusthelpmetohelpyou.Ifyoudon’tgiveanything,don’texpectanything.

Successisnotcomingtoyou,youmustcometoit.”

Her joy in her students’ learning was enormous. As they changed from

childrenwhoarrivedwith“toughenedfacesandglassed-overeyes”tochildren

whowerebeginningtobrimwithenthusiasm,shetoldthem,“Idon’tknowwhat

St. Peter has planned for me, but you children are giving me my heaven on

earth.”

Rafe Esquith teaches Los Angeles second graders from poor areas plagued

with crime. Many live with people who have drug, alcohol, and emotional

problems.Everydayhetellshisstudentsthatheisnosmarterthantheyare—

just more experienced. He constantly makes them see how much they have

grownintellectually—howassignmentsthatwereoncehardhavebecomeeasier

becauseoftheirpracticeanddiscipline.

Unlike Collins’s school or Esquith’s school, the Juilliard School of music

acceptsonlythemosttalentedstudentsintheworld.Youwouldthinktheidea

wouldbe,You’realltalented, nowlet’sgetdownto learning.Butifanything,

the idea of talent and genius looms even larger there. In fact, many teachers

mentallyweededoutthestudentstheyweren’tgoingtobotherwith.Exceptfor

Dorothy DeLay, the wondrous violin teacher of Itzhak Perlman, Midori, and

SarahChang.

DeLay’s husband always teased her about her “midwestern” belief that

anything is possible. “Here is the empty prairie—let’s build a city.” That’s

exactlywhyshelovedteaching.Forher,teachingwasaboutwatchingsomething

growbeforeherveryeyes.Andthechallengewastofigureouthowtomakeit

happen.Ifstudentsdidn’tplayintune,itwasbecausetheyhadn’tlearnedhow.

HermentorandfellowteacheratJuilliard,IvanGalamian,wouldsay,“Oh,he

hasnoear.Don’twasteyourtime.”Butshewouldinsistonexperimentingwith

differentwaysofchangingthat.(HowcanIdoit?)Andsheusuallyfoundaway.

Asmore andmore studentswanted apart ofthismindsetand asshe“wasted”

moreandmoreofhertimeontheseefforts,Galamiantriedtogetthepresident

ofJuilliardtofireher.

It’s interesting. Both DeLay and Galamian valued talent, but Galamian

believed that talent was inborn and DeLay believed that it was a quality that

could be acquired. “ I think it’s too easy for a teacher to say, ‘Oh this child

wasn’t born with it, so I won’t waste my time.’ Too many teachers hide their

ownlackofabilitybehindthatstatement.”

DeLay gave her all to every one of her students. Itzhak Perlman was her

studentandsowashiswife,Toby,whosaysthatveryfewteachersgetevena

fractionofanItzhakPerlmaninalifetime.“Shegotthewholething,butIdon’t

believe she gave him more than she gave me…and I believe I am just one of

many,manysuchpeople.”OnceDeLaywasasked,aboutanotherstudent,why

shegavesomuchtimetoapupilwhoshowedsolittlepromise.“Ithinkshehas

somethingspecial….It’sinherperson.Thereissomekindofdignity.”IfDeLay

couldgethertoputitintoherplaying,thatstudentwouldbeaspecialviolinist.

HighStandardsandaNurturingAtmosphere

Greatteacherssethighstandardsforalltheirstudents,notjusttheoneswhoare

already achieving. Marva Collins set extremely high standards, right from the

start.Sheintroducedwordsandconceptsthatwere,atfirst,wayabovewhather

studentscouldgrasp.YetsheestablishedonDayOneanatmosphereofgenuine

affectionandconcernasshepromisedstudentstheywouldproduce:“I’mgonna

loveyou…Iloveyoualready,andI’mgoingtoloveyouevenwhenyoudon’t

loveyourself,”shesaidtotheboywhowouldn’ttry.

Doteachershavetolovealloftheirstudents?No,buttheyhavetocareabout

everysinglestudent.

Teachers with the fixed mindset create an atmosphere of judging. These

teachers look at students’ beginning performance and decide who’s smart and

who’s dumb. Then they give up on the “dumb” ones. “They’re not my

responsibility.”

These teachers don’t believe in improvement, so they don’t try to create it.

Rememberthefixed-mindsetteachersinchapter3whosaid:

“Accordingtomyexperiencestudents’achievementmostlyremainsconstant

inthecourseofayear.”

“AsateacherIhavenoinfluenceonstudents’intellectualability.”

This is how stereotypes work. Stereotypes tell teachers which groups are

brightandwhichgroupsarenot.Soteacherswiththefixedmindsetknowwhich

studentstogiveuponbeforethey’veevenmetthem.

MoreonHighStandardsandaNurturingAtmosphere

WhenBenjaminBloom studiedhis120 world-classconcertpianists, sculptors,

swimmers,tennisplayers, mathematicians, andresearchneurologists,he found

something fascinating. For most of them, their first teachers were incredibly

warmandaccepting.Notthattheysetlowstandards.Notatall,buttheycreated

anatmosphereoftrust,notjudgment.Itwas,“I’mgoingtoteachyou,”not“I’m

goingtojudgeyourtalent.”

AsyoulookatwhatCollinsandEsquithdemandedoftheirstudents—alltheir

students—it’s almost shocking. When Collins expanded her school to include

youngchildren,sherequiredthateveryfour-year-oldwhostartedinSeptember

bereadingbyChristmas.Andtheyallwere.Thethree-andfour-year-oldsuseda

vocabularybooktitledVocabularyfortheHighSchoolStudent.Theseven-year-

oldswerereadingTheWallStreetJournal.Forolderchildren,adiscussionof

Plato’sRepublicledtodiscussionsofdeTocqueville’sDemocracyinAmerica,

Orwell’sAnimalFarm,Machiavelli,andtheChicagocitycouncil.Herreading

list for the late-grade-school children included The Complete Plays of Anton

Chekhov, Physics Through Experiment, and The Canterbury Tales. Oh, and

always Shakespeare. Even the boys who picked their teeth with switchblades,

shesays,lovedShakespeareandalwaysbeggedformore.

YetCollinsmaintainedanextremelynurturingatmosphere.Averystrictand

disciplinedone,butalovingone.Realizingthatherstudentswerecomingfrom

teachers who made a career of telling them what was wrong with them, she

quicklymadeknownhercompletecommitmenttothemasherstudentsandas

people.

Esquithbemoans theloweringof standards.Recently,hetellsus, hisschool

celebrated reading scores that were twenty points below the national average.

Why?Becausetheywereapointortwohigherthantheyearbefore.“Maybeit’s

importanttolookforthegoodandbeoptimistic,”hesays,“butdelusionisnot

the answer. Those who celebrate failure will not be around to help today’s

students celebrate their jobs flipping burgers….Someone has to tell children if

theyarebehind,andlayoutaplanofattacktohelpthemcatchup.”

AllofhisfifthgradersmasterareadinglistthatincludesOfMiceandMen,

NativeSon,BuryMyHeartatWoundedKnee,TheJoyLuckClub,TheDiaryof

Anne Frank, To Kill a Mockingbird, and A Separate Peace. Every one of his

sixth graders passes an algebra final that would reduce most eighth and ninth

graderstotears.Butagain,allisachievedinanatmosphereofaffectionanddeep

personalcommitmenttoeverystudent.

“Challengeandnurture”describesDeLay’sapproach,too.Oneofherformer

students expresses it this way: “ That is part of Miss DeLay’s genius—to put

peopleintheframeofmindwheretheycando theirbest….Veryfewteachers

can actually get you to your ultimate potential. Miss DeLay has that gift. She

challengesyouatthesametimethatyoufeelyouarebeingnurtured.”

HardWorkandMoreHardWork

Butarechallengeandloveenough?Notquite.Allgreatteachersteachstudents

howtoreachthehighstandards.CollinsandEsquithdidn’thandtheirstudentsa

reading list and wish them bon voyage. Collins’s students read and discussed

everylineofMacbethinclass.Esquithspenthoursplanningwhatchaptersthey

wouldreadinclass.“Iknowwhichchildwillhandlethechallengeofthemost

difficult paragraphs, and carefully plan a passage for the shy youngster…who

will begin his journey as a good reader. Nothing is left to chance….It takes

enormous energy, but to be in a room with young minds who hang on every

word of a classic book and beg for more if I stop makes all the planning

worthwhile.”

Whataretheyteachingthestudentsenroute?Tolovelearning.Toeventually

learnandthinkforthemselves.Andtoworkhardonthefundamentals.Esquith’s

classoftenmetbeforeschool,afterschool,andonschoolvacationstomasterthe

fundamentalsofEnglishandmath,especiallyastheworkgotharder.Hismotto:

“Therearenoshortcuts.”Collinsechoesthatideaasshetellsherclass,“Thereis

nomagichere.Mrs.Collinsisnomiracleworker.Idonotwalkonwater,Ido

notpartthesea.Ijustlovechildrenandworkharderthanalotofpeople,andso

willyou.”

DeLayexpectedalotfromherstudents,butshe,too,guidedthemthere.Most

students are intimidated by the idea of talent, and it keeps them in a fixed

mindset.ButDeLaydemystifiedtalent.Onestudentwassurehecouldn’tplaya

pieceasfastasItzhakPerlman.Soshedidn’tlethimseethemetronomeuntilhe

hadachievedit.“Iknowsosurelythatifhehadbeenhandlingthatmetronome,

asheapproachedthatnumberhewouldhavesaidtohimself,Icanneverdothis

asfastasItzhakPerlman,andhewouldhavestoppedhimself.”

Another student was intimidated by the beautiful sound made by talented

violinists.“Wewereworkingonmysound,andtherewasthisonenoteIplayed,

and Miss DeLay stopped me and said, ‘Now that is a beautiful sound.’ ” She

then explained how every note has to have a beautiful beginning, middle, and

end,leadingintothenextnote.Andhethought,“Wow!IfIcandoitthere,Ican

doiteverywhere.”SuddenlythebeautifulsoundofPerlmanmadesenseandwas

notjustanoverwhelmingconcept.

Whenstudentsdon’tknowhowtodosomethingandothersdo,thegapseems

unbridgeable.Someeducatorstrytoreassuretheirstudentsthatthey’rejustfine

asthey are.Growth-mindedteacherstellstudentsthetruthandthen givethem

the tools to close the gap. As Marva Collins said to a boy who was clowning

aroundinclass, “You areinsixthgrade and your readingscoreis1.1. I don’t

hideyourscoresinafolder.Itellthemtoyousoyouknowwhatyouhavetodo.

Nowyourclowningdaysareover.”Thentheygotdowntowork.

StudentsWhoDon’tCare

What about students who won’t work, who don’t care to learn? Here is a

shortened version of an interaction between Collins and Gary, a student who

refusedtowork,rippeduphishomeworkassignments,andwouldnotparticipate

in class. Collins is trying to get him to go to the blackboard to do some

problems:

COLLINS: Sweetheart, what are you going to do? Use your life or throw it

away?

GARY:I’mnotgonnadoanydamnwork.

COLLINS:Iamnotgoingtogiveuponyou.Iamnotgoingtoletyougiveup

onyourself.Ifyousitthereleaningagainstthiswallallday,youaregoingto

endupleaningonsomethingorsomeoneallyourlife.Andallthatbrilliance

bottledupinsideyouwillgotowaste.

Atthat,Garyagreedtogototheboard,butthenrefusedtoaddressthework

there.AfterawhileCollinssaid:

“Ifyoudonotwanttoparticipate,gotothetelephoneandtellyourmother,

‘Mother, in this school we have to learn, and Mrs. Collins says I can’t fool

around,sowillyoupleasepickmeup.’ ”

Gary started writing. Eventually, Gary became an eager participant and an

avid writer. Later that year, the class was discussing Macbeth and how his

misguidedthinkingledhimtocommitmurder.“It’ssortoflikeSocratessays,

isn’t it, Miss Collins?” Gary piped up. “Macbeth should have known that

‘Straight thinking leads to straight living.’ ” For a class assignment, he wrote,

“Somnus,godofsleep,pleaseawakenus.Whilewesleep,ignorancetakesover

theworld….Takeyourspelloffus.Wedon’thavelongbeforeignorancemakes

acoupd’étatoftheworld.”

When teachers are judging them, students will sabotage the teacher by not

trying.Butwhenstudentsunderstandthatschoolisforthem—awayforthemto

growtheirminds—theydonotinsistonsabotagingthemselves.

In my work, I have seen tough guys shed tears when they realize they can

becomesmarter.It’scommonforstudentstoturnofftoschoolandadoptanair

ofindifference,butwemakeamistakeifwethinkanystudentstopscaring.

Growth-MindedTeachers:WhoAreThesePeople?

How can growth-minded teachers be so selfless, devoting untold hours to the

worststudents?Aretheyjustsaints?Isitreasonabletoexpectthateveryonecan

become a saint? The answer is that they’re not entirely selfless. They love to

learn. And teaching is a wonderful way to learn. About people and how they

tick.Aboutwhatyouteach.Aboutyourself.Andaboutlife.

Fixed-mindedteachersoften think of themselves as finished products. Their

roleissimplytoimparttheirknowledge.Butdoesn’tthatgetboringyearafter

year? Standing before yet another crowd of faces and imparting. Now, that’s

hard.

SeymourSarasonwasaprofessorofminewhenIwasingraduateschool.He

was a wonderful educator, and he always told us to question assumptions.

“There’sanassumption,”hesaid,“thatschoolsareforstudents’learning.Well,

whyaren’ttheyjustasmuchforteachers’learning?”Ineverforgotthat.Inallof

myteaching,IthinkaboutwhatIfindfascinatingandwhatIwouldlovetolearn

moreabout.Iusemyteachingtogrow,andthatmakesme,evenafterallthese

years,afreshandeagerteacher.

OneofMarvaCollins’sfirstmentorstaughtherthesamething—that,above

all,a goodteacheris onewhocontinues tolearnalong withthestudents. And

she let her students know that right up front: “Sometimes I don’t like other

grown-ups very much because they think they know everything. I don’t know

everything.Icanlearnallthetime.”

It’sbeensaidthatDorothyDeLaywasanextraordinaryteacherbecauseshe

wasnotinterestedinteaching.Shewasinterestedinlearning.

So, are great teachers born or made? Can anyone be a Collins, Esquith, or

DeLay? It starts with the growth mindset—about yourself and about children.

Notjustlipservice to the idea thatallchildrencan learn, but a deepdesireto

reach in and ignite the mind of every child. Michael Lewis, in The New York

Times, tells of a coach who did this for him. “I had a new taste for…extra

work…anditdidn’ttakelongtofigureouthowmuchbettermylifecouldbeifI

appliedthisnewzealacquiredonabaseballfieldtotherestofit.Itwasasifthis

baseball coach had reached inside me, found a rusty switch marked Turn On

BeforeAttemptingtoUseandflippedit.”

Coachesareteachers,too,buttheirstudents’successesandfailuresareplayed

outinfrontofcrowds,publishedinthenewspapers,andwrittenintotherecord

books. Their jobs rest on producing winners. Let’s look closely at three

legendarycoachestoseetheirmindsetsinaction.

COACHES:WINNINGTHROUGHMINDSET

Everyone who knows me well laughs when I say someone is complicated.

“What do you think of so-and-so?” “Oh, he’s complicated.” It’s usually not a

compliment. It means that so-and-so may be capable of great charm, warmth,

and generosity, but there’s an undercurrent of ego that can erupt at any time.

Youneverreallyknowwhenyoucantrusthim.

The fixed mindset makes people complicated. It makes them worried about

their fixed traits and creates the need to document them, sometimes at your

expense.Anditmakesthemjudgmental.

TheFixed-MindsetCoachinAction

Bobby Knight, the famous and controversial college basketball coach, is

complicated. He could be unbelievably kind. One time he passed up an

importantandlucrativeopportunitytobeasportscaster,becauseaformerplayer

ofhishadbeeninabadaccident.Knightrushedtohissideandsawhimthrough

theordeal.

Hecouldbeextremelygracious.Afterthebasketballteamhecoachedwonthe

Olympicgoldmedal,heinsistedthattheteampayhomagefirstandforemostto

Coach Henry Iba. Iba had never been given proper respect for his Olympic

accomplishments,andinwhateverwayhecould,Knightwantedtomakeupfor

it.HehadtheteamcarryCoachIbaaroundthefloorontheirshoulders.

Knightcaredgreatlyabouthisplayers’academicrecords.Hewantedthemto

get an education, and he had a firm rule against missing classes or tutoring

sessions.

Buthecouldalsobecruel,andthiscrueltycamefromthefixedmindset.John

Feinstein,authorofSeasonontheBrink,abookaboutKnightandhisteam,tells

us:“Knightwas incapable of acceptingfailure.Everydefeat was personal;his

team lost, a team he had selected and coached….Failure on any level all but

destroyedhim,especiallyfailureincoachingbecauseitwascoachingthatgave

himhisidentity, made himspecial,sethim apart.” Alossmadehim a failure,

obliteratedhisidentity.Sowhenhewasyourcoach—whenyourwinsandlosses

measuredhim—hewasmercilesslyjudgmental.Hisdemeaningofplayerswho

lethimdownwas,hopefully,withoutparallel.

In Daryl Thomas, Feinstein says, “Knight saw a player of huge potential.

Thomashadwhatcoachescalla‘milliondollarbody.’ ”Hewasbigandstrong,

butalsofast.Hecouldshoottheballwithhislefthandorhisrighthand.Knight

couldn’tlivewiththethoughtthatThomasandhismillion-dollarbodyweren’t

bringingtheteamsuccess:

“ You know what you are Daryl? You are the worst f pussy I’ve ever seen

play basketball at this school. The absolute worst pussy ever. You have more

goddamabilitythan95percentoftheplayerswe’vehadherebutyouareapussy

fromthetopofyourheadtothebottomofyourfeet.Anabsolutefpussy.That’s

myassessmentofyouafterthreeyears.”

Tomakeasimilarpoint,KnightonceputaTampaxinaplayer’slocker.

Thomaswasasensitiveguy.Anassistantcoachhadgiventhisadvice:When

he’s calling you an asshole, don’t listen. But when he starts telling you why

you’re an asshole, listen. That way, you’ll get better. Thomas couldn’t follow

thatadvice.Heheardeverything,and,afterthetirade,hebrokedownrightthere

onthebasketballcourt.

The ax of judgment came down on players who had the audacity to lose a

game.OftenKnightdidnotlettheguiltypartiesridebackhomewiththerestof

theteam.Theywereno longer worthy of respectful treatment. Onetime,after

his team reached the semifinals of a national tournament (but not the national

tournament),hewasaskedbyaninterviewerwhathelikedbestabouttheteam.“

WhatIlikebestaboutthisteamrightnow,”Knightanswered,“isthefactthatI

onlyhavetowatchitplayonemoretime.”

Someplayers couldtakeitbetterthanothers.SteveAlford,who wentonto

haveaprofessionalcareer,hadcometoIndianawithcleargoalsinmindandwas

abletomaintain a stronggrowthfocusmuch of the time.Hewas able to hear

and use Knight’s wisdom and, for the most part, ignore the obscene or

demeaningpartsofthetirades.Butevenhedescribeshowtheteambrokedown

undertheyokeofKnight’sjudgments,andhowhehimselfbecamesopersonally

unhappyatsomepointsthathelosthiszestforthesport.

“ The atmosphere was poisonous….When I had been playing well I had

always stayed upbeat, no matter how much Coach yelled….But now his

negativism,piledon top of my own, was drowning me….Mom and Dad were

concerned.Theycouldseetheloveofthegamegoingoutofme.”

THEHOLYGRAIL:NOMISTAKES

SaysAlford,“Coach’sHolyGrailwasthemistake-freegame.”Uh-oh.Weknow

which mindset makes mistakes intolerable. And Knight’s explosions were

legendary.Therewasthetimehethrewthechairacrossthecourt.Therewasthe

time he yanked his player off the court by his jersey. There was the time he

grabbedhisplayerbytheneck.Heoftentriedtojustifyhisbehaviorbysaying

hewastougheningtheteamup,preparingthemtoplayunderpressure.Butthe

truthis,hecouldn’tcontrolhimself.Wasthechairateachingexercise?Wasthe

chokeholdeducational?

He motivated his players, not through respect for them, but through

intimidation—through fear. They feared his judgments and explosions. Did it

work?

Sometimesit“worked.”Hehadthreechampionshipteams.Inthe“seasonon

thebrink”describedbyJohnFeinstein,theteamdidnothavesize,experience,or

quickness, but they were contenders. They won twenty-one games, thanks to

Knight’sgreatbasketballknowledgeandcoachingskills.

But other times, it didn’t work. Individual players or the team as a whole

brokedown.Intheseasononthebrink,theycollapsedattheendoftheseason.

Theyearbefore,too,theteamhadcollapsedunderKnight’spressure.Overthe

years,someplayershadescapedbytransferringtootherschools,bybreakingthe

rules(likecuttingclassesorskippingtutoringsessions),orbygoingearlytothe

pros,likeIsiahThomas.Onaworldtour,theplayersoftensataroundfantasizing

aboutwheretheyshouldhavegonetoschool,iftheyhadn’tmadethemistakeof

choosingIndiana.

It’snotthatKnighthadafixedmindsetabouthisplayers’ability.Hefirmly

believedintheircapacitytodevelop.Buthehadafixedmindsetabouthimself

andhiscoachingability.Theteamwas his product, and they had to prove his

abilityeverytimeout.Theywerenotallowedtolosegames,makemistakes,or

questionhiminanyway,becausethatwouldreflectonhiscompetence.Nordid

he seem to analyze his motivational strategies when they weren’t working.

Maybe Daryl Thomas needed another kind of incentive aside from ridicule or

humiliation.

Whatarewetomakeofthiscomplicatedmanasamentortoyoungplayers?

His biggest star, Isiah Thomas, expresses his profound ambivalence about

Knight.“YouknowthereweretimeswhenifIhadagun,IthinkIwouldhave

shothim.AndtherewereothertimeswhenIwantedtoputmyarmsaroundhim,

hughim,andtellhimIlovedhim.”

I would not consider myself an unqualified success if my best student had

consideredshootingme.

TheGrowth-MindsetCoachinAction

ACOACHFORALLSEASONS

Coach John Wooden produced one of the greatest championships records in

sports.HeledtheUCLAbasketballteamtotheNCAAChampionshipin1964,

1965,1967,1968,1969,1970,1971,1972,1973,and1975.Therewereseasons

whenhisteamwasundefeated,andtheyoncehadaneighty-eight-gamewinning

streak.AllthisIsortofknew.

WhatIdidn’tknowwasthatwhenWoodenarrivedatUCLA,itwasafarcry

fromabasketball dynasty. Infact,hedidn’twant to workatUCLAat all. He

wantedtogotoMinnesota.ItwasarrangedthatMinnesotawouldphonehimat

sixo’clockonacertaineveningtotellhimifhehadthejob.HetoldUCLAto

callhimatseven.Noonecalledatsix,sixthirty,orevensixforty-five,sowhen

UCLAcalledatseven,hesaidyes.Nosoonerhadhehungupthanthecallfrom

Minnesotacame.Astormhadmessedupthephonelinesandpreventedthesix

o’clockphonecallwiththejobofferfromgettingthrough.

UCLAhad grossly inadequate facilities.Forhis first sixteen years, Wooden

heldpracticeinacrowded,dark,andpoorlyventilatedgym,knownastheB.O.

Barnbecauseoftheatmosphericeffectofthesweatingbodies.Inthesamegym,

there were often wrestling matches, gymnastics training, trampoline jumping,

andcheerleadingworkoutsgoingonalongsidebasketballpractice.

Therewasalsonoplaceforthegames.Forthefirstfewyears,theyhadtouse

theB.O.Barn,andthenforfourteenmoreyears,theyhadtotravelaroundthe

regionborrowinggymsfromschoolsandtowns.

Thenthereweretheplayers.Whenheputthemthroughtheirfirstpractice,he

wasshattered.Theyweresobadthatifhe’dhadanhonorablewaytobackoutof

thejob,he wouldhave.Thepress had(perceptively)picked his teamtofinish

lastintheirdivision,butWoodenwenttowork,andthislaughableteamdidnot

finishlast.Itwonthedivisiontitle,withtwenty-twowinsandsevenlossesfor

theseason.Thenextyear,theywenttotheNCAAplay-offs.

Whatdidhegivethem?Hegavethemconstanttraininginthebasicskills,he

gavethemconditioning,andhegavethemmindset.

THEHOLYGRAIL:FULLPREPARATIONANDFULLEFFORT

Woodenwasnotcomplicated.Hewaswiseandinteresting,butnotcomplicated.

Hewasjustastraight-aheadgrowth-mindsetguywholivedbythisrule:“You

havetoapplyyourselfeachdaytobecomingalittlebetter.Byapplyingyourself

tothetaskofbecomingalittlebettereachandeverydayoveraperiodoftime,

youwillbecomealotbetter.”

Hedidn’taskformistake-freegames.Hedidn’tdemandthathisplayersnever

lose.Heaskedforfullpreparationandfulleffortfromthem.“DidIwin?DidI

lose? Those are the wrong questions. The correct question is: Did I make my

besteffort?”Ifso,hesays,“Youmaybeoutscoredbutyouwillneverlose.”

Hewasnotasofty.Hedidnottoleratecoasting.Iftheplayerswerecoasting

duringpractice,heturnedoutthelightsandleft:“Gentlemen,practiceisover.”

Theyhadlosttheiropportunitytobecomebetterthatday.

EQUALTREATMENT

Like DeLay, Wooden gave equal time and attention to all of his players,

regardlessoftheirinitialskills.They,inturn,gaveall,andblossomed.Hereis

WoodentalkingabouttwonewplayerswhentheyarrivedatUCLA:“Ilooked

ateachonetoseewhathehadandthensaidtomyself,‘Ohgracious,ifhecan

make a real contribution, a playing contribution, to our team then we must be

pretty lousy.’ However, what I couldn’t see was what these men had inside.”

Both gave just about everything they could possibly give and both became

starters,oneasthestartingcenteronanationalchampionshipteam.

Herespectedallplayersequally.Youknowhowsomeplayers’numbersare

retired after they move on, in homage to their greatness? No player’s number

was retired while Wooden was coach, although he had some of the greatest

playersofalltime,likeKareemAbdul-JabbarandBillWalton.Lateron,when

theirnumberswereretired,hewasagainstit.“Otherfellowswhoplayedonour

team also wore those numbers. Some of those other players gave me close to

everythingtheyhad….Thejerseyandthenumberonitneverbelongtojustone

singleplayer,nomatterhowgreatorhowbiga‘star’thatparticularplayeris.It

goesagainstthewholeconceptofwhatateamis.”

Waitaminute.Hewasinthebusinessofwinninggames.Don’tyouhaveto

go with your talented players and give less to the second stringers? Well, he

didn’tplayallplayersequally,buthegavetoallplayersequally.Forexample,

whenherecruitedanotherplayerthesameyearasBillWalton,hetoldhimthat

hewouldplayvery littleinactualgames because of Walton.Buthe promised

him,“Bythetimeyougraduateyou’llgetaprocontract.You’llbethatgood.”

By his third year, the player was giving Bill Walton all he could handle in

practice.Andwhenheturnedpro,hewasnamedrookieoftheyearinhisleague.

PREPARINGPLAYERSFORLIFE

Was Wooden a genius, a magician able to turn mediocre players into

champions?Actually,headmitsthatintermsofbasketballtacticsandstrategies,

hewasquiteaverage.Whathewasreallygoodatwasanalyzingandmotivating

his players. With these skills he was able to help his players fulfill their

potential, not just in basketball, but in life—something he found even more

rewardingthanwinninggames.

Did Wooden’s methods work? Aside from the ten championship titles, we

havethetestimonyofhisplayers,noneofwhomrefertofirearms.

BillWalton,HallofFamer:“Ofcourse,therealcompetitionhewaspreparing

usforwaslife….Hetaughtusthevaluesandcharacteristicsthatcouldmakeus

notonlygoodplayers,butalsogoodpeople.”

Denny Crum, successful coach: “I can’t imagine what my life would have

been had Coach Wooden not been my guiding light. As the years pass, I

appreciatehimmoreandmoreandcanonlypraythatIcanhavehalfasmuch

influenceontheyoungpeopleIcoachashehashadonme.”

KareemAbdul-Jabbar,HallofFamer:“ThewisdomofCoachWoodenhada

profoundinfluenceonmeasanathlete,butanevengreaterinfluenceonmeasa

humanbeing.Heisresponsible,inpart,forthepersonIamtoday.”

Listentothisstory.

It was the moment of victory. UCLA had just won its first national

championship.ButCoachWoodenwasworriedaboutFredSlaughter,a player

who had started every game and had had a brilliant year up until this final,

championshipgame.Thegamehadnotbeengoingwell,and,asitgotworseand

worse,Woodenfeltachangehadtomade.SohepulledFred.Thereplacement

playerdidagreatjob,andWoodenlefthiminuntilthegamewasvirtuallywon.

Thevictorywasapeakmoment.NotonlyhadtheyjustwontheirfirstNCAA

titlebybeatingDuke,buttheyhadendedtheseasonwiththirtywinsandzero

losses.YetWooden’sconcernforFreddampenedhiseuphoria.AsWoodenleft

thepressconferenceandwenttofindFred,heopenedthedoortothedressing

room.Fredwaswaitingforhim.“Coach…IwantyoutoknowIunderstand.You

hadtoleaveDougintherebecauseheplayedsowell,andIdidn’t.Iwantedto

playintheworstway,butIdounderstand,andifanyonesaysIwasupset,it’s

nottrue.Disappointed,yes,butupset,no.AndIwasveryhappyforDoug.”

“Therearecoachesoutthere,”Woodensays,“whohavewonchampionships

withthedictatorapproach, among them Vince Lombardi and BobbyKnight.I

had a different philosophy….For me, concern, compassion, and consideration

werealwaysprioritiesofthehighestorder.”

Read the story of Fred Slaughter again and you tell me whether, under the

samecircumstances,CoachKnightwouldhaverushedtoconsoleDarylThomas.

And would Knight have allowed Thomas to reach down to find his pride,

dignity,andgenerosityinhismomentofdisappointment?

WhichIstheEnemy:SuccessorFailure?

PatSummittwasthecoachoftheTennesseewomen’sbasketballteam,theLady

Vols.Shecoachedthemtoeightnationalchampionships.Shedidn’tcomeinto

thegamewithWooden’sphilosophicalattitude,butwasatfirstmoreKnight-like

inherstance.Everytimetheteamlost,shecouldn’tletgoofit.Shecontinuedto

liveit,beatingittodeathand torturingherselfandthe teamwithit.Thenshe

graduatedtoalove–haterelationshipwithlosing.Emotionally,itstillmadeher

feelsick.Butshelovedwhatitdid.Itforceseveryone,playersandcoaches,to

developamorecompletegame.Itwassuccessthathadbecometheenemy.

Woodencallsitbeing“infected”withsuccess.PatRiley,formercoachofthe

championshipLosAngelesLakersteam,callsitthe“diseaseofme”—thinking

youarethesuccess,andchuckingthedisciplineandtheworkthatgotyouthere.

Summitt explained, “Success lulls you. It makes the most ambitious of us

complacent and sloppy.” As Summitt spoke, Tennessee had won five NCAA

Championships,butonlyoncewhentheywerefavoredtowin.“Oneveryother

occasion,wewereupset.We’velostasmanyasfourorfivetitlesthatwewere

predictedtowin.”

After the 1996 championship, the team was complacent. The older players

were the national champions, and the new players expected to be swept to

victorymerelybybeingatTennessee.Itwasadisaster.Theybegantoloseand

losebadly.OnDecember15,theywerecrushedbyStanfordontheirownhome

court.Afewgameslater,theywerecrushedagain.Nowtheyhadfivelossesand

everyonehadgivenuponthem.TheNorthCarolinacoach,meaningtocomfort

Summitt,toldher,“Well,justhang in there ’til next year.” HBO had come to

Tennessee to film a documentary, but now the producers were looking for

anotherteam.Evenherassistantswerethinkingtheywouldn’tmakeitintothe

Marchchampionshipplay-offs.

So before the next game, Summitt met with the team for five hours. That

night,theyplayedOldDominion,thesecond-rankedteaminthecountry.Forthe

firsttimethatseason,theygaveall.Buttheylostagain.Itwasdevastating.They

hadinvested,goneforit,andstilllost.Someweresobbingsohard,theycouldn’t

speak,orevenbreathe.“Getyourheadsup,”Summitttoldthem.“Ifyougive

effortlikethisallthetime,ifyoufightlikethis,I’mtellingyou,Ipromiseyou,

we’llbethereinMarch.”Twomonthslatertheywerethenationalchampions.

Conclusion?Bewareofsuccess.Itcanknockyouintoafixedmindset:“Iwon

becauseIhavetalent.ThereforeIwillkeepwinning.”Successcaninfectateam

oritcaninfectanindividual.AlexRodriguez,thebaseballstar,wasnotinfected

withsuccess.“Youneverstaythesame,”hesays.“Youeithergoonewayor

theother.”

FALSEGROWTHMINDSET

Ihaveseenmanyparents,teachers,andcoachesapplygrowth-mindsetconcepts

inthemostspectacularways,withwonderfulresults.Usingmindsetprinciples,

manyschoolsandsportsteamshaverisentothetop—they’vebeenrecognized

fortheiroutstandingcultureoflearning(andteamwork)andfortheirexceptional

achievements.Needlesstosay,thishasbeenextremelygratifying.

Then, a couple of years ago, my colleague in Australia, Susan Mackie, told

meshewasseeinganoutbreak—of“falsegrowthmindset.”Ididn’tknowwhat

she was talking about. In fact, I was a bit irritated. Isn’t a growth mindset a

prettysimpleandstraightforwardidea?Whywouldanyonehaveafalsegrowth

mindsetiftheycouldhavearealone?

Butshehadplantedtheseed,andasIwentaboutmybusiness,Isoonrealized

what she meant. Some parents, teachers, and coaches were indeed

misunderstanding the mindset ideas. All at once I became determined to

understand their misunderstandings and to figure out how to correct them. So

let’s take a closer look at 1) what a growth mindset is and is not, 2) how to

achieveit,and3)howtopassitontoothers.

WhataGrowthMindsetIsandIsNot

Agrowthmindsetisaboutbelievingpeoplecandeveloptheirabilities.It’sthat

simple. It can have many repercussions, but that’s what it is at its core.

Nonetheless,manypeopleprojectadifferentmeaningontoit.

Misunderstanding#1.Manypeopletakewhattheylikeaboutthemselvesand

callita“growthmindset.”Ifthey’reopen-mindedorflexible,theysaytheyhave

agrowthmindset.Ioftenhearpeoplecallingitan“openmindset.”Butthere’sa

difference between being flexible or open-minded and being dedicated to

growingtalent.Andifpeopledriftawayfromtheactualmeaning of a growth

mindset,theydriftawayfromitsbenefits.Theycanbaskintheirownwonderful

qualitiesbuttheymayneverdothehardworkofcultivatingtheirownabilities

ortheabilitiesoftheirchildrenorstudents.

Misunderstanding #2. Many people believe that a growth mindset is only

about effort, especially praising effort. I talked earlier about how praising the

process children engage in—their hard work, strategies, focus, perseverance—

can foster a growth mindset. In this way, children learn that the process they

engage in brings about progress and learning, and that their learning does not

justmagicallyflowfromsomeinnateability.

Thefirstimportantthingtorememberhereisthattheprocessincludesmore

thanjusteffort.Certainly,wewantchildrentoappreciatethefruitsofhardwork.

But we also want them to understand the importance of trying new strategies

whentheonethey’reusingisn’tworking.(Wedon’twantthemtojusttryharder

withthesameineffectivestrategy.)Andwewantthemtoaskforhelporinput

fromotherswhenit’sneeded.Thisistheprocesswe wantthemtoappreciate:

hardwork,tryingnewstrategies,andseekinginputfromothers.

Anotherpitfallispraisingeffort(oranypartoftheprocess)that’snotthere.

Morethanonce,parentshavesaidtome,“Ipraisemychild’seffortbutit’snot

working.”Iimmediatelyask,“Wasyourchildactuallytryinghard?”“Well,not

really,”comesthesheepishreply.Weshouldneverthinkthatpraisingaprocess

thatisnottherewillbringgoodresults.

But a problem that’s of even greater concern to me is the fact that some

teachersandcoachesareusingeffortpraiseasaconsolationprizewhenkidsare

notlearning.Ifastudenthastriedhardandmadelittleornoprogress,wecanof

courseappreciatetheireffort,butweshouldneverbecontentwitheffortthatis

not yielding further benefits. We need to figure out why that effort is not

effectiveandguidekidstowardotherstrategiesandresourcesthatcanhelpthem

resumelearning.

Recently,someoneaskedme,“Whatkeepsyouupatnight?”AndIsaid,“It’s

the fear that the mindset concept will be used to make kids feel good when

they’re not learning—just like the failed self-esteem movement.” The growth

mindsetismeanttohelpkidslearn,nottopaperoverthefactthattheyarenot

learning.

Finally,whenpeoplerealizeI’mthemindsetperson,theyoftensay,“Oh,yea!

Praise the process not the outcome, right?” Well, not quite. This is such a

common misconception. In all of our research on praise, we indeed praise the

process,butwetieittotheoutcome,thatis,tochildren’slearning,progress,or

achievements.Childrenneedtounderstandthatengaginginthatprocesshelped

themlearn.

Notlongago,amothertoldmehowveryfrustratingitwasthatshewasnot

allowed to praise her daughter when the child did something wonderful—that

shecouldonlypraiseherwhenshewasstruggling.No!No!No!Ofcourseyou

can appreciate your children’s wonderful accomplishments, but then tie those

accomplishmentstotheprocesstheyengagedin.

And remember, we don’t have to always be praising. Inquiring about the

child’sprocessandjustshowinginterestinitgoesaverylongway.

Misunderstanding #3. A growth mindset equals telling kids they can do

anything.Many’sthetimeI’veheardeducatorssay,“I’vealwayshadagrowth

mindset.Ialwaystellmystudents,‘Youcandoanything!’ ”Fewpeoplebelieve

inchildren’spotentialasmuchasIdo,oryearn toseeallchildrenfulfilltheir

enormouspromise.Butitdoesn’thappenbysimplytellingthem,“Youcando

anything.”Ithappensbyhelpingthemgaintheskillsandfindtheresourcesto

makeprogresstowardtheirgoals.Otherwise,it’sanemptyreassurance.Itputs

theonus entirelyon the student and may make them feel like a failure if they

don’treachtheirgoals.

One final word about putting the onus on the student. It broke my heart to

learn that some educators and coaches were blaming kids for having a fixed

mindset—scolding or criticizing them for not displaying growth-mindset

qualities. Notice that these adults were absolving themselves of the

responsibility, not only for teaching a growth mindset but also for the child’s

learning:“Ican’tteachthischild.Hehasafixedmindset.”Let’sbetotallyclear

here. We as educators must take seriously our responsibility to create growth-

mindset-friendlyenvironments—wherekidsfeelsafefromjudgment,wherethey

understandthatwebelieveintheirpotentialtogrow,andwheretheyknowthat

wearetotallydedicatedtocollaboratingwiththemontheirlearning.Wearein

thebusinessofhelpingkidsthrive,notfindingreasonswhytheycan’t.

HowDoYouGeta(True)GrowthMindset?

Youdon’tgetagrowthmindsetbyproclamation.Youmovetowarditbytaking

ajourney.

Asagrowthmindsetgainedcurrencyandbecamethe“correct”waytothink

in some quarters, more and more people claimed to have it. It sort of makes

sense. Don’t we all want to see ourselves as enlightened people who help

children fulfill their potential? A noted educator told me that it had become

politically incorrect for educators to even talk about (and maybe even think

about)havingafixedmindsetinanyarea.Andaprincipaltoldmethathewas

recently giving some mild suggestions to a teacher when she looked at him

indignantlyandsaid,“AreyouimplyingIhaveafixedmindset?”

Although for simplicity I’ve talked as though some people have a growth

mindsetandsomepeoplehaveafixedmindset,intruthwe’reallamixtureofthe

two. There’s no point denying it. Sometimes we’re in one mindset and

sometimeswe’reintheother.Ourtaskthenbecomestounderstandwhattriggers

ourfixedmindset.Whataretheeventsorsituationsthattakeustoaplacewhere

we feel our (or other people’s) abilities are fixed? What are the events or

situations that take us to a place of judgment rather than to a place of

development?

What happens when our fixed-mindset “persona” shows up—the character

within who warns us to avoid challenges and beats us up when we fail at

something? How does that persona make us feel? What does it make us think

andhowdoesitmakeusact?Howdothosethoughts,feelings,andactionsaffect

usandthosearoundus?And,mostimportant,whatcanwedoovertimetokeep

thatpersonafrominterferingwithourgrowthandthatofourchildren?Howcan

we persuade that fixed-mindset persona to get on board with the goals that

springfromourgrowthmindset?

I’lladdressthesequestionsinthefinalchapterasweexaminetheprocessof

personalchange.WhatIwillemphasizehereisthatitisalongjourney,onethat

takescommitment andpersistence.Butonceweacknowledgethatwe allhave

recurrentfixedmindsets,wecantalktooneanotheropenly.Wecantalkabout

our fixed-mindset personas, when they show up, how they affect us, and how

we’relearningtodealwiththem.Andaswedo,wewillrealizethatwehavelots

offellowtravelersonourjourney.

HowDoYouPassaGrowthMindsetOn?

Youwouldthinkthatonceadultsadoptedmoreofagrowthmindsettheywould

automatically pass it on to kids. It would simply ooze out in their words and

deeds.That’swhatwethought,butit’snotwhatwe’refinding.Manyadultsare

notpassingontheirgrowthmindsets.Howisthatpossible?

First, let’s look at the findings. In a number of studies, we and researchers

lookedatthemindsetsofparentsandtheirchildren.Ineachcase,manyparents

held a growth mindset, but they were not necessarily passing it on to their

children. In other studies, researchers looked at the mindsets of teachers and

theirstudents.Ineachcase,manyteachersheldagrowthmindset,buttheywere

notnecessarilypassingitontotheirstudents.Somethingelsewasgoingon.

Ofcourse,it’spossiblethatsomeoftheseparentsorteachershadfalsegrowth

mindsets. But beyond that, we’re finding something fascinating. Adults’

mindsetsareintheirheadsandarenotdirectlyvisibletochildren.Adults’overt

actions speak far louder, and this is what children are picking up on.

Unfortunately, these actions often don’t line up with the growth mindsets in

adults’heads.Sowhataretheactionsthatconveythedifferentmindsets?

First, no surprise, it’s the praise. Parents’ praise molds their children’s

mindsets. It’s interesting that this doesn’t necessarily line up with the parents’

mindsets.Evenparentswhoholdagrowthmindsetcanfindthemselvespraising

theirchild’sability—andneglectingtofocusontheirchild’slearningprocess.It

can be hard to shake the idea that telling kids they’re smart will build their

confidence.

Second,it’sthewayadultsrespondtochildren’smistakesorfailures.Whena

childhasasetbackandtheparentreactswithanxietyorwithconcernaboutthe

child’sability,thisfostersmoreofafixedmindsetinthechild.Theparentmay

trytoglossoverthechild’sfailurebuttheveryactofdoingsomayconveythat

the failure is an issue. So, although parents may hold a growth mindset, they

maystilldisplayworryabouttheirchild’sconfidenceormoralewhenthechild

stumbles.

It’stheparentswhorespondtotheirchildren’ssetbackswithinterestandtreat

themasopportunitiesforlearningwhoaretransmittingagrowthmindsettotheir

children.Theseparentsthinksetbacksaregoodthingsthatshouldbeembraced,

and that setbacks should be used as a platform for learning. They address the

setbackhead-onandtalktotheirchildrenaboutthenextstepsforlearning.

In other words, every single day parents are teaching their children whether

mistakes,obstacles,andsetbacksarebadthingsorgoodthings.Theparentswho

treatthem asgoodthingsaremore likelytopassona growthmindsettotheir

children.

Third,passingonagrowthmindsetisaboutwhetherteachersareteachingfor

understanding or are simply asking students to memorize facts, rules, and

procedures. Research is showing that when teachers care about deeper

understandingandworkwithstudentstoachieveit,thenstudentsaremorelikely

tobelievethattheirabilitiescanbedeveloped.Onestudyfoundthatwhenmath

teachers taught for conceptual understanding, gave feedback that deepened

students’ understanding, and then allowed students to revise their work (to

experienceandshowtheirdeeperunderstanding),theirstudentsmovedtowarda

growthmindsetinmath.Thesestudentsbelievedtheycoulddeveloptheirbasic

mathematicalability.

Ontheother hand, when teachersthoughtof math asjustaset of rules and

procedures to memorize, they could emphasize the importance of effort or

persistence,butstudentscouldnotfeeltheirabilitiesgrowinganddidnottendto

move toward a growth mindset. By the way, many of these teachers used the

words“growthmindset”intheirclassrooms,buttheirteachingmethods—their

actions—didnotfosterthatgrowthmindsetintheirstudents.

Otherstudiespaintasimilarpicture.Inonestudy,highschoolstudentstalked

abouttheirmath teachers.Someof them saidthatwhen theywerestuck,their

teacher sat down with them and said things like this: “Show me what you’ve

done,let’strytounderstandhowyou’rethinking,andthenlet’sfigureoutwhat

you should try next.” The students who were treated like this—as though

understandingwasofparamountimportanceandcouldbeachievedwithsupport

fromtheteacher—weremovingtowardagrowthmindsetinmath.

Yetinthiseraofhigh-stakestesting,muchteachingemphasizesmemorization

of facts, rules, and procedures to “insure” that students do well on the all-

important tests. As we have seen, this may promote more fixed mindsets and

perhaps,ironically,underminestudents’performanceontheseverytests.There

isnothinglikedeeplearningtoinsuregoodoutcomes.

Sadly,inthis atmosphere manystudentsarecoming to equate learningwith

memorizing. I am hearing from many researchers and educators that students

across the economic spectrum are becoming increasingly unable to grasp the

difference between memorizing facts, rules, and procedures and truly

understandingtheconceptsunderlyingthematerial.Asidefromthebadnewsfor

growth mindsets, this also has disturbing implications for our nation. Great

contributionstosocietyarebornofcuriosityanddeepunderstanding.Ifstudents

nolongerrecognizeandvaluedeeplearning,wherewillthegreatcontributions

ofthefuturecomefrom?

—

Wewereinitiallysurprisedtofindthatmanyadultswithgrowthmindsetswere

notpassingthemon.However,themoralofthisstoryisthatparents,teachers,

and coaches pass on a growth mindset not by having a belief sitting in their

heads but by embodying a growth mindset in their deeds: the way they praise

(conveyingtheprocessesthatleadtolearning),thewaytheytreatsetbacks(as

opportunitiesforlearning),andthewaytheyfocusondeepeningunderstanding

(asthegoaloflearning).

OURLEGACY

Asparents,teachers,andcoaches,weareentrustedwithpeople’slives.Theyare

ourresponsibilityandourlegacy.Wenowknowthatthegrowthmindsethasa

keyroletoplayinhelpingusfulfillourmissionandinhelpingthemfulfilltheir

potential.

GrowYourMindset

• Everywordandactionfromparenttochildsendsamessage.

Tomorrow,listentowhatyousaytoyourkidsandtuneinto

themessagesyou’resending.Aretheymessagesthatsay:You

havepermanenttraitsandI’mjudgingthem?Orarethey

messagesthatsayYou’readevelopingpersonandI’m

interestedinyourdevelopment?

• Howdoyouusepraise?Rememberthatpraisingchildren’s

intelligenceortalent,temptingasitis,sendsafixed-mindset

message.Itmakestheirconfidenceandmotivationmore

fragile.Instead,trytofocusontheprocessestheyused—their

strategies,effort,orchoices.Practiceworkingtheprocess

praiseintoyourinteractionswithyourchildren.

• Watchandlistentoyourselfcarefullywhenyourchildmesses

up.Rememberthatconstructivecriticismisfeedbackthat

helpsthechildunderstandhowtofixsomething.It’snot

feedbackthatlabelsorsimplyexcusesthechild.Attheendof

eachday,writedowntheconstructivecriticism(andthe

processpraise)you’vegivenyourkids.

• Parentsoftensetgoalstheirchildrencanworktoward.

Rememberthathavinginnatetalentisnotagoal.Expanding

skillsandknowledgeis.Paycarefulattentiontothegoalsyou

setforyourchildren.

• Ifyou’reateacher,rememberthatloweringstandardsdoesn’t

raisestudents’self-esteem.Butneitherdoesraisingstandards

withoutgivingstudentswaysofreachingthem.Thegrowth

mindsetgivesyouawaytosethighstandardsandhave

studentsreachthem.Trypresentingtopicsinagrowth

frameworkandgivingstudentsprocessfeedback.Ithink

you’lllikewhathappens.

• Doyouthinkofyourslowerstudentsaskidswhowillnever

beabletolearnwell?Dotheythinkofthemselvesas

permanentlydumb?Instead,trytofigureoutwhattheydon’t

understandandwhatlearningstrategiestheydon’thave.

Rememberthatgreatteachersbelieveinthegrowthoftalent

andintellect,andarefascinatedbytheprocessoflearning.

• Areyouafixed-mindsetcoach?Doyouthinkfirstand

foremostaboutyourrecordandyourreputation?Areyou

intolerantofmistakes?Doyoutrytomotivateyourplayers

throughjudgment?Thatmaybewhat’sholdingupyour

athletes.

Tryonthegrowthmindset.Insteadofaskingformistake-

freegames,askforfullcommitmentandfulleffort.Insteadof

judging the players, give them the respect and the coaching

theyneedtodevelop.

• Asparents,teachers,andcoaches,ourmissionisdeveloping

people’spotential.Let’suseallthelessonsofthegrowth

mindset—andwhateverelsewecan—todothis.

Chapter8

CHANGINGMINDSETS

Thegrowthmindsetisbasedonthebeliefinchange,andthemostgratifyingpart

ofmyworkiswatchingpeoplechange.Nothingisbetterthanseeingpeoplefind

theirwaytothingstheyvalue.Thischapterisaboutkidsandadultswhofound

theirwaytousingtheirabilities.Andabouthowallofuscandothat.

THENATUREOFCHANGE

Iwasinthemiddleoffirstgradewhenmyfamilymoved.SuddenlyIwasina

newschool.Everythingwasunfamiliar—theteacher,thestudents,andthework.

Theworkwaswhatterrifiedme.Thenewclasswaswayaheadofmyoldone,or

atleastitseemedthatwaytome.TheywerewritinglettersIhadn’tlearnedto

writeyet.Andtherewasawaytodoeverythingthateveryoneseemedtoknow

exceptme.Sowhentheteachersaid,“Class,putyournameonyourpaperinthe

rightplace,”Ihadnoideawhatshemeant.

SoIcried.EachdaythingscameupthatIdidn’tknowhowtodo.Eachtime,I

feltlostandoverwhelmed.Whydidn’tIjust sayto theteacher, “Mrs.Kahn, I

haven’tlearnedthisyet.Couldyoushowmehow?”

Another time when I was little, my parents gave me money to go to the

movieswithanadultandagroupofkids.AsIroundedthecornertothemeeting

place,Ilookeddowntheblockandsawthemallleaving.Butinsteadofrunning

afterthemandyelling,“Waitforme!”Istoodfrozen,clutchingthecoinsinmy

handandwatchingthemrecedeintothedistance.

Whydidn’tItrytostopthemorcatchupwiththem?WhydidIacceptdefeat

before I had tried some simple tactics? I know that in my dreams I had often

performed magical or superhuman feats in the face of danger. I even have a

pictureofmyselfinmyself-madeSupermancape.Why,inreallife,couldn’tI

doanordinarythinglikeaskforhelporcalloutforpeopletowait?

In my work, I see lots of young children like this—bright, seemingly

resourcefulchildrenwhoareparalyzedbysetbacks.Insomeofourstudies,they

justhavetotakethesimplestactiontomakethingsbetter.Buttheydon’t.These

aretheyoungchildrenwiththefixedmindset.Whenthingsgowrong,theyfeel

powerlessandincapable.

Evennow,whensomethinggoeswrongorwhensomethingpromisingseems

to be slipping away, I still have a passing feeling of powerlessness. Does that

meanIhaven’tchanged?

No,itmeansthatchangeisn’tlikesurgery.Evenwhen you change, the old

beliefsaren’tjustremovedlikeaworn-outhiporkneeandreplacedwithbetter

ones.Instead,thenewbeliefstaketheirplacealongsidetheoldones,andasthey

becomestronger,theygiveyouadifferentwaytothink,feel,andact.

BeliefsAretheKeytoHappiness(andtoMisery)

In the 1960s, psychiatrist Aaron Beck was working with his clients when he

suddenly realized it was their beliefs that were causing their problems. Just

before they felt a wave of anxiety or depression, something quickly flashed

throughtheirminds.Itcouldbe:“Dr.BeckthinksI’mincompetent.”Or“This

therapy will never work. I’ll never feel better.” These kinds of beliefs caused

theirnegativefeelingsnotonlyinthetherapysession,butintheirlives,too.

They weren’t beliefs people were usually conscious of. Yet Beck found he

couldteachpeople to pay attentionandhear them. And thenhediscoveredhe

could teach them how to work with and change these beliefs. This is how

cognitivetherapywasborn,oneofthemosteffectivetherapieseverdeveloped.

Whether they’re aware of it or not, all people keep a running account of

what’s happening to them, what it means, and what they should do. In other

words,ourmindsareconstantlymonitoringandinterpreting.That’sjusthowwe

stayontrack.Butsometimestheinterpretationprocessgoesawry.Somepeople

put more extreme interpretations on things that happen—and then react with

exaggeratedfeelingsofanxiety,depression,oranger.Orsuperiority.

MindsetsGoFurther

Mindsetsframetherunningaccountthat’stakingplaceinpeople’sheads.They

guide the whole interpretation process. The fixed mindset creates an internal

monologuethatis focusedonjudging: “ThismeansI’ma loser.”“Thismeans

I’m a better person than they are.” “This means I’m a bad husband.” “This

meansmypartnerisselfish.”

Inseveralstudies,weprobedthewaypeoplewithafixedmindsetdealtwith

informationtheywerereceiving.Wefoundthattheyputaverystrongevaluation

on each and every piece of information. Something good led to a very strong

positivelabelandsomethingbadledtoaverystrongnegativelabel.

Peoplewithagrowthmindsetarealsoconstantlymonitoringwhat’sgoingon,

buttheirinternalmonologueisnotaboutjudgingthemselvesandothersinthis

way.Certainlythey’resensitivetopositiveandnegativeinformation,butthey’re

attunedtoitsimplicationsforlearningandconstructiveaction:WhatcanIlearn

fromthis?HowcanIimprove?HowcanIhelpmypartnerdothisbetter?

Now, cognitive therapy basically teaches people to rein in their extreme

judgmentsand make them more reasonable. For example, suppose Alana does

poorly on a test and draws the conclusion, “I’m stupid.” Cognitive therapy

wouldteachhertolookmorecloselyatthefactsbyasking:Whatistheevidence

for and against your conclusion? Alana may, after prodding, come up with a

long list of ways in which she has been competent in the past, and may then

confess,“IguessI’mnotasincompetentasIthought.”

She may also be encouraged to think of reasons she did poorly on the test

otherthanstupidity,andthesemayfurthertemperhernegativejudgment.Alana

is then taught how to do this for herself, so that when she judges herself

negativelyinthefuture,shecanrefutethejudgmentandfeelbetter.

Inthisway,cognitivetherapyhelpspeoplemakemorerealisticandoptimistic

judgments.But it does not take them out of the fixed mindset and its world of

judgment. It does not confront the basic assumption—the idea that traits are

fixed—thatiscausingthemtoconstantlymeasurethemselves.Inotherwords,it

doesnotescortthemoutoftheframeworkofjudgmentandintotheframework

ofgrowth.

Thischapterisaboutchangingtheinternalmonologuefromajudgingonetoa

growth-orientedone.

THEMINDSETLECTURES

Justlearningaboutthegrowthmindsetcancauseabigshiftinthewaypeople

thinkaboutthemselvesandtheirlives.

Soeachyearinmyundergraduatecourse,Iteachaboutthesemindsets—not

only because they are part of the topic of the course but also because I know

whatpressurethesestudentsareunder.Everyyear,studentsdescribetomehow

theseideashavechangedtheminallareasoftheirlives.

HereisMaggie,theaspiringwriter:

Irecognized thatwhenit comestoartisticorcreative endeavorsI

had internalized a fixed mindset. I believed that people were

inherently artistic or creative and that you could not improve

througheffort.ThisdirectlyaffectedmylifebecauseIhavealways

wanted to be a writer, but have been afraid to pursue any writing

classesortosharemycreativewritingwithothers.Thisisdirectly

relatedto mymindsetbecauseanynegativecriticismwould mean

thatIamnotawriterinherently.Iwastooscaredtoexposemyself

tothepossibilitythatImightnotbea“natural.”

Nowafterlisteningtoyourlectures,Ihavedecidedtoregisterfor

acreativewritingclassnextterm.AndIfeelthatIhavereallycome

to understand what was preventing me from pursuing an interest

that has long been my secret dream. I really feel this information

hasempoweredme!

Maggie’s internal monologue used to say: Don’t do it. Don’t take a writing

class.Don’tshareyourwritingwithothers.It’snotworththerisk.Yourdream

couldbedestroyed.Protectit.

Now it says: Go for it. Make it happen. Develop your skills. Pursue your

dream.

Andhere’sJason,theathlete:

As a student athlete at Columbia I had exclusively the fixed

mindset. Winning was everything and learning did not enter the

picture.However,afterlisteningtoyourlectures,Irealizedthatthis

is not a good mindset. I’ve been working on learning while I

compete, under the realization that if I can continually improve,

eveninmatches,Iwillbecomeamuchbetterathlete.

Jason’s internal monologue used to be: Win. Win. You have to win. Prove

yourself.Everythingdependsonit.

Nowit’s:Observe.Learn.Improve.Becomeabetterathlete.

Andfinally,here’sTony,therecoveringgenius:

InhighschoolIwasabletogettopgradeswithminimalstudying

andsleeping.IcametobelievethatitwouldalwaysbesobecauseI

was naturally gifted with a superior understanding and memory.

However,afteraboutayearofsleepdeprivationmyunderstanding

andmemorybegantonotbesosuperioranymore.Whenmynatural

talents,whichIhadcometodependonalmostentirelyformyself-

esteem(asopposedtomyabilitytofocus,mydeterminationormy

abilitytoworkhard),cameintoquestion,Iwentthroughapersonal

crisis that lasted until a few weeks ago when you discussed the

differentmindsetsinclass.Understandingthatalotofmyproblems

were the result of my preoccupation with proving myself to be

“smart” and avoiding failures has really helped me get out of the

self-destructivepatternIwaslivingin.

Tony’s internal monologue went from: I’m naturally gifted. I don’t need to

study.Idon’tneedtosleep.I’msuperior.

To:Uh-oh,I’mlosingit.Ican’tunderstandthings,Ican’trememberthings.

WhatamInow?

To: Don’t worry so much about being smart. Don’t worry so much about

avoiding failures. That becomes self-destructive. Let’s start to study and sleep

andgetonwithlife.

Ofcourse,thesepeoplewillhavesetbacksanddisappointments,andsticking

tothegrowthmindsetmaynotalwaysbeeasy.Butjustknowingitgave them

another way to be. Instead of being held captive by some intimidating fantasy

about the Great Writer, the Great Athlete, or the Great Genius, the growth

mindsetgavethemcouragetoembracetheirowngoalsanddreams.Andmore

important,itgavethemawaytoworktowardmakingthemreal.

AMINDSETWORKSHOP

Adolescence, as we’ve seen, is a time when hordes of kids turn off to school.

You can almost hear the stampede as they try to get as far from learning as

possible.Thisisatimewhenstudentsarefacingsomeofthebiggestchallenges

of their young lives, and a time when they are heavily evaluating themselves,

oftenwitha fixedmindset.It is preciselythekids withthefixedmindset who

panicandrunforcover,showingplummetingmotivationandgrades.

Over the past few years, we’ve developed a workshop for these students. It

teachesthemthegrowthmindsetandhowtoapplyittotheirschoolwork.Here

ispartofwhatthey’retold:

Many people think of the brain as a mystery. They don’t know

much about intelligence and how it works. When they do think

about what intelligence is, many people believe that a person is

born either smart, average, or dumb—and stays that way for life.

But new research shows that the brain is more like a muscle—it

changesandgetsstrongerwhenyouuseit.Andscientistshavebeen

abletoshowjusthowthebraingrowsandgetsstrongerwhenyou

learn.

We then describe how the brain forms new connections and “grows” when

peoplepracticeandlearnnewthings.

When you learn new things, these tiny connections in the brain

actually multiply and get stronger. The more that you challenge

your mind to learn, the more your brain cells grow. Then, things

thatyouoncefoundveryhardorevenimpossible—likespeakinga

foreign language or doing algebra—seem to become easy. The

resultisastronger,smarterbrain.

Wegoontopointoutthatnobodylaughsatbabiesandsayshowdumbthey

are because they can’t talk. They just haven’t learned yet. We show students

picturesofhowthedensityofbrainconnectionschangesduringthefirstyearsof

lifeasbabiespayattention,studytheirworld,andlearnhowtodothings.

Over a series of sessions, through activities and discussions, students are

taughtstudyskillsandshownhowtoapplythelessonsofthegrowthmindsetto

theirstudyingandtheirschoolwork.

Studentslovelearningaboutthebrain,andthediscussionsareverylively.But

evenmore rewardingare thecomments studentsmake aboutthemselves. Let’s

revisitJimmy,thehard-coreturned-offstudentfromchapter3.Inourveryfirst

workshop,wewereamazedtohearhimsaywithtearsinhiseyes:“YoumeanI

don’thavetobedumb?”

You may think these students are turned off, but I saw that they never stop

caring.Nobodygetsusedtofeelingdumb.OurworkshoptoldJimmy,“You’re

inchargeofyourmind.Youcanhelpitgrowbyusingitintherightway.”And

astheworkshopprogressed,hereiswhatJimmy’steachersaidabouthim:

Jimmy,whoneverputsinanyextraeffortandoftendoesn’tturnin

homework on time, actually stayed up late working for hours to

finish an assignment early so I could review it and give him a

chancetoreviseit.HeearnedaB+ontheassignment(hehadbeen

gettingC’sandlower).

Incidentally,teachersweren’tjusttryingtobenicetousbytellinguswhatwe

wanted to hear. The teachers didn’t know who was in our growth-mindset

workshop.Thiswasbecausewehadanotherworkshoptoo.Thisworkshopmet

just as many times, and taught them even more study skills. And students got

justasmuchpersonalattentionfromsupportivetutors.Buttheydidn’tlearnthe

growthmindsetandhowtoapplyit.

Teachersdidn’tknowwhichoftheirstudentswenttowhichoftheworkshops,

buttheystillsingledoutJimmyandmanyofthestudentsinthegrowth-mindset

workshoptotellusthatthey’dseenrealchangesintheirmotivationtolearnand

improve.

LatelyIhavenoticedthatsomestudentshaveagreaterappreciation

for improvement….R. was performing below standards….He has

learned to appreciate the improvement from his grades of 52, 46,

and 49 to his grades of 67 and 71….He valued his growth in

learningMathematics.

M. was far below grade level. During the past several weeks, she

has voluntarily asked for extra help from me during her lunch

periodinordertoimprovehertest-takingperformance.Hergrades

drasticallyimprovedfromfailingtoan84onthemostrecentexam.

Positive changes in motivation and behavior are noticeable in K.

andJ.Theyhavebeguntoworkhardonaconsistentbasis.

Several students have voluntarily participated in peer tutoring

sessionsduringtheirlunchperiodsorafterschool.Studentssuchas

N.andS.werepassingwhentheyrequestedtheextrahelpandwere

motivatedbytheprospectofsheerimprovement.

We were eager to see whether the workshop affected students’ grades, so,

with their permission, we looked at students’ final marks at the end of the

semester. We looked especially at their math grades, since these reflected real

learningofchallengingnewconcepts.

Before the workshops, students’ math grades had been suffering badly. But

afterward,loandbehold,studentswho’dbeeninthegrowth-mindsetworkshop

showed a jump in their grades. They were now clearly doing better than the

studentswho’dbeenintheotherworkshop.

Thegrowth-mindsetworkshop—justeightsessions long—hadarealimpact.

Thisoneadjustmentofstudents’beliefsseemedtounleashtheirbrainpowerand

inspirethemtoworkandachieve.Ofcourse,theywere in a school where the

teacherswereresponsivetotheiroutpouringofmotivation,andwerewillingto

putintheextraworktohelpthemlearn.Evenso,thesefindingsshowthepower

ofchangingmindsets.

The students in the other workshop did not improve. Despite their eight

sessionsoftraininginstudyskillsandothergoodthings,theyshowednogains.

Becausethey werenottaughttothinkdifferentlyabouttheirminds, theywere

notmotivatedtoputtheskillsintopractice.

Themindsetworkshopputstudentsinchargeoftheirbrains.Freedfromthe

viseofthefixedmindset,Jimmyandotherslikehimcouldnowusetheirminds

morefreelyandfully.

BRAINOLOGY

Theproblemwiththeworkshopwasthatitrequiredabigstafftodeliverit.This

wouldn’t be feasible on a large scale. Plus, the teachers weren’t directly

involved.Theycouldbeabigfactorinhelpingtosustainthestudents’gains.So

we decided to put our workshop on interactive computer modules and have

teachersguidetheirclassesthroughthemodules.

Withtheadviceofeducationalexperts,mediaexperts,andbrainexperts,we

developedthe“Brainology”™program.Itpresentsanimatedfigures,Chrisand

Dahlia—seventh graders who are cool but are having problems with their

schoolwork.DahliaishavingtroublewithSpanish,andChriswithmath.They

visitthelabofDr.Cerebrus,aslightlymadbrainscientist,whoteachesthemall

aboutthebrainandthecareandfeedingofit.Heteachesthemwhattodofor

maximum performance from the brain (like sleeping enough, eating the right

things, and using good study strategies) and he teaches them how the brain

grows as they learn. The program, all along, shows students how Chris and

Dahlia apply these lessons to their schoolwork. The interactive portions allow

studentstodobrainexperiments,seevideosofrealstudentswiththeirproblems

andstudystrategies,recommendstudyplansforChrisandDahlia,andkeepa

journaloftheirownproblemsandstudyplans.

Herearesomeoftheseventhgraderswritingabouthowthisprogramchanged

them:

After Brainology, I now have a new look at things. Now, my

attitude towards the subjects I have trouble in [is] I try harder to

study and master the skills….I have been using my time more

wisely,studying everydayandreviewing thenotesthat Itookon

that day. I am really glad that I joined this program because it

increasedmyintelligenceaboutthebrain.

Ididchange my mindabouthowthe brainworksandi do things

differently.i willtryharderbecauseiknowthatthe moreyoutry

themoreyourbrainworks.

ALLicansayisthatBrainologychangedmygrades.BonVoyage!

TheBrainologyprogramkindofmademechangethewayiwork

and study and practice for school work now that i know how my

brainworksandwhathappenswhenilearn.

Thankyou formaking usstudy moreandhelpingusbuildupour

brain!Iactuallypicturemyneurons growingbiggeras theymake

moreconnections.

Teachers told us how formerly turned-off students were now talking the

Brainologytalk.Forexample,theyweretaughtthatwhentheystudiedwelland

learnedsomething,theytransferreditfromtemporarystorage(workingmemory)

tomorepermanentstorage(long-termmemory).Nowtheyweresayingtoeach

other:“I’llhavetoputthatintomylong-termmemory.”“Sorry,thatstuffisnot

inmylong-termmemory.”“IguessIwasonlyusingmyworkingmemory.”

Teacherssaidthatstudentswerealsoofferingtopractice,study,takenotes,or

payattentionmoretomakesurethatneuralconnectionswouldbemade.Asone

studentsaid:

“Yesthe[B]rainologyprogramhelpedalot….EverytimeIthoughtaboutnot

doingworkIrememberedthatmyneuronscouldgrowifIdiddothework.”

Theteachersalsochanged.Notonlydidtheysaygreatthingsabouthowtheir

studentsbenefited,theyalsosaidgreatthingsabouttheinsightstheythemselves

hadgained.Inparticular,theysaidBrainologywasessentialforunderstanding:

“Thatallstudentscanlearn,eventheoneswhostrugglewithmathandwith

self-control.”

“ThatIhavetobemorepatientbecauselearningtakesagreatdealoftimeand

practice.”

“Howthebrainworks….Each learner learns differently.Brainologyassisted

meinteachingforvariouslearningstyles.”

Ourworkshopwenttochildrenintwentyschools.Somechildrenadmittedto

beingskepticalatfirst:“iusedtothinkitwasjustfreetimeandagoodcartoon

butistartedlisteningtoitandistarteddoingwhattheytoldmetodo.”Inthe

end,almostallchildrenreportedmeaningfulbenefits.

MOREABOUTCHANGE

Ischangeeasyorhard?Sofaritsoundseasy.Simplylearningaboutthegrowth

mindsetcansometimesmobilizepeopleformeetingchallengesandpersevering.

Theotherdayoneofmyformergradstudentstoldmeastory.Butfirstsome

background.Inmyfield,whenyousubmitaresearchpaperforpublication,that

paper often represents years of work. Some months later you receive your

reviews:tenorsopagesofcriticism—single-spaced.Iftheeditorstillthinksthe

paperhaspotential,youwillbeinvitedtoreviseitandresubmititprovidedyou

canaddresseverycriticism.

Mystudentremindedmeofthetimeshehadsentherthesisresearchtothetop

journalinourfield.Whenthereviewscameback,shewasdevastated.Shehad

beenjudged—theworkwasflawedand,byextension,sowasshe.Timepassed,

butshecouldn’tbringherselftogonearthereviewsagainorworkonthepaper.

Then I told her to change her mindset. “Look,” I said, “it’s not about you.

That’s their job. Their job is to find every possible flaw. Your job is to learn

from the critique and make your paper even better.” Within hours she was

revising her paper, which was warmly accepted. She tells me: “I never felt

judgedagain.Never.EverytimeIgetthatcritique,Itellmyself,‘Oh,that’stheir

job,’andIgettoworkimmediatelyonmyjob.”

Butchangeisalsohard.

Whenpeopleholdontoafixedmindset,it’softenforareason.Atsomepoint

intheirlivesitservedagoodpurposeforthem.Ittoldthemwhotheywereor

whotheywantedtobe(asmart,talentedchild)andittoldthemhowtobethat

(performwell).Inthisway,itprovidedaformulaforself-esteemandapathto

loveandrespectfromothers.

Theideathattheyareworthyandwillbelovediscrucialforchildren,and—if

achildisunsureaboutbeingvaluedorloved—thefixedmindsetappearstooffer

asimple,straightforwardroutetothis.

PsychologistsKarenHorneyandCarlRogers,workinginthemid-1900s,both

proposedtheoriesofchildren’semotionaldevelopment.Theybelievedthatwhen

young children feel insecure about being accepted by their parents, they

experiencegreatanxiety.Theyfeellostandaloneinacomplicatedworld.Since

they’reonlyafewyearsold,theycan’tsimplyrejecttheir parents and say, “I

think I’ll go it alone.” They have to find a way to feel safe and to win their

parentsover.

Both Horney and Rogers proposed that children do this by creating or

imagining other “selves,” ones that their parents might like better. These new

selvesarewhatthey thinkthe parentsare lookingfor andwhatmaywinthem

theparents’acceptance.

Often, these steps are good adjustments to the family situation at the time,

bringingthechildsomesecurityandhope.

Theproblemisthatthis new self—this all-competent, strong,goodselfthat

they now try to be—is likely to be a fixed-mindset self. Over time, the fixed

traitsmaycometobetheperson’ssenseofwhotheyare,andvalidatingthese

traitsmaycometobethemainsourceoftheirself-esteem.

Mindsetchangeaskspeopletogivethisup.Asyoucanimagine,it’snoteasy

tojustletgoofsomethingthathasfeltlikeyour“self”formanyyearsandthat

hasgivenyouyourroutetoself-esteem.Andit’sespeciallynoteasytoreplaceit

withamindsetthattellsyoutoembraceallthethingsthathavefeltthreatening:

challenge,struggle,criticism,setbacks.

When I was exchanging my fixed mindset for a growth one, I was acutely

aware of how unsettled I felt. For example, I’ve told you how as a fixed

mindsetter,Ikepttrackeachdayofallmysuccesses.Attheendofagoodday,I

could look at the results (the high numbers on my intelligence “counter,” my

personality“counter,”andsoon)andfeelgoodaboutmyself.ButasIadopteda

growthmindsetandstoppedkeepingtrack,somenightsIwouldstillcheckmy

mentalcountersandfindthematzero.Itmademeinsecurenottobeabletotote

upmyvictories.

Evenworse,sinceIwastakingmorerisks,Imightlookbackoverthedayand

seeallthemistakesandsetbacks.Andfeelmiserable.

What’smore,it’snotasthoughthefixedmindsetwantstoleavegracefully.If

thefixedmindsethasbeencontrollingyourinternalmonologue,itcansaysome

prettystrongthingstoyouwhenitseesthosecountersatzero:“You’renothing.”

It can make you want to rush right out and rack up some high numbers. The

fixedmindsetonceofferedyourefugefromthatveryfeeling,anditoffersitto

youagain.

Don’ttakeit.

Thenthere’stheconcernthatyouwon’tbeyourselfanymore.Itmayfeelas

thoughthefixedmindsetgaveyouyourambition,youredge,yourindividuality.

Maybeyoufearyou’llbecomeablandcoginthewheeljustlikeeveryoneelse.

Ordinary.

But opening yourself up to growth makes you more yourself, not less. The

growth-orientedscientists,artists,athletes,andCEOswe’velookedatwerefar

fromhumanoidsgoingthroughthemotions.Theywerepeopleinthefullflower

oftheirindividualityandpotency.

OPENINGYOURSELFUPTOGROWTH

Therestofthebookisprettymuchaboutyou.Firstaresomemindsetexercises

inwhichIaskyoutoventurewithmeintoaseriesofdilemmas.Ineachcase,

you’llfirstseethefixed-mindsetreactions,andthenworkthroughtoagrowth-

mindsetsolution.

TheFirstDilemma.Imagineyou’veappliedtograduateschool.Youappliedtojust

one place because it was the school you had your heart set on. And you were

confident you’d be accepted since many people considered your work in your

fieldtobeoriginalandexciting.Butyouwererejected.

The Fixed-Mindset Reaction. At first you tell yourself that it was extremely

competitive,soitdoesn’treallyreflectonyou.Theyprobablyhadmorefirst-rate

applicantsthantheycouldaccept.Thenthevoiceinyourheadstartsin.Ittells

you that you’re fooling yourself, rationalizing. It tells you that the admissions

committee found your work mediocre. After a while, you tell yourself it’s

probablytrue.Theworkisprobablyordinary,pedestrian,andthey’dseenthat.

Theywereexperts.Theverdictisinandyou’renotworthy.

Withsomeeffortyoutalkyourselfbackintoyourfirst,reasonable,andmore

flattering conclusion, and you feel better. In the fixed mindset (and in most

cognitive therapies), that’s the end of it. You’ve regained your self-esteem, so

thejobisfinished.Butinthegrowthmindset,that’sjustthefirststep.Allyou’ve

doneistalktoyourself.Nowcomesthelearningandself-improvementpart.

TheGrowth-MindsetStep.Thinkaboutyourgoalandthinkaboutwhatyoucoulddo

tostayontracktowardachievingit.Whatstepscouldyoutaketohelpyourself

succeed?Whatinformationcouldyougather?

Well, maybe you could apply to more schools next time. Or maybe, in the

meantime, you could gather more information about what makes a good

application:What are they looking for? What experiences do they value? You

couldseekoutthoseexperiencesbeforethenextapplication.

Since this is a true story, I know what step the rejected applicant took. She

wasgivensomestronggrowth-mindsetadviceand,afewdayslater,shecalled

theschool.Whenshelocatedtherelevantpersonandtoldhimthesituation,she

said,“Idon’twanttodisputeyourdecision.Ijustwanttoknow,ifIdecideto

apply again in the future, how I can improve my application. I would be very

gratefulifyoucouldgivemesomefeedbackalongthoselines.”

Nobodyscoffsatanhonest pleaforhelpful feedback.Severaldays later,he

calledherbackandofferedheradmission.Ithadindeedbeenaclosecalland,

afterreconsideringherapplication,thedepartmentdecidedtheycouldtakeone

morepersonthatyear.Plus,theylikedherinitiative.

She had reached out for information that would allow her to learn from

experienceand improve in the future. It turned out in this case that she didn’t

havetoimproveherapplication.Shegottoplungerightintolearninginhernew

graduateprogram.

PlansThatYou’llCarryOutandOnesThatYouWon’t

Thekeypartofourapplicant’sreactionwashercalltotheschooltogetmore

information.Itwasn’teasy.Everydaypeopleplantododifficultthings,butthey

don’tdothem.Theythink,“I’lldoittomorrow,”andtheysweartothemselves

that they’ll follow through the next day. Research by Peter Gollwitzerand his

colleaguesshowsthat vowing, evenintensevowing,is often useless. Thenext

daycomesandthenextdaygoes.

Whatworksismakinga vivid, concrete plan: “Tomorrow duringmybreak,

I’llgetacupoftea,closethedoortomyoffice,andcallthegraduateschool.”

Or,inanothercase:“OnWednesdaymorning,rightafterIgetupandbrushmy

teeth,I’llsitatmydeskandstartwritingmyreport.”Or:“Tonight,rightafterthe

dinnerdishesaredone,I’llsitdownwithmywifeinthelivingroomandhave

thatdiscussion.I’llsaytoher,‘Dear,I’dliketotalkaboutsomethingthatIthink

willmakeushappier.’ ”

Think of something you need to do, something you want to learn, or a

problemyouhavetoconfront.Whatisit?Nowmakeaconcreteplan.Whenwill

you follow through on your plan? Where will you do it? How will you do it?

Thinkaboutitinvividdetail.

Theseconcreteplans—plansyoucanvisualize—aboutwhen,where,andhow

you are going to do something lead to really high levels of follow-through,

which,ofcourse,upsthechancesofsuccess.

Sotheideaisnotonlytomakeagrowth-mindsetplan,butalsotovisualize,in

aconcreteway,howyou’regoingtocarryitout.

FeelingBad,ButDoingGood

Let’s go back a few paragraphs to when you were rejected by the graduate

school.Supposeyourattempttomakeyourselffeelbetterhadfailed.Youcould

stillhavetakenthegrowth-mindsetstep.Youcanfeelmiserableandstillreach

outforinformationthatwillhelpyouimprove.

SometimesafterIhaveasetback,Igothroughtheprocessoftalkingtomyself

aboutwhatitmeansandhowIplantodealwithit.Everythingseemsfine—until

Isleeponit.Inmysleep,Ihavedreamafterdreamofloss,failure,orrejection,

dependingonwhathappened.OncewhenI’dexperiencedaloss,Iwenttosleep

andhadthefollowingdreams:Myhairfellout,myteethfellout,Ihadababy

anditdied,andsoon.AnothertimewhenIfeltrejected,mydreamsgenerated

countless rejection experiences—real and imagined. In each instance, the

incident triggered a theme, and my too-active imagination gathered up all the

variationsonthethemetoplacebeforeme.WhenIwokeup,IfeltasthoughI’d

beenthroughthewars.

Itwouldbeniceifthisdidn’thappen,butit’sirrelevant.Itmightbeeasierto

mobilize for action if I felt better, but it doesn’t matter. The plan is the plan.

Rememberthedepressedstudentswiththegrowthmindset?Theworsetheyfelt,

themoretheydidtheconstructivething.Thelesstheyfeltlikeit,themorethey

madethemselvesdoit.

Thecriticalthingistomakeaconcrete,growth-orientedplan,andtostickto

it.

TheNumberOneDraftChoice

The last dilemma seemed hard, but, basically, it was solved by a phone call.

Nowimagineyou’reapromisingquarterback.Infact,you’rethewinnerofthe

Heismantrophy,collegefootball’shighest award. You’re the top draftpickof

the Philadelphia Eagles, the team you’ve always dreamed of playing for. So

what’sthedilemma?

TheSecondDilemma.Thepressureisoverwhelming.Youyearnforplayingtimein

the games, but every time they put you in a game to try you out, you turn

anxiousandlose yourfocus.Youwere alwayscoolunder pressure,butthisis

thepros. Nowallyouseearegiantguys comingtoward you—twelvehundred

poundsofgiantguyswhowanttotakeyouapart.Giantguyswhomovefaster

thanyoueverthoughtpossible.Youfeelcornered…helpless.

TheFixed-MindsetReaction.Youtortureyourselfwiththeideathataquarterbackisa

leaderandyou’renoleader.Howcouldyoueverinspiretheconfidenceofyour

teammates when you can’t get your act together to throw a good pass or

scrambleforafewyards?Tomakethingsworse,thesportscasterskeepasking,

Whathappenedtotheboywonder?

Tominimizethehumiliationyoubegintokeeptoyourselfand,toavoidthe

sportscasters,youdisappearintothelockerroomrightafterthegame.

Whoa.Isthisarecipeforsuccess?Whatstepscouldyoutaketomakethings

better?Thinkabouttheresourcesatyourdisposalandhowyoucouldusethem.

Butfirst,getyourmindsetturnedaround.

TheGrowth-Mindset Step.Inthegrowthmindset,youtellyourselfthattheswitchto

theprofessionalsisahugestep,onethattakesalotofadjustmentandalotof

learning.Therearemanythingsyoucouldn’tpossiblyknowyetandthatyou’d

betterstartfindingoutabout.

You try to spend more time with the veteran quarterbacks, asking them

questionsandwatchingtapeswiththem.Insteadofhidingyourinsecurities,you

talkabouthowdifferentitisfromcollege.They,inturn,tellyouthat’sexactly

howtheyfelt.Infact,theysharetheirhumiliatingstorieswithyou.

Youaskthemwhattheydidtoovercometheinitialdifficultiesandtheyteach

youtheirmentalandphysicaltechniques.Asyoubegintofeelmoreintegrated

intotheteam,yourealizeyou’repartofanorganizationthatwantstohelpyou

grow, not judge and belittle you. Rather than worrying that they overpaid for

yourtalent,youbegintogivethemtheirmoney’sworthofincrediblyhardwork

andteamspirit.

PEOPLEWHODON’TWANTTOCHANGE

Entitlement:TheWorldOwesYou

Manypeoplewiththefixedmindsetthinktheworldneedstochange,notthem.

Theyfeelentitledtosomethingbetter—abetterjob,house,orspouse.Theworld

shouldrecognizetheirspecialqualitiesandtreatthemaccordingly.Let’smove

tothenextdilemmaandimagineyourselfinthissituation.

The Next Dilemma.“HereIam,”youthink,“inthislow-leveljob.It’sdemeaning.

WithmytalentIshouldn’thavetoworklikethis.Ishouldbeuptherewiththe

big boys, enjoying the good life.” Your boss thinks you have a bad attitude.

When she needs someone to take on more responsibilities, she doesn’t turn to

you.Whenit’stimetogiveoutpromotions,shedoesn’tincludeyou.

The Fixed-Mindset Reaction. “She’s threatened by me,” you say bitterly. Your fixed

mindsetistellingyouthat,becauseofwhoyouare,youshouldautomaticallybe

thrustintotheupperlevelsofthebusiness.Inyourmind,peopleshouldseeyour

talentsandrewardyou.Whentheydon’t,it’snotfair.Whyshouldyouchange?

Youjustwantyourdue.

Butputtingyourselfinagrowthmindset,whataresomenewwaysyoucould

thinkandsomestepsyoucouldtake?Forexample,whataresomenewwaysyou

couldthinkabout effort?Aboutlearning? Andhowcouldyou actonthisnew

thinkinginyourwork?

Well,youcouldconsiderworkingharderandbeingmorehelpfultopeopleat

work. You could use your time to learn more about the business you’re in

insteadofbellyachingaboutyourlowstatus.Let’sseehowthismightlook.

TheGrowth-MindsetStep.Butfirst,let’sbeclear.Foralongtime,it’sfrighteningto

thinkofgivinguptheideaofbeingsuperior.Anordinary,run-of-the-millhuman

being isn’t what you want to be. How could you feel good about yourself if

you’renomorevaluablethanthepeopleyoulookdownon?

You begin to consider the idea that some people stand out because of their

commitmentandeffort.Littlebylittleyoutryputtingmoreeffortintothingsand

seeingifyougetmoreoftherewardsyouwanted.Youdo.

Althoughyoucanslowlyaccepttheideathateffortmightbenecessary,you

still can’t accept that it’s no guarantee. It’s enough of an indignity to have to

workatthings,buttoworkandstillnothavethemturnoutthewayyouwant—

now,that’sreallynotfair.Thatmeansyoucouldworkhardandsomebodyelse

couldstillgetthepromotion.Outrageous.

It’s a long time before you begin to enjoy putting in effort and a long time

beforeyoubegintothinkintermsoflearning.Insteadofseeingyourtimeatthe

bottomofthecorporateladderasaninsult,youslowlyseethatyoucanlearna

lotatthebottomthatcouldhelpyougreatlyonyourrisetothetop.Learningthe

nutsandboltsofthecompanycouldlatergiveyouabigadvantage.Allofour

topgrowth-mindsetCEOsknewtheircompaniesfromtoptobottom,insideout,

andupsidedown.

Insteadofseeingyourdiscussionswithyourcolleaguesastimespentgetting

what you want, you begin to grasp the idea of building relationships or even

helping your colleagues develop in ways they value. This can become a new

sourceofsatisfaction.YoumightsayyouwerefollowinginthefootstepsofBill

MurrayandhisGroundhogDayexperience.

Asyoubecomeamoregrowth-mindedperson,you’reamazedathowpeople

starttohelpyou,supportyou.Theynolongerseemlikeadversariesouttodeny

you what you deserve. They’re more and more often collaborators toward a

commongoal.It’sinteresting,youstartedoutwantingtochangeotherpeople’s

behavior—andyoudid.

Intheend,manypeoplewiththefixedmindsetunderstandthattheircloakof

specialnesswasreallyasuitofarmortheybuilttofeelsafe,strong,andworthy.

Whileitmayhaveprotectedthemearlyon,lateritconstrictedtheirgrowth,sent

them into self-defeating battles, and cut them off from satisfying, mutual

relationships.

Denial:MyLifeIsPerfect

People in a fixed mindset often run away from their problems. If their life is

flawed, then they’re flawed. It’s easier to make believe everything’s all right.

Trythisdilemma.

TheDilemma.Youseemtohaveeverything.Youhaveafulfillingcareer,aloving

marriage,wonderfulchildren,anddevotedfriends.Butoneofthosethingsisn’t

true. Unbeknownst to you, your marriage is ending. It’s not that there haven’t

beensigns,butyouchosetomisinterpretthem.Youwerefulfillingyourideaof

the“man’srole”orthe“woman’srole,”andcouldn’thearyourpartner’sdesire

formorecommunicationandmoresharingofyourlives.Bythetimeyouwake

upandtakenotice,it’stoolate.Yourspousehasdisengagedemotionallyfrom

therelationship.

TheFixed-MindsetReaction.You’vealwaysfeltsorryfordivorcedpeople,abandoned

people.Andnowyou’reoneofthem.Youloseallsenseofworth.Yourpartner,

whoknewyouintimately,doesn’twantyouanymore.

Formonths,youdon’tfeellikegoingon,convincedthatevenyourchildren

wouldbebetteroffwithoutyou.Ittakesyouawhiletogettothepointwhere

you feel at all useful or competent. Or hopeful. Now comes the hard part

because,eventhoughyounowfeelalittlebetteraboutyourself,you’restillin

thefixedmindset.You’reembarkingonalifetimeofjudging.Witheverything

goodthathappens,yourinternalvoicesays,MaybeI’mokayafterall.Butwith

everything bad that happens, the voice says, My spouse was right. Every new

personyoumeetisjudgedtoo—asapotentialbetrayer.

Howcouldyourethinkyourmarriage,yourself,andyourlifefromagrowth-

mindsetperspective?Whywereyouafraidtolistentoyourspouse?Whatcould

youhavedone?Whatshouldyoudonow?

TheGrowth-MindsetStep.First,it’snotthatthemarriage,whichyouusedtothinkof

asinherentlygood,suddenlyturned outtohave beenallbad oralwaysbad. It

wasanevolvingthingthathadstoppeddevelopingforlackofnourishment.You

need to think about how both you and your spouse contributed to this, and

especiallyaboutwhyyouweren’tabletoheartherequestforgreatercloseness

andsharing.

Asyouprobe,yourealizethat,inyourfixedmindset,yousawyourpartner’s

requestasacriticismofyouthatyoudidn’twanttohear.Youalsorealizethatat

some level, you were afraid you weren’t capable of the intimacy your partner

was requesting. So instead of exploring these issues with your spouse, you

turnedadeafear,hopingtheywouldgoaway.

Whenarelationshipgoessour,thesearetheissuesweallneedtoexplorein

depth, not to judge ourselves for what went wrong, but to overcome our fears

and learn the communication skills we’ll need to build and maintain better

relationshipsinthefuture.Ultimately,agrowthmindsetallowspeopletocarry

forthnotjudgmentsandbitterness,butnewunderstandingandnewskills.

Issomeoneinyourlifetryingtotellyousomethingyou’rerefusingtohear?

Stepintothegrowthmindsetandlistenagain.

CHANGINGYOURCHILD’SMINDSET

Manyofourchildren,ourmostpreciousresource,arestuckinafixedmindset.

YoucangivethemapersonalBrainologyworkshop.Let’slookatsomewaysto

dothis.

ThePrecociousFixedMindsetter

Most kids who adopt a fixed mindset don’t become truly passionate believers

untillaterinchildhood.Butsomekidstaketoitmuchearlier.

TheDilemma.Imagineyouryoungsoncomeshomefromschoolonedayandsays

to you, “Some kids are smart and some kids are dumb. They have a worse

brain.” You’re appalled. “Who told you that?” you ask him, gearing up to

complaintotheschool.“Ifigureditoutmyself,”hesaysproudly.Hesawthat

somechildrencould readandwritetheir lettersandadd a lotofnumbers, and

otherscouldn’t.Hedrewhisconclusion.Andheheldfasttoit.

Your son is precocious in all aspects of the fixed mindset, and soon the

mindsetisinfullflower.Hedevelopsadistasteforeffort—hewantshissmart

braintochurnthingsoutquicklyforhim.Anditoftendoes.

When he takes to chess very quickly, your spouse, thinking to inspire him,

rents the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer, a film about a young chess

champion.Whatyoursonlearnsfromthefilmisthatyoucouldloseandnotbea

championanymore.Soheretires.“I’machesschampion,”heannouncestoone

andall.Achampionwhowon’tplay.

Because he now understands what losing means, he takes further steps to

avoid it. He starts cheating at Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, and other

games.

Hetalksoftenaboutallthethingshecandoandotherchildrencan’t.When

youandyourspousetellhimthatotherchildrenaren’tdumb,theyjusthaven’t

practicedasmuchashehas,herefusestobelieveit.Hewatchesthingscarefully

atschoolandthencomeshomeandreports,“Evenwhentheteachershowsus

somethingnew,Icandoitbetterthanthem.Idon’thavetopractice.”

This boy is invested in his brain—not in making it grow but in singing its

praises.You’vealreadytoldhimthatit’saboutpracticeandlearning,notsmart

anddumb,buthedoesn’tbuyit.Whatelsecanyoudo?Whatareotherwaysyou

cangetthemessageacross?

The Growth-Mindset Step.Youdecidethat,ratherthan trying to talk him out of the

fixed mindset, you have to live the growth mindset. At the dinner table each

evening, you and your partner structure the discussion around the growth

mindset,askingeachchild(andeachother):“Whatdidyoulearntoday?”“What

mistake did you make that taught you something?” “What did you try hard at

today?”Yougoaroundthetablewitheachquestion,excitedlydiscussingyour

ownandoneanother’seffort,strategies,setbacks,andlearning.

Youtalkaboutskillsyouhavetodaythatyoudidn’thaveyesterdaybecause

ofthepracticeyouputin.Youdramatizemistakesyoumadethatheldthekeyto

the solution, telling it like a mystery story. You describe with relish things

you’re struggling with and making progress on. Soon the children can’t wait

eachnightto tell theirstories.“Ohmy goodness,” yousaywithwonder, “you

certainlydidgetsmartertoday!”

Whenyourfixed-mindsetsontellsstoriesaboutdoingthingsbetterthanother

children,everyonesays,“Yeah,butwhatdidyoulearn?”Whenhetalksabout

how easy everything is for him in school, you all say, “Oh, that’s too bad.

You’re not learning. Can you find something harder to do so you could learn

more?”Whenheboastsaboutbeingachamp,yousay,“Champsarethepeople

whoworkthehardest.Youcanbecomeachamp.Tomorrowtellmesomething

you’vedonetobecomeachamp.”Poorkid,it’saconspiracy.Inthelongrun,he

doesn’tstandachance.

Whenhedoeshishomeworkandcallsiteasyorboring,youteachhimtofind

waystomakeitmorefunandchallenging.Ifhehastowritewords,likeboy,you

askhim,“Howmanywordscanyouthinkofthatrhymewithboy?Writethem

onseparatepaperandlaterwecantrytomakeasentencethathasallthewords.”

When he finishes his homework, you play that game: “The boy threw the toy

intothesoysauce.”“Thegirlwiththecirl[curl]ateapirl[pearl].”Eventually,

hestartscomingupwithhisownwaystomakehishomeworkmorechallenging.

And it’s not just school or sports. You encourage the children to talk about

waystheylearnedtomakefriends,orwaysthey’relearningtounderstandand

helpothers.Youwanttocommunicatethatfeatsofintellectorphysicalprowess

arenotallyoucareabout.

Foralongtime,yoursonremainsattractedtothefixedmindset.Helovesthe

ideathathe’sinherentlyspecial—caseclosed.Hedoesn’tlovetheideathathe

has to work every day for some little gain in skill or knowledge. Stardom

shouldn’tbesotaxing.Yetasthe valuesysteminthefamilyshiftstoward the

growthmindset,hewantstobeaplayer.Soatfirsthetalksthetalk(squawking),

then he walks the walk (balking). Finally, going all the way, he becomes the

mindsetwatchdog.Whenanyoneinthefamilyslipsintofixed-mindsetthinking,

hedelightsincatchingthem.“Becarefulwhatyouwishfor,”youjoketoyour

spouse.

Thefixedmindsetissoverytempting.Itseemstopromisechildrenalifetime

ofworth,success,andadmirationjustforsittingthereandbeingwhotheyare.

That’swhyitcantakealotofworktomakethegrowthmindsetflourishwhere

thefixedmindsethastakenroot.

EffortGoneAwry

Sometimestheproblemwithachildisn’ttoolittleeffort.It’stoomuch.Andfor

the wrong cause. We’ve all heard about schoolchildren who stay up past

midnight every night studying. Or children who are sent to tutors so they can

outstriptheirclassmates.Thesechildrenareworkinghard,butthey’retypically

not in a growth mindset. They’re not focused on love of learning. They’re

usuallytryingtoprovethemselvestotheirparents.

Andinsomecases,theparentsmaylikewhatcomesoutofthishigheffort:

thegrades,theawards,theadmissiontotopschools.Let’sseehowyouwould

handlethisone.

The Dilemma. You’re proud of your daughter. She’s at the top of her class and

bringinghomestraightA’s.She’safluteplayerstudyingwiththebestteacherin

thecountry.Andyou’reconfidentshe’llgetintothetopprivatehighschoolin

thecity.Buteverymorningbeforeschool,shegetsanupsetstomach,andsome

daysshethrowsup.Youkeepfeedingherablanderandblanderdiettosoothe

her sensitive stomach, but it doesn’t help. It never occurs to you that she’s a

nervouswreck.

Whenyourdaughterisdiagnosedwithanulcer,itshouldbeawake-upcall,

but you and your spouse remain asleep. You continue to see it as a

gastrointestinal issue. The doctor, however, insists that you consult a family

counselor.Hetellsyouit’s a mandatory part of your daughter’streatmentand

handsyouacardwiththecounselor’snameandnumber.

TheFixed-MindsetReactions.Thecounselortellsyoutoeaseuponyourdaughter:Let

herknowit’sokaynottoworksohard.Makesureshegetsmoresleep.Soyou,

dutifullyfollowingthe instructions,makesureshegetstosleepbyteno’clock

each night. But this only makes things worse. She now has less time to

accomplishallthethingsthatareexpectedofher.

Despite what the counselor has said, it doesn’t occur to you that she could

possibly want your daughter to fall behind other students. Or be less

accomplishedattheflute.Orrisknotgettingintothetophighschool.Howcould

thatbegoodforher?

Thecounselorrealizesshehasabigjob.Herfirstgoalistogetyoumorefully

intouch withthe seriousnessof theproblem.Thesecondgoalistogetyouto

understandyourroleintheproblem.Youandyourspouseneedtoseethatit’s

your need for perfection that has led to the problem. Your daughter wouldn’t

haverunherselfragged if shehadn’tbeenafraid of losingyourapproval.The

thirdgoalistoworkoutaconcreteplanthatyoucanallfollow.

Canyouthinkofsomeconcretethingsthatcanbedonetohelpyourdaughter

enteragrowthmindsetsoshecaneaseupandgetsomepleasurefromherlife?

TheGrowth-MindsetStep.Theplanthecounselorsuggestswouldallowyourdaughter

to start enjoying the things she does. The flute lessons are put on hold. Your

daughteristoldshecanpracticeasmuchoraslittleasshewantsforthepurejoy

ofthemusicandnothingelse.

Sheistostudyherschoolmaterialstolearnfromthem,nottocrameverything

possibleintoherhead.Thecounselorrefershertoatutorwhoteachesherhow

to study for understanding. The tutor also discusses the material with her in a

waythatmakesitinterestingandenjoyable.Studyingnowhasanewmeaning.It

isn’taboutgettingthehighestgradetoproveherintelligenceandworthtoher

parents.It’saboutlearningthingsandthinkingaboutthemininterestingways.

Your daughter’s teachers are brought into the loop to support her in her

reorientationtowardgrowth.They’reaskedtotalktoherabout(andpraiseher

for)herlearningprocessratherthanhowshedidontests.(“Icanseethatyou

really understand how to use metaphors in your writing.” “I can see that you

werereallyintoyourprojectontheIncas.WhenIreadit,IfeltasthoughIwere

inancientPeru.”)Youaretaughttotalktoherthiswaytoo.

Finally,thecounselorstronglyurgesthatyourdaughterattendahighschool

that is less pressured than the one you have your eye on. There are other fine

schoolsthatfocusmoreonlearningandlessongradesandtestscores.Youtake

yourdaughteraroundandspendtimeineachoftheschools.Thenshediscusses

withyouandthecounselorwhichonesshewasmostexcitedaboutandfeltmost

ateasein.

Slowly,youlearntoseparateyourneedsanddesiresfromhers.Youmayhave

neededadaughterwhowasnumberoneineverything,butyourdaughterneeded

somethingelse:acceptancefromherparentsandfreedomtogrow.Asyouletgo,

your daughter becomes much more genuinely involved in the things she does.

Shedoesthemforinterestandlearning,andshedoesthemverywellindeed.

Isyourchildtryingtotellyousomethingyoudon’twanttohear?Youknow

theadthatasks,“Doyouknowwhereyourchildisnow?”Ifyoucan’thearwhat

your child is trying to tell you—in words or actions—then you don’t know

whereyourchildis.Enterthegrowthmindsetandlistenharder.

MINDSETANDWILLPOWER

Sometimeswedon’t want tochangeourselvesvery much. We justwantto be

abletodropsomepoundsandkeepthemoff.Orstopsmoking.Orcontrolour

anger.

Some people think about this in a fixed-mindset way. If you’re strong and

havewillpower,youcandoit.Butifyou’reweakanddon’thavewillpower,you

can’t.Peoplewhothinkthiswaymayfirmlyresolvetodosomething,butthey’ll

takenospecialmeasurestomakesuretheysucceed.Thesearethepeoplewho

endupsaying,“Quittingiseasy.I’vedoneitahundredtimes.”

It’sjustlikethechemistrystudentswetalkedaboutbefore.Theoneswiththe

fixed-mindsetthought:“IfIhaveability,I’lldowell;ifIdon’t,Iwon’t.”Asa

result, they didn’t use sophisticated strategies to help themselves. They just

studiedinanearnestbutsuperficialwayandhopedforthebest.

When people with a fixed mindset fail their test—in chemistry, dieting,

smoking,oranger—theybeatthemselvesup.They’reincompetent,weak,orbad

people.Wheredoyougofromthere?

My friend Nathan’s twenty-fifth high school reunion was coming up, and

whenhethoughtabouthowhisex-girlfriendwouldbethere,hedecidedtolose

the paunch. He’d been handsome and fit in high school and he didn’t want to

showupasafatmiddle-agedman.

Nathanhadalwaysmadefunofwomenandtheirdiets.What’sthebigfuss?

Youjust needsomeself-control.Tolosetheweight, hedecidedhewouldjust

eatpartofwhatwasonhisplate.Buteachtimehegotintoameal,thefoodon

theplatedisappeared.“Iblew it!” he’d say, feeling likeafailureandordering

dessert—eithertosealthefailureortolifthismood.

I’dsay,“Nathan,thisisn’tworking.Youneedabettersystem.Whynotput

someofthemealasideatthebeginningorhavetherestaurantwrapituptotake

home? Why not fill your plate with extra vegetables, so it’ll look like more

food?Therearelotsofthingsyoucando.”Tothishewouldsay,“No,Ihaveto

bestrong.”

Nathanended upgoingon oneofthose liquidcrashdiets, losingweightfor

thereunion,andputtingbackmorethanhelostafterward.Iwasn’tsurehowthis

wasbeingstrong,andhowusingsomesimplestrategieswasbeingweak.

Nexttimeyoutrytodiet,thinkofNathanandrememberthatwillpowerisnot

justathingyouhaveordon’thave.Willpowerneedshelp.I’llcomebacktothis

point.

Anger

Controlling anger is something else that’s a problem for many people.

Somethingtriggerstheirtemperandofftheygo,losingcontroloftheirmouths

orworse.Here,too,peoplemayvowthatnexttimethey’llbedifferent.Anger

control is a big issue between partners and between parents and children, not

only because partners and children do things that make us angry, but also

becausewemaythinkwehaveagreaterrighttoletloosewhentheydo.Trythis

one.

TheDilemma.Imagineyou’reanice,caringperson—asyouprobablyare—usually.

You love your spouse and feel lucky to have them as your partner. But when

theyviolateoneofyourrules,likelettingthegarbageoverflowbeforetakingit

out,youfeelpersonallybetrayed andstartcriticizing. Itbeginswith“I’vetold

youathousandtimes,”thenmovesonto“Youneverdoanythingright.”When

they still don’t seem properly ashamed, you flare, insulting their intelligence

(“Maybeyouaren’tsmartenoughtoremembergarbage”)andtheircharacter(“If

youweren’t soirresponsible,you wouldn’t…”“Ifyoucaredabout anyonebut

yourself, you’d…”). Seething with rage, you then bring in everything you can

think of to support your case: “My father never trusted you, either,” or “Your

boss was right when he said you were limited.” Your spouse has to leave the

premisestogetoutofrangeofyourmountingfury.

TheFixed-MindsetReaction.Youfeelrighteousaboutyourangerforawhile,butthen

you realize you’ve gone too far. You suddenly recall all the ways that your

spouseisasupportivepartnerandfeelintenselyguilty.Thenyoutalkyourself

backintotheideathatyou,too,areagoodperson,who’sjustslippedup—lostit

—temporarily. “I’ve really learned my lesson,” you think. “I’ll never do this

again.”

But believing you can simply keep that good person in the forefront in the

future,youdon’tthinkofstrategiesyoucouldusenexttimetopreventaflare-

up.That’swhythenexttimeisacarboncopyofthetimebefore.

TheGrowthMindsetandSelf-Control

Some people think about losing weight or controlling their anger in a growth-

mindset way. They realize that to succeed, they’ll need to learn and practice

strategiesthatworkforthem.

It’s like the growth-mindset chemistry students. They used better study

techniques,carefullyplannedtheirstudytime,andkeptuptheirmotivation.In

otherwords,theyusedeverystrategypossibletomakesuretheysucceeded.

Just like them, people in a growth mindset don’t merely make New Year’s

resolutions and wait to see if they stick to them. They understand that to diet,

theyneedtoplan.Theymayneedtokeepdessertsoutofthehouse.Orthinkin

advanceaboutwhattoorderinrestaurants.Orscheduleaonce-a-weeksplurge.

Orconsiderexercisingmore.

They think actively about maintenance. What habits must they develop to

continuethegainsthey’veachieved?

Thentherearethesetbacks.Theyknowthatsetbackswillhappen.Soinstead

ofbeatingthemselvesup,theyask:“WhatcanIlearnfromthis?WhatwillIdo

next time when I’m in this situation?” It’s a learning process—not a battle

betweenthebadyouandthegoodyou.

Inthatlastepisode,whatcouldyouhavedonewithyouranger?First,think

aboutwhyyougotsoworkedup.Youmayhavefeltdevaluedanddisrespected

when your spouse shirked the tasks or broke your rules—as though they were

saying to you, “You’re not important. Your needs are trivial. I can’t be

bothered.”

Yourfirstreactionwastoangrilyremindthemoftheirduty.Butontheheels

of that was your retaliation, sort of “Okay big shot, if you think you’re so

important,trythisonforsize.”

Yourspouse,ratherthanreassuringyouofyourimportance,simplybracedfor

the onslaught. Meanwhile, you took the silence as evidence that they felt

superior,anditfueledyourescalation.

What can be done? Several things. First, spouses can’t read your mind, so

whenananger-provokingsituationarises,youhavetomatter-of-factlytellthem

howitmakesyoufeel.“I’mnotsurewhy,butwhenyoudothat,itmakesme

feelunimportant.Likeyoucan’tbebotheredtodothingsthatmattertome.”

They,inturn,canreassureyouthattheycareabouthowyoufeelandwilltry

tobemorewatchful.(“Areyoukidding?”yousay.“Myspousewouldneverdo

that.”Well,youcanrequestitdirectly,asI’vesometimesdone:“Pleasetellme

thatyoucarehowIfeelandyou’lltrytobemorewatchful.”)

Whenyou feelyourselflosingit,you canlearntoleavethe roomand write

down your ugliest thoughts, followed by what is probably really happening

(“Shedoesn’tunderstandthisisimportanttome,”“Hedoesn’tknowwhattodo

when I start to blow”). When you feel calm enough, you can return to the

situation.

Youcanalsolearntoloosenuponsomeofyourrules,nowthateachoneis

notatestof your partner’s respect for you. With time, you might even gain a

senseof humoraboutthem.Forexample,ifyour spouseleavessomesocksin

thelivingroomorputsthewrongthingsintherecyclingbins,youmightpointat

theoffendingitemsandasksternly,“Whatisthemeaningofthis?”Youmight

evenhaveagoodlaugh.

Whenpeopledropthegood–bad,strong–weakthinkingthatgrowsoutofthe

fixed mindset, they’re better able to learn useful strategies that help with self-

control. Every lapse doesn’t spell doom. It’s like anything else in the growth

mindset. It’s a reminder that you’re an unfinished human being and a clue to

howtodoitbetternexttime.

MAINTAININGCHANGE

Whetherpeoplechangetheirmindsetinordertofurthertheircareer,healfroma

loss,helptheirchildrenthrive,loseweight,orcontroltheiranger,changeneeds

to be maintained. It’s amazing—once a problem improves, people often stop

doing what caused it to improve. Once you feel better, you stop taking your

medicine.

Butchangedoesn’tworkthatway.Whenyou’velostweight,theissuedoesn’t

go away. Or when your child starts to love learning, the problem isn’t solved

forever.Orwhenyouandyourpartnerstartcommunicatingbetter,that’snotthe

endofit.Thesechangeshavetobesupportedortheycangoawayfasterthan

theyappeared.

Maybe that’s why Alcoholics Anonymous tells people they will always be

alcoholics—sotheywon’tbecomecomplacentandstopdoingwhattheyneedto

dotostaysober.It’sawayofsaying,“You’llalwaysbevulnerable.”

This is why mindset change is not about picking up a few tricks. In fact, if

someone stays inside a fixed mindset and uses the growth strategies, it can

backfire.

Wes, a dad with a fixed mindset, was at his wit’s end. He’d come home

exhausted from work every evening and his son, Mickey, would refuse to

cooperate.Weswantedquiet,butMickeywasnoisy.Weswouldwarnhim,but

Mickey would continue what he was doing. Wes found him stubborn, unruly,

and not respectful of Wes’s rights as a father. The whole scene would

disintegrateintoashoutingmatchandMickeywouldendupbeingpunished.

Finally,feelinghehadnothingtolose,Westriedsomeofthegrowth-oriented

strategies. He showed respect for Mickey’s efforts and praised his strategies

when he was empathic or helpful. The turnaround in Mickey’s behavior was

dramatic.

Butassoonastheturnaroundtookplace,Wesstoppedusingthestrategies.He

had what he wanted and he expected it to just continue. When it didn’t, he

becameevenangrierandmorepunitivethanbefore.Mickeyhadshownhecould

behaveandnowrefusedto.

The same thing often happens with fixed-mindset couples who start

communicatingbetter.MarleneandScottwerewhatmyhusbandandIcallthe

Bickersons. All they did was bicker: “Why don’t you ever pick up after

yourself?”“Imightifyouweren’tsuchanag.”“Iwouldn’thavetonagifyou

did what you were supposed to do.” “Who made you the judge of what I’m

supposedtodo?”

Withcounseling,MarleneandScottstoppedjumpingonthenegatives.More

andmore,theystartedrewardingthethoughtfulthingstheirpartnerdidandthe

efforts their partner made. The love and tenderness they thought were dead

returned. But once it returned, they reverted. In the fixed mindset, things

shouldn’t need such effort. Good people should just act good and good

relationshipsshouldjustunfoldinagoodway.

Whenthebickeringresumed,itwasfiercerthaneverbecauseitreflectedallof

theirdisappointedhopes.

Mindset change is not about picking up a few pointers here and there. It’s

aboutseeingthingsinanewway.Whenpeople—couples,coachesandathletes,

managersandworkers,parentsandchildren,teachersandstudents—changetoa

growthmindset,theychangefromajudge-and-be-judgedframeworktoalearn-

and-help-learn framework. Their commitment is to growth, and growth takes

plentyoftime,effort,andmutualsupporttoachieveandmaintain.

THEJOURNEYTOA(TRUE)GROWTHMINDSET

In chapter 7, I talked about the “false growth mindset.” If you remember, my

colleagueSusanMackiewasencounteringpeoplewhoclaimedtohaveagrowth

mindsetbutwho,uponcloserinspection,didnot.Oncealerted,Istartedseeing

false growth mindset everywhere and I understood why it was happening.

Everyonewantstoseemenlightened,intheknow.Maybeasaparent,educator,

coach, or business professional, having a growth mindset was expected or

admired.

Ormaybeitwasmyfault.DidImakethechangetoagrowthmindsetseem

too easy, so that people didn’t realize that a journey was required? Or maybe

people didn’t know how to take the journey. So let’s talk more about that

journey.

TheJourney:Step1

You’llbesurprisedtohearmesaythis.Thefirststepistoembraceyourfixed

mindset.Let’sfaceit,weallhavesomeofit.We’reallamixtureofgrowthand

fixedmindsetsandweneedtoacknowledgethat.It’snotashamefuladmission.

It’smorelike,welcometothehumanrace.Buteventhoughwehavetoaccept

that some fixed mindset dwells within, we do not have to accept how often it

showsupandhowmuchhavocitcanwreakwhenitdoes.

TheJourney:Step2

Thesecondstepistobecomeawareofyourfixed-mindsettriggers.Whendoes

yourfixed-mindset“persona”comehometoroost?

• Itcouldbewhenyou’rethinkingabouttakingonabig,newchallenge.

Yourfixed-mindsetpersonamightappearandwhisper,“Maybeyoudon’t

havewhatittakes,andeveryonewillfindout.”

• Itcouldbewhenyou’restrugglingwithsomethingandyoukeephitting

deadends.Yourfixed-mindsetpersonamightflyinandofferitsadvice:

“Giveitup.It’sjustmakingyoufeelfrustratedandashamed.Do

somethingeasier.”

• Howaboutwhenyoufeellikeyou’vefaileddecisively?Lostyourjob.

Lostacherishedrelationship.Messedupinaverybigway.It’sarare

personwhodoesn’thaveafixed-mindsetepisode.Andweallknowvery

wellwhatthatfixedmindsetsaystous:“You’renotthepersonyou

thoughtyouwere—andyouneverwillbe.”

• Whataboutwhenyouencountersomeonewho’salotbetterthanyouinthe

veryareayouprideyourselfon?Whatdoesthatfixed-mindsetvoicesayto

you?Doesittellyouthatyou’llneverbeasgood?Doesitmakeyouhate

thatpersonjustalittle?

• Whataboutourfixedmindsettowardothers?Ifwe’reeducators,what

happensafterahigh-stakestest?Dowejudgewho’ssmartandwhoisn’t?

Ifwe’remanagers,whathappensduringandafterabigproject?Dowe

judgeouremployees’talent?Ifwe’reparents,dowepressureourkidsto

provethey’resmarterthanothersandmakethemfeeljudgedbasedontheir

gradesandtestscores?

Thinkaboutit.What’sarecenttimeyouweretriggeredintoafixedmindset?

Whathappenedtosummonyourfixed-mindsetpersona?Whatdiditwhisperin

yourear,andhowdiditmakeyoufeel?

When I asked people to tell me when their fixed-mindset persona usually

showsup,here’swhattheysaid:

“WhenI’munderpressure,myfixed-mindsetpersonaappears.He

fillsmyheadwithnoiseandkeepsmefrompayingattentiontothe

work I have to do. Then I feel like I can’t accomplish anything.

Feelings of anxiety and sadness also attract him. He attempts to

weaken me when I’m already feeling down. He makes comments

like ‘You don’t have the ability to grasp difficult concepts. You

have reached your limit.’ ” (By the way, this was a woman who

thoughtofherfixed-mindsetpersonaasamale.)

“Whenever I demonstrate my laziness through procrastination,

wheneverIhave adisagreementwith someone,wheneverI’m too

shytotalktoanyoneataparty,myfixed mindset persona shows

up….Hetellsme,‘YourFAILUREdoesn’tdefineyou.’Ofcourse,

heyellstheword‘failure,’andwhisperstherest.”

“Whenever I fail to live up to the image that she—my fixed-

mindset persona—concocted for me, she makes me feel stressed,

defensive,andunmotivated.Shedoesn’tallowmetotakerisksthat

mayaffectourreputationasasuccessfulperson.Shedoesn’tletme

speak out for fear of being wrong. She forces me to look like a

personwhocanunderstandanddoeverythingeffortlessly.”

“Whenwehaveaworkdeadlineandmyteamisunderthegun,my

fixed-mindsetpersonasitsinjudgment.Insteadofempoweringmy

team,Ibecomeaharpingperfectionist—nooneisdoingitright,no

one is working fast enough. Where are all those breakthrough

ideas?We’llnevermakeit.Asaresult,Ioftenjusttakeoveranddo

alotoftheworkmyself.Needlesstosay,itdoesn’tdowondersfor

teammorale.”(Wewillhearmorefromthisteamleaderandoneof

histeammembersinamoment.)

Asyoucometounderstandyourtriggersandgettoknowyourpersona,don’t

judgeit.Justobserveit.

TheJourney:Step3

Nowgiveyourfixed-mindsetpersonaaname.

Youheardmecorrectly.

IwatchedasSusanMackieworkedwithfinancialexecutiveswhohadgiven

theirfixed-mindsetpersonasnames.Theyweretalkingaboutwhattriggerstheir

personas,andthetopguysaid,“Whenwe’reinacrunch,Duaneshowsup.He

makesmesupercriticalofeveryone,andIgetbossyanddemandingratherthan

supportive.” A female team member quickly responded: “Yes, and when your

Duane shows up, my Ianni comes roaring out. Ianni is the macho guy who

makesmefeelincompetent.SoyourDuanebringsoutmyIanniandIbecome

cowering and anxious, which infuriates Duane.” And on went this amazing

conversation.Thesesophisticatedprofessionalstalkedaboutwhen their named

personashowedup,howitmadethemfeelandact,andhowitaffectedothers

around them. By the way, once they were able to understand each other’s

triggersandpersonas,theycouldmovetheirinteractionstoanotherlevelandthe

moraleinthisunitwentupbyleapsandbounds.

EveryfallIteachafreshmanseminar—sixteenbrand-newStanfordstudents,

veryeagerandverynervous.EachweekIgivethemadifferentassignmentfora

shortpaper:Findsomethingimportantaboutyourselfthatyou’dliketochange

and take the first step….Do something outrageously growth mindset in the

service of what you’d like to change….Project yourself twenty-five years into

the future and write me a letter about where you are in your life and all the

struggles,disappointments,hardships,andfailuresyou’veencounteredalongthe

way.

This year I tried a new one. In the past, I had assigned a paper that asked

studentsto reflecton their mindsets, and I’d always had a few of them laying

claimtoalong-standingandtotalgrowthmindset.ButthisyearIaskedthemto

identify their fixed-mindset triggers and to give their fixed-mindset persona a

name.Itwasfascinating.Notonestudentclaimedtohavenotriggersorpersona.

All of them were able to write eloquently (and painfully) about their fixed-

mindsetpersona,itstriggers,anditsimpact.

“Meet Gertrude, my cagey, histrionic, self-aggrandizing fixed-

mindsetpersona.Shesneaksintomysubconsciousandundermines

me. The name Gertrude means ‘strong spear,’ which reflects her

insistenceon unwavering,natural strength.She detestshardwork,

second place, and imperfections. Any whiff of failure or

imperfectioncantriggerGertrude’sentrance.Threesecondsslower

inaswimrace?Noshotatthevarsityteam.Didn’tdrawasgooda

self-portrait as another girl in my class? Art isn’t your thing.

Couldn’tuseasmanybigwordsasmyoldersister?You’llneverbe

as smart as her. Gertrude convinces me that failure is definitive.

Onemistakecantakeawaymyfuturesuccess.”

“Almostlikemarriage,IknowSugardaddywillbewithmethrough

thick and thin, sickness and health, and life and death. He comes

forth when I step out of my comfort zone, get criticized, or

experience a failure, causing me to become defensive, lash out at

others, or stagnate. Sugardaddy finds peace in never leaving his

comfortzone,buthis views conflict more andmorewithmineas

hisrigidguidelinestrytokeepmeboxedinhisstand-stillworld.”

“Failure,especiallypublicfailure,ismymainfixed-mindsettrigger.

That’swhen Henriettacomes out.Sheismycritical grandmother,

andinthefixedmindsetIremindmyselfmoreofherthanI’dcare

toadmit.MyHenriettapersonaisquicktoblameotherstopreserve

herego.Sherejectsfailureinsteadofembracingit,andmakesme

worrythatifanyoneeverseesmefailtheywilldeemmeafailure.”

“Myfixed-mindsetpersonaisZ,themirrorimageofmyfirstinitial,

S.ZshowsupwhenIleastrequireher,likeafterafailedattempt,a

rejection,oramissedopportunity.I’vealwaysbeenanavidwriter

—theeditorofmyhighschoolnewsletterandtheauthorofanow-

publishednovel.Sowhenthechanceto beapartofTheStanford

Daily [the school newspaper] arrived, I was thrilled to apply. I

worked very hard on the essays for the application and felt they

werewellwritten.Thus,whenIawoketothethunderingknocksat

7A.M.onaFridaymorningandIheardthescreamingof‘Stanford

Daily,’myheartskippedahappybeat.Asmyroommateopenedthe

door, the reps from the newspaper yelled out, ‘Welcome to The

Stanford Daily.’ To her. As this happened, Z was screaming too,

but it was ‘Stupid, stupid, stupid. How could you think you’re

capableofgettingintotheDaily?’Zwasespeciallyferocioussince

my roommate spent exactly half an hour on her essays and even

askedme forideas forthem.” (P.S.For alater assignment—todo

something “outrageously growth mindset”—S actually contacted

TheStanfordDailytoseeiftheyneededanynewwriters.Theydid

andshegotthejob!Iamstillthrilledbyhercourageinthefaceof

thepainfulrejection.)

“Anythingthattriggersself-doubttriggersmyfixedmindset,which

triggersmoreself-doubt.I’vedecidedtonamemydoubtguyDale

Denton,SethRogen’scharacterinPineappleExpress.Picturingmy

fixedmindsetasalazy,bumblingslobofaguysittinginthecorner

ofmybrainhelpsmebattleagainsthim.Daleproducesaconstant

stream of doubt-provoking statements. Whispers of ‘What if you

can never repeat that success?’ trail behind every successful

outcome.Andwhenanendeavorveersinthewrongdirection,Dale

isalwayspresenttohelpthedoubtblossom.”

Takea momenttothink carefullyaboutyourownfixed-mindsetpersona.Will

you name it aftersomeone in your life? A character from a book or a movie?

Will you give it your middle name—it’s part of you but not the main part of

you? Or perhaps you might give it a name you don’t like, to remind you that

that’snotthepersonyouwanttobe.

TheJourney:Step4

You’re in touch with your triggers and you’re excruciatingly aware of your

fixed-mindset persona and what it does to you. It has a name. What happens

now?Educateit.Takeitonthejourneywithyou.

Themoreyoubecomeawareofyourfixed-mindsettriggers,themoreyoucan

be on the lookout for the arrival of your persona. If you’re on the verge of

stepping out of your comfort zone, be ready to greet it when it shows up and

warnsyoutostop.Thankitforitsinput,butthentellitwhyyouwanttotakethis

stepandaskittocomealongwithyou:“Look,Iknowthismaynotworkout,

butI’dreallyliketotakeastabatit.CanIcountonyoutobearwithme?”

Whenyouhitasetback,thechancesareexcellentit’sgoingtoshowupagain.

Don’tsuppressitorbanit.Justletitdoitsthing.Letitdoitssonganddance,

andwhenitsettlesdownabit,talktoitabouthowyouplantolearnfromthe

setbackandgoforward:“Yes,yes,it’spossiblethatI’mnotsogoodatthis(yet),

butIthinkIhaveanideaofwhattodonext.Let’sjusttryit.”

Whenyou’reunderpressureandyou’reafraidyourteamwillletyoudown,

tellthemthatDuaneisinfullbloomandaskthemwhattheyneedfromyouto

do their best work. Try to understand and respect where they are and what

they’rethinking,andtrytosupportandguidethem.KeeptalkingtoDuanesohe

cancalmdown—andthenhelpyoucutthemsomeslackandcontributetoteam

process.

Rememberthatyourfixed-mindsetpersonawasborntoprotectyouandkeep

yousafe.Butithasdevelopedsomeverylimitingwaysofdoingthat.Soeducate

it in the new growth mindset ways that it can support you: in taking on

challenges and sticking to them, bouncing back from failure, and helping and

supportingotherstogrow.Understand the persona’s point of view,butslowly

teachitadifferent way of thinking,andtakeitwith you on your journeytoa

growthmindset.

Understanding that everyone has a fixed-mindset persona can give us more

compassionforpeople.Itallowsustounderstandtheirstruggles.Imentionedin

apreviouschapterhowupsetIwastolearnthatsomeeducatorswerescolding

childrenforactinginfixed-mindsetways.Theywouldpointtothemindsetchart

inthefrontoftheroomandtellthekidstoshapeup.

Comparethistothefollowingteacher.Overaperiodoftime,thisteacherhad

hergradeschoolclasstalkabouttheirfixed-mindsettriggersandthengivetheir

personasaname.Oneboywouldn’tdoit,whichwasverymuchinlinewithalot

ofhisbehavior.Thereweremanythingshewouldn’tdonomatterhowmuchthe

teachergently encouragedhim. Forweekshesatthere mutewhile everyother

studentinthe class talked aboutanddrewpictures of theirlittlefixed-mindset

personas—Scared Sally, Lazy Larry, Anxious Andy, or Helpless Hannah. But

theteacherlethimknowthatshewasthereforhimwheneverhewasready,and

oneday,outofnowhere,hesaid,“DumpingDan.”“What?”theteacherasked.

“DumpingDan,”herepeated.“WheneverIdosomething,Idoitwrong.Ican’t

doanythingright.That’swhyeveryonedumpsonme.”Wheneverhetriedtodo

hisschoolwork,itseemedthatDumpingDanwouldyellathimsoloudlythathe

couldn’t proceed. The teacher rushed to his side and worked with him and

Dumping Dan so that eventually Dan relented, gave him some peace, and

allowedhimtowork.Afterthat,hisgrowthwastremendous.

How many students or employees are considered incompetent, stubborn, or

defiant when they just don’t know how to function well under the current

conditions?Howoftendowethreaten,punish,orwriteoffthesepeoplerather

than helping them work it through or helping them find the conditions under

whichtheycanthrive?

—

Everyoneofushasajourneytotake.

• Itstartsbyacceptingthatweallhavebothmindsets.

• Thenwelearntorecognizewhattriggersourfixedmindset.Failures?

Criticism?Deadlines?Disagreements?

• Andwecometounderstandwhathappenstouswhenourfixed-mindset

“persona”istriggered.Whoisthispersona?What’sitsname?Whatdoesit

makeusthink,feel,anddo?Howdoesitaffectthosearoundus?

• Importantly,wecangraduallylearntoremaininagrowth-mindsetplace

despitethetriggers,asweeducateourpersonaandinviteittojoinuson

ourgrowth-mindsetjourney.

• Ideally,wewilllearnmoreandmoreabouthowwecanhelpotherson

theirjourney,too.

LEARNANDHELPLEARN

Let’ssayyou’venamedandtamedyourfixed-mindsetpersona.That’sgreat,but

please don’t think your journey is complete. For your growth mindset to bear

fruit,youneedtokeepsettinggoals—goalsforgrowth.Everydaypresentsyou

withwaystogrowandtohelp the people you care about grow. How can you

remembertolookforthesechances?

First,makeacopyofthisgraphicsummaryofthetwomindsets,whichwas

created by the wonderful Nigel Holmes, and tape it to your mirror. Each

morning, use it to remind yourself of the differences between the fixed and

growthmindsets.Then,as you contemplatethe day in front of you, try to ask

yourselfthesequestions.Ifyouhaveroomonyourmirror,copythemoverand

tapethemthere,too.

DIAGRAMBYNIGELHOLMES

What are the opportunities for learning and growth today? For

myself?Forthepeoplearoundme?

Asyouthinkofopportunities,formaplan,andask:

When,where,andhowwillIembarkonmyplan?

When,where,andhowmaketheplanconcrete.Howasksyoutothinkofallthe

waystobringyourplantolifeandmakeitwork.

Asyouencountertheinevitableobstaclesandsetbacks,formanewplanand

askyourselfthequestionagain:

When,where,andhowwillIactonmynewplan?

Regardlessofhowbadyoumayfeel,chatwithyourfixed-mindsetpersonaand

thendoit!

Andwhenyousucceed,don’tforgettoaskyourself:

WhatdoIhavetodotomaintainandcontinuethegrowth?

Remember,asAlexRodriguez,thebaseballplayer,wiselysaid:“Youeither

goonewayortheother.”Youmightaswellbetheonedecidingthedirection.

THEROADAHEAD

Changecanbetough,butI’veneverheardanyonesayitwasn’tworthit.Maybe

they’re just rationalizing, the way people who’ve gone through a painful

initiationsayitwasworthit.Butpeoplewho’vechangedcantellyouhowtheir

lives have been enhanced. They can tell you about things they have now that

theywouldn’thavehad,andwaystheyfeelnowthattheywouldn’thavefelt.

Did changing toward a growth mindset solve all my problems? No. But I

knowthatIhaveadifferentlifebecauseofit—aricherone.AndthatI’mamore

alive,courageous,andopenpersonbecauseofit.

It’sforyoutodecidewhetherchangeisrightforyounow.Maybeitis,maybe

itisn’t.Buteitherway,keepthegrowthmindsetinyourthoughts.Then,when

youbumpupagainstobstacles,youcanturntoit.Itwillalwaysbethereforyou,

showingyouapathintothefuture.

NOTES
CHAPTER1.THEMINDSETS
WhenIwasayoungresearcher:ThisresearchwasconductedwithDick
ReppucciandwithCarolDiener.
Throughtheages,theseallegedphysicaldifferences:SeeStevenJ.Gould’s
TheMismeasureofMan(NewYork:Norton,1981)forahistoryofhow
peoplehavetriedtoexplainhumandifferencesintermsofinnatephysical
characteristics.
Itmaysurpriseyoutoknow:AlfredBinet(SuzanneHeisler,trans.),Modern
IdeasAboutChildren(MenloPark,CA:SuzanneHeisler,1975)(original
work,1911).Seealso:RobertS.Siegler,“TheOtherAlfredBinet,”
DevelopmentalPsychology28(1992),179–190;RenéZazzo,“Alfred
Binet,”Prospects:TheQuarterlyReviewofComparativeEducation23
(1993),101–112.
“Afewmodernphilosophers”:Binet,ModernIdeas,105–107.
Infact,asGilbertGottlieb:GilbertGottlieb,“NormallyOccurring
EnvironmentalandBehavioralInfluencesonGeneActivity:FromCentral
DogmatoProbabilisticEpigenesis,”PsychologicalReview105(1995),
792–802.
RobertSternberg:RobertSternberg,“Intelligence,Competence,andExpertise.”
InAndrewElliotandCarolS.Dweck(eds.),TheHandbookofCompetence
andMotivation(NewYork:GuilfordPress,2005).
AViewfromtheTwoMindsets:ThisresearchwasconductedwithWenjieZhao
andClaudiaMueller.
Infact,studiesshow:SeethefineworkofDavidDunning.
Recently,wesetouttosee:ThisresearchwasconductedwithJoyceEhrlinger.

HowardGardner:HowardGardner,ExtraordinaryMinds(NewYork:Basic
Books,1997).
Inapollof143creativityresearchers:RobertJ.Sternberg(ed.),Handbookof
Creativity(NewYork:CambridgeUniversityPress,1999).
Whichmindsetdoyouhave?:ThesemeasuresweredevelopedwithSheriLevy,
ValanneMacGyvers,C.Y.Chiu,andYing-yiHong.

CHAPTER2.INSIDETHEMINDSETS
BenjaminBarber,aneminentpoliticaltheorist:CaroleHyattandLinda
Gottlieb,WhenSmartPeopleFail(NewYork:PenguinBooks,
1987/1993),232.
Weofferedfour-year-oldsachoice:ThisresearchwasdonewithCharlene
Hebert,andwasfollowedupbyworkwithPatSmiley,GailHeyman,and
KathyCain.
Oneseventh-gradegirlsummeditup:ThankstoNancyKimforthisquote.
It’sanothertopassupanopportunity:ThisworkwasdonewithYing-yiHong,
C.Y.Chiu,DerekLin,andWendyWan.
BrainWaves:ThisresearchisbeingconductedwithJenniferMangelsand
CatherineGoodandissupportedbyagrantfromtheDepartmentof
Education.
It’snotjustonintellectualtasks:ThisresearchwascarriedoutwithStephanie
MorrisandMelissaKamins.
LeeIacoccahadabadcase:DoronLevin,BehindtheWheelatChrysler:The
IacoccaLegacy(NewYork:HarcourtBrace,1995).
DarwinSmith,lookingback:ReportedinJimCollins,GoodtoGreat:Why
SomeCompaniesMaketheLeap…andOthersDon’t(NewYork:
HarperCollins,2001),20.
AlbertDunlap,aself-professedfixedmindsetter:AlbertDunlapwithBob
Andelman,MeanBusiness:HowISaveBadCompaniesandMakeGood
CompaniesGreat(NewYork:Fireside/Simon&Schuster,1996);JohnA.
Byrne,“HowAlDunlapSelf-Destructed,”BusinessWeek,July6,1998.
LouGerstner,anavowedgrowthmindsetter:LouGerstner,WhoSays
ElephantsCan’tDance?InsideIBM’sHistoricTurnaround(NewYork:
HarperCollins,2002).
“AllmylifeI’vebeenplaying”:MiaHammwithAaronHeifetz,Goforthe
Goal:AChampion’sGuidetoWinninginSoccerandinLife(NewYork:

HarperCollins,1999),3.
PatriciaMirandawasachubby,unathletic:JudyBattista,“ATinyFemale
PioneerforOlympicWrestling,”TheNewYorkTimes,May16,2004.
In1995,ChristopherReeve,theactor:ChristopherReeve,NothingIs
Impossible:ReflectionsonaNewLife(NewYork:RandomHouse,2002).
Iwatchedithappen:ThisworkwasdonewithHeidiGrant.
Wesawthesamethinginyoungerstudents:ThisworkwaswithClaudia
Mueller.
MarinaSemyonova,agreatRussiandancer:MargaretHenry,“Passionand
Will,Undimmedby80YearsofBallet,”TheNewYorkTimes,January10,
1999.
WhenDoYouFeelSmart:ThisworkwascarriedoutwithElaineElliottand
laterwithValanneMacGyvers.
“Wewerestars”:StephenGlass,TheFabulist(NewYork:Simon&Schuster,
2003).Thisisamoment-by-momentaccount,whichGlasshaspublished
asanovel.
Tofindout,weshowed:ThisworkwasdonewithJeremyStone.
Socommonisthebelief:ReportedinSteveYoung,GreatFailuresofthe
ExtremelySuccessful(LosAngeles:TallfellowPress,2002).
“Morton,”Kennedytoldhim:Ibid.,47.
Peoplewiththegrowthmindsetknow:Thissurveywasconductedwith
CatherineGoodandAneetaRattan.
Isthereanotherway:CharlesC.Manz,ThePowerofFailure(SanFrancisco:
Berrett-Koehler,2002),38.
JackWelch,thecelebratedCEO:JackWelchwithJohnA.Byrne,Jack:
StraightfromtheGut(NewYork:WarnerBooks,2001).
JohnMcEnroehadafixedmindset:JohnMcEnroewithJamesKaplan,You
CannotBeSerious(NewYork:Berkley,2002).
McEnroeusedsawdust:Ibid.,159.
Hegoesontotellus:Ibid.,160.

“Everythingwasaboutyou”:Ibid.,158.
“Iwasshocked”:FromJanetLowe,MichaelJordanSpeaks:Lessonsfromthe
World’sGreatestChampion(NewYork:JohnWiley,1999),95.
TomWolfe,inTheRightStuff:TomWolfe,TheRightStuff(NewYork:
Bantam,1980),31.AlsocitedinMorganW.McCall,HighFlyers:
DevelopingtheNextGenerationofLeaders(Boston:HarvardBusiness
SchoolPress,1998),5.
“Thereisnosuchthing”:ChuckYeagerandLeoJanos,Yeager(NewYork:
Bantam,1985),406.AlsocitedinMcCall,HighFlyers,17.
AsaNewYorkTimesarticle:AmyWaldman,“WhyNobodyLikesaLoser,”
TheNewYorkTimes,August21,1999.
“Iwouldhavebeenadifferent”:CliftonBrown,“OutofaBunker,andOutofa
Funk,ElsTakestheOpen,”TheNewYorkTimes,July22,2002.
EachAprilwhentheskinnyenvelopes:AmyDickinson,“SkinnyEnvelopes,”
Time,April3,2000.(ThankstoNellieSabinforcallingmyattentionto
thisarticle.)JimMarshall,formerdefensiveplayer:Young,Great
FailuresoftheExtremelySuccessful,7–11.
BernardLoiseauwasoneofthetop:ElaineGanley,“TopChef’sDeathShocks
France,SparksCondemnationofPowerfulFoodCritics,”AssociatedPress,
February25,2003.
Inonestudy,seventhgraders:ThisworkwasdonewithLisaSorichBlackwell
andKaliTrzesniewski.
Collegestudents,afterdoingpoorly:ThisworkwaswithDavidNussbaum.
JimCollinstells:Collins,GoodtoGreat,80.
Itwasneverhisfault:McEnroe,YouCannotBeSerious.
JohnWooden,thelegendary:JohnWoodenwithSteveJamison,Wooden:A
LifetimeofObservationsandReflectionsOnandOfftheCourt
(Lincolnwood,IL:ContemporaryBooks,1997),55.
WhenEnron,theenergygiant:BethanyMcLeanandPeterElkind,The
SmartestGuysintheRoom:TheAmazingRiseandScandalousFallof
Enron(NewYork:PenguinGroup,2003),414.

JackWelch,thegrowth-mindedCEO:Welch,Jack,224.
Asapsychologistandaneducator:Theworkdescribedwascarriedoutwith
AllisonBaerandHeidiGrant.
MalcolmGladwell:Presentedinaninvitedaddressattheannualmeetingofthe
AmericanPsychologicalAssociation,Chicago,August2002.
Areportfromresearchers:“ReportoftheSteeringCommitteefortheWomen’s
InitiativeatDukeUniversity,”August2003.
Americansaren’ttheonlypeople:JackSmith,“IntheWeightRoomsofParis,
ThereIsaChicNewFragrance:Sweat,”TheNewYorkTimes,June21,
2004.
Seabiscuit:LauraHillenbrand,Seabiscuit:AnAmericanLegend(NewYork:
RandomHouse,2001).
Equallymovingistheparallelstory:LauraHillenbrand,“ASuddenIllness,”
TheNewYorker,July7,2003.
NadjaSalerno-Sonnenbergmadeherviolindebut:NadjaSalerno-Sonnenberg,
Nadja,OnMyWay(NewYork:Crown,1989);BarbaraL.Sand,Teaching
Genius:DorothyDeLayandtheMakingofaMusician(Portland,OR:
AmadeusPress,2000).
“Iwasusedtosuccess”:Salerno-Sonnenberg,Nadja,49.
“EverythingIwasgoingthrough”:Ibid.,50.
Then,oneday:Ibid.
TherewerefewAmericanwomen:HyattandGottlieb,WhenSmartPeopleFail,
25–27.
“Idon’treallyunderstand”:Ibid.,27.
“Ioftenthought”:Ibid.,25.
BillieJeanKingsays:BillieJeanKingwithKimChapin,BillieJean(New
York:Harper&Row,1974).
Alawyerspentsevenyears:HyattandGottlieb,WhenSmartPeopleFail,224.
Caneverythingaboutpeoplebechanged?:MartinSeligmanhaswrittenavery
interestingbookonthissubject:WhatYouCanChange…AndWhatYou

Can’t(NewYork:Fawcett,1993).

JosephMartocchioconductedastudy:JosephJ.Martocchio,“Effectsof

ConceptionsofAbilityonAnxiety,Self-Efficacy,andLearningin

Training,”JournalofAppliedPsychology79(1994),819–825.

ThesamethinghappenedwithBerkeleystudents:RichardRobinsandJennifer

Pals,“ImplicitSelf-TheoriesintheAcademicDomain:Implicationsfor

GoalOrientation,Attributions,Affect,andSelf-EsteemChange,”Selfand

Identity1(2002),313–336.

MichelleWiewasateenagegolfer:CliftonBrown,“AnEducationwithHard

Courses,”TheNewYorkTimes,January13,2004.

“IthinkIlearnedthatIcan”:CliftonBrown,“WieShowsPowerbutHer

PutterLetHerDown,”TheNewYorkTimes,January16,2004.

CHAPTER3.THETRUTHABOUTABILITYANDACCOMPLISHMENT
Edisonwasnotaloner:PaulIsrael,Edison:ALifeofInvention(NewYork:
JohnWiley&Sons,1998).
YetDarwin’smasterwork:HowardE.Gruber,DarwinonMan:APsychological
StudyofScientificCreativity,2nded.(Chicago:UniversityofChicago
Press,1981);CharlesDarwin,Autobiographies(MichaelNeveandSharon
Messenger,eds.)(NewYork:PenguinBooks,1903/2002).
Mozartlabored:RobertW.Weisberg,“CreativityandKnowledge.”InRobertJ.
Sternberg(ed.),HandbookofCreativity(NewYork:CambridgeUniversity
Press,1999).
Backonearth,wemeasured:ThisworkwasdoneincollaborationwithLisa
SorichBlackwellandKaliTrzesniewski.ThanksalsotoNancyKimfor
collectingquotesfromthestudents.
GeorgeDanzigwasagraduatestudent:ToldbyGeorgeDanziginCynthia
Kersey,Unstoppable(Naperville,IL:Sourcebooks,1998).
JohnHolt,thegreateducator:JohnHolt,HowChildrenFail(NewYork:
AddisonWesley,1964/1982),14.
TheCollegeTransition:ThisworkwasdonewithHeidiGrant.
InherbookGiftedChildren:EllenWinner,GiftedChildren:Mythsand
Realities(NewYork:BasicBooks,1996).
Michael’smotherreports:Ibid.,21.
GarfieldHighSchool:JayMatthews,Escalante:TheBestTeacherinAmerica
(NewYork:HenryHolt,1998).
MarvaCollins:MarvaCollinsandCiviaTamarkin,MarvaCollins’Way:
ReturningtoExcellenceinEducation(LosAngeles:JeremyTarcher,
1982/1990).
Hesawfour-year-olds:Ibid.,160.
Asthethree-andfour-year-olds:MarvaCollins,“Ordinary”Children,

ExtraordinaryTeachers(Charlottesville,VA:HamptonRoadsPublishing,
1992),4.
BenjaminBloom:BenjaminS.Bloom,DevelopingTalentinYoungPeople
(NewYork:BallantineBooks,1985).
Bloomconcludes:Ibid.,4.
FalkoRheinberg,aresearcherinGermany:FalkoRheinberg,
LeistungsbewertungundLernmotivation[AchievementEvaluationand
MotivationtoLearn](Göttingen:Hogrefe,1980),87,116.Alsoreportedat
theconferenceoftheAmericanEducationalResearchAssociation,Seattle,
April2001.
“Comeon,peach”:CollinsandTamarkin,MarvaCollins’Way,19.
Ontheoppositepagearethebefore-and-after:BettyEdwards,TheNew
DrawingontheRightSideoftheBrain(NewYork:Tarcher/Putnam,
1979/1999),18–20.
JacksonPollock:ElizabethFrank,Pollock(NewYork:AbbevillePress,1983);
EvelynToynton,“ALittleHere,ALittleThere,”TheNewYorkTimes
BookReview,January31,1999.
TwylaTharp:TheCreativeHabit(NewYork:Simon&Schuster,2003).
“Thereareno‘natural’geniuses”:Ibid.,7.
TheDangerofPraise:ThisworkwasconductedwithClaudiaMuellerandwith
MelissaKamins.
AdamGuettelhasbeencalled:JesseGreen,“AComplicatedGift,”TheNew
YorkTimesMagazine,July6,2003.
ResearchbyClaudeSteeleandJoshuaAronson:ClaudeM.SteeleandJoshua
Aronson,“StereotypeThreatandtheIntellectualTestPerformanceof
African-Americans,”JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology68
(1995),797–811.
WeaskedAfricanAmericanstudents:ThisresearchwasdonewithBonita
London.
Tofindouthowthishappens:ThisworkwasdonewithCatherineGoodand
AneetaRattan,andwassupportedbyagrantfromtheNationalScience
Foundation.SeealsothewonderfulresearchofGregoryWalton(e.g.,

GregoryM.WaltonandGeoffreyL.Cohen,“AQuestionofBelonging:
Race,SocialFit,andAchievement,”JournalofPersonalityandSocial
Psychology92[2007],82–96).
Manyfemaleshaveaproblemnotonlywith:ThishasbeenstudiedbyTomi-
AnnRobertsandSusanNolen-Hoeksema.
Whenweobservedingradeschool:ThisresearchwasconductedwithWilliam
Davidson,SharonNelson,andBradleyEnna.
FrancesConley:FrancesK.Conley,WalkingOutontheBoys(NewYork:
Farrar,Straus&Giroux,1999).
“Isahoney,”shewondered:Ibid.,65.
JulieLynch,abuddingtechie:MichaelJ.Ybarra,“WhyWon’tWomenWrite
Code?”Sky,December1999.
ThePolgarfamily:CarlinFlora,“TheGrandmasterExperiment,”Psychology
Today,August2005.

CHAPTER4.SPORTS:THEMINDSETOFACHAMPION
AsMichaelLewistellsus:MichaelLewis,Moneyball:TheArtofWinningan
UnfairGame(NewYork:Norton,2003).
“Itwasn’tmerely”:Ibid.,9.
Asonescoutsaid:Ibid.,48.
“Hehadnoconceptoffailure”:Ibid.,46.
Beanecontinues,“Istartedtoget”:Ibid.,47.
MuhammadAlifailedthesemeasurements:FelixDennisandDonAtyeo,
MuhammadAli:TheGloryYears(NewYork:Hyperion,2003).
Hepulledbackhistorso:Ibid.,14.
NotonlydidhestudyListon’s:Ibid.,92.
Alisaid,“Listonhadtobelieve”:Ibid.,96.
Floatlikeabutterfly:Ibid.,74.
“Hewasaparadox”:Ibid.,14.
MichaelJordan:JanetLowe,MichaelJordanSpeaks:LessonsfromtheWorld’s
GreatestChampion(NewYork:JohnWiley,1999).
Hismothersays:Ibid.,7.
FormerBullsassistantcoachJohnBach:Ibid.,29.
ForJordan,successstems:Ibid.,35.
TheBabewasnotanatural,either:RobertW.Creamer,Babe:TheLegend
ComestoLife(NewYork:PenguinBooks,1974/1983).
RobertCreamer,hisbiographer:Ibid.,301.
“Hecouldexperimentattheplate”:Ibid.,109.
Yetweclingfast:StephenJ.Gould,TriumphandTragedyinMudville:A
LifelongPassionforBaseball(NewYork:Norton,2003).
WhataboutWilmaRudolph:TomBiracree,WilmaRudolph(NewYork:

ChelseaHouse,1988).
Afterherincrediblecareer,shesaid:Ibid.,107.
WhataboutJackieJoyner-Kersee:JackieJoyner-KerseewithSonjaSteptoe,A
KindofGrace(NewYork:WarnerBooks,1997).
“Thereissomethingaboutseeingmyselfimprove”:Ibid.,60.
Didyouknow:CliftonBrown,“OnGolf:It’sNotHowforTiger,It’sJustby
HowMuch,”TheNewYorkTimes,July25,2000.
Willswasaneagerbaseballplayer:CynthiaKersey,Unstoppable(Naperville,
IL:Sourcebooks,1998).
Heproudlyannouncedtohisfriends:Ibid.,152.
Attheseven-and-a-half:Ibid.,153.
Thisreallyhitme:BusterOlney,“SpeedyFeet,butanEvenQuickerThinker,”
TheNewYorkTimes,February1,2002.
BruceJenner(nowCaitlynJenner):MikeMcGovernandSusanShelly,The
QuotableAthlete(NewYork:McGraw-Hill,2000),113.
Theyhadn’twonaWorldSeries:Gould,TriumphandTragedyinMudville.
AsNewYorkTimeswriter:JackCurry,“AfterMelee,SpinControlTakes
Over,”TheNewYorkTimes,October13,2003.
EventheBostonwriterswereaghast:DanShaughnessy,“ItIsTimefor
MartineztoGrowUp,”TheNewYorkTimes,October13,2003.(During
thisseries,theGlobesportswriters’columnsappearedintheTimesand
viceversa.)Let’stakeitfromthetop:WilliamRhoden,“Momentous
Victory,MostNotablyAchieved,”TheNewYorkTimes,July10,2000.
“Justkeeppumpingyourarms”:Kersee,AKindofGrace,280.
“Thestrengthforthatsixthjump”:Ibid.,298.
But,asBillieJeanKingtellsus:King,BillieJean,236.
Whenthematch:Ibid.,78.
JackieJoyner-KerseehadherEureka!:Joyner-Kersee,AKindofGrace,63.
Oftencalledthebestwomansoccerplayer:MiaHammwithAaronHeifetz,Go
fortheGoal:AChampion’sGuidetoWinninginSoccerandinLife(New

York:HarperCollins,1999),31.
“Itis,”saidHamm:Ibid.,36.
Bytheway,didHammthink:Ibid.,3.
JackNicklaus,thefamedgolfer:TomCallahan,InSearchofTiger:AJourney
ThroughGoldwithTigerWoods(NewYork:Crown,2003),24.
JohnWooden:JohnWoodenwithJackTobin,TheyCallMeCoach(Waco,TX:
WordBooks,1972),63–65.
“Ibelieveability”:JohnWoodenwithSteveJamison,Wooden(Lincolnwood,
IL:ContemporaryBooks,1997),99.
StuartBiddleandhiscolleagues:“GoalOrientationandConceptionsofthe
NatureofSportAbilityinChildren:ASocialCognitiveApproach,”British
JournalofSocialPsychology35(1996),399–414;“Motivationfor
PhysicalActivityinYoungPeople:EntityandIncrementalBeliefsAbout
AthleticAbility,”JournalofSportsSciences21(2003),973–989.Seealso
YngvarOmmundsen,“ImplicitTheoriesofAbilityandSelf-Regulation
StrategiesinPhysicalEducationClasses,”EducationalPsychology23
(2003),141–157;“Self-HandicappingStrategiesinPhysicalEducation
Classes:TheInfluenceofImplicitTheoriesoftheNatureofAbilityand
AchievementGoalOrientations,”PsychologyofSportandExercise2
(2001),139–156.
Finding#1:ThisfindingisfromtheresearchbyBiddleandhiscolleagues.
“Formethejoyofathletics”:Joyner-Kersee,AKindofGrace,60.
Infact,hesays:Wooden,Wooden,53.
Afterthe’98Masterstournament:DaveAnderson,“NoRegretsforWoods,”
TheNewYorkTimes,April4,1998.
OrafteraBritishOpen:Callahan,InSearchofTiger,219.
Tigerisahugelyambitiousman:Ibid.,220.
MiaHammtellsus:Hamm,GofortheGoal,201.
“Theysawthatwetrulylove”:Ibid.,243.
“Therewasatime”:JohnMcEnroewithJamesKaplan,YouCannotBeSerious
(NewYork:Berkley,2002),10.

“Somepeopledon’twanttorehearse”:Ibid.,155.
Finding#2:Ommundsen,“ImplicitTheoriesofAbility,”141–157.
“Youcan’tleave”:Lowe,MichaelJordanSpeaks,99.
MichaelJordanembracedhisfailures:Ibid.,107.
Here’showKareemAbdul-Jabbar:Wooden,Wooden,100.
Forexample,hehopeddesperately:McEnroe,YouCannotBeSerious,112.
“God,ifIlosetoPatrick”:Ibid.,259.
Here’showfailuremotivatedhim:Ibid.,119.
In1981,McEnroebought:Ibid.,274.
Here’showfailuremotivatedSergioGarcia:Callahan,InSearchofTiger,164,
169.
Finding#3:Ommundsen,“ImplicitTheoriesofAbilityandSelf-Regulation
Strategies,”EducationalPsychology23(2003),141–157;“Self-
HandicappingStrategies,”PsychologyofSportandExercise2(2001),
139–156.
HowcomeMichaelJordan’sskill:Lowe,MichaelJordanSpeaks,177.
ButchHarmon,therenownedcoach:Callahan,InSearchofTiger,75.
Withthisinmind,Tiger’sdad:Ibid.,237.
“Iknowmygame”:Ibid.,219.
“Iloveworkingonshots”:Ibid.,300.
“He’stwelve”:Ibid.,23.
MarkO’Meara,Woods’sgolfpartner:Ibid.,25.
Forexample,whenhedidn’t:McEnroe,YouCannotBeSerious,166.
Infact,ratherthancombating:Ibid.,29.
Hewishedsomeoneelse:Ibid.,207.
“Thesystemletmegetaway”:Ibid.,190.
“Inoursociety”:Lowe,MichaelJordanSpeaks,37.

CoachJohnWoodenclaims:Wooden,Wooden,113.
“Ibelieve,forexample”:Ibid.,78.
Whenaskedbeforeagame:CharlieNobles,“JohnsonIsGone,SoBucs,Move
On,”TheNewYorkTimes,November20,2003;DaveAnderson,
“RegardingJohnson,JetsShouldJustSayNo,”TheNewYorkTimes,
November21,2003.
“Iamateamplayer,but”:Anderson,“RegardingJohnson.”
WhenNyadhatchedherplan:Kersey,Unstoppable,212.
IcissTillisisacollege:VivBernstein,“ThePictureDoesn’tTelltheStory,”The
NewYorkTimes,January24,2004.
It’ssix-foot-threeCandaceParker:IraBerkow,“StardomAwaitsaProdigyand
AssistGoestoHerFather,”TheNewYorkTimes,January20,2004.

CHAPTER5.BUSINESS:MINDSETANDLEADERSHIP
AccordingtoMalcolmGladwell:MalcolmGladwell,“TheTalentMyth,”The
NewYorker,July22,2002.
Rememberthestudywhereweinterviewed:Thatstudywasperformedwith
Ying-yiHong,C.Y.Chiu,DerekLin,andWendyWan.
Andrememberhowweputstudents:ThisresearchwasconductedwithClaudia
Mueller.
JimCollinssetouttodiscover:JimCollins,GoodtoGreat:WhySome
CompaniesMaketheLeap…andOthersDon’t(NewYork:HarperCollins,
2001).
“Theyusedtocallmetheprosecutor”:Ibid.,75.
RobertWoodandAlbertBandura:RobertWoodandAlbertBandura,“Impact
ofConceptionsofAbilityonSelf-RegulatoryMechanismsandComplex
DecisionMaking,”JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology56
(1989),407–415.
AsCollinsputsit:Collins,GoodtoGreat,26.
SaysCollins:Thegood-to-greatKroger:Ibid.,65–69.
AccordingtoJamesSurowiecki:JamesSurowiecki,“BlameIacocca:Howthe
FormerChryslerCEOCausedtheCorporateScandals,”Slate,July24,
2002.
WarrenBennis,theleadershipguru:WarrenBennis,OnBecomingaLeader
(Cambridge,MA:PerseusPublishing,1989/2003),xxix.
Iacoccawasn’tlikethat:LeeIacoccawithWilliamNovak,Iacocca:An
Autobiography(NewYork:BantamBooks,1984).
What’smore,“IfHenrywasking”:Ibid.,101.
“IwasHisMajesty’sspecialprotégé”:Ibid.,83.
“Allofus…livedthegoodlife”:Ibid.,101.
“Ihadalwaysclungtotheidea”:Ibid.,144.

HewonderedwhetherHenryFord:DoronP.Levin,BehindtheWheelat
Chrysler:TheIacoccaLegacy(NewYork:HarcourtBrace,1995),31.
“Youdon’trealizewhatafavor”:Ibid.,231.
Justafewyearsafter:Iacocca,Iacocca,xvii.
Withinashorttime,however:Levin,BehindtheWheelatChrysler.
Inaneditorial:Ibid.,312.
Soinabid:“Iacocca,SpurnedinReturnAttempts,LashesOut,”USAToday,
March19,2002.
AlbertDunlapsaveddyingcompanies:AlbertJ.DunlapwithBobAndelman,
MeanBusiness:HowISaveBadCompaniesandMakeGoodCompanies
Great(NewYork:Fireside/Simon&Schuster,1996).
“DidIearnit?”:Ibid.,21.
“Ifyou’reinbusiness”:Ibid.,199.
Awomanstoodupandasked:Ibid.,62.
“Makingmywayintheworld”:Ibid.,107–108.
“Themostridiculousterm”:Ibid.,196.
“Eventually,Ihavegottenbored”:Ibid.,26.
Thenin1996:JohnA.Byrne,“HowAlDunlapSelf-Destructed,”Business
Week,July6,1998.
KenLay,thecompany’sfounder:BethanyMcLeanandPeterElkind,The
SmartestGuysintheRoom:TheAmazingRiseandScandalousFallof
Enron(NewYork:PenguinGroup,2003).
Kinderwasalsotheonlyperson:Ibid.,92.
EvenasLay:Ibid.,89.
“Rondoesn’tgetit”:Ibid.,69.
“Well,it’ssoobvious”:Ibid.,233.
AsMcLeanandElkindreport:Ibid.,40.
SaidAmandaMartin,anEnronexecutive:Ibid.,121.

Residentgeniusesalmostbroughtdown:AlecKlein,StealingTime:SteveCase,
JerryLevin,andtheCollapseofAOLTimeWarner(NewYork:Simon&
Schuster,2003).
SpeakingaboutAOLexecutives:Ibid.,171.
AsMorganMcCall:MorganW.McCall,HighFlyers:DevelopingtheNext
GenerationofLeaders(Boston:HarvardBusinessSchoolPress,1998),
xiii.McCallalsoanalyzestheeffectsoncorporatecultureofbelievingin
naturaltalentinsteadofthepotentialtodevelop.“ThemessageofHigh
Flyers,”hesays,“isthatleadershipabilitycanbelearned,thatcreatinga
contextthatsupportsthedevelopmentoftalentcanbecomeasourceof
competitiveadvantage,andthatthedevelopmentofleadersisitselfa
leadershipresponsibility,”xii.
HarveyHornstein,anexpert:HarveyA.Hornstein,BrutalBossesandTheir
Prey(NewYork:RiverheadBooks,1996),49.
HornsteindescribesPaulKazarian:Ibid.,10.
Anengineeratamajoraircraft:Ibid.,54.
InGoodtoGreat,Collinsnotes:Collins,GoodtoGreat,72.
AccordingtoCollinsandPorras:JamesC.CollinsandJerryI.Porras,Builtto
Last:SuccessfulHabitsofVisionaryCompanies(NewYork:
HarperCollins,1994/2002),165.
RayMacdonaldofBurroughs:Ibid.,166.
ThesamethinghappenedatTexas:Ibid.
AndrewCarnegieoncesaid:JohnC.Maxwell,DevelopingtheLeadersAround
You(Nashville,TN:ThomasNelson,1995),15.
WarrenBennishassaid:Bennis,OnBecomingaLeader,19.
WhenJackWelchtookover:“Overvalued:WhyJackWelchIsn’tGod,”The
NewRepublic,June11,2001.Eventhisarticle,whichexplainswhyWelch
shouldnotberegardedasagodlikefigure,detailshisremarkable
accomplishments.
FortunemagazinecalledWelch:Ibid.
Buttomeevenmoreimpressive:SteveBennett,“TheBoss:PutItinWriting

Please,”TheNewYorkTimes,May9,2004.
Instead,it’s“Ihatehavingto”:JackWelchwithJohnA.Byrne,Jack:Straight
fromtheGut(NewYork:WarnerBooks,2001),ix.
Or“[Thesepeople]filledmyjourney”:Ibid.,439.
In1971,Welchwasbeingconsidered:Ibid.,42.
Oneday,young“Dr.”Welch:Ibid.,36.
“TheKidderexperienceneverleftme”:Ibid.,228–229.
Whathelearnedwasthis:Ibid.,384.
WhenWelchwasayoungengineer:Ibid.,27.
“EventuallyIlearned”:Ibid.,54.
Oneevening,Welchaddressed:Ibid.,97–98.
Infrontoffivehundredmanagers:Ibid.,189.
“Asaresult,leaderswereencouraged”:Ibid.,186.
“YouoweittoAmerica”:LouisV.Gerstner,WhoSaysElephantsCan’tDance?
InsideIBM’sHistoricTurnaround(NewYork:HarperCollins,2002),16.
Sixdaysafterhearrived:Ibid.,78.
Hededicatedhisbooktothem:Ibid.,v.
“Hierarchymeansverylittletome”:Ibid.,24.
“[IBMstock]hasdonenothing”:Ibid.,57.
ThatwastheXeroxAnneMulcahy:BetsyMorris,“TheAccidentalCEO,”
Fortune,June23,2003.
FortunenamedMulcahy“thehottestturnaround”:“MostPowerfulWomenin
Business2004,”Fortune,October18,2004.
Forexample,asFortunewriterBetsy:Morris,“TheAccidentalCEO.”
Shewastough:Ibid.
Afterslavingaway:Ibid.
Butayearlatersheknew:Ibid.

Womennowholdmorekeypositions:“MostPowerfulWomeninBusiness
2004.”
Infact,FortunemagazinecalledMeg:ErynBrown,“HowCanaDot-ComBe
ThisHot?”Fortune,January21,2002;PatriciaSellers,“eBay’sSecret,”
Fortune,October18,2004.
ResearcherRobertWoodandhiscolleagues:RobertE.Wood,Katherine
WilliamsPhillips,andCarmenTabernero,“ImplicitTheoriesofAbility,
ProcessingDynamicsandPerformanceinDecision-MakingGroups,”
AustralianGraduateSchoolofManagement,Sydney,Australia.
Intheearly1970s,IrvingJanis:IrvingJanis,Groupthink,2nded.(Boston:
HoughtonMifflin,1972/1982).
“Everythinghadbrokenrightforhim”:Ibid.,35.
Schlesingeralsosaid,“Hadonesenior”:Ibid.,38.
Topreventthisfromhappening:Collins,GoodtoGreat,71.
AnoutsideconsultantkeptaskingEnron:McLeanandElkind,TheSmartest
GuysintheRoom,241.
“Wegottothepoint”:Ibid.,230.
AlfredP.Sloan,theformerCEO:Janis,Groupthink,71.FromPeterF.
Drucker,TheEffectiveExecutive(NewYork:Harper&Row,1966).
Herodotus,writing:Janis,Groupthink,71.
Hesaidthenew,roundercars:Levin,BehindtheWheel,102–103.
DavidPackard,ontheotherhand:DavidPackard,TheHPWay:HowBill
HewlettandIBuiltOurCompany(NewYork:HarperCollins,1995).
Youcan’tpickupamagazine:JeanM.Twenge,GenerationMe:WhyToday’s
YoungAmericansAreMoreConfident,Assertive,Entitled—andMore
MiserableThanEverBefore(NewYork:FreePress,2007).
LauraKrayandMichaelHaselhuhnhaveshown:LauraKrayandMichael
Haselhuhn,“ImplicitTheoriesofNegotiatingAbilityandPerformance:
LongitudinalandExperimentalEvidence.”JournalofPersonalityand
SocialPsychology93(2007),49–64.
StudiesbyPeterHeslin:PeterHeslin,GaryLatham,andDonVandeWalle,

“TheEffectofImplicitPersonTheoryonPerformanceAppraisals,”
JournalofAppliedPsychology,90(2005),842–56;PeterHeslin,Don
VandeWalle,andGaryLatham,“KeentoHelp?Managers’IPTandTheir
SubsequentEmployeeCoaching,”PersonnelPsychology59(2006),871–
902.
WhenWarrenBennisinterviewed:Bennis,OnBecomingaLeader,xxix.
Bennisconcurred:“Ibelieve”:Ibid.,xxxii.
JohnZengerandJosephFolkman:JohnH.ZengerandJosephFolkman,The
ExtraordinaryLeader:TurningGoodManagersintoGreatLeaders(New
York:McGraw-Hill,2002).
Or,asMorganMcCallargues:McCall,HighFlyers.
Tofindout,westudiedagroup:ThisworkwasconductedwithMaryMurphy,
JennyChatman,andLauraKray,withthecollaborationofSennDelaney,a
Heidrick&Strugglescompany.

CHAPTER6.RELATIONSHIPS:MINDSETSINLOVE(ORNOT)
Whatseparatesthem?:ThisworkwascarriedoutwithIsraelaSilberman.
TheContosfamily:ShownonWeddingsGoneWild,ABC,June14,2004.
Inhisstudyofgiftedpeople:BenjaminS.Bloom,DevelopingTalentinYoung
People(NewYork:BallantineBooks,1985).
Maybethat’swhyDanielGoleman’s:DanielGoleman,EmotionalIntelligence:
WhyItCanMatterMorethanIQ(NewYork:Bantam,1995).
AaronBeck,therenownedpsychiatrist:AaronT.Beck,LoveIsNeverEnough
(NewYork:Harper&Row,1988),202.
SaysJohnGottman:JohnGottmanwithNanSilver,WhyMarriagesSucceedor
Fail(NewYork:Fireside/Simon&Schuster,1994),69.
ElayneSavage,notedfamilypsychologist:ElayneSavage,Don’tTakeIt
Personally:TheArtofDealingwithRejection(Oakland,CA:New
Harbinger,1997).
RaymondKneeandhiscolleagues:C.RaymondKnee,“ImplicitTheoriesof
Relationships:AssessmentandPredictionofRomanticRelationship
Initiation,Coping,andLongevity,”JournalofPersonalityandSocial
Psychology74(1998),360–370.
JohnGottmanreports:Gottman,WhyMarriagesSucceedorFail,155.
Andtheyassignblametoatrait:ThishasbeenstudiedbyRaymondKnee,and
IhavefoundthisinmyworkwithLaraKammrath.(Seealsotheworkof
FrankFincham.)Sooncepeoplewiththefixedmindset:Theideathata
fixedmindsetcanunderminerelationshipsisalsofoundintheworkofRoy
EidelsonandNormanEpstein,andofSusanHendrickandClydeHendrick.
Theideaofcriticism—attackingthepartner’spersonalityorcharacter—
leadingtocontemptisexploredintheworkofJohnGottman.
BrendaandJackwereclients:DanielB.Wile,AftertheHoneymoon:How
ConflictCanImproveYourRelationship(NewYork:JohnWiley&Sons,
1988).

ThestoryofTedandKaren:Beck,LoveIsNeverEnough.
“Everythingshesaysanddoes”:Ibid.,36.
“Shenevertakesanythingseriously”:Ibid.
“Whatisthematurething”:Ibid.,246.
AaronBecktellscouples:Ibid.,199.
Hillarydefendedhim:HillaryRodhamClinton,LivingHistory(NewYork:
Simon&Schuster,2003),465.
Throughcounseling,Billcametounderstand:BillClinton,MyLife(New
York:Knopf,2004);BillClintononTheCharlieRoseShow,June23,
2004.
Oneevening,StevieWonder:H.R.Clinton,LivingHistory.
JenniferBeerstudiedhundredsofpeople:JenniferS.Beer,“ImplicitSelf-
TheoriesofShyness,”JournalofPersonality&SocialPsychology83
(2002),1009–1024.SeealsotheexcellentworkofPhilZimbardoon
shyness.
ScottWetzler,atherapistandprofessor:ScottWetzler,IsItYouorIsItMe?
WhyCouplesPlaytheBlameGame(NewYork:HarperCollins,1998).
“Itdoesn’tmattertome”:Ibid.,134.
AtColumbine,themostnotorious:BrooksBrownandRobMerritt,NoEasy
Answers:TheTruthBehindDeathatColumbine(NewYork:Lantern
Books,2002).
Whenpeoplefeeldeeplyjudged:SeetherecentresearchbyDavidYeagerand
hiscolleagues(e.g.,D.S.Yeager,K.H.Trzesniewski,K.Tirri,P.
Nokelainen,andC.S.Dweck,“Adolescents’ImplicitTheoriesPredict
DesireforVengeanceAfterRememberedandHypotheticalPeerConflicts:
CorrelationalandExperimentalEvidence,”DevelopmentalPsychology47
[2011],1090–1107,andD.S.Yeager,K.Trzesniewski,andC.S.Dweck,
“AnImplicitTheoriesofPersonalityInterventionReducesAdolescent
AggressioninResponsetoVictimizationandExclusion,”Child
Development84[2012],970–988).
BrooksBrown,aclassmate:BrooksBrownandRobMerritt,NoEasyAnswers.

Herejectedthefixedmindset:Ibid.,47.
Inhisownwords:Ibid.,107.
“It’stouseyourmind”:Ibid.,263.
“Wecanjustsitback”:Ibid.,21.
StanDavis,atherapist:StanDavis,SchoolsWhereEveryoneBelongs:
PracticalStrategiesforReducingBullying(Wayne,ME:StopBullying
Now,2003).SeealsoDanOlweus,BullyingatSchool(Malden,MA:
Blackwell,1993).
“Inoticethatyouhavebeen”:Ibid.,34.
HaimGinott,therenownedchildpsychologist:HaimG.Ginott,Teacherand
Child(NewYork:Macmillan,1972),167.
InaNewYorkTimesarticle:JaneGross,“HotTopicatSummerCamps:
EndingtheRuleoftheBullies,”TheNewYorkTimes,June28,2004.

CHAPTER7.PARENTS,TEACHERS,ANDCOACHES:WHEREDO
MINDSETSCOMEFROM?
HaimGinott,thechild-rearingsage:HaimG.Ginott,BetweenParent&Child
(NewYork:AvonBooks,1956),22–24.
Rememberchapter3:ThisworkwaswithClaudiaMuellerandMelissaKamins.
GinotttellsofPhilip:HaimG.Ginott,BetweenParent&Teenager(NewYork:
Macmillan,1969),88.
ChildrenLearntheMessages:ThisresearchwasdonewithChauncyLennon
andEvaPomerantz.
Here’sakindergartenboy:ThisisfromworkwithGailHeymanandKathy
Cain:GailD.Heyman,CarolS.Dweck,andKathleenCain,“Young
Children’sVulnerabilitytoSelf-BlameandHelplessness,”Child
Development63(1992),401–415.
Weaskedsecond-gradechildren:ThisresearchwaswithGailHeyman:GailD.
HeymanandCarolS.Dweck,“Children’sThinkingAboutTraits:
ImplicationsforJudgmentsoftheSelfandOthers,”ChildDevelopment64
(1998),391–403.
MaryMainandCarolGeorge:MaryMainandCarolGeorge,“Responsesof
AbusedandDisadvantagedToddlerstoDistressintheDayCareSetting,”
DevelopmentalPsychology21(1985),407–412.
“Myparentspushedme”:JohnMcEnroewithJamesKaplan,YouCannotBe
Serious(NewYork:Berkley,2002),31.
However,hesays,“Manyathletes”:Ibid.,30.
“IfTigerhadwantedtobe”:TomCallahan,InSearchofTiger:AJourney
ThroughGoldwithTigerWoods(NewYork:Crown,2003),213.
Tigersaysinreturn:TigerWoods,HowIPlayGolf(NewYork:WarnerBooks,
2001),302.
DorothyDeLay,thefamousviolinteacher:BarbaraL.Sand,TeachingGenius:
DorothyDeLayandtheMakingofaMusician(Portland,OR:Amadeus

Press,2000).
Onesetofparents:Ibid.,79.
DeLayspentcountlesshours:Ibid.,144.
SaysYura,“I’malwayshappy”:Ibid.,153.
Weaskedcollegestudentstodescribe:ThisworkwaswithBonitaLondon.
HaimGinottdescribesNicholas:Ginott,BetweenParent&Teenager,132.
Forthirty-fiveyears,SheilaSchwartztaught:SheilaSchwartz,“Teaching’s
UnletteredFuture,”TheNewYorkTimes,August6,1998.
MarvaCollinstaughtChicagochildren:MarvaCollinsandCiviaTamarkin,
MarvaCollins’Way:ReturningtoExcellenceinEducation(LosAngeles:
JeremyTarcher,1982/1990);MarvaCollins,“Ordinary”Children,
ExtraordinaryTeachers(Charlottesville,VA:HamptonRoadsPublishing,
1992).
When60Minutesdidasegment:Collins,“Ordinary”Children,43–44.
ChicagoSun-TimeswriterZaySmith:CollinsandTamarkin,MarvaCollins’
Way,160.
AsCollinslooksback:Ibid.,47.
“Iknowmostofyoucan’t”:Ibid.,21–22.
Astheychangedfromchildren:Ibid.,68.
RafeEsquithteachesLosAngeles:RafeEsquith,ThereAreNoShortcuts(New
York:Pantheon,2003).
DeLay’shusbandalwaysteasedher:Sand,TeachingGenius,23.
Hermentorandfellowteacher:Ibid.,54.
“Ithinkit’stooeasy”:Ibid.,70.
ItzhakPerlmanwasherstudent:Ibid.,201.
“Ithinkshehassomethingspecial”:Ibid.,85.
YetsheestablishedonDayOne:CollinsandTamarkin,MarvaCollins’Way,
19.
WhenBenjaminBloomstudiedhis120:BenjaminS.Bloom,Developing

TalentinYoungPeople(NewYork:BallantineBooks,1985).
WhenCollinsexpandedherschool:Collins,“Ordinary”Children.
Esquithbemoanstheloweringofstandards:Esquith,ThereAreNoShortcuts,
53.
“ThatispartofMissDeLay’s”:Sand,TeachingGenius,219.
“Iknowwhichchildwillhandle”:Esquith,ThereAreNoShortcuts,40.
Collinsechoesthatidea:CollinsandTamarkin,MarvaCollins’Way,21.
Onestudentwassurehecouldn’t:Sand,TeachingGenius,64.
Anotherstudentwasintimidated:Ibid.,114.
AsMarvaCollinssaidtoaboy:CollinsandTamarkin,MarvaCollins’Way,
208.
Hereisashortenedversion:Ibid.,85–88.
“It’ssortoflikeSocratessays”:Ibid.,159.
Foraclassassignment,hewrote:Ibid.,165.
Andsheletherstudentsknow:Ibid.,87.
MichaelLewis,inTheNewYorkTimes:MichaelLewis,“CoachFitz’s
ManagementTheory,”TheNewYorkTimesMagazine,March28,2004.
BobbyKnight,thefamousandcontroversial:BobKnightwithBobHammel,
Knight:MyStory(NewYork:St.Martin’sPress,2002);SteveAlfordwith
JohnGarrity,PlayingforKnight(NewYork:Fireside/Simon&Schuster,
1989);JohnFeinstein,ASeasonontheBrink:AYearwithBobbyKnight
andtheIndianaHoosiers(NewYork:Fireside/Simon&Schuster,1987).
JohnFeinstein,authorofSeason:Feinstein,SeasonontheBrink,3.
InDarylThomas,Feinsteinsays:Ibid.,3–4.
“YouknowwhatyouareDaryl?”:Ibid.,7.
Anassistantcoachhadgiventhisadvice:Ibid.,4.
“WhatIlikebestaboutthisteam”:Ibid.,25.
SteveAlford,whowenton:Alford,PlayingforKnight,101.

“Theatmospherewaspoisonous”:Ibid.,169.
SaysAlford,“Coach’sHolyGrail”:Ibid.,63.
Inthe“seasononthebrink”:Feinstein,SeasonontheBrink,xi.
“Youknowthereweretimes”:Ibid.,8–9.
CoachJohnWoodenproduced:JohnWoodenwithJackTobin,TheyCallMe
Coach(Waco,TX:WordBooks,1972);JohnWoodenwithSteveJamison,
Wooden:ALifetimeofObservationsandReflectionsOnandOfftheCourt
(Lincolnwood,IL:ContemporaryBooks,1997).
“Youhavetoapplyyourself”:Wooden,Wooden,11.
“DidIwin?DidIlose?”:Ibid.,56.
Ifso,hesays:Ibid.,55.
Iftheplayerswerecoasting:Ibid.,119.
“Ilookedateachone”:Ibid.,95.
“Otherfellowswhoplayed”:Ibid.,67.
Buthepromisedhim:Ibid.,141–142.
BillWalton,HallofFamer:Ibid.,ix.
DennyCrum,successfulcoach:Ibid.,xii.
KareemAbdul-Jabbar,HallofFamer:Ibid.,xiii.
Itwasthemomentofvictory:Wooden,TheyCallMeCoach,9–10.
“Therearecoachesoutthere”:Wooden,Wooden,117.
PatSummittwasthecoach:PatSummittwithSallyJenkins,Reachforthe
Summit(NewYork:BroadwayBooks,1998).
Woodencallsitbeing“infected”:Wooden,Wooden.
PatRiley,formercoach:PatRiley,TheWinnerWithin(NewYork:Putnam,
1993).
Summittexplained,“Successlullsyou”:Summitt,ReachfortheSummit,237.
TheNorthCarolinacoach:Ibid.,5.
“Getyourheadsup”:Ibid.,6.

“Youneverstaythesame”:TylerKepner,“TheCompletePackage:WhyA-
RodIstheBestinBusiness,EvenWhileLearningaNewPosition,”The
NewYorkTimes,April4,2004.
First,it’sthepraise:E.A.Gunderson,S.J.Gripshover,C.Romero,C.S.
Dweck,S.Goldin-Meadow,andS.C.Levine,“ParentPraiseto1-to3-
Year-OldsPredictsChildren’sMotivationalFrameworks5YearsLater,”
ChildDevelopment84(2013),1526–1541.
Second,it’sthewayadultsrespond:K.HaimovitzandC.S.Dweck,“What
PredictsChildren’sFixedandGrowthIntelligenceMindsets?NotTheir
Parents’ViewsofIntelligencebutTheirParents’ViewsofFailure,”
PsychologicalScience(2016).
Third,passingonagrowthmindset:K.L.Sun,There’sNoLimit:Mathematics
TeachingforaGrowthMindset(doctoraldissertation;Stanford,CA:
StanfordUniversity,2015).
Otherstudiespaint:S.H.Yang,K.Haimovitz,C.Wright,M.Murphy,andD.
S.Yeager,TransmittingOrganizationalTheoriesofIntelligenceIsEasier
DoneThanSaid:EvidencefromaMulti-levelAnalysisatTenHigh
Schools(unpublishedmanuscript,UniversityofTexasatAustin,2016).

CHAPTER8.CHANGINGMINDSETS
Inthe1960s,psychiatristAaronBeck:AaronT.Beck,“Thinkingand
Depression:IdiosyncraticContentandCognitiveDistortions,”Archivesof
GeneralPsychology9(1963),325–333;PrisonersofHate:TheCognitive
BasisofAnger,Hostility,andViolence(NewYork:HarperCollins,1999).
(Ataboutthesametime,therapistAlbertElliswasdiscoveringasimilar
thing:thatbeliefsarethekeytohowpeoplefeel.)Inseveralstudies,we
probed:ThisworkwasdonewithYing-yiHong,C.Y.Chiu,andRussell
Sacks.
Itdoesnotconfrontthebasic:However,seeJeffreyE.YoungandJanet
Klosko,ReinventingYourLife(NewYork:Plume/Penguin,1994).
AlthoughYoungandKloskoareworkinginacognitivetherapytradition,a
coreassumptionoftheirapproachandonethattheyteachtheirclientsis
thatpeoplecanchangeinverybasicways.
AMindsetWorkshop:ThisworkshopwasdevelopedwithLisaSorich
BlackwellwithgrantsfromtheWilliamT.GrantFoundationandthe
SpencerFoundation:L.S.Blackwell,C.S.Dweck,andK.Trzesniewski,
ImplicitTheoriesofIntelligencePredictAchievementAcrossan
AdolescentTransition:ALongitudinalStudyandanIntervention,2003.I
wouldalsoliketoacknowledgeotherpsychologistswhohavedeveloped
theirownstudentworkshopsbasedonthegrowthmindset:JeffHoward,
founderoftheEfficacyInstitute,andJoshuaAronson,CatherineGood,and
MichaelInzlichtofNewYorkUniversityandColumbiaUniversity.
“Manypeoplethinkofthebrain”:ThiswaswrittenfortheworkshopbyLisa
SorichBlackwell.
Brainology:TheBrainologycomputer-basedprogramwasalsodevelopedwith
LisaSorichBlackwell,withagrantfromtheWilliamT.GrantFoundation.
PsychologistsKarenHorneyandCarlRogers:KarenHorney,Neurosisand
HumanGrowth:TheStruggleTowardSelf-Realization(NewYork:
Norton,1950);OurInnerConflicts:AConstructiveTheoryofNeurosis
(NewYork:Norton,1945);CarlR.Rogers,Client-CenteredTherapy(New

York:HoughtonMifflin,1951);OnBecomingaPerson(NewYork:

HoughtonMifflin,1961).

ResearchbyPeterGollwitzer:PeterM.Gollwitzer,“ImplementationIntentions:

StrongEffectsofSimplePlans,”AmericanPsychologist54(1999),493–

503.

MindsetandWillpower:IamresearchingthisissuewithAbigailScholer,Eran

Magen,andJamesGross.

Somepeoplethinkaboutthis:SeetherecentresearchbyVeronikaJoband

colleagues(e.g.,V.Job,G.M.Walton,K.Bernecker,andC.S.Dweck,

“ImplicitTheoriesAboutWillpowerPredictSelf-RegulationandGradesin

EverydayLife,”JournalofPersonalityandSocialPsychology108[2015],

637–647).

WhenIaskedpeople:Someoftheseandlaterexamplesareeditedor

paraphrasedforbrevityandclarity(andfortheanonymityofthepeople).

RECOMMENDEDBOOKS

Beck,AaronT.LoveIsNeverEnough.NewYork:Harper&Row,1988.

———.PrisonersofHate.NewYork:HarperCollins,1999.

Beck,JudithS.CognitiveTherapy.NewYork:GuilfordPress,1995.

Bennis,Warren.OnBecomingaLeader.Cambridge,MA:PerseusPublishing,1989/2003.

Binet,Alfred(SuzanneHeisler,trans.).ModernIdeasAboutChildren.MenloPark,CA:SuzanneHeisler,

1975(originalwork,1909).

Bloom,BenjaminS.DevelopingTalentinYoungPeople.NewYork:BallantineBooks,1985.

Collins,Jim.GoodtoGreat:WhySomeCompaniesMaketheLeap…andOthersDon’t.NewYork:

HarperCollins,2001.

Collins,Marva,andCiviaTamarkin.MarvaCollins’Way:ReturningtoExcellenceinEducation.Los

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CAROLS.DWECK,PH.D.,iswidelyregardedasoneoftheworld’sleadingresearchers

inthefieldsofpersonality,socialpsychology,anddevelopmentalpsychology.Sheisthe

Lewis and Virginia Eaton Professor of Psychology at Stanford University, has been

elected to the American Academy of Arts and Sciences and the National Academy of

Sciences,andhaswonninelifetimeachievementawardsforherresearch.Sheaddressed

the United Nations on the eve of their new global development plan and has advised

governmentsoneducationalandeconomicpolicies.Herworkhasbeenfeaturedinalmost

everymajornationalpublication,andshehasappearedonToday,GoodMorningAmerica,

and20/20.SheliveswithherhusbandinPaloAlto,California.

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